Husband dx yesterday

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Comments

  • shrevebud
    shrevebud Member Posts: 105
    #22
    Hi TLG
    Hi there:

    I am 49 with stage IV - was diagnosed almost three years ago. I'm still living life, still working full-time, doing what I can whenever I have the energy. There will be good days/bad days and sometimes good weeks and bad weeks. I had a bad week last week. It can be a journey with a lot of ups and downs but you just have to hang in there and try not get overwhelmed with bad news, lab results, scan results, etc. Just take it one step at a time. I found that trying to keep my routine as similar as before diagnosis helped me mentally deal with the unexpected, etc. There are a lot of good people on this forum with good advice and lots of support and encouragement. I'll keep you and your husband in my prayers. Take care. Roy
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #23
    Scary, but it'll be okay
    Hi! I'm sorry about your husband's diagnosis. I know it's a scary time, but you WILL get through it. I was diagnosed in Nov. almost 2 years ago, and I understand the emotions it can bring. Just believe this-life will be different from now on, but it will also be very, very good. The two of you WILL get to travel, play, work, be with family, all the things you like to do now.

    Please come here often and get help and comfort from a great group.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    #24
    encouragement
    Dear "Scared Wife",

    Many people have given lots of information already, so I don't really have any info to add to that. I will, however, offer my support and prayers. I know how scary this can be. I was diagnosed 2-1/2 yrs ago as stage IV w/ mets to liver and lungs when I had just turned 41.
    I've been hanging in there & still function as a busy mom of three kids.
    There is hope and this doesn't mean it's a death sentence.
    If you have a faith in Jesus, then know that I share that faith and will be praying not only for good physical health in the near future, but strong emotional/mental/spiritual health and strength during all this.

    Hugs,
    Lisa
  • thready
    thready Member Posts: 474
    #25
    lisa42 said:

    encouragement
    Dear "Scared Wife",

    Many people have given lots of information already, so I don't really have any info to add to that. I will, however, offer my support and prayers. I know how scary this can be. I was diagnosed 2-1/2 yrs ago as stage IV w/ mets to liver and lungs when I had just turned 41.
    I've been hanging in there & still function as a busy mom of three kids.
    There is hope and this doesn't mean it's a death sentence.
    If you have a faith in Jesus, then know that I share that faith and will be praying not only for good physical health in the near future, but strong emotional/mental/spiritual health and strength during all this.

    Hugs,
    Lisa

    Glad you are here
    Diane,
    It is a good thing that you are here. You will get a lot of incouragement and a lot of really good advice. I am sort of a newbie. I just started chemo today, it went better than I expected.

    I have received info from Diane about ways that I can help my self, from others who, when I questioned the need to have chemo (I'm a IIIB), suggested I wake up and realise this is my chance for survival. (I did hear from others who were a bit more colorful, but they made their point) I am very grateful that so many here were willing to speak to me and at me this helped.

    Best wishes. I am learning and would be willing to share how my chemo and what they are doing for me etc. The other stuff-well I am learning.
    Jan
  • jen58
    jen58 Member Posts: 34
    #26
    hey all
    My hubby was dx on 9/15/09 (age 43) -- he had 2 tumors, one in ascending and one at splenic flexture... we had to wait a month to get surgery, but he had his surgery on 10/18 -- he had a total colectomy with ileorectal anastomosis and all his lymph nodes were removed for his colon.

    his ascending tumor was as big as an orange, but my hubby never had any symptoms, he went in for routine screening, because both his father and brother had/died from CC... My hubby has HNPCC (lynch syndrome) and also has signet ring cell.

    he was in hospital for 8 days, tho day 1 was just prep, and he is doing GREAT!!! he is already almost back to his normal self and he isn't having any bathroom issues that are associate with his kind of surgery.

    We are still awaiting pathology, which will probably be getting next friday during our appt with onc...but we are expecting IIIB or C based on the fact that the surgeon said that there was significant lymph node involvement on the 1 tumor -- he'll be doing FOLFOX for 6 months once he's cleared to get started

    the thing that bothers him the most is that he feels great physically and has not had 1 symptom of 'cancer' and it's weird to feel so healthy and yet know that you are not.

