Sundance's Last Post Before Surgery - "Let's Just Talk"

Sundanceh
Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Dearest Semi;Colon Family :)

It has been said that “Parting is such sweet sorrow.” And that’s exactly how I feel about it too.

By now, all of you are aware of my upcoming lung surgery with Da Vinci this Friday, October 16th @ 7am (CST).

So, I thought for this post, I would just sit down here and we could get comfortable and “just talk with each other” again and I can tell you a couple more stories before the Big Day arrives.

I will be temporarily “off the air” a spell – hey, no clapping or loud applause :)

I just thought it would be nice to “reflect” back on my time here with all of you, if you don’t mind?

It has been an amazing journey for me from Before I got here until now – I’ve learned so much from all of you and you have taught me the value of FRIENDSHIP and what it means to have good people, in your life, and what’s it’s like to have a wealth of friends you can count on.

I knew when I found this site and saw the “buzz” of everyone connecting and caring about each other, that I just wanted to be here among such great people and be a part of this community – I knew it was the place to be. Your love and beautiful feelings have shown me that - THANK YOU!

It has taken me 48 years to finally find a place “where I fit in.”

And I cannot thank each of you enough for that – FRIENDSHIP / LOVE / ACCEPTANCE are the most treasured gifts that each of us can give one another – and they go way beyond the material goods that we are taught to TREASURE and VALUE in this lifetime.

Kathryn in MN mentioned this to me just the other day – she came here for information, but found out all too quickly what the rest of us have come to realize - what is really important is being WITH each other in this wonderful place that we call HOME.

And if you figure that one out, well then “you get it.”

The other thing I wanted to talk about was the James Taylor “You’ve Got A Friend” post I opened a few days ago – that one really hit a chord with everybody and I’m so glad that you enjoyed it – it is now the “officially” licensed Semi;Colon ANTHEM.

As I listened to the words of that song, I heard the following verse, which moved me to tears:

People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.

And that verse reminded me about how “COLD” people had been to me in the past, before I found the board and this wonderful community of “spirits” that reside here in “Our World.”

It was an interesting, emotional feeling I was experiencing that afternoon as I was putting it all together and it made me think back to when I first talked to Chicky aka Shayenne in my first communication with her right when I joined the board, and told her I had just lost faith in people – and she told me not to give up on people but stay here on the board, where people care about each other – she was so wise and I am glad that I listened to her and decided to “unpack my bags” and stay with you…((Chicky))

So, as I listened to that song play over and over, I got a very warm feeling come over me, “You’ve Got a Friend” and thus the message that I wanted to spread.

I mentioned the following on that post, but it is still relevant, that I wanted to repeat it here again:

For the rest of our lives, anytime that WE hear this song anywhere in the world and at any time, WE will always be reminded of the SEMIS and this special moment in time when we were all connected to each other and alive in each other's hearts :)

It's amazing how life can work when we are dialed into the wonderment and opportunities that comes our way and when we are OPEN to sharing and receiving – Isn’t that just wonderful?

And each time that I "connect with you" just gets better and better as our relationship continues to GROW and GROW and becomes stronger with each passing post....it's just a beautiful thing.

The “Boundaries of Friendship" have been re-defined here and what I find fascinating is how “our spirits” connect with each other and how lacking the physical presence of a body, does not mean that you cannot be a friend to someone – in fact I find it richer than many relationships that I have formed person to person.

It is the beauty of looking into each other’s “souls” and eschewing prejudice and the other “walls” that people sometime build up that can hinder any good relationship.

For you see, what we are “seeing, hearing and feeling” is the true beauty of the person and the words they are speaking to us with their message – and not our physical limitations or our backgrounds – we are UNITED in our common afflictions and we can relate to each other in a way that is “truly pure.”

Perhaps, one of the “purest” things I’ve ever experienced in my life – and I owe that all to YOU :)

If more of the world could act in ways of showing affection, caring and in the true spirit of giving, as we practice here in Our World, then what an even more wonderful world this Earth would become.

