depressed and tired

Options
ruthielaine
ruthielaine Member Posts: 59
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
had my bilateral mastectomy on 9/28 and sailed through the rest of the week but for whatever reasons this week not so good - very depressed and cry at the drop of a hat - have no desire to go to work or to even get dressed. I tried this morning to get dressed, nothing looked right, all of a sudden got so sad plus I'm very sore. thought this would be easing up by now - but the expanders are very uncomfortable and sore. I just had them checked yesterday and he took out some fluid and added to the expanders but still very sore, depressed and disgusted. Sorry to be such a downer but I was wondering if any of you ladies ever experienced this? Thanks

Comments

  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #2
    Options
    I didn't have reconstruction
    I didn't have reconstruction so can't give advice just hugs coming your way. Hang in there. Some day you will be looking back on the whole deal.
  • jikaras
    jikaras Member Posts: 58
    #3
    Options
    expanders
    Ruthie, I had expanders put in after my bilateral mastectomy. I can honestly say that yes, they suck! They are hard, heavy and just annoying. Please though, just keep saying to yourself that it's only temporary.....When you have the implants put in, they are much more comfortable.

    There were some days during my recovery when I didn't feel like getting dressed either - WHO CARES! Take your time, wear what you want. Take it week by week...there were some days when I second guessed getting the expanders put in, and I was very close a couple of times to telling my plastic surgeon to take them out. But I hung in there and I'm so glad I did. You too will reach this stage.....it's only been a couple of weeks. You've still got a ways to go with them. Don't rush anything/it all takes time.

    Just remember these are fake boobies!

    Jill
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    #4
    Options
    Marcia527 said:

    I didn't have reconstruction
    I didn't have reconstruction so can't give advice just hugs coming your way. Hang in there. Some day you will be looking back on the whole deal.

    hugs
    I had a lumpectomy ... so no expanders or reconstruction... but I'm sure that whatever you are feeling now emotionally ... is totally normal for what you've been through. It really hasn't been that long since your surgery ... so maybe you are just pushing yourself a bit hard ... and need to take it easy for awhile. Maybe your mind thinks you should be "as good as new" ... but your body is telling you to rest. So ... give yourself permission to be selfish and do only what you really feel like ... or want to do. Learn to say "no" if you're not up to doing something. Don't push yourself.

    hugs.
    teena
  • jk1952
    jk1952 Member Posts: 613
    #5
    Options
    jikaras said:

    expanders
    Ruthie, I had expanders put in after my bilateral mastectomy. I can honestly say that yes, they suck! They are hard, heavy and just annoying. Please though, just keep saying to yourself that it's only temporary.....When you have the implants put in, they are much more comfortable.

    There were some days during my recovery when I didn't feel like getting dressed either - WHO CARES! Take your time, wear what you want. Take it week by week...there were some days when I second guessed getting the expanders put in, and I was very close a couple of times to telling my plastic surgeon to take them out. But I hung in there and I'm so glad I did. You too will reach this stage.....it's only been a couple of weeks. You've still got a ways to go with them. Don't rush anything/it all takes time.

    Just remember these are fake boobies!

    Jill

    Ruthie, you said something

    Ruthie, you said something about having no desire to go to work. You shouldn't be thinking about work two weeks after your surgery. I was told that with a mastectomy (only) to expect a four to six week recovery period. I had a bilateral mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction and was out of work for eight weeks. I'm not sure what the normal recovery period is for your surgery but it has to be between four and eight weeks, not two. Can anyone else shed light on the normal recovery period?

    Now is the time to take care of yourself, let others help you and don't worry about your normal duties. You have to heal both physically and emotionally. Try to do some things to take your mind off everyting that's going on. Read some mindless books, watch some chick flicks, do SUDOKU or crossword puzzles, plan a vacation for when you feel better. Or do things that stimulate your mind, if that's what you need to take your mind off of your recovery.

    Joyce
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #6
    Options
    Hi Sis
    I didn't have the re-build (O.M.G. Sorry, makes you sound like an engine block! LOL) But I sure had an attack of the downers after treatment. It's normal, and horrible!
    Hope you are O.K. Hun Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxx
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #7
    Options
    jk1952 said:

    Ruthie, you said something

    Ruthie, you said something about having no desire to go to work. You shouldn't be thinking about work two weeks after your surgery. I was told that with a mastectomy (only) to expect a four to six week recovery period. I had a bilateral mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction and was out of work for eight weeks. I'm not sure what the normal recovery period is for your surgery but it has to be between four and eight weeks, not two. Can anyone else shed light on the normal recovery period?

    Now is the time to take care of yourself, let others help you and don't worry about your normal duties. You have to heal both physically and emotionally. Try to do some things to take your mind off everyting that's going on. Read some mindless books, watch some chick flicks, do SUDOKU or crossword puzzles, plan a vacation for when you feel better. Or do things that stimulate your mind, if that's what you need to take your mind off of your recovery.