    TLG -- i sure hope you are going to a board certified colorectal surgeon, that can make all the difference in the world -- my hubby's surgeon is literally the 'best' surgeon in our area and has been winning awards since the 1990s -- my hubby also had the open surgery and his incision is already fading, after less than 2 weeks!

    best of luck to you and your hubby!
  • TLG320
    TLG320 Member Posts: 167
    #27
    AceSFO said:

    I'm a caregiver also
    Hi - I'm sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. My partner was dx'd 2 years ago with stage 3 as well (age 49). Chip's suggestions are good ones. We started a notebook right away where we keep track of questions we want to ask, the answers we receive, notes about each visit and procedure and a list of medications. We also picked up business cards from each doctor or nurse that we met with and keep those in the notebook as well. I recently started my own notebook and keep a list of current medications in the front. It comes in really handy if you have to go to the ER or urgent care where they'll need that information.

    There's a really great book I'd recommend called The Power of Two: Surviving a Serious Illness with an Attitude and an Advocate, by Gerri and Brian Monaghan. First off, it's a great story (even funny in places) and it's full of really useful tips for caregivers. I think it's about $15 on Amazon.

    Take care of yourself through this as well -

    wishing you tenacity and courage,
    Adrian

    Thanks Adrian!
    I'm going to look for the book. I appreciate your tips! You all will no doubt be hearing a lot from me in the coming weeks. You are all in my prayers!
    Tashina
  • pf78248
    pf78248 Member Posts: 209
    #28
    Hi TLG
    I, too, am the wife of a colon cancer survivor, stage 3C in 2008, now stage 4. This is a great sight for information and support. You've been given lots of advice and now there is so much information to digest. It's almost overwhelming. As you have questions, post them and there are so many who will give you advice.

    My only other suggestion for now is to order from either the American Cancer Society direct, or Amazon, or in a big bookstore, the American Cancer Society Guide to Colorectal Cancer and also their book on caregiving. Very good information and a good reference book as you make your way through this new language you'll be learning.

    Best of luck to your hubby. He's going to need lots of love and support and I know you will be there for him. But do take time for yourself, too. Life changes after cancer and you can find it can make you even closer.

    Hugs to you and all the other newly diagnosed cancer families.
    Priscilla
  • Julie 44
    Julie 44 Member Posts: 476 Member
    #29
    pf78248 said:

    Hi TLG
    I, too, am the wife of a colon cancer survivor, stage 3C in 2008, now stage 4. This is a great sight for information and support. You've been given lots of advice and now there is so much information to digest. It's almost overwhelming. As you have questions, post them and there are so many who will give you advice.

    My only other suggestion for now is to order from either the American Cancer Society direct, or Amazon, or in a big bookstore, the American Cancer Society Guide to Colorectal Cancer and also their book on caregiving. Very good information and a good reference book as you make your way through this new language you'll be learning.

    Best of luck to your hubby. He's going to need lots of love and support and I know you will be there for him. But do take time for yourself, too. Life changes after cancer and you can find it can make you even closer.

    Hugs to you and all the other newly diagnosed cancer families.
    Priscilla

    Hey there
    First I want to welcome you both here.We are a greatbunch of people with so much experience and love to share.We have all been there and done that in some form or another....
    Once things start to sink in you won't feel like a deer caught in head lights...Yes it is scarey for both of you.
    Being the caregiver is just as hard and emotional as being the one to have it...Try to talk it all over with each.Go over everything doctors,appts,meds,surgery everything and if it doesn't all feel right to you I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND A SECOND OPINION. It has given me a great peice of mind to know what the docs at Sloane Kittering Memerial Cancer Center in NYC said they would do the exact treatment that my doc had planned for me.So right there I knew things were getting better.
    Hang it there I won't lie it is very hard emotionaly and physically but we all came through and are here to shaere what we have learned...So Good luck Get that second opinion to stop the what ifs then move on from there.
    One day at a time sometimes its one minuet at a time but you find you will get through it...Ask questions like crazy because knowledge is power..Good feel free to ipm me if you wish.I will help you out whenever I can and if I can't I am sure we can find someone who can.Best of luck..
    Keep the communications line open with Hubby it helps....JULIE

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