Nearing the anniversary of Moms 1 year being gone :(

Trinity82600
Trinity82600 Member Posts: 2
edited March 2014 in Surviving Caregivers #1
Hey all I am new to this site. Wished I would have found it a long time ago. My name is Trinity. In Feb of 08, we found out Mom had stomach cancer. Very early, and with a simple surgery she would be like new again... A couple weeks later after futher testing an PET scan they found a tumor in her right upper lobe. 2 weeks later we were in UW of Madison, awaiting Moms surgery to remove her right upper lobe. After what was only supposed to take 2 hours end up taking 4.5hours, we found out that not only was it in her lung is also spread to her chest wall, and her ribs. She needed 5 ribs removed an they also scraped her chest wall. 4 days later Mom was home and in lots of pain, after numerous trips and stays to the hospital and her getting weaker they do her surgery on her stomach, only to find that chemo would have taken care of the tumor since it was so small. After the stomach surgery she went down hill fast and lost alot of weight. On June 20th Mom's 58th bithday, they released her from the hospital. We were all so happy to have her home, she on the other hand wasnt happy at all anymore, she always had a dark look in her eyes, like she had died inside. She then started getting the headaches. A few weeks later a ct scans shows a tumor has grown on her forntal lobe. It was unoperatable (like she could handle another operation anyways) so they gave her 10 rounds of radiation, chemo was out of the question she was already so thin and weak. After the radiation didnt work they sent her home an Hospice came in. Mom was bed bound even b4 coming out of the hospital. She held on for a few more months until November 3rd 2008. She fought an gave the cancer one h*ll of a black eye in those short 9 months.

I miss her so much, its so hard. I dont want November to come. Each day it gets closer the worse I get. It seems like im reliving it all over again. Does it ever get easier? Im only 24 years old and have a 9 yr old son an a 2 yr old daughter and a great husband that I need to be strong for but I cant.. It hurts sooo bad.

Comments

  • sierrareef
    sierrareef Member Posts: 13
    #2
    Hi - I'm new to this site and was touched by your pain. I lost
    my wife 2 weeks ago - she was 55. We had only been together for 11 years but they were remarkable years. I have a son from a previous marriage who lives out of state and she has 3 children living in town with us, 2 boys and a girl. She and her daughter were very close - her daughter relied on her on an almost daily basis. She's married and has 2 young girls to raise. I think I'll tell her about this site - she might want to do some sharing. I wanted you to know that I had read your words and felt your pain so I thought I'd just post this quick reply.
  • membermeg
    membermeg Member Posts: 25
    #3
    I am very sorry
    I have been on this site a couple days and I work at a hospital and this site is one of the ones they ok Thank God!! I just lost my mom to a 20 year battle to breast cancer. No matter how long the fight the hurt of losing a loved one is almost overpowering. She died July 26 and she was the most influential person in my life. I miss her so much and I see myself being right were you are in a year. So, unfortunately I have no words or wisdom for I am not there yet, but I know it hurts like H#ll and so far has only gotton worse. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and losing a mom so young is one of the worst feelings there are. I hope you are coping ok and if you need to talk I am more than willing to stay in contact. Kelli

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