a story only you ladies can appreciate... how people just don't think...

e_hope
e_hope Member Posts: 370
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I was at work today.. and for the first time at work I went with no scarf or wig on. I was waiting by the elevator with my fuzzy head.. (its starting to grow back) and a fellow co-worker who is very aware of the situation says to me.....

"Oh I love your new hair cut".. okay maybe its me.. I would never say that to someone who just went through chemo... I just stared at her... kind of dumb founded...

and...

My supervisor.. seemed bothered that I didn't have a wrap on my head...
She said to me... oh where is your wrap.. and I know that doesn't sound weird when you write it... but the tone of her voice, made me feel like she thought I should keep my head covered at work... My response to her was.. well I haven't worn scarfs in a while except to come here ... and quite frankly it's to hot in here.. I thought the last time I work I was going to pass out from the hot flashes and the heat in the building...

Oh well... like I said ... some people just don't think..

Comments

  • lovelylola
    lovelylola Member Posts: 279
    #2
    Why is it that some people
    Why is it that some people can't think of anything to say without putting their feet (yes I meant both feet) in their mouths. It's always those times that I wish that I had a pat answer to come up with. Can always remember one after the moment. I wonder how she would like to work with a hat on all day. Bald and fuzzy is beautiful!! And now I'll step down from my soapbox. Lola
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #3
    lovelylola said:

    Why is it that some people
    Why is it that some people can't think of anything to say without putting their feet (yes I meant both feet) in their mouths. It's always those times that I wish that I had a pat answer to come up with. Can always remember one after the moment. I wonder how she would like to work with a hat on all day. Bald and fuzzy is beautiful!! And now I'll step down from my soapbox. Lola

    Thats amazing because people
    Thats amazing because people are always critiqueing my hair!!! it has grown back real curly and i keep it short, and some times i don't have the time or energy to fix it. And someone will say, "i liked your hair las time you got it cut, or it doen't look as good today". Maybe, i am just self conscious about it.
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #4
    My response...
    I would have looked at her and said "thank you. I took your advice and used your hair dresser (or stylist, etc)" and walk away. This will leave them wondering....♥Pammy
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #5
    Akiss4me said:

    My response...
    I would have looked at her and said "thank you. I took your advice and used your hair dresser (or stylist, etc)" and walk away. This will leave them wondering....♥Pammy

    I usually say
    I usually say "thank you for your complement" or "I like it this way"
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #6
    New Flower said:

    I usually say
    I usually say "thank you for your complement" or "I like it this way"

    I usually just look at them
    I usually just look at them and then turn away, say nothing. It gets them everytime.
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #7
    survivorbc09 said:

    I usually just look at them
    I usually just look at them and then turn away, say nothing. It gets them everytime.

    E-Hope she probably thought
    E-Hope she probably thought it was a compliment to "make you feel better". I pray she wasnt being sarcastic! I dont want to get on my bandwagon--so I'll just say it isnt anyone's business what your hair looks like, long, short, bald or in between!

    I find myself being more sensitive to comments since all this cancer stuff started. I guess people mean well, but I truly wish they would keep their comments and opinions to themselves. We are dealing with enough right now.
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #8
    natly15 said:

    E-Hope she probably thought
    E-Hope she probably thought it was a compliment to "make you feel better". I pray she wasnt being sarcastic! I dont want to get on my bandwagon--so I'll just say it isnt anyone's business what your hair looks like, long, short, bald or in between!

    I find myself being more sensitive to comments since all this cancer stuff started. I guess people mean well, but I truly wish they would keep their comments and opinions to themselves. We are dealing with enough right now.

    E-Hope ..
    People who do not live with the side efforts of hair loss during chemo are uncomfortable I find when our heads are not covered. I found this to be true. My sister works for Mercury Insurance Company out in Brea, California and a co worker, Liz is fighting cervical cancer, this summer she came in 1 day natural, 'bald'. Many co-workers found a it necessary to comment, while others just let her be. Office size of 70 men and women. My sister Anne let Liz alone as she was informed via my educating her on my breast cancer, and side efforts, which included hair loss.

    Why people find it necessary to comment is beyond me .. "Let it be", no one in your office will contact "the chemo chick" fuzzy hair from working, talking or spending time with you. Insenstive fools - I say. If it continues, then I would take the high road and ask them to keep their comments to themself, as you are fighting breast cancer with multiple side efforts and there is no room in your recovery plan for negativity.

    Stength, Courage and Love - EHOPE.


    VickiSam
  • brenda247
    brenda247 Member Posts: 124
    #9
    nope some dont think..
    you are so right some people dont think what they say or before they say it.. i have delt with that too!! PEOPLE ARE JUST SELF CENTERED AND DONT CARE!! pretty rotten on their part!!
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #10
    I truly believe that a lot
    I truly believe that a lot of people are simply uncomfortable and don't know what to say. Hence, the reason they just blurt out something. I also think that we are sensitive to the fact that we have lost our hair and when it starts coming back in it's another change for us once we decide to go out sans our wig, scarf, etc. With all the crap we have to endure during chemo and radiation, this is but another step through the process. We are all survivors and we will get through this, insensitive and stupid comments and all!!!
  • Taina
    Taina Member Posts: 166
    #11
    i feel your pain
    some people don't think before making a comment...
    same thing happend to me...
    my hair starting to grow so i don't wear my scarfs....
    new comment at work.... are you going to keep your hair short???
    and my thinking is "my hair is not all grown yet how can i make a decision
    if i wanted short or long"..........
    i just pray will grow back fast...

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