Depression & Anxiety six months after diagnosis

Oh, Alessia dear. You are
Oh, Alessia dear. You are absolutely normal. I am so sorry. I call myself the Depression Queen. I ran into the brick wall about six months after my surgery, right as radiation treatment was winding down.

From diagnosis through radiation I was so focused on fighting, taking care of my family, and working that there just wasn't time to process all the awfulness. Ooh, but when I hit the wall, I dented it bad. I looked for help spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and healthwise. I tried yoga, meditation, prayer, healthy diet, counseling, and this site. I tried lots of different medications before I settled on Zoloft and Klonopin (Clonazepam)/Xanax. Like you, I can't take Xanax during the day because it knocks me out, but Klonopin worked OK. I no longer take Klonopin, and only occasionally take Xanax. I still take Zoloft. I also tried Abilify to boost the affect of the Zoloft, but it make me euphoric, which you would think is a good thing...but it was too much of a good thing. It does work for some people, though.

It is now one year since I "broke down," and life is much, much, much, much better and I am once again delighted to be alive.

It is miserable to suffer so. Remember, you are not alone and you CAN conquer this too. xoxoxoxo Lynn

Akiss4me said:

Wow, you just described me!
I think I am about to find out what "PTSD" is because it has been 5 months and I am feeling the same way you describe, just these past couple of days.
I was put into menopause overnight, so this could be the culprit. Then again, I thought it was great that I was sailing through all this treatment too easily, mentally, but figured it couldn't last. I resolved myself into believing I was in "denial" to survive. Now that survival is a reality, I no longer need the denial. Something has to replace it...depression I guess.
I will talk to my Onc when I see her on the 10th of November. Funny, she asked me about my feelings our last visit and I assured her I was OK. I guess they know better. Hope you are able to find a balance and things get better for you. Hugs and smiles. ♥Pammy

We all feel down at times
I think depression comes along with the diagnosis of bc to all of us, whether we want it or not. I don't think any of us can escape it. If you notice, so many of the discussions on this board are all just like yours. So, it is a huge problem with bc. Some use antidepressants, some use anxiety pills, some seek mental help and some of us just try to get thru it the best way that we can. I allow myself to feel down at times, but, not for long. I then grab my Big Girl Panties and pull them up and tell myself that I have already been thru so much with cancer, that I will not allow it to keep me down. So, you are not alone in your feelings. We all feel the same way at one time or another. Please talk to your oncologist about it and hopefully you can get some help.

Hugs to you!

alessia said:

6 months down the line

It's amazing how many of you have had the very same symptoms.
Truly thought I was losing it! My emotions manifest from time
to time verbally, mood swings, just plain down right (confess)
nasty. So unusual for me. When I realize that I'm way overboard
I pull up my courage, switch to positive mode and move forward.
By the way, it takes lots of practice since it's not that easy
to switch moods. Really difficult. All the while, in the back
of my mind there is always that little voice, a quiet presence
that reminds me of...please let me not go there!
Wanted to suggest a very good book that I bought at Amazon.com
Anti Cancer - A new Way Of Life by David Servan-Schreier, MD, PhD
I have been reading about breast cancer and believe me
this was the tops. Highly informative, a new take on the disease -
no, nothing over the top alternative medicine but straight forward,
very well written, scientifically proven info. Take a look.
Hugs to every1, Alessia

Losing it....
Alessia,

You aren't "losing it" you are with us! I was one month short of you for my depression break down. I was right in the middle of radiation laying on the table and crying (not one of my best days). It does get better and I agree with what others have said about how we get so busy dealing with everything we don't take the time at first to deal with our emotions. My life has changed so much in the past five or six months that I can't even remember how I was before diagnosis.

This is a new life and I figure some depression (and sadness, anger, joy, laughing) is just a part of the new me.

Take care and keep posting whenever you feel like it. We are here for you.