By “Paying It Forward” WE each enrich the Human Experience and the betterment of not only each other, but for mankind as a whole. This is truly a wonderful gift that I wish more of the world could understand and experience.

If only we could drop the “materialistic” attitudes that pervade our society and get back to the basics - one person helping another, then helping another, well then – that is a community, isn’t it?

I mean we’re all in this TOGETHER, right? This is perhaps the biggest lesson that this Board has taught me.

By one person helping one another for the sheer sake of “giving” makes us all ONE – and that is another beautiful thought – I’m a dreamer I know, but I dream of a world like this, where devoid of excess materialism, we could eliminate so many of the “jealousies” that man sometimes exhibits toward his fellow man.

It’s not about our possessions in life – I’ve learned the hard way that this world is all about Experiences and Memories and the ability to be able to relate and “Connect” to our fellow man, that really makes the world turn. These are the treasures that we will all carry with us to the end.

As I’ve mentioned before, “There is no luggage rack on the hearse.”

All of you have reminded me what LIFE is really about and what we each cherish in our lives – and I read it every day in your posts and it makes me feel so good :)

Finally, I will close this post with one last GOOD story.

I had the opportunity to go out of town for a one-nighter (get your minds out of the gutter) -LOL :)

No, this one-nighter I was out “on tour” working the Karaoke circuit – I went to see one of my Aunts and Uncle, their daughter and her daughter. They met me at a little country restaurant in a small country town in East Texas – called affectionately Ed’s Place.

So, I got the chance to break out some new songs I had been working on that I wanted to do before surgery arrived – my show has switched to “Old Country” now and I sang some George Jones and Johnny Cash – I got some nice applause and it was a wonderful evening and I got the chance to see everybody….now if only I could put together a couple of notes and not make the dogs howl down there, I’d be doing good :)

Anyway, it was good to get out of the big city and breathe in some country air and see land where there were trees and nature, instead of buildings and cement – it was good for the soul.

The “Guitar Man”, Phil, would have certainly been proud of the effort that night…in fact I had a dream the night before that Phil was there and he was playing the “Fender Lap Strat”…and doing a good job BTW!

Oh, and before I forget - I wanted to say a special THANK YOU to Emily, who I finally “connected” with on my JT post – Em, you made my day that day, not once, but twice! I thought I can go onto Heaven now :)

Well, I have done all that I know to do “right now” to reach out to all of you and I must take some time now to go and handle my business – with all of YOU pulling and praying for me, HOW can I let any of you down now?

Besides, Buzzard will just come after me if I don’t do right…(hehe, right Clift?)

I just wanted you to know that each of you “Live in my Heart” and I hope that a little bit of me “lives in your hearts” as well.

And I will be thinking about each and everyone of us as they “take me on that long ride down the hall.” You will all be there with me and I draw great warmth and comfort in that thought. I hope to get to “eyeball” the Da Vinci in the O/R before they turn my lights out. I want to see it face-to-face.

This is such a beautiful community and I will be here as long as you will “have me.” Thank you again for having me here with you. There is nowhere else that I would rather be :)

All of YOU are my inspiration and I would hate to be doing this now without “youz.” I feel so privileged and honored to be here and “walk among you.”

And no post would be complete without my favorite tagline – now all of you please say this with me out loud:

“Cancer does not define me, but HOW I live and fight with Cancer DOES define me.”

Ok, it’s time for another Group Hug:

((((MY SEMIS;)))) I Love You THIS MUCH!

Your fellow Semi;Colon / Semi;Liver / Semi;Lung /.… and Friend!

