MY DAD IS VERY SAD

Patteee said:

Hi Lisa,
I hope this goes
Hi Lisa,
I hope this goes through this time, if not, I have it in a WORD document. I learned my lesson!

I am sorry to hear that your Dad is going through this. Yes of course he is sad and that makes you that much more sad and feeling helpless. I think it is a huge SHOCK to our system(s) when we get the cancer word. Just the unknowns of how life is going to change and to what extent, is overwhelming. Both of you need time, information and doctor input.

I have had a colostomy. Mine was temporary, done due to the emergency nature of my cc surgery (I was obstructed and no time to clean the colon out). There are many of us on this board who have had, or do have, both temporary and permanent, colostomy. It is the reality of a crc diagnosis. My adjustments were not that big of a deal. I had the attitude that some people poop out of the backside, some poop out of the front side  I was able to do everything as before, nobody knew I had a colostomy unless I told them, I ate as before- nothing was any different other than my method of toileting. Truly, it was not that big of a deal.

Let your Dad know that support for the colostomy bag will come even before the surgery. It will be a colostomy nurse that will make the marking on the outside for the surgeon. The hospital colostomy nurses are hands down, the most compassionate, understanding, funny and loving souls that grace this earth. They will work with him as much as he needs it BEFORE he leaves the hospital and will work with him on an outpatient basis. I can’t stress how important this is, it really really really does make a difference.

Finally, let your Dad know you are going to be there for him every step of the way. Knowing the support is there can and does have a calming influence.

Hey Lisa!
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, he sounds like a strong spirit though, and you sound like a wonderful daughter, and it's ok to be sad. Cancer is scary, no one wants it, but people do live with it longer these days, you never know what life brings you. Enjoy the times you have, and remember to just take things day by day, no one knows what tomorrow brings.

I have a temporary colostomy as well, I had it through an emergency procedure as well, my bowels were going into my belly, and the chief surgeon that night, did remove my sigmoid, which had loads of polyps and a tumor on it, and saved my life. Sure, it's not the prettiest thing to look at, but it's just a different way of pooping really, you just do it in a bag, no worries for me anymore about hemorrhoids or stopping to go anywhere with diarrhea, there are some pluses to it!

Actually I do wear big sweatshirts and T-shirts anyway, no one knows I have a bag either unless I tell them, or if I were to wear something too tight, and then you could see the linings of the bag, I don't wear bathing suits anymore, or swim in public places either.

Patti is right about the ostomy nurses, they are wonderful. Mine was male, and he was great, he let me watch a couple of DVD's on it in the hospital, and then showed me how to change it, in the hospital, what I would need, and wrote out the prescription for the ostomy supplies. I am alot faster changing it these days then I was in the beginning. Sure, it takes some time getting used too, but it's really not that bad. The surgery was the hard part, and the soreness that came with it, and the huge incision, but after that, things are great now.

Hope this helps, and that your dad doesn't feel too bad about it, let him know it's just a different way to go, but it isn't that bad, I can still do what I was doing before (except swim), go out, drive, shop, I walk, I exercise, I play with my kids, I eat what I want, (had to adjust to things that won't stuff me up though, he can get blockages from scar tissue, and certain foods can cause it as well, just eat smaller portions at a time).

Hugsss!
~Donna