Still anxious

grammadebbie
grammadebbie Member Posts: 464
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi Everyone,

I'm fairly new hear and have been soooo blessed to have found you all. (2007 emergency surgery for bowel obstruction, 2 obstructions, 1 lemon size cancer, 12 in resection, 8/38 lymph nodes positive, Stage IIIc, 6 mo chemo.) Wish I would have found you back in 2007 when this all began. I have learned so much and been so encouraged here. Thank you all. It's so nice to be able to share with people who understand. Even if we're not all in agreement we all have understanding.

I had all my labs and CT scan for my appointment on Monday 14h with Oncologist. I get so anxious. I thought it might get easier with time. I still feel like Monday could change my life. I havn't been feeling good for about the last month so that always give additional anxiety. I know you all understand. I have a lot of faith and really try to keep positive but sometimes that fear just pops up. Would appreciate your prayers. You are all so kind. Will let you know how things go.

Blessings to you all,

Debbie

Comments

  • GOOFYLADIE
    GOOFYLADIE Member Posts: 232 Member
    #2
    There's a time to worry and a time to keep on moving forward
    Hi, I am fairly new to the sight but I say this is pretty much old hat for me. I am a stage IV Dukes C Carcinoma colon cancer survivor of 11 years119 of the 32 lymph nodes were positive with a grapefruit sized positive mass removed. I don't mean I am surviving; I mean I have been clear for 11 years. I have testing done all the time because I was only 31 when I got cancer. So for research sake, which there was none at the time. We are a little over cautious. But it does get easier while waiting for the results if you keep moving forward and live your life. Anxiety will always be here in some kind of form because anytime something doesnt fit right, feel right we want to go straight to oh I got it again or it has spread. Sometimes life just makes us not feel good. ALL THAT being said I have learned to save the worrying for when the doctor says its time to worry and fight. Because the needless worry wears us down so that if we do have to fight we put all our energy into worry when we could be storing it up for the battle. You sound it good spirits and attitude is everything. You state you have faith, believe in your faith and rely on it alot, especially or blind faith it carries us when we do not know what else to do. That blind faith can lift you when nothing else is working. I placed a prayer along with everyone who is struggling with this helacious disease. My ride was a wild ride, it wasn't easy and it wasnt fast. I was a case of Murphy's Law thru the entire process. Sometimes.....you just have to let go, do what the doctors tell you and fill yourself with all the knowledge you can about this disease it is your shield against it. Make it a Great day!!
    Goofyladie (Cass)
  • hannacat
    hannacat Member Posts: 101
    #3
    GOOFYLADIE said:

    There's a time to worry and a time to keep on moving forward
    Hi, I am fairly new to the sight but I say this is pretty much old hat for me. I am a stage IV Dukes C Carcinoma colon cancer survivor of 11 years119 of the 32 lymph nodes were positive with a grapefruit sized positive mass removed. I don't mean I am surviving; I mean I have been clear for 11 years. I have testing done all the time because I was only 31 when I got cancer. So for research sake, which there was none at the time. We are a little over cautious. But it does get easier while waiting for the results if you keep moving forward and live your life. Anxiety will always be here in some kind of form because anytime something doesnt fit right, feel right we want to go straight to oh I got it again or it has spread. Sometimes life just makes us not feel good. ALL THAT being said I have learned to save the worrying for when the doctor says its time to worry and fight. Because the needless worry wears us down so that if we do have to fight we put all our energy into worry when we could be storing it up for the battle. You sound it good spirits and attitude is everything. You state you have faith, believe in your faith and rely on it alot, especially or blind faith it carries us when we do not know what else to do. That blind faith can lift you when nothing else is working. I placed a prayer along with everyone who is struggling with this helacious disease. My ride was a wild ride, it wasn't easy and it wasnt fast. I was a case of Murphy's Law thru the entire process. Sometimes.....you just have to let go, do what the doctors tell you and fill yourself with all the knowledge you can about this disease it is your shield against it. Make it a Great day!!
    Goofyladie (Cass)

    To everything there is a season
    Hi,I am a 111b person that was diagnosed the day after Thanksgiving in 2005. I had surgery in early december and 1 lymph was positive. For the next 6 mos.(starting 6 weeks post op) I had 5fu,lucovorin,and oxiliaplatinum,along with any drug they could sling at me for loads of complications. Neuropathy in feet lasts to this day.

    Got to say you don't sound very goofy to me - unless you had a "thing" for that Disney character.

