Over a barrel....needing to vent....Sorry for the rambling

tnstudent
tnstudent Member Posts: 45
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
As for support....what support???? My mother lives with us and although she tries and means well it really is not at all helpful. She was also just diagnosed with Basal Cell Carcinoma (skin cancer) and is awaiting some results from a pap smear to find out what is going on female wise. I am hoping that it is not cancer as well but scared as well. My grandma died at age 52 and mom is 51 right now and her birthday is in May. Other people call and stuff sometimes but they usually make things worse rather than helping. This board has been a great help to me so far.

I am personally struggling because I have not worked in over 8 years or more and was just recently turned down for disability myself. I am diabetic and have no insurance. Like I said in one of my posts my husband is the only one with any income and it is only 674 a month SSI. There are 3 of us adults in the house. There is not much money after the bills are paid and in the winter time I usually have a hard time trying to get the electricity paid. Now, his insurance only pays for 5 meds a month and since the cancer he is having to get the mouth wash and nausea meds so have to pick and choose meds or pay out of pocket like I did today.

I am over a barrel. I feel that I need to go back to work to help pay the bills and get more money for meds and other expenses. Oh did I mention the car is broke down and in the shop as well? I have no insurance so another reason to go back to work. Right now there are no jobs here to be had. At the same time, I am scared. I don't want to leave him alone. I am selfish I suppose but I want to spend every moment possible with him. I don't want to be away from him. I want to be there for him when he needs me. To support him and encourage him. We need the extra money too though. The thing that I am worried about is when he goes the income goes and then what? I go homeless??? Also, we have no life insurance or anything along that lines either. He does have a burial plot but that is all in that area.

I am so confused. I am sorry to have unloaded on you with these problems. I try not to look at the big picture but rather the right here right now. I can't think ahead or I get overwhelmed and very depressed. Thanks for listening.

Amy

Comments

  • Patteee
    Patteee Member Posts: 945
    #2
    Amy- you need to check with
    Amy- you need to check with the oncologist office, tell them you need help financially. They will refer you to the closest cancer support center. There are grants available to help. Specifically for people with cancer- I got 2 grants, one through the Angel Foundation and one through my local hospital. I think the total was 2,000. They pay your bills, so you send them your bills- they don't send you the cash. It was a life saver for me. These do not have to be paid back!
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    #3
    Amy, what health condition
    Amy, what health condition does your husband have for the SSI? Thankful he has Medcaid!

    Basal cell carcinoma does not ever move into other organs, etc. My hubby has had that 3 times plus 27 bouts of early melanoma. Reassure your mom that basal cell carcinoma will never kill her. :o) Hope the other tests come back okay for your mom!

    My hospital has a foundation that paid the portion of my hospital bills that was not covered by our excellent insurance. I still owe about $2,000 to doctors, etc., tho. I'm paying them a few dollars a month. I realize that's not an option for you at this time.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #4
    *hugging Amy*
    Amy,

    I'm so sorry about all this. I know it feels like a huge burden to you right now.

    Have you called social services to see if you qualify for food stamps or help with heating or anything? Any amount that you can cut out of your monthly expenses would be good.

    Is there anything you can do from home to help with the money situation? Maybe watching a neighbor's child after school or something like that? I know that would add to your already-cumbersome duties, but it might bring in some money while allowing you to be there with your husband.

    Are you a member of a church? I know our church (the conference, not our individual church) has a fund that helps people with medical bills. A local pastor helps you file the paperwork, and the money doesn't have to be returned.

    I'll be praying that some wonderful solutions will present themselves to you. It does seem you're in a very hard place right now, on so many levels.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • WinneyPooh
    WinneyPooh Member Posts: 318
    #5
    Amy, we are dead if we are idle!!!
    Amy, i am going to be harsh with you, but you need it
    Amy, Get with the Game,

    You need to pick up the local newspaper and find a job, clean houses if you need to, and your husband as sick as he is and believe me i am as sick as the next cancer patient, needs to do the same, you can be on disablity and work as long as you don't earn more that $700 a month it won't effet your benifits.

    My husband is a dialysis (kidney failure) patient on disablity who is also an Artist and sells his work for a good living, He is diabetic and is over weight and the list goes on, but he is productive.

    I am Stage IV rectal cancer and I have just spent 12 days in the hospital but i am up and getting out and making money, and art, and not complaining.

    Amy you need a kick in the butt, and i am bruttaly honest and you can hate me but you know i am right.

    I don't care what you do and how much money it brings in , My point is go beyong your comfort zone and do more, God wants you to prove to him you can he is putting this before you,
    I am not preaching,
    I know because i have been there and done that, You can do it.
    You must do it.
    I hope i was not offensive,
    I care to much
    Now go out there and
    LIVE, LAUGH, GROW
    Winnie
  • tnstudent
    tnstudent Member Posts: 45
    #6
    tootsie1 said:

    *hugging Amy*
    Amy,

    I'm so sorry about all this. I know it feels like a huge burden to you right now.

    Have you called social services to see if you qualify for food stamps or help with heating or anything? Any amount that you can cut out of your monthly expenses would be good.

    Is there anything you can do from home to help with the money situation? Maybe watching a neighbor's child after school or something like that? I know that would add to your already-cumbersome duties, but it might bring in some money while allowing you to be there with your husband.

