just been thinking

johnnybegood
johnnybegood Member Posts: 1,117 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
i do that alot.i was wondering if any body is having these feelings like i am.i was dx in sept.2009.so it was last year at this time i was just about finished with my xeloda and radiation..with it being fall the coolness in the air and the holidays approaching my emotions are just running wild.i guess what i am trying to say is it is like i am having flash backs.places i go certain smells it just makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.for example i went to walgreens to pick up some meds and when i left i about threw up.the smell of the place brought back the sickening feel of how i would go in and get something use the restroom and have poop running down my leg so please if anyone is having these kind of flashbacks let me know or am i just going crazy....Godbless....johnnybegood

Comments

  • Muzzy
    Muzzy Member Posts: 175 Member
    #2
    Your not crazy
    Your not crazy and your not alone. A year ago i had surgery and i'm going thru the same thing.
    Jeff
    Just happy to be here!!!
  • lesvanb
    lesvanb Member Posts: 905
    #3
    Nope, not crazy
    though we can be driven crazy by our thoughts. Last year at this time I had just recovered from my second surgery-liver resection- and we were having a celebration of life for my brother-in-law who suddenly passed Oct 15. What works for me is to build new physical memories so that events like the fall season or the smell of something then has something different attached to it. This fall I'm riding my horse a lot and I love the smell of him on a cool sunny fall day.

    Leslie
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #4
    Yup
    I'm having that same problem as it was the day before Thanksgiving last year that I found out I had a tumor and I needed to come back for further testing. Thanksgiving this year will be a very Blessed event, but the memories of last year will and are weighing very heavily on my mind. I do agree with replacing the memories with new ones but I first have to get through this Thanksgiving to start putting new memories in place. You're not alone by any means.

    Kim
  • johnnybegood
    johnnybegood Member Posts: 1,117 Member
    #5
    Annabelle41415 said:

    Yup
    I'm having that same problem as it was the day before Thanksgiving last year that I found out I had a tumor and I needed to come back for further testing. Thanksgiving this year will be a very Blessed event, but the memories of last year will and are weighing very heavily on my mind. I do agree with replacing the memories with new ones but I first have to get through this Thanksgiving to start putting new memories in place. You're not alone by any means.

    Kim

    thanks
    for your replies and that is a wonderful thing to say.yes we do need to make new memories.lesvanb you are a horse lover too! thats what keeps me going besides my husband and kids.i have got a 7 month old weanling who gets most of my time right now but would love to ride my paint but just dont think my body could take the bouncing with this neuropathy.so glad to hear from you kim,hope all is well.just remember to think about our new normal and this too shall pass.take care all and Godbless...johnnybegood
  • daydreamer110761
    daydreamer110761 Member Posts: 487 Member
    #6
    johnnybegood said:

    thanks
    for your replies and that is a wonderful thing to say.yes we do need to make new memories.lesvanb you are a horse lover too! thats what keeps me going besides my husband and kids.i have got a 7 month old weanling who gets most of my time right now but would love to ride my paint but just dont think my body could take the bouncing with this neuropathy.so glad to hear from you kim,hope all is well.just remember to think about our new normal and this too shall pass.take care all and Godbless...johnnybegood

    nope -
    not crazy at all. Imagine - I was Dx'd on my birthday - yuck!
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    #7
    daydreamer110761 said:

    nope -
    not crazy at all. Imagine - I was Dx'd on my birthday - yuck!

    I was
    dx'd a month before my bday, and I always seem now to reflect back on how it was before I was dx'd, and now do more looking forward to having more memories, no you're not crazy, I think we all reflect, and there's nothing wrong with it :)

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • christinecarl
    christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
    #8
    It is hard
    I was diagnosed 12/3/09 and I too am having flashbacks, it is almost like post traumatic stress disorder. I am actually going to see a therapist next week, I feel like I need someone to talk to, to let all the craziness out of my head.
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #9
    christinecarl said:

    It is hard
    I was diagnosed 12/3/09 and I too am having flashbacks, it is almost like post traumatic stress disorder. I am actually going to see a therapist next week, I feel like I need someone to talk to, to let all the craziness out of my head.

    One year ago today
    One year ago today, I had a colonoscopy and was diagnosed (after a weekend of being totally sick at the beach) .... and today, I got a call for a colonoscopy follow-up! Yikes!! I was in the hospital last Thanksgiving, so this year, I'm cooking the dang poor Turkey and everyone is going to eat it, and they are going to love it! .......and, and the colonoscopy will be just fine!

    Seriously, my port was taken out yesterday, and I am going to the coast this weekend to walk on that dang beach........

    Raquel

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