    Letting go and not worrying about what we cannot control is a life long lesson. I love to hear about people who can move it along. I can do that sometimes but not always.

    May I ask a question? You are 11 years "out" and yet new to this site. Do you think that support by our particular club is needed forever? Is it interest in mentoring the "newbees"?

    Respectfully, just asking.

    Hanna
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #4
    hannacat said:

    To everything there is a season
    Hi,I am a 111b person that was diagnosed the day after Thanksgiving in 2005. I had surgery in early december and 1 lymph was positive. For the next 6 mos.(starting 6 weeks post op) I had 5fu,lucovorin,and oxiliaplatinum,along with any drug they could sling at me for loads of complications. Neuropathy in feet lasts to this day.

    Got to say you don't sound very goofy to me - unless you had a "thing" for that Disney character.

    Letting go and not worrying about what we cannot control is a life long lesson. I love to hear about people who can move it along. I can do that sometimes but not always.

    May I ask a question? You are 11 years "out" and yet new to this site. Do you think that support by our particular club is needed forever? Is it interest in mentoring the "newbees"?

    Respectfully, just asking.

    Hanna

    May I add to that please........
    I think support is always needed because we are constantly being reminded everyday about how fallible we are and the ease at which this disease can sneak back up on us. This group gives me the chance to be with the people that know my feelings the best even though I have never met them face to face. Each patient survivor if you will needs the caring and understanding that only another cancer patient can know and give them. In my opinion this is a place of residence that will always be part of my life simply because of the people that kept me going when I thought there wasn't any hope.
    There are soooo many newbies out there that without us they are going to go through some bad experiences when if in here we can for the most part guide them in the right direction or give them what they grasp for the most,"HOPE", and God only knows they need to feel that constantly. I was given that hope in here by people giving of their time and allowing me to be at ease with my feelings and share my journey with ones who have been there done that. Its like a cure here, there are so many with different opinions that like a cure, one is going to work just right for a certain individual so yes, I think the more "Old Timers" we have in here that easier the journey for the newbies will be. Hopefully one of these days there will be a "last one" to suffer from this disease. That's what we all strive for.....Thank you for allowing me add to this......
  • Jimbob-
    Jimbob- Member Posts: 46
    #5
    Buzzard said:

    May I add to that please........
    I think support is always needed because we are constantly being reminded everyday about how fallible we are and the ease at which this disease can sneak back up on us. This group gives me the chance to be with the people that know my feelings the best even though I have never met them face to face. Each patient survivor if you will needs the caring and understanding that only another cancer patient can know and give them. In my opinion this is a place of residence that will always be part of my life simply because of the people that kept me going when I thought there wasn't any hope.
    There are soooo many newbies out there that without us they are going to go through some bad experiences when if in here we can for the most part guide them in the right direction or give them what they grasp for the most,"HOPE", and God only knows they need to feel that constantly. I was given that hope in here by people giving of their time and allowing me to be at ease with my feelings and share my journey with ones who have been there done that. Its like a cure here, there are so many with different opinions that like a cure, one is going to work just right for a certain individual so yes, I think the more "Old Timers" we have in here that easier the journey for the newbies will be. Hopefully one of these days there will be a "last one" to suffer from this disease. That's what we all strive for.....Thank you for allowing me add to this......

    Support
    I do not post much on the discussion boards. However i read them a lot.

    Ido go a lot on the Chat room. I think both places are extremely helpful.

    We all need comfort and reassurance.

    Long time survivors are an inspiration.

    In my own case I was diagnosed with Colorectal cancer in April 2005, Ten days later I had the Rectum removed and woke up with an Ostomy and a permanent Bag.

    In a Chat room I met an 80 year old woman who has had an ostomy for 54 years. She Dated, Married , Had Children, and ran a business. Her inspiration helped me immensely.

    Yes everyone needs support keep it coming, We never ever know who we touch....
  • grammadebbie
    grammadebbie Member Posts: 464
    #6
    Thank you
    Thanks for all your prayers. They really help.

    Blessings to you all,

    Debbie (gramma)
  • grammadebbie
    grammadebbie Member Posts: 464
    #7
    Lost
    Hi everyone,

    Think I got lost. (See original post) I'm still anxious and on my way to doctor today. Havn't been feeling good for the last month. Not to late or too proud to ask for more prayers. I know you all understand.

    Thanks and Blessings to you all.

    Debbie (gramma)

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