    Are you a member of a church? I know our church (the conference, not our individual church) has a fund that helps people with medical bills. A local pastor helps you file the paperwork, and the money doesn't have to be returned.

    I'll be praying that some wonderful solutions will present themselves to you. It does seem you're in a very hard place right now, on so many levels.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Gail,
    We are already being
    Gail,

    We are already being helped by the social services as for with food stamps. There is a program that helps with heating and we usually apply for that but it never kicks in when you have the high bills December, January and February it usually kicks in in March, but it does help.

    I have been trying to find things to do from home to help with the money situation. We live in a very rural area and there are not any neighbors where we live. I have put ads out for babysitting and working and such but have not had any replies. There is not any jobs here where we live most everyone is laid off and the factories have closed their doors and moved elsewhere. I have been applying for jobs and even been on some interviews but no luck so far.

    We are members of a church and they have helped out but it is a very small church so they are limited in what they can do as well. They have helped us get to the hospital on emergency basis and other times as well.

    Thanks for the reply.

    Amy
  • tnstudent
    tnstudent Member Posts: 45
    #7
    WinneyPooh said:

    Amy, we are dead if we are idle!!!
    Amy, i am going to be harsh with you, but you need it
    Amy, Get with the Game,

    You need to pick up the local newspaper and find a job, clean houses if you need to, and your husband as sick as he is and believe me i am as sick as the next cancer patient, needs to do the same, you can be on disablity and work as long as you don't earn more that $700 a month it won't effet your benifits.

    My husband is a dialysis (kidney failure) patient on disablity who is also an Artist and sells his work for a good living, He is diabetic and is over weight and the list goes on, but he is productive.

    I am Stage IV rectal cancer and I have just spent 12 days in the hospital but i am up and getting out and making money, and art, and not complaining.

    Amy you need a kick in the butt, and i am bruttaly honest and you can hate me but you know i am right.

    I don't care what you do and how much money it brings in , My point is go beyong your comfort zone and do more, God wants you to prove to him you can he is putting this before you,
    I am not preaching,
    I know because i have been there and done that, You can do it.
    You must do it.
    I hope i was not offensive,
    I care to much
    Now go out there and
    LIVE, LAUGH, GROW
    Winnie

    Winnie,
    I see your point and
    Winnie,

    I see your point and have been treated this way before. I am not trying to make excuses for not working. I have been out there trying to find a job. I live in a very rural area where there are no factories because they have all closed their doors and moved or went out of business. I have even applied at places like Walmart and fast food restaurants. These places are just not hiring because of the economy. Most of the places in our area will not even accept applications at this time. I get the newspaper every time it comes out and there are no employment ads in it. I do not have the transportation nor the money to drive 1-2 hours to be able to work. My car that provides transportation to chemo treatments and doctor's appointments and such is broke down and in the shop now.

    As for my husband he is not on regular disability he is on SSI which is based on income. If he works, they take away his check.

    I am not making excuses.

    FROM NOW ON I WILL JUST KEEP MY TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS TO MYSELF AND DEAL WITH IT. SORRY TO HAVE BOTHERED EVERYONE.

    GOOD BYE!!!!

    Amy
  • WinneyPooh
    WinneyPooh Member Posts: 318
    #8
    tnstudent said:

    Winnie,
    I see your point and
    Winnie,

    I see your point and have been treated this way before. I am not trying to make excuses for not working. I have been out there trying to find a job. I live in a very rural area where there are no factories because they have all closed their doors and moved or went out of business. I have even applied at places like Walmart and fast food restaurants. These places are just not hiring because of the economy. Most of the places in our area will not even accept applications at this time. I get the newspaper every time it comes out and there are no employment ads in it. I do not have the transportation nor the money to drive 1-2 hours to be able to work. My car that provides transportation to chemo treatments and doctor's appointments and such is broke down and in the shop now.

    As for my husband he is not on regular disability he is on SSI which is based on income. If he works, they take away his check.

    I am not making excuses.

    FROM NOW ON I WILL JUST KEEP MY TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS TO MYSELF AND DEAL WITH IT. SORRY TO HAVE BOTHERED EVERYONE.

    GOOD BYE!!!!

    Amy

    Oh, Amy Thats Not What I meant
    Amy,
    You see life is very hard for me to I live in a rural area also, I was just trying to kick start you by pointing out there is some work out there for us all and when we work we feel better about our selves and we do better all around, try this.
    Contact your churches and schools and post that you will babysit and tutor in reading or math and will do light housekeeping, keep your fee low, and i bet you will get calls, After awhile of this you will build some connections and maybe able to find a perm. job. I know a car being broke poses another problem, but you may need to reach out to some service stations and they may be willing to work the cost out in trade, We often Barder for work we need done,
    What did your husband do when he worked? What were his skills, Maybe he needs to go for training, The are Gov. Agencies that pay for training so he can go back to work.

    All I am Saying is yes its hard but you must do all you can and more to better your situation, or you will always be where you are.
    Jesus, said you can fed a man with today or you can teach him to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.
    I just want you all to fish.
    You will feel better, start small, and work up to bigger accomplishments.

    Sometimes, my words are harsh, but i felt you needed it, PM me and I will Help and give you advice on job hunting the unconventional way, I know you'll find something.
    Winnie

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