I lost my mother

Hello
Hello, Heather.

I'm so sorry to read about your mother. It sounds like y'all had a wonderful relationship.

Please continue to be a part of our group. I think it will be a great comfort to you.

*hugs*
Gail

kitty44 said:

My story is so much like
My story is so much like your story! My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in Aug. '04 and she passed away this past June 16........nearly 5 years later. She was 54 years old. I didn't take her to all of her chemo treatments but the last month and half I was with her almost every single day. My Dad and I were with her when she died. It was very hard to see her like that but it is something I will always cherish for as long as I live. I miss her so much!!! I talked to her every day. She was my best friend, even when we didn't see eye to eye. She was always there for me! I just can't believe she is gone! She had endured 5 long years of constant chemo. But she really had good health that it seemed as though she would be with us forever, but the last 8 months she began to hurt more. I am so glad she is out of her pain now. I have 2 boys, 5 & 4. They have really been good for me. I try not to let them see me cry too much, because I don't want them to think that because Grandma is gone as a "bad" thing. I want them to feel "happy" that she is in Heaven and in NO more PAIN you know? But it's really hard to not seem so sad sometimes. They've seen me cry and they too have cried. We all just really miss her. I think we are very much alike. I can honestly say I DO have an idea of how you feel. I am 33 and just lost my Mom to cancer too! I am so sorry for your loss! All of these holidays that are coming up will be really hard. I pray that you will find peace in these moments. Remember those "happy" times with your Mom. Focus on those. How is your Dad doing by the way? My parents would've been married 35 years this Dec. If you would like to talk I would love to have someone to talk to also, someone who understands me too. God bless you!

Heather, KC and kitty
I am so sorry for your loss. The pain feels like it will never go away. But, it does, We never forget our loved one, but the pain does ease. Just know that all these wonderful people are praying for you.

I was reading a book last week and the main character was struggling with his nearing death. He had a visit from a friend who reminded him of a story that went like this. His mother loved entertaining and preparing meals for company. After the meal was finished she would always say "Keep your forks, as the best is yet to come". This friend reminded him that while our life here is wonderful, our "best is yet to come". This gave the dying man a sense of calmness and he was no longer afraid. When he died, his wife placed a fork in his hand at the funeral. It wasn't for several years that anyone asked about the odd occurrence.

You can volunteer in your mom's name. Get involved with your local ACS. Most of all, take care of yourself and give yourself time.

hi,
Hello I am so sorry for your lose. I to lost my mother to lung cancer june 2 2009. You truely can never understand until it hits home. it is an experince i wish i never had to go through but i am greatful we had those 6 months and one day from dignosis. but i truely hoped we'd have another christmas wirh her. Its very hard thanksgiving is the first real holiday without her. and im cooking the turkey. I remember last thanksgiving she was her with us. we cooked together. I am going to try and make the best of it i know she would want us to be happy and all..I am having a hard time with it at this moment. i was so strong for so long idk why i can't keep it together all of a sudden. geez just wanted to know i know how your feeling.

Hi There
Hi There,

First I want to say I am so sorry for your loss. It's something that is really hard to understand until you are sitting where you are. I wish it weren't any of us, but this is where we are. And the truth is that it really is plain horrible and painful.

I just lost my mother on Oct 21st to colon cancer after she battled for 10 years. Like many of you on this board, my sister, father and I had the amazing experience of caring for my mom and being with her all the time during her last weeks. You would think that 10 years of knowing would prepare someone for the dreaded day, but it doesn't. Someone said it right, there is a sense of panic when I can't call her. It's like a key ingredient to every day is missing. I talk to her often in my mind, I just really wish she'd be around to answer. Going to my parents house is so hard because it's still painful to think she won't be there when I open the door to the house. My dad is in pain that one can only experience after losing the love of your life after 47 years of marriage. I just think he's lucky to have felt the love that they had.

I have two little girls, 3 and 6 who miss their grandma and we talk about her often. My 6 year old has consoled me many times, it's amazing the faith that little ones have. I've let the kids see me cry, I think it's ok for them to see you grieve, if anything to let them know it's ok for them to let it out when they are sad too. But, this is totally personal and everyone handles it in their own way.

Heather, do get a colonoscopy. I think with your family history and your medical history you would get it covered under insurance without a problem. I'm sure you learned this with your mom, but when it comes to your health few doctors will advocate for you, you really have to drive the car. I am 35 now, but I had a colonoscopy when I was 27, a few years after my mom was diagnosed. It was a relief that all was well, but I am planning to have another at 37. The test itself is not a big deal, drinking the nasty drink is the worst part, just have some soft toilet paper! :-)

I personally nag everyone I know to get colonoscopies before 50. I tell my friends to make sure their parents have gotten screened. There are so many people over 50 that have not gotten screened and the biggest risk factor for colon cancer is age. I'm sure there are a ton of ACS avenues to give back. I'm searching for that sort of thing too.

Like you, I feel like I still have lots of grieving to do and I wish I had some more time and space to do so. I feel really slow, I need so much more sleep than I used to, and it's hard for me to put on a "happy face." My close work colleagues have been incredibly supportive. Some folks have been awkward, but think it's because people really don't know what to say or how to act in these situations. Notice the people that know what to say, often are the ones that have been through it.

Anyways, sorry for the book... I just really feel where you are and I'm here for you if you'd like to vent.
Take care,
Paulina
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P.S. Please do go get checked out!