Chemo Chicks -- Vent away .. What has changed since starting our chemo treatments

VickiSam
VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
First of all, let me say that all of us chemo chicks are a little tired and fed up with all of these stupid a?? side efforts .. Is it too much to ask or want for a normal day without any rashes, bumps, driping eyes, swollen ankles or body aches??? I mean .. we are BALD and fatigued - what more can we endure without giving any more of ourselves ??


Myself:

personalities - I am call Cybil (I blame horomes & hot flashes)

stamina -- I am now, weak Vicki (9 weeks of straight chemo will do this to any woman)

excellent cook -- now nothing I cook comes out right, because I can taste the food during preparation. Chemo chicks .. Vicki Sam has mad culinary skills - not to mention all the time and $$ I've spent in school.

Long intense conversations gone by the way side -- Chemo brain and lack of sleep -- are to blame here for me

Once graceful and put together -- I am into comfort, sweats, and no make up -- this is not a pretty sight combined with my bald head. Just again, another chemo side effort.

My ageless skin is now dry and peeling -- My skin has changed .. Yike, I had to go and purchase new products to keep my face from cracking and peeling. My neck, and chest are breaking out from all the moisturing products.

Nice nails -- now brittle and peeling -- vitaim E oil helps me, did I mention my stained sheets, furniture and clothing?

Going out to lunch and shopping was a favorite pass time -- now I'm shopping on line, and I've lost 17 lbs on chemo -- I am enjoying the weight loss, but not being out in the public shopping ?? what's going to happen to our economy ?

All my favorite foods have been replaced by soups, crackers and yogurt and boost.

Now, I am suffering from eye twitches, tearing (all day) and my left ankle is swollen - 4 times in size due to taxotere. Go figure ..

Now for the great part of chemo ..

I am half way thru my treatments .. Tuesday I start TCH again, with a neulasta shot on Wednesday .. cycle #4 of 6 -- and I KNOW for a FACT, that I can finish chemo.

I could not make this statement 4 weeks ago. I am strong, I will do anything to finish my chemo treatments even if I have to crawl my way to the finish line.


Vicki Sam

Comments

  • pitt
    pitt Member Posts: 387
    #2
    I'm just tired of not being
    I'm just tired of not being in control of my own body. I was a workout machine! I loved my time in the pool and the weight room. I loved tanning at the beach with a good book. I loved eating anything I wanted. I loved being positive. I loved me!

    Now, my body is tired and achey. I have pimples on my bald head (medicine cream now working). My mouth tastes like metal. I'm sleepy and exhausted but can't sleep. I get nauseous at the blink of an eye. I get sores in my throat. I have to be afraid of the smallest of germs...

    BUT...I am approaching my third treatment and after that only one more. I'm going to finish chemo and then focus on the holidays and getting my body back! Radiation - I'll tackle that when I get to it. And I'm going to start planning the best ever post-treatment "Life is Good" party for my family and friends that has ever been thrown...by me! (I'm also going to focus on smaller expectations and not sweating the little stuff.)

    Pitt
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #3
    pitt said:

    I'm just tired of not being
    I'm just tired of not being in control of my own body. I was a workout machine! I loved my time in the pool and the weight room. I loved tanning at the beach with a good book. I loved eating anything I wanted. I loved being positive. I loved me!

    Now, my body is tired and achey. I have pimples on my bald head (medicine cream now working). My mouth tastes like metal. I'm sleepy and exhausted but can't sleep. I get nauseous at the blink of an eye. I get sores in my throat. I have to be afraid of the smallest of germs...

    BUT...I am approaching my third treatment and after that only one more. I'm going to finish chemo and then focus on the holidays and getting my body back! Radiation - I'll tackle that when I get to it. And I'm going to start planning the best ever post-treatment "Life is Good" party for my family and friends that has ever been thrown...by me! (I'm also going to focus on smaller expectations and not sweating the little stuff.)