-Craig

P.S. “In Recognition and Appreciation” of my best friends…
Chicky, Kim, Eric, Phil, Canada Rob, Patti (KS), Patteee, Lisa, DianeT, Lizzy, Clift, Lorraine, Betina, Raquel, John, Emily, FFML, Leslie, Jennie, Sonia, Sheri, Paula, Mike, Gail, Vicki, Donnare, Amy, Nudgie, Petrina, Cass, Serrana, Julie, Marie, Jeff, Christine, Anne, Pokismom, Anna, Debbie (Gramma), Debbie (Bdee) Kathleen, Margaret, Canada Sue, Kelly, Buzzi, Dawn, Liz, Susan, Debbie, Chip, Tiny One, Winney, Winnie, Krista, KathiM, Michelle (angelsbaby), Cowman (Diane), Devastated, Dasspears, Maglets, Lisa P, Carletta, Beth, Kirsten, Linda, Peggy, and Karguy.

And to the newbies:
Don, Jan, Brooks, Roy, Karyn, Adrian, Janet, Dennis, Jeanlynet and Kathryn.

WOW! That’s a big list! If I missed anyone, please forgive me, I wish all of you well too. I look forward to meeting more of you as time passes, and even if we have not yet met…Be Well!

-C
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Comments

  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    Craig
    That was so beautiful I wish you the very best and a speedy recovery. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take Care

    hugss

    michelle
  • CanadaSue
    CanadaSue Member Posts: 339 Member
    WOW
    Craig,

    Another fine post!

    You are such an inspiration to so many on this board! Your posts are always written from your heart - You have so much to offer us all, no matter where we are in this journey.

    When things aren't going to well I always turn to the board even if I don't post I read all the posts, and I really enjoy reading your posts - you tell it how it is!

    Craig my FRIEND, please know that we are all praying for you, and not just on Friday either! You are always in my thoughts and prayers!


    (((((((HUGS)))))

    Sue
  • betina61
    betina61 Member Posts: 642 Member
    Graig
    I love reading your posts,I told you once, you are a remarkable human being.
  • AceSFO
    AceSFO Member Posts: 229
    Hey Craig! I've been
    Hey Craig! I've been thinking about you all week and will continue to send good thoughts and prayers your way particularly on Friday! Clearly you are an amazing human being and a real gift to the folks on this board. Thanks for all you do for so many people here!

    48 huh? I dunno - you look a lot younger in the photo - either that's a really old photo or you're doing something right ;-)

    Holding you in the light now and on Friday and in the days and months to follow.

    Adrian
  • just4Brooks
    just4Brooks Member Posts: 980 Member
    AceSFO said:

    Hey Craig! I've been
    Hey Craig! I've been thinking about you all week and will continue to send good thoughts and prayers your way particularly on Friday! Clearly you are an amazing human being and a real gift to the folks on this board. Thanks for all you do for so many people here!

    48 huh? I dunno - you look a lot younger in the photo - either that's a really old photo or you're doing something right ;-)

    Holding you in the light now and on Friday and in the days and months to follow.

    Adrian

    Craig
    I wish you well on Friday.. you will be in my thoughts, and heart.

    Brooks
  • butterfly23
    butterfly23 Member Posts: 256
    Wow
    Hi Craig!

    You have the most beautiful posts. I have my family praying for you tomorrow, I shared your story with everyone, you really have touched everyone on this site in a special way. I have been thinking about you all day and will continue to pray for you! You are such an inspiration to all of us! We will miss seeing your posts, but look forward to future ones! I hope there is someone that will let us know how you are doing. Stay as strong as you are! You are a wonderful person! And an inspiration to all! YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND!
    HUGS!
    Karyn
  • butterfly23
    butterfly23 Member Posts: 256
    Wow
    Hi Craig!

    You have the most beautiful posts. I have my family praying for you tomorrow, I shared your story with everyone, you really have touched everyone on this site in a special way. I have been thinking about you all day and will continue to pray for you! You are such an inspiration to all of us! We will miss seeing your posts, but look forward to future ones! I hope there is someone that will let us know how you are doing. Stay as strong as you are! You are a wonderful person! And an inspiration to all! YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND!
    HUGS!
    Karyn
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    Craig
    You're going to do fine with your operation, it's not like you've never been through this before. That's so GREAT that you got out there and did the tunes for everyone, I'm sure they were moved and enjoyed it very much. It takes guts to do that. It's funny, I had a dream that involved a bar, and a lap something-or-other. Not sure if it was a guitar but one of the strings may have been in it, yes, the 3rd one!
    Get your butt back here as soon as you can. I'll be thinking of you!
    -phil
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
    (((CRAIG)))
    Oh honey, your post was so heart felt right from the depths of your soul. You better not be talking about going to heaven any time soon! Don't be scaring us now.

