Husband Just Diagnosed - UPDATE
He is very positive and I am the one who seems overwhelmed! Of course, I am not indicating this to him... stiff upper lip and all.
I will be here for support I am sure, I have already read so much info that has been helpful.
Comments
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I did 6 weeks of chemo once
I did 6 weeks of chemo once a week with Taxol and carboplatin and erbitux then 7 weeks of radiation with doubles on friday plus Cisplatin chemo daily on weeks 1,4 and 7 then i had a radical neck dissection .
Its 11 months since radiation ended and 9 months since the neck dissection.
I feel great now . Boy did last year suck.. It is hard but i feel worth it.
Get a peg tube and a port and then just get as much food and water in you as possible. The more food and water you get in you the better you feel..0 -
one year into Diagnosis
I know how you feel, my husband was dx a year ago with head and neck cancer stage 4, we have been through several chemo treatments and start a new trial study on Monday if his labs are good, he did 33 treatments of radiation, that was rough, be prepare, it is so rough, I can give you alot of tips to make it a little better, I can tell you what to expect if you like, it is good to know what to expect , we did not , and it is great find a really good support, Jack has been going through this a year now, if I can help and share any advise let me know
Patty0 -
Thank You - One Chemo Down!
Thank you for the words of wisdom. Our first chemo was Friday (carbo/taxol combo) and we have five more. Then 5 weeks of radiation/chemo combo. Fun stuff.
My husband is doing ok. His main problem so far has been joint pain from the Neupogen shots (for which blood cell count building) he is taking daily. He is taking Tylenol during the day and pain pill at night to sleep.
We can get through this weekly chemo part ok, the part that I am really scared and worried about is when we get to daily radiation and chemo. But I am trying to take it one day at a time.0 -
theres 3 of us in the marriage now! him, me and the Ckimmygarland said:Thank You - One Chemo Down!
Thank you for the words of wisdom. Our first chemo was Friday (carbo/taxol combo) and we have five more. Then 5 weeks of radiation/chemo combo. Fun stuff.
My husband is doing ok. His main problem so far has been joint pain from the Neupogen shots (for which blood cell count building) he is taking daily. He is taking Tylenol during the day and pain pill at night to sleep.
We can get through this weekly chemo part ok, the part that I am really scared and worried about is when we get to daily radiation and chemo. But I am trying to take it one day at a time.
husband diagnosed two weeks ago with cancer of left side oftongue they say minimal, which is good, but 3cm tumour back of throat and into lymph nodes ,(a lump in neck came up two days after flu in July )Doc said poss glands prob, then waited two weeks for ENT , then anaother two weeks for result and so on ,) been so many appointments! all takse so long , Just had pre op assessment today and 1st september in for radical left neck dissection , then 7 weeks of daily radiotherapy and one chemo weekly . I keep clinging onto the words of the surgeon who told us , it will be a cure at the end of thsi ,
He gave up smoking same day as diagnosed ,eating sweets madly /chewing gum all day , but Im proud of him,....but Ive told him if he dosent soon buy sweets I dont like Im off1cos the huge bowls of goodies around our home are a distraction to an overweight wife ..........and we will end up diabetixs at this rate! we both have wicked sense of humour and that will get us through the hard times ahaed im sure we are going to need it .....
its great to hear other peoples stories of survival and the tips of what to expect , and Ive stocked up on the jellies . rice pud and milk shake ready ......at least their things I dont like !
I wish everyone on here all the very best and will look in from time to time ,its good to know we are not alaone .
As I say theres 3 of us in this marriage now, him, me and cancer , and Ill fight her for him all the way .
val
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mine tooHondo said:Huband Just Diagnosed
Kimmy
Hang in there your husband is going to need you there all the way; I could not have done it with out my Wife by my side. I will keep your both in my Prayers
mines just been diagnosed too, tumour left side of neck and left side of tongue , surgery 1st september to remove tumour and as many lymph nodes as poss then 7 weeks radiotherapy and one chemo weekly , gonna be along haul but they have asaid its a cure so Im hanging onto thsoe words
im here if you want to chat
val0 -
daignosed at the same time
My husband was diagnosed at the same time yours was. He has now completed 4 weeks of radiation with 14 more rads to go. He also has an erbitux injection once a week. Protocol for his oncologists was to put the feeding tube in prior to the start of treatment and we are so glad. He's a big guy so losing weight is a little less dangerous for him and it does come off fast. He drinks water but is not interested in eating food at all. He sleeps alot and is very fatigued, but continues to try and be upbeat and cheerful. This afternoon he popped a vicadin and walked to our local theater to see a movie. I am proud of his efforts. I'm sure you know that they need alot of support and help to get through all of this, and the toughest part I think will be that when the treatment ends the side effects will linger for quite awhile. Keep your chin up and treat yourself to time with your girlfriends when you can get away.