    Pitt

    It sucks........
    All of it......the bc cancer, the treatments, ALL of it....but we do it...we CAN do it...even on days when we think "I've had enough of this." My heart goes out to both of you and all who are enduring this.....But believe it or not, it's a cliche, but you will do it....and when you're finished, keep your eye on the finish line, you'll be so very proud of yourselves and on your way to reclaiming your good health........Hang on girls.....
    Peace be with you
  • terpsi
    terpsi Member Posts: 33
    #4
    chemo chicks--venting: what's changed
    then: irritatingly energetic
    now: always tired, ready to fall asleep as soon as I stop moving :)

    then: choreographed, danced, twirled and balanced as long as the day was long
    now: dance ten minutes at the most now, sans turns, jumps, leaps; balance has left the stage

    then: walked fast enough, for a short girl :), that people would say, hey slow down
    now: amble along with my walker, on rough days, unstable enough to fall over

    then: stretching and twisting to my heart's delight
    now: having to wear a TLSO brace forever and to roll like a log in bed when I'm out of brace

    then: experimenting with cooking, trying new things
    now: avoiding any cooking that is complex because I can't taste anything and because I run out of oomph halfway through cooking if it requires chopping any more than a clove of garlic, changing pots, using the oven--and, forget about cleaning up as I go . . .

    then: spontaneously going out at night to a club or wine bar
    now: at night? I can barely stay awake after 7:00 pm

    then: having fun dressing up (not into designer stuff but my own style)
    now: still figuring out how to dress up while wearing this brace

    then: making love spontaneously
    now: planning . . . planning . . . planning . . .

    then: thinking I would be dancing till I was 90+
    now: fighting to be the statistic highest outside the norm for survival for advanced (metastatic) BC

    Love and hugs,
    donna peach
  • Cat64
    Cat64 Member Posts: 1,192
    #5
    Vicki & Other Chemo Chicks
    Thanks Vicki for encouraging us to vent! :-)
    I'm tired of being tired & tired of not being able to sleep
    I've lost my ability to do my job accurately(requiring alot of thinking & working with #'s)
    I now LOOK like I have an illness
    I'm NOT appreciating my new hair style much
    Tired of the teary/crusty eyes/drippy or dry nose
    Aching & throbbing of hands,knees,& feet
    Sores on corners of my mouth making it difficult to eat
    Dry mouth/loss of taste/smells making me nauseated
    Tired of taking pills
    Drinking so much water I feel like I would float in water from all the weight of the bloating
    More Bathroom time
    Skin peeling on my hands
    No energy what-so-ever
    Being stuck in the house
    Good news:
    My birthday is soon & we have a family dinner planned at a place I've been wanting to go to-Al Capone's-Italian Buffet with a show-yum! I intend to at least have "1" strawberry daquiri! :-)
    See the surgeon the same day to see if I'm ready for surgery or have to do more chemo
    My beast has shrunk!
    My 8 day "feel like crap time" has passed & I'm staring to feel human again!
    I'm getting closer to the finish line too!
    Ok-Where's the rest of you Chemo Chicks?
    Cathy
  • always
    always Member Posts: 256
    #6
    Cat64 said:

    Vicki & Other Chemo Chicks
    Thanks Vicki for encouraging us to vent! :-)
    I'm tired of being tired & tired of not being able to sleep
    I've lost my ability to do my job accurately(requiring alot of thinking & working with #'s)
    I now LOOK like I have an illness
    I'm NOT appreciating my new hair style much
    Tired of the teary/crusty eyes/drippy or dry nose
    Aching & throbbing of hands,knees,& feet
    Sores on corners of my mouth making it difficult to eat
    Dry mouth/loss of taste/smells making me nauseated
    Tired of taking pills
    Drinking so much water I feel like I would float in water from all the weight of the bloating
    More Bathroom time
    Skin peeling on my hands
    No energy what-so-ever
    Being stuck in the house
    Good news:
    My birthday is soon & we have a family dinner planned at a place I've been wanting to go to-Al Capone's-Italian Buffet with a show-yum! I intend to at least have "1" strawberry daquiri! :-)
    See the surgeon the same day to see if I'm ready for surgery or have to do more chemo
    My beast has shrunk!
    My 8 day "feel like crap time" has passed & I'm staring to feel human again!
    I'm getting closer to the finish line too!
    Ok-Where's the rest of you Chemo Chicks?
    Cathy

