Finding some success

What a fine inspirational message!
Thank you for posting it! And what an excellent topic for this board. I'll just describe how my perspective on success has changed in my two years with cancer.

I used to rely almost entirely on my career to measure my feelings of success (I'm an academic). Almost immediately upon being diagnosed, I decided that I was going to treat the experience of cancer as an opportunity to grow intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally. I quickly realized that my family and friends were my greatest source of good feelings, and I shifted my attention from professional concerns to cultivating my relationships with my friends. I found in doing this that I also shifted my attention from taking on professional projects to taking on creative projects. That means that I pursue creative projects with friends, find great joy in designing and maintaining my garden, work on writing projects that feel good creatively rather than those that will promote my academic prestige. The pleasure of making something meaningful, of nurturing the garden, of nurturing a friendship -- all of that fills me with love and sustains me with joy. That is success!

So True
Yes John this is a great post. We have been so wrapped up in the cancer thing that sometimes we forget how it was before the DX. Thanks for posting it.
My John is now in Vegas with his dad. Our son lives there and he went to see them and go to the football game. He has called me many times and I can hear it in his voice that he is having a wonderful time. He and his dad didn't have much of a relationship growing up because he wasn't around. It has only been the last five years that they have got to be father and son again. The cancer DX really upset his dad. I am glad they are having time together and hope they have a lot more good times together.

johnsfo said:

What a fine inspirational message!
Thank you for posting it! And what an excellent topic for this board. I'll just describe how my perspective on success has changed in my two years with cancer.

I used to rely almost entirely on my career to measure my feelings of success (I'm an academic). Almost immediately upon being diagnosed, I decided that I was going to treat the experience of cancer as an opportunity to grow intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally. I quickly realized that my family and friends were my greatest source of good feelings, and I shifted my attention from professional concerns to cultivating my relationships with my friends. I found in doing this that I also shifted my attention from taking on professional projects to taking on creative projects. That means that I pursue creative projects with friends, find great joy in designing and maintaining my garden, work on writing projects that feel good creatively rather than those that will promote my academic prestige. The pleasure of making something meaningful, of nurturing the garden, of nurturing a friendship -- all of that fills me with love and sustains me with joy. That is success!

Hi John
What an incredible shift in your life! It is truly amazing what a difference it makes when we live with a deeper appreciation of our mortality.

Peace and blessings... Rob; in Vancouver

"The pleasure of making something meaningful, of nurturing the garden, of nurturing a friendship -- all of that fills me with love and sustains me with joy. That is success!"
johnsfo

Hi John,I am glad to hear
Hi John,I am glad to hear that you feel good and useful.When chemo and radiation knocked my husband down,he felt "useless",once he feels good enought to go back to work,it does make his whole world a lot different.Unfortunately when people are facing this life threatening disease,their whole world is focus on how to survive it.I am so happy for you that your bussiness is doing well and you and your family too.Take care.Thank you for sharing.

right on John
I found your message inspiring, thanks, I will be spreading my wings too

Great post
What a thoughtful post and great replies. Since **** is a pilot, he cannot fly until he has been cancer free for at least a year. So, he has been spending time nurturing relationships, serving at our church and enjoying the ocean as much as possible. He went night spear fishing the other night with a bunch of friends. He felt so good after that! He is also surfing whenever he feels good and there are waves.

Aloha,
Kathleen

Thanks for the post John-reminds me of YNP early Oct
and not thinking of cancer once the whole time-

