arrangements

pattynonews
pattynonews Member Posts: 176
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
well we had to make the arrangement for Jack, I got to see him one more time and kiss his forehead, I love him and miss him so much I am so lonely and in the middle of all of us grieving I had to deal with wife /ex wife, I never got a chance to file the papers so she made a scene and called the funeral home and wanted to claim his body, now she does not have a penny , we had to pay her $500 for her to agree to sign Jack body over to us how sad is that, I lost the love of my life and now I have to pay her what is wrong with people, I just wanted peace in all of this, I can concentrate on anything, I try to read and all the words run into each other and i cant keep interested in TV, It is 6:00 and Im ready to get in bed, but I have his dad so I cant leave him alone, I keep waiting for Jack to walk in the door and say hey baby im home, i missed you and love you, then loneliness is the worst

Comments

  • MichelleP
    MichelleP Member Posts: 254
    #2
    My husband passed 3 weeks
    My husband passed 3 weeks ago and I too had to deal with his adult children and an ex wife calling the mortuary and making demands. The very same day my husband of 20 years passed away they were trying to access bank accts also. I KNOW how you feel Patty!

    I too am having trouble sleeping. I wander through the house at all hours of the night and every single thing I look at reminds me of him. It's sheer torture for both of us!

    My doctor sent a request in for me to have one on one council and I think I'll call tomorrow and make an appt....I don't know what else to do? I tried the grief council with hospice but it was more like a social gathering than grieving. These people had loved ones that passed years ago and here I was with someone who just passed days ago.

    I can't give you advice on how to deal with all of this because I'm going through it myself right now, but I can tell you that you AREN'T ALONE dear one. I'll say a special prayer for both you and Jack tonight.
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #3
    Horrified
    I am absolutely horrified by your post and that of Michelle. How cruel people can be. How children and ex's can act like that is just awful. I am so sorry they are making this difficult time more difficult. If possible, be the bigger person and simply ignore their stupidity and after the funeral, forget they exist. Don't allow them to set foot in your home. If necessary, get someone from your family to be the go-between so they can't come near you. You have my condolences.
  • newbride
    newbride Member Posts: 142
    #4
    geotina said:

    Horrified
    I am absolutely horrified by your post and that of Michelle. How cruel people can be. How children and ex's can act like that is just awful. I am so sorry they are making this difficult time more difficult. If possible, be the bigger person and simply ignore their stupidity and after the funeral, forget they exist. Don't allow them to set foot in your home. If necessary, get someone from your family to be the go-between so they can't come near you. You have my condolences.

    Loud and Clear
    I hear ya loud and clear - my husband's ex all of a sudden feels she needs to be in touch with him -- hello YOU left him remember??? UGH....she needs to "know what he looks like so she can prepare his kids" -- hello - his kids have been here at least once a week since his diagnosis and are 16 and 17. And if he doesn't return her call (because he is sleeping or ignoreing the phone) calls ME to find out if I am not telling them everything -- UGH - get out of my life lady
  • slickwilly
    slickwilly Member Posts: 334 Member
    #5
    newbride said:

    Loud and Clear
    I hear ya loud and clear - my husband's ex all of a sudden feels she needs to be in touch with him -- hello YOU left him remember??? UGH....she needs to "know what he looks like so she can prepare his kids" -- hello - his kids have been here at least once a week since his diagnosis and are 16 and 17. And if he doesn't return her call (because he is sleeping or ignoreing the phone) calls ME to find out if I am not telling them everything -- UGH - get out of my life lady

    I am sorry
    Patty. I am so sorry for your loss. I know that jack had your love and devotion and in the end that is what matters. It seems there is an amazing amount of idiots that want to step up and put their two cents in after someone passes. People that didn't have the time or use one ounce of energy to help. People that could not even make a simple phone call. We have our memories and they can never take them away. You had Jack's love and they can never take that away. You will always remember the good times and the love you shared. Don't ever second guess yourself as a caregiver because you were awesome. Blessings Slickwilly
  • pattynonews
    pattynonews Member Posts: 176
    #6
    slickwilly said:

    I am sorry
    Patty. I am so sorry for your loss. I know that jack had your love and devotion and in the end that is what matters. It seems there is an amazing amount of idiots that want to step up and put their two cents in after someone passes. People that didn't have the time or use one ounce of energy to help. People that could not even make a simple phone call. We have our memories and they can never take them away. You had Jack's love and they can never take that away. You will always remember the good times and the love you shared. Don't ever second guess yourself as a caregiver because you were awesome. Blessings Slickwilly

    Thank you, it is just so
    Thank you, it is just so hard without him and on top of it I am so upset that we have to actually pay her $500 , That insurance money was so I can get by for a while, how selfish she kicked him out, but the minute she spends a dime of that money Karma will take over, I think I have decided to go back to work I know it seems soon but it hard to do nothing and I start thinking, And I have to concern I have no health no insurance, I have to think about that, I hope Im making the right decision, I know Jack would want me to go on he knew I loved my job,but I am Jack dad caretaker I dont know how I got totally reponsibily for him but I did promise Jack I would look after him and take care of him. So I feel like i am in the same boat,
  • pipwe1
    pipwe1 Member Posts: 53
    #7
    pattynonews said:

    Thank you, it is just so
    Thank you, it is just so hard without him and on top of it I am so upset that we have to actually pay her $500 , That insurance money was so I can get by for a while, how selfish she kicked him out, but the minute she spends a dime of that money Karma will take over, I think I have decided to go back to work I know it seems soon but it hard to do nothing and I start thinking, And I have to concern I have no health no insurance, I have to think about that, I hope Im making the right decision, I know Jack would want me to go on he knew I loved my job,but I am Jack dad caretaker I dont know how I got totally reponsibily for him but I did promise Jack I would look after him and take care of him. So I feel like i am in the same boat,

    Patty
    I havent been on for awhile so I only just found out about Jack... my thoughts and prayers are with you
    Wendy

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