PK0 -
PKpk said:daignosed at the same time
My husband was diagnosed at the same time yours was. He has now completed 4 weeks of radiation with 14 more rads to go. He also has an erbitux injection once a week. Protocol for his oncologists was to put the feeding tube in prior to the start of treatment and we are so glad. He's a big guy so losing weight is a little less dangerous for him and it does come off fast. He drinks water but is not interested in eating food at all. He sleeps alot and is very fatigued, but continues to try and be upbeat and cheerful. This afternoon he popped a vicadin and walked to our local theater to see a movie. I am proud of his efforts. I'm sure you know that they need alot of support and help to get through all of this, and the toughest part I think will be that when the treatment ends the side effects will linger for quite awhile. Keep your chin up and treat yourself to time with your girlfriends when you can get away.
PK
PK
Is your husband having any side effects from the Erbitux? Mine is having a heck of a time with the rash on his face and conjuctivitis in his eyes. Both are side effects known to the drug -- I looked them up.0 -
Yup. He has quite a rash onnewbride said:PK
PK
Is your husband having any side effects from the Erbitux? Mine is having a heck of a time with the rash on his face and conjuctivitis in his eyes. Both are side effects known to the drug -- I looked them up.
Yup. He has quite a rash on his face and chest as well as eye gunk. His oncologist told us that there is not a scientific study done on the rash side effect, but patients who get it seem to have better outcomes with the treatment than those who don't.0 -
Another helpful blog
My husband was diagnosed with throat cancer 6/30/09 (our daughters birthday). Another helpful blog site is "Blog for the Cure." Cancer patients and caregivers share their stories, fears, questions, etc. (We are simply listed as "K")
My husband is in the hospital now from chemo #2 side effects. HIs last radiation is today and his last chemo is in two weeks.
You are at a VERY overwhelming stage. Don't be afraid to get more than one opinion. We went to the Cleveland Clinic for ours. We actually used their information to determine our course of treatment at a closer hospital that Cleveland felt comfortable with.
We did the feeding tube while the "white blood cell" count was normal and Mark was healthy "just in case." You will use the feeding tube. It's not as bad as it sounds. My worst moment was when I saw our 12 year old son helping his Dad with the tube. A father son moment that one NEVER expects to see and should never have to experience. I had to leave the room and gain composure. They were both calm and it wasn't a big deal...I was the one wth the problem. I was just used to seeing them share moments over homework, on a golf course, at a soccer game. Anyway...you can do it!!! You will do it and you WILL get thru it.
Anxious to getting to the "other side,"
Kathy0 -
Getting through it is anKwillis said:Another helpful blog
My husband was diagnosed with throat cancer 6/30/09 (our daughters birthday). Another helpful blog site is "Blog for the Cure." Cancer patients and caregivers share their stories, fears, questions, etc. (We are simply listed as "K")
My husband is in the hospital now from chemo #2 side effects. HIs last radiation is today and his last chemo is in two weeks.
You are at a VERY overwhelming stage. Don't be afraid to get more than one opinion. We went to the Cleveland Clinic for ours. We actually used their information to determine our course of treatment at a closer hospital that Cleveland felt comfortable with.
We did the feeding tube while the "white blood cell" count was normal and Mark was healthy "just in case." You will use the feeding tube. It's not as bad as it sounds. My worst moment was when I saw our 12 year old son helping his Dad with the tube. A father son moment that one NEVER expects to see and should never have to experience. I had to leave the room and gain composure. They were both calm and it wasn't a big deal...I was the one wth the problem. I was just used to seeing them share moments over homework, on a golf course, at a soccer game. Anyway...you can do it!!! You will do it and you WILL get thru it.
Anxious to getting to the "other side,"
Kathy
Kathy,
Getting through it is an experience of a lifetime. We just came from my husband's 21st rad and met with the oncologist. The Dr. told us that Bob was managing his rad and chemo better than most at this stage. He is tough and has very few breakdowns. Your son is a special guy - kids do so much more than we ever expect from them-they do have such gentle hearts. I agree, thank goodness for the feeding tube. It is NOT as bad as it sounds.
