Hello to all my dear sisters in Pink

rjjj
rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
It has been awhile, I have commented on some posts and still look for my dear sisters here, I just want to welcome all of my new sisters and wish them all the best, hope all my "old sis's" are doing OK.

We get through all of this and somehow it does not go away...make it go away I say, but no one listens, I am having a hard time getting past all of this, at first I was just worried about making it through chemo, then radiation, then my hair growing back, now, missing my left breast terribly... and wondering where this depression is coming from, It takes time HUH?? girls? I just hope you all know you all are always in my prayers and Please pray for me. I love you Jackie

Comments

  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #2
    Love right back atcha,
    Love right back atcha, Jackie!
    ♥♥♥You Are Beautiful♥♥♥
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #3
    Jackie my prayers are with
    Jackie my prayers are with you. As I was reading your words, the first thought that came to mind, is 'WOW" she got thru it. Our bodies and psyches have been traumatized. This is no cake walk. I completed my 2nd chemo yesterday, and believe it, your words have encouraged me. You are allowed to be depressed, you havent been drinking cough syrup, you didnt go to a fancy salon to have your head buzzed just because it's fashionable, having a breast removed is not natural in the natural scheme of things, who wants to get burned? Hey girl you are a warrior and a true survivor. We knewbies need to know about your walk with BC, it helps encourage us to walk our walk. God Bless You.
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #4
    Jackie what you describe I
    Jackie what you describe I have found to be normal, you have been through so very much and all the treatment was not that long ago. Now that treatment is over you have time to distress over the loss of your breast which is indeed a loss that can in itself cause one to be depressed. It takes time Jackie, but please believe me when I say it will get better. The farther you get from treatment the calmer you will feel and the more normal your days will become. You can have reconstruction which for me has been a real positive thing, it gave me back some of what I have lost. It took me 2 years to make the decision to have recon because I was tired of surgeries and treatments and I needed time away from doctors, you too may find that you want to wait as well. Please talk to you oncologist or your gp if the depression does not pass because as you know they can help you with that. You Jackie are indeed a survivor, a warrior of sorts and a triumphant woman who certainly deserves joy and happiness, please do not let nasty old cancer take from your joy and happiness!

    Hugs and Prayers,

    RE
  • always
    always Member Posts: 256
    #5
    Crying Now
    RE your words made me cry. They are always so eloquent. Filled with truth, hope and insight. I am so sorry Rjjj that you are down. I have read over and over how your feelings are so well in line with what many are going through or will go through. I know it doesn't seem like how you feel right now is an encouragement to those in the beginnings of this walk. But I second Natly's words every bit as much as RE's. We are encouraged to know the road ahead doesn't just come to a brick wall. You are battle fatigued. Take the advise to seek any and all help and support. Do not feel you are alone. You are in many prayers I am certain and will remain in mine.

    always Becky
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #6
    Jackie, so sorry you're
    Jackie, so sorry you're feeling down. I think it's unfortunate but seems to be a part of the walk. Re's advice is always dead on and I think that's because she's been there. It really does help to get the support from the survivors and realize that it can be done and we will be okay. Good luck to you and I'm also sending prayers your way.
  • chickad52
    chickad52 Member Posts: 497
    #7
    JACKIE
    I 'll be finishing my Taxol treatment tomorrow. Will be having Herceptin for a year, Surgery will be next, then radiation , reconstruction etc. It 's no wonder we get depressed. What we are going through, dear Lord help us!! Will we live with fear for the rest of our lives? Or does it get better with time? I hope so!! Hugs to you!! Diane
  • jennytwist
    jennytwist Member Posts: 896
    #8
    Hi Jackie
    I had my surgery in April of this year and am now done with the chemo and have been on tamoxifen for a little over a month. I'm missing my right breast so I can understand that loss. We are all survivors in the battle - it's OK to feel whatever you feel! Some days I'm feeling like, "Wow - I can't believe I did that!" Other days I feel sorry for myself and the anger starts coming back. Mostly I'm trying to be positive - I realize since finding this great site there are so very many of us! It's amazing! I think we all need to be OK with whatever we feel - whenever we are feeling it! As another one mentioned this is not a cake walk - many start chemo and stop - others don't have necessary surgery - it takes alot of courage to get to where we are! You'll make it! Life is good! My eyelashes and eyebrows are coming in - my hair is coming back - gray!!!! There are days when I cry about that (gray hair) - but at least it's coming back! Take care and know we all love you and are here for you, whenever you need us!
    -Jenny
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #9
    You've been through a lot.
    You've been through a lot. It takes time and even then we might have moments. Sending cyber hugs.
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #10
    Awww, Jackie
    I wish I could make it go away. I would for everyone. Seems there has been alot of post on here lately about depression and being down. It's that time of year for those that suffer seaonal depression to start and also, those of us that have been in battle....darn it, we are just plain worn out! We need our "Quick" chocolate milk for energy! (Always loved that quick bunny!). When you start missing your breast, try to think about that really famous warrior sister who cut her breast off so she could do better in battle when she shot her arrows!! Geesh, for the life of me, I can't think of her name, but she did inspire us to do whatever it takes to survive!! I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you start to feel better soon. Hugs and smiles....♥Pammy
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #11
    Akiss4me said:

