Cancer or the Meds will kill my wife..or me one

R_HUGHES
R_HUGHES Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
I am a 48 year old man who had three wifes already. This one was my last one, and now she has gotten breast cancer in her past and I was told she was over it. well needless to say she was not. since we have been married she has had a Malignant mastisized breast cancer that showed up in her brain as a tumor. Now she has had the tumor removed and it was not good.
Since her brain tumor was taken out she is now really taking some serious meds..she stays asleep most of the day and the rest of the time she just fades in and out of the life of boredem we have now. I love her so much and is has gotten so hard for me to help her do daily things. she will not take a shower nor a bath, so i must make her atleast wash her self off daily. she has aot of problems with the meds since she has ben on them for over three years now. when she runs out of her meds she goes crazy and her body starts hurting her all over and jerks s bad. i dont no what to do? I asked her doctors and all they say here is more meds and see ya next month...
sadly this is some of the problems i think.One of nine doctors that she has had told me to just allow nature to run its course.DUH!! waht else can a person do? oh! give her more meds and let her sleep her life away then....sorry for this but i am tired and have no one to turn to now, her family dont think it matters, and nor does the doctors. so now what do i do? just give up? the thought has came into my mind alot latley for sure.

I have kids to take care of as well, and this is really hard to do when you nor your wife works. I am blind and dont have the ablility to pay for sitters nor does any of the family so i can get out to find some things to do for myself. I have a son who just came to live with me who is sixteen and he tinks i need to put her in a home. I cannot do this to her, I LOVE HER i tell him and i must do what dad can here at home.

so is the life of a crippled blind man with a very sick wife matter? no, not really but it does allow me to let some steam off here. i hate cancer and i hate all the meds that go with it...there must be a way to allow her to live with out taking all the heavy pain meds and sleeping and going off in her mind.

If there is other caregivers who have been threw this crap or is going threw it let me no HOW I CAN LIVE WITH KILLING MYSELF...or at least thinking of it..some times.


so sad i cannot help her with her cancer nor a life of freedm from pain.

Comments

  • SonSon
    SonSon Member Posts: 174
    #2
    Do you have any help with you?
    Sounds like it is just you and your wife. Are you able to get any assistance with her at all?
    You said that the doctors tell you "just let nature run its course". In other words - there is nothing more they can do for her. If this is the case then please consider contacting hospice for her. This will help you with many things...including the bathing that you mentioned. A really great thing they will do is help with managing her pain. Ask the hospital social worker about hospice.
    Yes, your life matters, especially to her.
    Keep posting - this is a great place for support.
    Fatima
  • luv3jay
    luv3jay Member Posts: 533 Member
    #3
    It definitely sounds like
    It definitely sounds like you need to contact Hospice at this point. I can't believe your doctor didn't refer you to Hospice.
  • newbride
    newbride Member Posts: 142
    #4
    Please call hospice
    I feel your pain. My husband's doctors also said there was nothing they can do for him, and basically have been the same as your wife's doctors - once there is nothing more they can do medically they basically give up on you - these are the same doctors that throughout the surgery made you feel liek they were family. Anyway, same thing they just give my husband medication for pain. He doesn't bathe either and has become and "old man" at 42 quite fast! It's only a matter of time as well - depending on how quick the tumor grows. We called hospice and they have been great - a nurse comes in to take care of him and an aid comes in and helps to clean.

Discussion Boards