After My Surgery

Options
Mexicali_Rose
Mexicali_Rose Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I had my mastectomy done at the end of July. It went fairly well except that my drain had to stay in longer than usual and I had a large hematoma. I have had so much trouble coming to terms with the loss of my breast. My right breast and nipple were much more sensitive and pleasurable than the one that was left. That has been hard for me. And I expected a flat, smooth scar that would fade in time. But it is an ugly long, deep gash across my chest and my skin, which was smooth and soft is now all puckery. I look in the mirror and cry. And I cry when I see women with big beautiful healthy breasts. And I feel so sad and self-conscious with only one breast. I don't find my mastectomy bra and prosthesis comfortable in the least. I am scheduled to have my other breast off at the end of next month. The doctor is going to save the nipple. I want to see him tomorrow and see if this scar can be corrected somehow. I HATE it!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #2
    Options
    Awwwww
    Bless you... You sound just like I feel. My surgeon saved my nipple, I wonder why?.......It's my most distinguishing point! I would sooner have had it gone, that way I could pad-up and not have to bother covering it up. I have Headlights one facing down and outwards, one facing up and inwards.........I Hate it~!... You are much braver than me, I can't even look in the mnirror at all. I wish I had just has the whole lot off and some nice saggy inserts provided...........I don't wan't more surgery, I'm 48, I could hardly use them as a sexual weapon anymore.........get rid, give me some peace of mind. Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxx
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #3
    Options
    I miss my breast also!!! i
    I miss my breast also!!! i feel ungrateful complaining, because, well i am so happy to be alive, but I miss my Boob. I don"t want my husband to see it. It is hard, and numb, I have an expander in. I guess i am not making you feel better, but at least you know you are not alone. Take care
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #4
    Options
    Sorry Rose
    I so sorry Rose. Bc takes so much from us, mentally and physically. I know it just doesn't seem fair, does it? I pray that you will find some peace eventually and that you will be happy. Give yourself some time. Seek help if you need too. Support groups are really amazing. And ofcourse this site, helps all of us in so many ways.

    ♥ Noel
  • Wolfi
    Wolfi Member Posts: 425
    #5
    Options
    Scar shape
    I had a bilateral in August and also thought I would have "nice looking" flat, smooth scars after my chest healed. No such luck. I have two scars on the right and one on the left (plus two small ones from drains) with puckery areas and some indented parts (they had to carve out quite a bit of my chest muscle in one spot).

    I don't have a problem looking at myself in the mirror, but am irritated that even if I eventually become more smoothed out I will never be able to build up enough muscle in that one area to make it look "normal".

    My big problem is looking at clothes - I see all kinds of shirts and dresses that I would have bought (or at least tried on) before but now they aren't even an option because of the neckline. I found a really nice shirt but didn't even take it off the hanger to try it on because the first button started about three inches below the neck (which would have been just low enough so everyone could see my mastectomy tank top and my carved out chest).
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #6
    Options
    Hi Rose. I am sorry for
    Hi Rose. I am sorry for what you are going thru. I hope that your plastic surgeon can help you out. I am sure that he will be able to. Feel better!

    Sue :)
  • bethl
    bethl Member Posts: 4
    #7
    Options
    Ritzy said:

    Hi Rose. I am sorry for
    Hi Rose. I am sorry for what you are going thru. I hope that your plastic surgeon can help you out. I am sure that he will be able to. Feel better!

    Sue :)

    Hi Rose
    I had my surgery on
    Hi Rose

    I had my surgery on Oct 24 and have 2 expanders in.

    My former 34 DDD chest now looks like a jigsaw puzzle!

    Everyone I have spoken with about this tells me that it will be put back together better than before!

    I was never able to wear camis or go without a bra since I was about 12 years old!

    It is normal to have depression and issues with the way you look and there is help available.

    Keep in mind that you are a surviver from the time you got your diagnosis,
    Do your exercise.Drink plenty of water.
    Try and think positive and get rid of the negative people in your life.

    One day soon you will look back on this and prehaps be able to help another of our sisters along this path.There are no maps for this path,but we can help to shine the light.

    Keep in touch.

    Beth
  • Sunrae
    Sunrae Member Posts: 808
    #8
    Options
    Dear Rose
    My heart goes out to all of you and as I sat here reading all of the posts, it makes me cry. It makes me feel so bad when I read all of what you beautiful courageous women are going thru and somehow or the other you all seem to get thru it. Sometimes I feel like its a bad dream and I'll wake up and be back in the real world. I haven't had surgery yet or chemo and it seems like I'm sitting on the sidelines waiting for the other shoe to drop. Wish I could think of some great words of encouragement to give you. From everything I've read here on this site it all seems to be "doable". May God give all of you comfort, courage, love, healing and the will to get past this disease and conquer it. My prayers are with all of you.

Discussion Boards