    Awww, Jackie
    I wish I could make it go away. I would for everyone. Seems there has been alot of post on here lately about depression and being down. It's that time of year for those that suffer seaonal depression to start and also, those of us that have been in battle....darn it, we are just plain worn out! We need our "Quick" chocolate milk for energy! (Always loved that quick bunny!). When you start missing your breast, try to think about that really famous warrior sister who cut her breast off so she could do better in battle when she shot her arrows!! Geesh, for the life of me, I can't think of her name, but she did inspire us to do whatever it takes to survive!! I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you start to feel better soon. Hugs and smiles....♥Pammy

    Sorry
    There is a lot of depression that does go with bc, whether you lose a breast or not. There have been so many posts on here just this week about depression. I wish that it didn't go hand in hand with bc, but, it seems it does. I know for me, it helps to get out, be with friends, have a good time, forget about all that bc has done to me for a little while. And, my husband is not going to let me be miserable for very long. He is determined to always put a smile on my face, and, he does. I know that we will all get past this. It just will take some time.

    I see the bc survivors that have gone thru this twice and more and my heart just aches for them. Yet, they seem to be moving on. I need their secret!

    Hugs, Diane ♥
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #12
    Jackie
    Sometimes I have felt
    Jackie
    Sometimes I have felt like Hercules or Jason in mythology, I gathered my strength and I completed all the tasks that the Gods assigned. Vanquished the beasts, saved the girls, got the golden fleece and now I want my reward. I quess just still being here should be reward enough and on most levels it is. But did Hercules or Jason have all these doubts that the beasts and monsters would come back? Mythology never answered that. I suppose their story was a happily ever after. Well, I want my happily ever after. Don't we all? I don't have any real answers for you except that it does get better. I had more worries and concerns the first time I went through cancer. I know for some that additional cancers and recurrences have caused more concern but for me I know I fought it once and I will do it again and again and again if I have to. I will have ups and downs, but if I focus on savoring the best I have I will not only survive I will thrive. I didn't lose a breast so I cannot relate to that. My heart goes out to you and my prayers are there for you. You have been such a uplifting spirit to us all. We love you right back. And Jackie, these feelings will diminish and yes, it takes time. Sometimes way more time than we feel we can give, but enjoy all the small things in your life and the big ones. Look at your beautiful daughter's face and realize that you are here for her because of all the fighting you did. She alone is worth all the fight, all you have been through. But know too, that what you are feeling is a part of all you have been through. And it is okay to feel sad, mad, worried, even a little depressed. But if any of these become the majority instead of the minority, find help. We are part of that help, but so is your team of doctors. I will indeed prayer for you my friend.
    Stef
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #13
    fauxma said:

    Jackie
    Sometimes I have felt
    Jackie
    Sometimes I have felt like Hercules or Jason in mythology, I gathered my strength and I completed all the tasks that the Gods assigned. Vanquished the beasts, saved the girls, got the golden fleece and now I want my reward. I quess just still being here should be reward enough and on most levels it is. But did Hercules or Jason have all these doubts that the beasts and monsters would come back? Mythology never answered that. I suppose their story was a happily ever after. Well, I want my happily ever after. Don't we all? I don't have any real answers for you except that it does get better. I had more worries and concerns the first time I went through cancer. I know for some that additional cancers and recurrences have caused more concern but for me I know I fought it once and I will do it again and again and again if I have to. I will have ups and downs, but if I focus on savoring the best I have I will not only survive I will thrive. I didn't lose a breast so I cannot relate to that. My heart goes out to you and my prayers are there for you. You have been such a uplifting spirit to us all. We love you right back. And Jackie, these feelings will diminish and yes, it takes time. Sometimes way more time than we feel we can give, but enjoy all the small things in your life and the big ones. Look at your beautiful daughter's face and realize that you are here for her because of all the fighting you did. She alone is worth all the fight, all you have been through. But know too, that what you are feeling is a part of all you have been through. And it is okay to feel sad, mad, worried, even a little depressed. But if any of these become the majority instead of the minority, find help. We are part of that help, but so is your team of doctors. I will indeed prayer for you my friend.
    Stef

    Well said Stef
    ♥Pammy
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #14
    Akiss4me said:

    Well said Stef
    ♥Pammy

    I just re=read my post and I
    I just re=read my post and I can see how it completely applies to my own state of mind right now. And I shall go into Hercules, Jason, or be an Amazin' Amazon woman if I need to regarding the Lynch Syndrome and my family. I have so much to be grateful for in my life. Much, much more than I will ever have regrets over. So gosh, along with all of my family on this site I even have support from myself. LOL
    Stef
    And Pammy, can my doggy go trick or treating with your kitten.
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #15
    fauxma said:

    I just re=read my post and I
    I just re=read my post and I can see how it completely applies to my own state of mind right now. And I shall go into Hercules, Jason, or be an Amazin' Amazon woman if I need to regarding the Lynch Syndrome and my family. I have so much to be grateful for in my life. Much, much more than I will ever have regrets over. So gosh, along with all of my family on this site I even have support from myself. LOL
    Stef
    And Pammy, can my doggy go trick or treating with your kitten.

    ABSOLUTELY!!
    LOL ♥Pammy
  • elm3544
    elm3544 Member Posts: 748
    #16
    Sorry you are feeling this
    Sorry you are feeling this way. From recent posts, it seems many of us have been feeling scared, lonely and/or depressed. I hope this passes quickly for you.

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