    So you think it's cool connecting on the boards, but I can attest how AWESOMELY COOL it is to meet in person. I have yet to make it to a Colonpalooza (was signed up for this one but need to cancel due to the allergy issues I am dealing with....though they are much better..the thought of travel right now is a no go), BUT I met my wonderful friend Bud (aka nanuk) years ago.

    He was on his way to Texas for the yearly Colonpalooza and he called me and said he was heading North to see me. He traveled 600 miles out of his way to come visit me. That visit is near and dear to my heart especially since Bud is no longer with us. When I first came to the boards my hubby was working graveyard shift and the evenings were long and lonely. My kids were young (5 of them) and no one really "got it" what I was going through, especially since I wasn't doing chemo and losing my hair or puking up my guts. So to them, I never seemed "sick". (just cranky-HA!) Anyway, Bud and I connected (and SpongeBob and LisaRose and ron50--those were the days before anyone was really coming here a lot) in a big way--he lived in Alaska and I was in the Northwoods of Minnesota running sled dogs. We chatted a ton and became dear friends. So then, for him to come and visit me going waaaaay out of his way to do it was the greatest gift a human can give to another--making someone feel special and loved. There are many folks on this board who have this gift.

    I'm with you Craig--we all ARE in this together and we all need each other.

    You will be in my prayers and please make sure you have someone give us your update ASAP!

    peace, emily ((((SEMICOLONS)))))
  • patsy1954
    patsy1954 Member Posts: 85
    Craig
    I've only been on this board since last month but have found great comfort, love and support from everyone. It's a great place to share thoughts and feelings. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, you'll do fine!!! You have too many people praying and supporting you to do anything but do great. My journey just started this past April and I wish I had found this site at that time. My last chemo is next week and then will anxiously wait for my CT scan to see how it all worked out. I count on people like you to give me strength and support. Keep up the good work and looking forward to your postings in the very near future!

    Pat
  • Kathryn_in_MN
    Kathryn_in_MN Member Posts: 1,252 Member
    Another great heartfelt
    Another great heartfelt post!

    You WIN! Anyone that teases me about the length of my writings from here on out, I will send them to yours. ;)

    I'm glad you had a chance to have a little fun - get out into the country and sing, or howl with the dogs, if it was that bad. (Somehow I have a feeling it was enjoyable, and not howling.) I hope you have most of your to-do list done to get everything set up ahead of time so you don't have to worry about anything during recuperation. Try and do something enjoyable and relaxing again today and tomorrow. Something special just for you - you deserve it! You've got some tough days ahead, but you are a fighter and will get through them fine. But nothing wrong with rewarding yourself a little early for taking on the challenge - and then you can do it again after you get through it all and are recovered.

    You are a very special soul. You have lots of us here on this board, along with our families and friends, and your famiy and friends praying for you and sending positive vibes. Best wishes for wonderful results from this surgery, and quick recovery time.

    Please appoint someone to keep us updated till your strength is back and you can do it.

    You remain in my prayers.
  • snommintj
    snommintj Member Posts: 601
    patsy1954 said:

    Craig
    I've only been on this board since last month but have found great comfort, love and support from everyone. It's a great place to share thoughts and feelings. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, you'll do fine!!! You have too many people praying and supporting you to do anything but do great. My journey just started this past April and I wish I had found this site at that time. My last chemo is next week and then will anxiously wait for my CT scan to see how it all worked out. I count on people like you to give me strength and support. Keep up the good work and looking forward to your postings in the very near future!