Take good care. Have a great weekend. Don't forget to hang out with your girlfriends and have a gin and tonic if you are so inclined.
Phyllis0 -
Chemo #3 Downpk said:Getting through it is an
Kathy,
Getting through it is an experience of a lifetime. We just came from my husband's 21st rad and met with the oncologist. The Dr. told us that Bob was managing his rad and chemo better than most at this stage. He is tough and has very few breakdowns. Your son is a special guy - kids do so much more than we ever expect from them-they do have such gentle hearts. I agree, thank goodness for the feeding tube. It is NOT as bad as it sounds.
Take good care. Have a great weekend. Don't forget to hang out with your girlfriends and have a gin and tonic if you are so inclined.
Phyllis
Looks like there are a lot of us here just getting started. My husband had weekly Chemo #3 on Monday. We have three more. He is doing ok.... has a couple days of flu-like symptoms per week. The rest of the time he says he just "doesn't have any gumption", in his words. The Neupogen shots (he takes 3 per week) are making his bones ache, that has really been his worst complaint to this point.
Yesterday his hair started falling out. I don't know why this bothers me, as he is practically bald anyway - but I have a feeling it will be difficult for me emotionally. (Silly, I know) He says at this point that's minor to him.
He does not have the feeding tube yet. At the beginning of all this they said he would get it, but I'm not sure when they actually put it in. I need to ask next week. It may be in the 2-3 weeks between when the weekly chemos end and we start the lovely chemo/radiation combo.0 -
Chemo #4 Downkimmygarland said:Chemo #3 Down
Looks like there are a lot of us here just getting started. My husband had weekly Chemo #3 on Monday. We have three more. He is doing ok.... has a couple days of flu-like symptoms per week. The rest of the time he says he just "doesn't have any gumption", in his words. The Neupogen shots (he takes 3 per week) are making his bones ache, that has really been his worst complaint to this point.
Yesterday his hair started falling out. I don't know why this bothers me, as he is practically bald anyway - but I have a feeling it will be difficult for me emotionally. (Silly, I know) He says at this point that's minor to him.
He does not have the feeding tube yet. At the beginning of all this they said he would get it, but I'm not sure when they actually put it in. I need to ask next week. It may be in the 2-3 weeks between when the weekly chemos end and we start the lovely chemo/radiation combo.
Had Chemo treatment #4 today. He has been doing so well (his bloodwork is good, kidneys are doing well - he is diabetic, etc.) they added a little more to his dosage today. Hope we don't have more side effects.
A man came in to the chemo office today with very bad burns on his neck. It was heartbreaking and I know it scared the kr*p out of my husband. Actually, he thought the man had, had surgery.... but I knew what it was. I didn't have the heart to tell him. Hoping we don't have anything that severe.
This is quite a journey, and still very scary. I don't worry so much about the outcome - as we are being told he has very high rate (80-90% chance) of cure. It's the dang process to get there that is overwhelming on some days. But today was a good day. One day at a time is what I have to keep reminding myself.0 -
Kimmygarlandkimmygarland said:Chemo #4 Down
Had Chemo treatment #4 today. He has been doing so well (his bloodwork is good, kidneys are doing well - he is diabetic, etc.) they added a little more to his dosage today. Hope we don't have more side effects.
A man came in to the chemo office today with very bad burns on his neck. It was heartbreaking and I know it scared the kr*p out of my husband. Actually, he thought the man had, had surgery.... but I knew what it was. I didn't have the heart to tell him. Hoping we don't have anything that severe.
This is quite a journey, and still very scary. I don't worry so much about the outcome - as we are being told he has very high rate (80-90% chance) of cure. It's the dang process to get there that is overwhelming on some days. But today was a good day. One day at a time is what I have to keep reminding myself.
The Journey is
Kimmygarland
The Journey is something else. My husband has 11 radiation treatments left and does not have burns on the side of his neck yet, but I know what you mean when you see what this can do to the skin. Maybe both of them will get lucky and not have such an adverse reaction. I don't worry much anymore either. I think we get too busy caregiving and as I said in earlier posts, my girlfriends have been my lifeline to normalcy.
I try to tell myself that everyday is a good day, because it's one day closer to the end of treatment. Keep smiling, kimmygarland!!!
