Another Newbee - that's me

withabby52
withabby52 Member Posts: 6
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi. My name is Debby and I was diagnosed last July with IDC. I have had a lumpectomy, 21 lymph nodes removed, 6 rounds of TAC chemo and radiation treatments. I take Femara now and will get the results of my first mammogram since treatment ended on Monday. I have a husband and two boys, 23 and 19, and while we have survived "the storm" .. at some level we seem to be worse for wear.

While I am obviously happy to be alive, I feel sad and lonely; scared and empty. Is this normal for someone who has gone through all of this? I really made it through treatments by staying positive and as upbeat (when chemo wasn't sapping all my energy) as possible but now find it tough to find that positive energy.

I am hoping that reading these posts and sharing, I will find a way to feel better.

Comments

  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #2
    Hi there
    Welcome. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. We get rushed through treatments so fast, there is no time to stop and think, then suddenly you are off the roller coaster and.... Many of us got through the treatments then had a major drop. My doctor put me on "Happy pills" antidepressants, they help even though I sure as heck didn't want to take them. Anyway, nice to meet you. Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxx
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    #3
    withabby
    Hello and welcome, although sorry for your dx.

    As tasha said...perfectly normal feelings. While you are actively involved in treatment, you are busy and "doing something". When it's over however, you have time to think, you have time to worry, you have time to feel let down by all of it.

    I have said time and again that therapy should be a standard part of cancer treatment. Being diagnosed, dealing with, living with cancer is a life altering experience for everyone, and should be treated as such.

    Keep coming to the board and keep talking about your feelings. It does help, and we all understand.

    Hugs,

    CR
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #4
    I was also diagnosed last
    I was also diagnosed last July with breast cancer. I had chemo, a masectomy, and radiation. I am married with a son, 28 and a daughter 19. I also have a very large extended family and many friends, yet I was alone through the whole process. Every one was so busy with their own lives. So yes, sometimes I have been feeling exactly like you are. I thought I was alone. I still have not gotten all my energy back. I am not the same person as before. I hate to hear someone complain about trivial things, I think "if you only knew what I want through!". I know it is wrong to feel that way. OMG, you sound like me!! I was so positive, now i worry that it will come back, my oncologist told me that is normal after a year. I guess we all go through this transition period. You are not alone.

    take care
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #5
    Welcome Debby
    Welcome to this group. I'm in the beginning stages of my treatment right now so can't really help with your current situation. You have however come to the right place. There are wonderful people on here that have completed their treatment plans and continue to help us get through ours. Just post your questions and I'm sure you'll get support from someone who's been there. Take care.
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #6
    tasha_111 said:

    Hi there
    Welcome. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. We get rushed through treatments so fast, there is no time to stop and think, then suddenly you are off the roller coaster and.... Many of us got through the treatments then had a major drop. My doctor put me on "Happy pills" antidepressants, they help even though I sure as heck didn't want to take them. Anyway, nice to meet you. Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxx

    Hi and welcome! You will
    Hi and welcome! You will find lots of support and encouragement here! Keep us posted on you!

    ♠♣ Susie ♠♣
  • chickad52
    chickad52 Member Posts: 497
    #7
    Welcome withabby
    As the others said, you will find so much help and info on this site. The people are so full of knowledge. I am still doing chemo treatments with surgery to follow so I will be where you are at in a few months. Please keep in touch and post any questions that we can help you with! Hugs, Diane
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #8
    Hi
    Hi Debby! When you have a diagnosis of bc, your emotions will go every way that they can. You will be up one day and down the next. That is normal, as anyone on here will tell you. Just hang in there, try to think and do positive things. Get out and enjoy the weather, exercise, do fun things. Keep us updated!

    ♥ Noel
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #9
    Welcome, withabby52
    We're all here to support and encourage each other. Your emotions are quite normal - as many others have already stated. The BC cancer journey is difficult, to put it mildly.