    Pat

    I've stopped reading your posts
    Your posts have become so long I've stopped reading them. We usually agree on everything so I just read the title and nod my head. Good Luck with surgery I know you'll be fine. Di vinci is pretty good stuff. I was just kidding about your posts.
  • pokismom
    pokismom Member Posts: 153
    Will be thinking of you Craig!
    Oh Craig again you bring tears to my eyes. You are such a talented writer, I would sure like to hear your music! I know that we all will be missing your posts and advice in the coming days. May god be with you on your journey and we all will be praying for you for a speedy recovery, so you can tell us all about it. I have never met such a compassionate person, who cares about everyone, even me who just started posting, you made me feel right at home! Thank you for that!
    Much love,
    Donna
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    Craig
    I wish you the best on friday,may you recover quickly,and be back soon.I'll pray for you,and send lots of good vibes.
  • Muzzy
    Muzzy Member Posts: 175 Member
    speedy recovery
    Speedy recovery my freind.
    Jeff
    Just happy to Here!!!
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    pokismom said:

    Will be thinking of you Craig!
    Oh Craig again you bring tears to my eyes. You are such a talented writer, I would sure like to hear your music! I know that we all will be missing your posts and advice in the coming days. May god be with you on your journey and we all will be praying for you for a speedy recovery, so you can tell us all about it. I have never met such a compassionate person, who cares about everyone, even me who just started posting, you made me feel right at home! Thank you for that!
    Much love,
    Donna

    Craig
    We have not been able to know one another very well because I have not been on this forum for much of the time that you have been here.

    I have read your posts and you are such a caring, giving individual.

    I wish all the best for you on Friday....funny you should write that long hall....the hospital for my liver surgeries feels like miles and miles of hall before you get to the OR. It is a long lonely path but you do have a myriad of friends here supporting you and holding you up.

    Best of luck Craig and Best wishes.and hugs

    mags
  • lesvanb
    lesvanb Member Posts: 905
    ;;;;;;;;;;;;'s!!
    Hey Craig, right back at you. Thanks again for reminding us all of this great community. I'll be thinking of you Friday, and wishing you speedy healing!

    all the best, Leslie
  • Mchapp
    Mchapp Member Posts: 95
    karguy said:

    Craig
    I wish you the best on friday,may you recover quickly,and be back soon.I'll pray for you,and send lots of good vibes.

    Keep up the FIGHT
    Craig-
    my very best to you during your surgery and recovery! Will keep you in thoughts and daily prayers!
    Will be looking for your awesome postings real soon - don't be gone too long - many of us count on you to keep us FIGHTING!
    Mihelle
  • GOOFYLADIE
    GOOFYLADIE Member Posts: 232 Member
    Never a loss for words
    Good afternoon Craig,

    Even at a time when things are so obviously stressed, you are making sure you have all your ducks in a row on this board. You little Sugar Booger. I believe you have instilled great morale, openness and healing here in our home of semis.

    In the short time I have been on this board you have shared the laughs, cheers and tears with many on this board. The diverse views and ideas shows the empathy that is offered here at our new home. What a great place to be aside from having Cancer.LOL

    Craig, we have something in common besides cancer. My horoscope is Cancer. July 10, 1966.
    Dreamers go far if we follow thru!!! My arms are wrapped around you and Kim!
    Make it a Great Day!

    Goofyladie (Cass)
  • kristasplace
    kristasplace Member Posts: 957 Member
    Wow, Craig
    I have to agree with everyone else...that was just so beautiful! It made my heart speed up, because i completely believe what you're saying. I believe the number one cause of our society's degradation is that no one cares for anyone else anymore. The outside world is full of strangers where no one fully connects, and if they do, it isn't for long. It's become a throw-away society where individulism and altruism is the rarity.

    This board is family in the most sincerist way. We don't have to see each other eye to eye to care for each other, and that is truly something special.

    I will be thinking about you constantly until i see you post again, Craig. Please do so as soon as you can, or tell Eric to let us know all is well.

    May you come through your surgery spirited, pain-free, and without cancer!

    Many hugs, and much love,
    Krista