Pre-op today and more discouraging news.......

Hissy_Fitz
Hissy_Fitz Member Posts: 1,834
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
My CA125 was 4,000. I called an oncology RN - daughter of my husband's golfing buddy - and she affirmed that that was VERY high but next week brings what it brings. I have no control over anything at this point, so I am trying to just put one foot in front of the other and telling myself that maybe tomorrow I won't, but today, right this minute, I still have a life.

Every morning I wake up just as I always did, and then, in a heartbeat, the realization comes crashing down.......I have Cancer. It's awful.

I have decided to make my doctor a promise.......that I will fight as long and hard as he will. If he doesn't give up, I won't either.

Wishing you all the best,
Carlene

Comments

  • jamilou
    jamilou Member Posts: 200
    #2
    You are amazing!
    Carlene
    What an amazing attitude that you have and that is what is going to get you through this! Everyone has their "pity parties" and crying sessions but if you can get beyond that and get to the fight mode than you will do well! I am so sorry that you are having such stress over your numbers but soon you will be able to start chemo and do something proactive. That will help. Good luck to you!
    Hugs
    Jami
  • BonnieR
    BonnieR Member Posts: 1,526 Member
    #3
    A big Atta Girl
    Dear Carlene, You have put on a great attitude and I am going to echo Saundra in another post or similar. It gets better once you are in battle and believe me you will fight harder adn longer than your Doc. Hugs ♥ Prayers Bonnie
  • saundra
    saundra Member Posts: 1,370 Member
    #4
    Dear Carlene
    Do I detect the "Warrior" emerging? You do learn fast! Remember that God is always with you in this battle.
    Yes, that loss of control thing is troublesome for strong women. Psalm 91 has been my mainstay.

    My CA125 was 2999 at first, dropped to 299 after two chemo treatments of taxol and carbo, and then to 35 after two more and the surgery. So the lesson from that is that my body gives a good reading for that blood test because the CT scan before surgery showed the tumors shrunk from 2.5 cm to 1 cm with the chemo before surgery. I suppose sometime in the future, that blood test may change because my body is changing all the time. Who knows?

    Have I mentioned that I get copies of every blood test, CT scan, pathology report, etc.? That way, I am keeping my own file. Came in handy this week when I interviewed a new internist to handle colds, etc as they pop up. My oncologist had been doing this but he is so busy that I thought it best to get another doctor in the loop.

    Here is a hug for you. (((HUG))) Saundra
  • TDodds68
    TDodds68 Member Posts: 29
    #5
    saundra said:

    Dear Carlene
    Do I detect the "Warrior" emerging? You do learn fast! Remember that God is always with you in this battle.
    Yes, that loss of control thing is troublesome for strong women. Psalm 91 has been my mainstay.

    My CA125 was 2999 at first, dropped to 299 after two chemo treatments of taxol and carbo, and then to 35 after two more and the surgery. So the lesson from that is that my body gives a good reading for that blood test because the CT scan before surgery showed the tumors shrunk from 2.5 cm to 1 cm with the chemo before surgery. I suppose sometime in the future, that blood test may change because my body is changing all the time. Who knows?

    Have I mentioned that I get copies of every blood test, CT scan, pathology report, etc.? That way, I am keeping my own file. Came in handy this week when I interviewed a new internist to handle colds, etc as they pop up. My oncologist had been doing this but he is so busy that I thought it best to get another doctor in the loop.

    Here is a hug for you. (((HUG))) Saundra

    Prayer
    You are in my prayers.

    My CA125 was 2838 before surgery and dropped to 52 after surgery after the 1st chemo it dropped to 12 it got to 5 at the lowest and went back up to 7 the last time I checked. The high number doesn't mean it is the worst even though my number was almost 3000 3 days before surgery I was only stage 1C so keep up the faith.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #6
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • jane65
    jane65 Member Posts: 277
    #7
    Carlene
    Hi Carlene,

    Like so many of the ladies here, I understand and empathize with what you're saying. We are the group who really "get it".

    I've looked in the mirror in the morning and the same shocking realization comes to me, "I have cancer, not everyone has cancer, but I have cancer." Yes, I feel badly for me, I don't want to have this cancer without a cure..

    For some unknown reason, I can't cry, I think I've cried 3 times in the past 2 1/2 years. Maybe I'm afraid I won't be able to stop.

    I look at my husband and think,"his wife has cancer, not everyone's wife has cancer, but his wife has cancer." His face has a sadness and tiredness to it and I feel so bad for him.

    I've chosen to deal with it through strength and anger. How DARE this monster who invaded MY body uninvited, and wants to destroy it. How DARE it take up residence in me!

    I will fight as hard as I can to drive it out every time it raises it's ugly head, until I can no longer fight.

    My doctor made that promise with me, to not give up and do everything he can to give me the best health, and best quality of life, for as long as he can.

    You hang in there girl, one day at a time, one step at a time is all we can do.

    good health to us all!!
    Jane
  • jane65
    jane65 Member Posts: 277
    #8
    saundra said:

    Dear Carlene
    Do I detect the "Warrior" emerging? You do learn fast! Remember that God is always with you in this battle.
    Yes, that loss of control thing is troublesome for strong women. Psalm 91 has been my mainstay.

    My CA125 was 2999 at first, dropped to 299 after two chemo treatments of taxol and carbo, and then to 35 after two more and the surgery. So the lesson from that is that my body gives a good reading for that blood test because the CT scan before surgery showed the tumors shrunk from 2.5 cm to 1 cm with the chemo before surgery. I suppose sometime in the future, that blood test may change because my body is changing all the time. Who knows?

    Have I mentioned that I get copies of every blood test, CT scan, pathology report, etc.? That way, I am keeping my own file. Came in handy this week when I interviewed a new internist to handle colds, etc as they pop up. My oncologist had been doing this but he is so busy that I thought it best to get another doctor in the loop.

    Here is a hug for you. (((HUG))) Saundra

    Saundra
    Hi Saundra,
    My oncologist suggested the same thing, that I "hire" a new Internist to deal with my thyroid condition, high blood pressure and anything non cancer related.

    At my SIL suggestion years ago, I also get copies of every test, bone density, mammogram, etc. and make a copy for each of my doctors.

    We're such a smart bunch of ladies!

    Take care and feel well.
    Jane
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    #9
    Dear Carlene,
    you have had some great advice and encouragement, just want to echo everyone else's support. Hang in there, I can tell that you are very strong and have what it takes to fight this thing, even though you don't feel that way right now. The number is high, but some women have a lower number and have more disease and some are higher and have less. It is kind of relative as far as "how much" is there. It definitely will go down after surgery and chemo., along with the cancer. Wishing you the very best!
    Warm hugs and prayers,
    kathleen:)

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