looking at disabilty retirement

Hey Mike
I've been at this for 5 years now. I've been on and off disability. I was off for a year when first diagnosed (2004/05), colon surgery then liver surgery then 6 mo. chemo. I was off for 6 months when I had a recurrence in 2007. And now I am off again. I find it very helpful to be off work and focused on healing and find I don't have a lot of energy or passion for my work, much as I love it, while on chemo, radiation, etc. Luckily I also have an excellent disability plan.

Our work is a huge part of our identity and it is very hard to let it go. I miss it and hope to go back some day, but who knows!

I hope you make the transition well.

Thinking of you... Rob; in Vancouver

disability
Thanks for sharing that Mike. There are always many questions surrounding the different disability issues. Your experience can help.

luv3jay said:

Mike, I'm glad you have made
Mike, I'm glad you have made the decision to stop working and fight this thing full time! My doctor, family and friends have been trying to push me in that direction and I must say that working fulltime and trying to fight this disease is overwhelming. To add to that, I am a single parent (divorced one month before dx!), so it's really overwhelming to me. And co-workers claim to understand, but they really don't if they haven't been in our shoes or had someone close to them go through this. When you are at work, they expect 110%, no matter how fatigued, nauseated or depressed you may be. Whew! It's exhausting! And I can see the irritation in my supervisors eyes when I have to go out on short term disability for each surgery...even though he's been pretty great about things. I wish I had the guts to do what you are doing...but right now, I feel the need to keep pressing. Good luck to you and be blessed! I'm praying for you.

cancer and work
Dear Mike,

When I was first diagnosed about two years ago, I didn't go on leave because I wanted to keep my life as normal as possible. In looking back, I see now that part of my motivation was also competitive -- if other people could continue to work through surgery and chemo, I certainly could too. I had also been so career identified for so long that I couldn't imagine how I could live well without continuing to pursue my career. One of the effects of chemo for me, though, was severe cognitive problems, sometimes called "chemo brain" but a more accurate name for my experiences would be "temporary chemo-induced dementia." The memory holes, inability to organize complex thoughts, and lack of spontaneous and creative thinking severely compromised my ability to perform my job (I'm and academic), and my reputation suffered (especially because I didn't want most of my students and colleagues to know I had cancer or was having treatments).

Funny how things change. The cognitive problems led to a crisis, and I went on temporary leave. I realized then that being very open about my cancer and treatments made my life much easier, and I also realized that in order to live well with cancer I would need to reevaluate where the real strengths and pleasures in my life are. To my surprise, I didn't miss work much. I found that I was able to channel that work-related energy into other creative projects and that I needed the time off to take care of my health and to be with my partner and my friends. I did go back to work, but when I had a recurrence early this year I went on short-term leave even before I began treatments. That short-term leave has become long-term, and with another recurrence in August and ongoing problems I do not expect to return to work. That would have seemed unimaginable to me two years ago, but it feels just right to me now.

Two years ago, when I asked my surgeon whether I would need to go on leave from work she gave me two pieces of advice: 1) "Having cancer is a full-time job"; 2) "Do whatever is most wholesome for you."

Great advice! I have learned to follow it.

My best wishes to you.

John

Hard decision
Mike,

I haven't been in that position, but I imagine it would be such a hard decision. I applaud you for doing what is right for your health. I'm sure that if you go through mixed emotions, you will find the support you need here. I'll be praying for peace of mind for you on this one.

*hugs*
Gail