    Hi everyone
    I am so tired I want to curl up and cry at work. I have made it three days straight now. Used to leave the house before 6 and get home at 6. I could make dinner, go to the store, spend time with my kids and grandson, watch a movie with the hubby. Now I am trying to be organized to not have to cook. Force myself to eat. Everything is starting to taste the same. My stomach hurts if I don't eat and hurts differently if I do...no win win there. I have no energy. My head itches, but I don't want to touch it and speed up the ineviditable lose of hair. I look old and tired. It is hard to gear up. I will. We all will. But it is nice that you thought to allow us to admit...we hate this. It is hard and no fun. My thoughts and prayers will be with all of you chemo chicks always Becky
  • laurissa
    laurissa Member Posts: 773
    #7
    I hate being bald most of
    I hate being bald most of all and not tasting anything anymore, though my appetite is still strong as ever. My side effects the week after chemo is not as bad as the first time, but I still get stomach and leg aches. I really don't have much to complain about, my nails are still in good condition, I have no mouth sores, I'm not that tired, I'm still able to work. I am happy to report this chemo poison does work. Doctor says he no longer feels my 2 lumps, which were egg size just 6 weeks ago. I guess I'll have to put up with an itchy wig-head for that.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #8
    Vent away....Heaven knows I did!!!!
    I HATED everything about it...

    But then, after it was over, little by little, I started feeling better. I took real good care of myself, took recovery as slowly as I could with 2 special needs kids and a business to take care of...

    I have kept my hair short, and the new color (dark brown with silver streaks) is the envy of my hair salon (they all think it's dyed...ROFL)

    I still have moments when I am reminded of my journey. And I am still lactose intollerant. But, well, considering what COULD have happened...

    I know it sounds crazy, but, hang in there it DOES get better!!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #9
    laurissa said:

    I hate being bald most of
    I hate being bald most of all and not tasting anything anymore, though my appetite is still strong as ever. My side effects the week after chemo is not as bad as the first time, but I still get stomach and leg aches. I really don't have much to complain about, my nails are still in good condition, I have no mouth sores, I'm not that tired, I'm still able to work. I am happy to report this chemo poison does work. Doctor says he no longer feels my 2 lumps, which were egg size just 6 weeks ago. I guess I'll have to put up with an itchy wig-head for that.

    No hairstyle-- I’m
    No hairstyle-- I’m bald
    Face is pale with acid skin, my arms have never been so dry
    Bad taste that doesn’t go away, heartburn, nausea, hungry but no appetite does that make sense?
    Less patience and more irritable
    After going thru all this grueling treatment, I sure hope I at least lose some weight because I can no longer tolerate many of the foods which put the weight on..
    No energy. I worked full time prior to this, now I’m lucky if I muster the energy for a daily shower, and preparation of a meal
    I smell of chemo

    I’ve learned more about BC than I ever wanted to know
    I’m learning that my body and my white blood cells can and do rebound after chemo
    My sense of humor is still intact.
    I walk around the house bald and without makeup, and don’t care if you see me like that. I’m more than my hair and makeup.
    I don’t always answer the phone when it rings.
    I tell people what I do and don’t want to hear.
    I’ve learned to be bold enough to ask when I need something.
    I’m learning to be a be-er and less of a do-er. Amazing
    I’ve learned to sit in front of the TV, read a book, or just vegg with no guilt attached.
    I’ve found a support system here with so many knowledgeable, caring people who have either walked or are walking the same walk.
    I’ve always been very sociable, verbal, and so wordy at times, but it doesn’t matter because I’ve been encouraged to be who and what I am.
    I’ve been a survivor all my life, and will continue to survive, even on my down days.
    If I forget any of this, please remind me when I’m close to quitting , or really down.

    This cancer treatment is like a box of chocolates, you just never know what your gonna get. Every day different and unpredictable. I'm trying to go with the flow,.

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