    Joyce

    Standard recovery 5 weeks
    Ruthie,
    The standard recovery for mastectomy 5 weeks. You should not go to work 14 weeks after your surgery.
    Your experience is normal. Joyce is very correct - take care of yourself. Watch good movie or show, listen your favorite music, and relax.
    Hugs
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #8
    Options
    Hugs to you
    Ruthie I think some of this has to be hormonal. Your body has been radically invaded. I also have been thinking about work, and everyone says rest, take time to heal. I had a lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed in 2 separate surgeries. Take the time to be good to yourself, take time to heal, and its ok to feel down as long as you know you will be up again. It seems to me that this is a roller coaster ride of emotions and we are absolutley entitled to every single one of them, the down and the up ones. I said a prayer for you and am sending a smile and a hug.
  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
    #9
    Options
    natly15 said:

    Hugs to you
    Ruthie I think some of this has to be hormonal. Your body has been radically invaded. I also have been thinking about work, and everyone says rest, take time to heal. I had a lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed in 2 separate surgeries. Take the time to be good to yourself, take time to heal, and its ok to feel down as long as you know you will be up again. It seems to me that this is a roller coaster ride of emotions and we are absolutley entitled to every single one of them, the down and the up ones. I said a prayer for you and am sending a smile and a hug.

    I agree with natly15, your
    I agree with natly15, your body has been radically invaded. Sometimes it takes our emotions awhile to catch up with what is happening/happened in our physical bodies. I agree too that what you're going through is 'normal.' I think grieving over the loss of your breast/s is natural. Your body has been invaded, you've lost something that is part of you, and you're in pain ... of course you're going feel down in the dumps and shed some tears.

    I too, am praying for you.

    [[[gentle hugs]]]
  • jikaras
    jikaras Member Posts: 58
    #10
    Options
    jk1952 said:

    Ruthie, you said something

    Ruthie, you said something about having no desire to go to work. You shouldn't be thinking about work two weeks after your surgery. I was told that with a mastectomy (only) to expect a four to six week recovery period. I had a bilateral mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction and was out of work for eight weeks. I'm not sure what the normal recovery period is for your surgery but it has to be between four and eight weeks, not two. Can anyone else shed light on the normal recovery period?

    Now is the time to take care of yourself, let others help you and don't worry about your normal duties. You have to heal both physically and emotionally. Try to do some things to take your mind off everyting that's going on. Read some mindless books, watch some chick flicks, do SUDOKU or crossword puzzles, plan a vacation for when you feel better. Or do things that stimulate your mind, if that's what you need to take your mind off of your recovery.

    Joyce

    Yes, I had the bilateral and the expanders put in. My surgery was January 12th, and I wasn't cleared to go back to work until March 2nd. Even at that, my surgeon was willing to give me extra time....I said no, but I should have taken her up on the offer.

    When I came back to work, I had a cold and coughing was NOT fun at all. Then, I got an infection in my right breast.

    With that being said, it's the cold and flu season. You MIGHT be feeling well enough to go back to when when your medically cleared, but keep in mind that you'll be picking up all these icky germs that are out there.

    Pace yourself, pamper yourself and enjoy your time off.

    Jill
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #11
    Options
    Dawne.Hope said:

    I agree with natly15, your
    I agree with natly15, your body has been radically invaded. Sometimes it takes our emotions awhile to catch up with what is happening/happened in our physical bodies. I agree too that what you're going through is 'normal.' I think grieving over the loss of your breast/s is natural. Your body has been invaded, you've lost something that is part of you, and you're in pain ... of course you're going feel down in the dumps and shed some tears.

    I too, am praying for you.

    [[[gentle hugs]]]

    Sending you lots of gentle
    Sending you lots of gentle hugs! I hope that you feel better soon!

    Leeza
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    #12
    Options
    No recon here-lumpectomy.
    No recon here-lumpectomy. But I think no matter it takes a while to recover emotionally. I also cried at the drop of a hat for a long, long time. Still more emotional than before the cancer. Hang in there. It will get better.
  • e_hope
    e_hope Member Posts: 370
    #13
    Options
    YES...YES...YES....
    I had the double mastectomy in Feb. I experienced exactly what you are feeling. Its the wonderful roller coaster of emotions the breast cancer puts you on. All I can say.. is try to do somethings that make you happy. be with friends and family. Can you talk to your boss about taking some time off? FMLA will allow you to take 12 weeks off. I did not return to work until today. I allowed myself time to recover from surgery and then had chemo and I am half way through radiation. I only returned to work today..(8 months later)

    You have been through a lot. You lost part of your body and a woman's self image. You are allowed to grieve that loss. I would worry about you if you where totally okay with what has happened. None of us expect to receive this diagnosis. It's a shock!!! It will take time to heal from it, but you can't let it take over you. My goodness your only what two weeks from surgery.. your body needs at least 6 weeks to heal. My plastic surgeon wouldn't even consider letting me return for 6 weeks.

    BE KIND TO YOUR SELF....

    as for the expanders... THEY SUCK!!! They are uncomfortable. and as they are filling them it is normal to have pressure, tightening, and pain. Everything is being streached and pulled. you had things sewn to your ribs to make the undercup. you need to massage them frequently. It will help... and in time the pain and pressure and tightening will subside. but to be honest... they will look great in clothes but feel like total crap.. However.. I have heard the silicone implants will be much better..

    I know I can't wait for my exchange. Hopefully sometime in late Dec...

    Why don't you get some of your best girl friends and go out for dinner.

    TRY not to be so hard on yourself... I have found when I am having a bad day... (which I have had quite a few since my diagnosis) writing my feelings in a journal has helped. '

    I wish you the best... remember.. YOUR NOT ALONE... where all here for you...

Discussion Boards