A couple of weeks ago I was able to go on a 4 day trip with my girlfriend up to Cody, WY and Yellowstone NP (about 4 hrs from our home). We weren't sure that the weather would cooperate as some storms had been moving through the area. We had a cabin right near the East entrance and each morning we would wake up late, have a leisurely breakfast, and see what the day would bring. There were light dustings of snow with lots of clouds and wind but each day were were able to cross Sylvan pass and get into the park. The first day we had numerous sightings of bison, some very close; two males were sparring in a field right next to the road, and the other was of a mom nursing a calf right in the middle of the road. We made it to the upper falls of the Yellowstone which I had never seen despite 30 years calling WY home before we turned around as the flakes were coming down harder. The next morning it was snowing lightly and a bull moose and then a cow moose went trotting right by the cabin and into the pines. Early afternoon we were able to cross the pass again and got to the lower falls of the Yellowstone-the one you see in the pictures with all the yellow and red rock all around. The light cover of snow, the steam from the geysers along the sides the deep canyon, and the afternoon sun through the clouds just made the view. On the way back we saw a Cooper's hawk up close and more bison along the northern shore of Lake Yellowstone. Three miles up from the East entrance coming down the canyon from the pass, my girlfriend yelled "wolf!" and we stopped. There was a grey wolf and two blacks with brindle collars. My girlfriend saw another black as I was stopping the car. They were 50 yards away so we could clearly see their eyes when they looked at us, and then they cavorted away into the spruce/pine forest along the river. I have seen wolf sign and heard them while in the backcountry but never have I seen wolf in the wild. The park ranger at the gate was excited to hear about it too. They could've been part of the Jonas creek pack. We got back to the cabin really excited and had some snacks before dinner on the little porch trying to let the last few rays of setting sun heat us up a bit amidst the snow around us. I looked up towards the two track going up the bank of the stream next to cabin about 20 feet away, and there was a young grizzly, probably male as they must leave their mother at about 3, coming down the track. I whooped, and he stopped. I whooped again, and he turned around and went back up the hill. I have seen grizzly in the wild before, but this was the closest, and also disturbing because he was so close to human habitation. I let the lodge people know, they said not to worry, but I always worry about an habituated grizzly. We weren't bothered that night but he did tear up their sewage lines. The WY Game and Fish were there in the AM. I felt so sad because he was a young bear, and he probably would end up being killed before he lived very much longer because of his habits near humans. I remember clearly the size of his claws as he padded pigeon-toed down the slight incline. That next morning we also saw a Goshawk sitting on a stump about 10 feet from the cabin window. I had never seen one that close for that long as they are usually winging their way through the forest at a very fast clip chasing other birds. the next morning dawned clear and cold and we had a lovely late fall drive through the park to the South Entrance, through Grand Teton Nat'l Park, and then over Togwotee Pass to finish the long loop home. We hadn't seen elk yet but thought we might because they had started their migration south to the Jackson hole valley and we would pass along that way. Sure enough six cow elk paused in a clearing by the left side of the road for a nice long view. On the right was the view of Mt Moran and the Grand Teton backset against Jackson Lake with sun and clouds. We got home to Lander before dark and looked around at the two feet of snow that had missed us on the circuit we did to the north. We had been gifted.

Leslie

On that note
Check out www.friendshippaddle.com/thp/currentpaddle/php. That is my sister paddling in the Santa Barbara ocean, as part of a fundraiser in her honor. She is truly an inspiration for everyone out there.

sfmarie said:

On that note
Check out www.friendshippaddle.com/thp/currentpaddle/php. That is my sister paddling in the Santa Barbara ocean, as part of a fundraiser in her honor. She is truly an inspiration for everyone out there.

Special
Wow, your sister is a beautiful young woman. How very special that she did the friendship paddle. It is obvious that she is loved and that she has a lot of love too.

Aloha,
Kathleen

Great Timing!
I am on my last dose of Folfox6, get disconnected tomorrow. I am lucky in that I work from home and work for a great company, Perot Systems (as in Ross Perot). They have allowed me to work a couple of hrs a day to maintain my need to feel needed. This dx has made me encourage friends and family to enjoy life and times together. We even went camping 4 times this summer, scheduling them around chemo. I told my friends during our Labor Day Trip that it felt great to be just me and not Pat who has cancer. It was wonderful even though they said I did too much, back to "just let me be Pat and not Pat who has cancer.

C-T next week to determine the next round of treatment. I refuse to believe my oncologist who said no one is ever cancer free after the first go around with chemo for Stage 4. I can still believe in miracles, and if not at least to have little cancer left. Keep me in your prayers!

Pat