PK0 -
Gin & tonicpk said:Getting through it is an
Kathy,
Getting through it is an experience of a lifetime. We just came from my husband's 21st rad and met with the oncologist. The Dr. told us that Bob was managing his rad and chemo better than most at this stage. He is tough and has very few breakdowns. Your son is a special guy - kids do so much more than we ever expect from them-they do have such gentle hearts. I agree, thank goodness for the feeding tube. It is NOT as bad as it sounds.
Take good care. Have a great weekend. Don't forget to hang out with your girlfriends and have a gin and tonic if you are so inclined.
Phyllis
Thanks Phyllis. You hang in there also! I haven't had a lot of time for girlfriends lately. Mark is so sick right now. I make time for a 30 minute walk (I-Pod full volume) and red wine. I would really be in trouble without my walk. I walk where no one can see and have an occasional ugly face cry before punching my arms in the air a few times!0 -
have faith
listen to the doctors, i found reseach a good thing, but you may be too overwhelmed at the moment. it gets easier eventually. dont hide your feelings, my husband hid his when i was diagnosed and i felt very alone. talk, talk and more talk. just hold each other and you will find your own way of sharing this and coming out the other side.
lots of love x0 -
amber65amber65 said:have faith
listen to the doctors, i found reseach a good thing, but you may be too overwhelmed at the moment. it gets easier eventually. dont hide your feelings, my husband hid his when i was diagnosed and i felt very alone. talk, talk and more talk. just hold each other and you will find your own way of sharing this and coming out the other side.
lots of love x
Very good advice amber65, I was so preoccupied with my cancer I did not realized how bad my wife was suffering too. You are so very right you need to keep talking with each other, it gives both of you strength to keep fighting.0 -
What stage did does your husband have?pk said:Kimmygarland
The Journey is
Kimmygarland
The Journey is something else. My husband has 11 radiation treatments left and does not have burns on the side of his neck yet, but I know what you mean when you see what this can do to the skin. Maybe both of them will get lucky and not have such an adverse reaction. I don't worry much anymore either. I think we get too busy caregiving and as I said in earlier posts, my girlfriends have been my lifeline to normalcy.
I try to tell myself that everyday is a good day, because it's one day closer to the end of treatment. Keep smiling, kimmygarland!!!
PK
Hi thats an impressive cure rate, 80-90 percent. To use it comparitively can you tell us more about the primary site and staging of your husband. Did he have lymph node involvement?0 -
UPDATEHondo said:amber65
Very good advice amber65, I was so preoccupied with my cancer I did not realized how bad my wife was suffering too. You are so very right you need to keep talking with each other, it gives both of you strength to keep fighting.
WOW - it seems like a hundred years since I made this thread. We have completed six weeks of induction chemo and now 4 weeks of radiation - 2 weeks of chemo thrown in there also. We start week 5, which is a chemo/radiation week tomorrow. Then we only have one week of radiation left! Thank God... although I know it will still be bad for a couple weeks after treatment ends, it is one more step forward in this horrible journey.
My husband is experiencing the miriad of side effects and troubles. He has the erbitux rash, but it's not bad. He has the horrible burning throat, of course (taking hydrocodone now, but we have the patches when needed). But his most annoying side effect at the moment is the huge amount of mucous and the coughing and gagging that is causing. We have a prescription rinse (acetylcysteine) that we mix with soda that he gargles with, but I can't tell that it's doing any good. Any SUGGESTIONS?
His spirits are low, and I am trying to shore him up but it is not easy. He sleeps a lot and I hope that is ok. He does not have a peg tube (his stupid decision, I tried to talk him into getting it) and I spend a lot of time nagging about getting fluids in. At this point he is getting in 60+ oz water plus two 900 cal shakes a day. Docs tell us he is doing ok with that. Hopefully he will be able to continue getting it in. That is a HUGE concern with me.
I could go on for days about all this, but you all know what we are going through. I have a problem getting all the rinses and medicines down him (he has magic mouthwash, rinse for mouth sores, rinse for thrush, regular pills, pain pills, flouride trays, and on and on...) and feel guilty about nagging him but even more guilty when we don't get it all in.
Another question - regarding the mucous - anybody use a HUMIDIFIER for it?? I wonder if that would help?
This site has been an invaluable resource and I have learned so much. Had it not been for this site I would not have known to expect a lot of this stuff. Docs try to tell us some stuff but I think they don't want to scare us.0
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