Father doesn't want treatment for NHL

tjo66
tjo66 Member Posts: 29
edited March 2014 in Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin) #1
My father is 82 and newely diagnosed 2 weeks ago. He had a bone marrow test, ct scan, pet scan and ecocardiagram this week. He told us that he does not want cemo or radiation treatment and I respect that. I am already caring for my mom who has COPD and is a 24 hour watch. I guess I am just scared because I don't know what to expect from this sort of cancer. I don't want to ask his Dr. in front of him, but is he going to die a long painful death? Has anyone ever had a family member with this? I want to stand by him and honor his wishes but it is going to be so hard. He already has no energy at all. But I am not sure whether it is the disease or he has already given up. We have a Dr. appointment this Tuesday, August 4th and I guess he will tell us how progressed the cancer is and if it's in his bones yet. If anyone out there can offer me any peace of mind please do. I feel so alone right now.

Comments

  • MichelleLea
    MichelleLea Member Posts: 6
    #2
    Hope
    Hi:

    I'm sorry to hear about your father. One of the most important things to do, is make sure that he knows that he has your support. That you will be there for him, every step of the way. When you visit the doctor, please find out what stage, there are usually 4 stages to NHL. For many, finding out that you have cancer, can take a toll on the individual, mentally, physically, and emotionally. That may be what's happening with your father. However, with lots of love, support, and pep talks full of encouragement, from you, and others who love him, hopefully, he will gain a will to fight! Some people refuse to take chemo because of what it does to the body and how it makes one feel, (sick, nauseous, sometimes even weak.) You may research NHL and write down any, and all questions that you want to ask the doctor. You must also take care of you! Join cancer support groups in your area. If you have a pastor, speak with him/her about your feelings. You may read about my personal story with NHL on healthmad.com. Title: "Never Bring Fear to a Cancer Fight."

    The best of wishes! Hope this helps!
  • tjo66
    tjo66 Member Posts: 29
    #3
    MichelleLea said:

    Hope
    Hi:

    I'm sorry to hear about your father. One of the most important things to do, is make sure that he knows that he has your support. That you will be there for him, every step of the way. When you visit the doctor, please find out what stage, there are usually 4 stages to NHL. For many, finding out that you have cancer, can take a toll on the individual, mentally, physically, and emotionally. That may be what's happening with your father. However, with lots of love, support, and pep talks full of encouragement, from you, and others who love him, hopefully, he will gain a will to fight! Some people refuse to take chemo because of what it does to the body and how it makes one feel, (sick, nauseous, sometimes even weak.) You may research NHL and write down any, and all questions that you want to ask the doctor. You must also take care of you! Join cancer support groups in your area. If you have a pastor, speak with him/her about your feelings. You may read about my personal story with NHL on healthmad.com. Title: "Never Bring Fear to a Cancer Fight."

    The best of wishes! Hope this helps!

    Hope
    MichelleLea, Thank you for your encouraging words. Since my last post, my father has decided to go wlith the rituxan treatment. He has already had his first treatment and so far no side affects. He goes for second treatment this Thursday and I hope all will be well with this. Truth of the matter is I am probably more scared than him. Thanks, tjo
  • tjo66
    tjo66 Member Posts: 29
    #4
    tjo66 said:

    Hope
    MichelleLea, Thank you for your encouraging words. Since my last post, my father has decided to go wlith the rituxan treatment. He has already had his first treatment and so far no side affects. He goes for second treatment this Thursday and I hope all will be well with this. Truth of the matter is I am probably more scared than him. Thanks, tjo

    Change of Plans
    There is now a change of plans, dad decided to go with the rituxan tx. So far so good. Had his first tx last Friday. Wasn't able to go to day becuase of elevated BP. Driving 90 miles round trip just to find out you can't have the tx today. Geeze. How frustrating.
  • MichelleLea
    MichelleLea Member Posts: 6
    #5
    tjo66 said:

    Change of Plans
    There is now a change of plans, dad decided to go with the rituxan tx. So far so good. Had his first tx last Friday. Wasn't able to go to day becuase of elevated BP. Driving 90 miles round trip just to find out you can't have the tx today. Geeze. How frustrating.

    CHANGE OF PLANS
    Hang in there!
  • tjo66
    tjo66 Member Posts: 29
    #6
    MichelleLea said:

    CHANGE OF PLANS
    Hang in there!

    Tx Didn't Work, Please Help
    we just got the results back from the catscan, 3 tumors grew one shrank. He doesn't think he wants chemo. I need to know what to expect if he decides not to have it. Can anyone out there that has been a caregiver for a NHL patient before tell what to expect. Is he going to be in great pain, will he go easy, what can I do to help him other than just be here for him.
    I just want to help him so much and there is nothing I feel like I can do. I don't know if he has 6 months or 1 year or 2 years. I do know the tumors are growing pretty fast but thats about it. I hope someone can help me have peace with this.

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