    I joined this amazing group to mark my five year anniversary for completion of all invasive treatment - surgery/chemo/rads. Am now a six year survivor. Part of the beauty of the board is that it's always open, 24/7. Each and every day.

    You can visit whenever you need or would like to.
  • JoyD
    JoyD Member Posts: 81
    #10
    Same feelings too
    Hi Abby,

    I finished my chemo last Aug 19 and is about to start radiation tomorrow (Wed, Sept 9)....I have the same feelings as what you have...its like you are depressed for no reason at all..sometimes, I think that every part of my body is aching and imagining things like a lump underneath my armpit....I don't know, its like I am going crazy at times, but as the other sisters had said its "normal" feeling for people like us who has gone through so much....I am trying my best to pull myself together especially when I am by myself at home....don't be scared...we are here for you too....JoyD
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #11
    Hi Withabby
    Welcome to this board!
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #12
    withabby52 .. You will find positive healthy and spirited
    postings here on our breast cancer site. Welcome aboard!

    I am in awe of you and your fight. You survived "the storm" while tending to your boy's and husband. It is difficult I found explaining, describing every detail of my bc treatment, appointments and testing with my family - not to mention my chemo cocktail and treatments. My family is with me 100%, but it seems my kids get distracted by everyday life, school and friends. This is a good thing, because this is my daughters last year of high school, and I don't want her to miss out on anything.

    I try and keep a positive attitude with my family, however, when I need to vent, or cry I come to our bc board. I feel better when I post, perhaps I have nothing to offer anyone, but I do try.

    My sisters in PINK, keep me on an even mental level and continuosly lift my spirts and my dream of dancing with NED (no evident of diease).

    I hope you will find comfortable and a place of positive energy. Your heart and spirits will be lifted to degrees you may of never experienced before.


    Love and Peace,

    VickiSam
  • aurora2009
    aurora2009 Member Posts: 544 Member
    #13
    VickiSam said:

    withabby52 .. You will find positive healthy and spirited
    postings here on our breast cancer site. Welcome aboard!

    I am in awe of you and your fight. You survived "the storm" while tending to your boy's and husband. It is difficult I found explaining, describing every detail of my bc treatment, appointments and testing with my family - not to mention my chemo cocktail and treatments. My family is with me 100%, but it seems my kids get distracted by everyday life, school and friends. This is a good thing, because this is my daughters last year of high school, and I don't want her to miss out on anything.

    I try and keep a positive attitude with my family, however, when I need to vent, or cry I come to our bc board. I feel better when I post, perhaps I have nothing to offer anyone, but I do try.

    My sisters in PINK, keep me on an even mental level and continuosly lift my spirts and my dream of dancing with NED (no evident of diease).

    I hope you will find comfortable and a place of positive energy. Your heart and spirits will be lifted to degrees you may of never experienced before.


    Love and Peace,

    VickiSam

    Hi withabby and welcome!
    I haven't finished treatments yet, and I didn't have to have chemo but I am going to my simulation appt appointment tomorrow, to start rads. I think what you're feeling is normal. I've heard it many times before here on the boards, and have experienced the up's and down's myself. Just try to hang in there and post as often as you like, just talkng to others in the same situation as yourself helps alot. Plus I'm sure you have alot that you can share regaurding your experience.

    You'll find that we are a very welcoming group, there's much support here, and many great women and men. Hope you are felling better and decide to post again soon.

    God Bless
    Aurora

    P.S
    VickiSam, I just wanted you to know that I always enjoy your posts and you always have something great to share. Good Luck in your journey, Even though I don't post much, I'm always reading and I value reading your posts.
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #14
    Welcome Debby!
    ♥Pammy
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #15
    I am so glad you found us.
    I am so glad you found us. I too barreled through chemo and most of rads until I faltered. You will find a way to feel better. I remember people telling me "It just takes time." Me, being ever the slow learner, took a long time. For me, counseling, acupuncture, meditation, exercise, yoga, medication, and "venting" here all helped pull me through. xpxoxoxoxo Lynn

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