Hi all .........Just checking In.......No Chemo for me :)
As for myself, I've been on pretty much an emotional roller coaster for the last couple of weeks, after my second surgury (which came back clean) I found myself having a harder time of bouncing back. Phyically it took about 10 days to be ready to go back to work, but mentally I was out to lunch. I attempted to go back but after one day, I ended taking the rest of the week off.
After that I decided to take a 2 week personal leave of absense, and when it was time to go back again, I still didn't want to go. I talked to the doctor about not being able to sleep and the lack of interest in everything and she prescribed me Lexapro. BTW thanks for all the wonderful info on anti-depressants.
Finally last week I literally made myself go talk to my boss (store manger), I was afraid of losing my job, and even though I had my presciption I still hadn't filled it. Anyway he talked me in to forgeting about the medication, and just coming back to work! He said not to worry about when I came in or how long I worked, but to just come in. He said he knew I would feel better, and that he really needed me just to get my people motivated. He didn't even want to be do any physical work, just stand around and give orders! It felt so good to be needed that I came in the next day, and worked 5 hours. And have been working ever since.
It's kinda hard to believe but he was right, I'm a manager at Wal-mart and I run the whole garden center, along with all the seasonal area, there's so much work to be done with halloween right around the corner, that it's exciting!. And I love the transition between seasons. I am kinda spoiled too because I usually get what ever I want from my store manager, to the point that even the assistant managers come to me to go talk to him, lol. So this time I got him to okay, this beatiful christmas tree lot with lights, and tarps sheds and everything, it will be the best we've ever had. I know it sound crazy, but I really am very excited.
I know this post it long but bear with me here
, all this time I have been waiting to find out what my treatment plan is, I guess that is how I let my head take me on this ride I've been on, but today I finally got the news, the oncotype score was 10, which means NO CHEMO, for me! I feel like a 1000 pd weight has been lifted off my head, I can finally make a schedule and move forward in this battle, I have my simulation appointment next Wednesday and I'll start radiation on the 15th. The kids go back to school next week and I finally feel like this loooooooooong summer is over and life's getting back to normal. I know rad's will make me tired, but heck I'm usualy tired any way. lol. I won't be working full time for at least 2 months and I'm not going to school either until the spring semester(having been going full time for 3 years) so I think I can do this.So, thanks for listening or reading as the case may be, and to everyone out who's celebrating good news, a mile stone, dancing with NED or a birthday please know that you are all, always in my thoughts and prayers, and I'll try to post more often and keep you all updated.
Lots of Love
Aurora ♥ ♥ ♥
Comments
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Jackierjjj said:post only when you want to
You are moving on and becoming yourself again. I'm glad your boss had enough insight to see this. amd the best to you and all the Holiday seasons!!
love, jackie
As I finished my post I read you're, and I think you hit the nail on the head, while I still have the rad's to do, and will still need support and answers, I do feel as if I need to move on some what, and I also know how you feel. Even though I haven't posted alot I have still been reading, and I wish you the best of luck in what you're going through with you're husband, you've also been through a huge battle and maybe the new you knows it's time to move on. It's your decission of course, but I too am realizing some changes need to made in my own relationship.
Good luck and thank you for your keen insight.
Lots of love and God bless, as always your in my prayers,
Aurora0 -
Aurora, I'm glad that youraurora2009 said:Jackie
As I finished my post I read you're, and I think you hit the nail on the head, while I still have the rad's to do, and will still need support and answers, I do feel as if I need to move on some what, and I also know how you feel. Even though I haven't posted alot I have still been reading, and I wish you the best of luck in what you're going through with you're husband, you've also been through a huge battle and maybe the new you knows it's time to move on. It's your decission of course, but I too am realizing some changes need to made in my own relationship.
Good luck and thank you for your keen insight.
Lots of love and God bless, as always your in my prayers,
Aurora
Aurora, I'm glad that your boss convinced you to go back to work and do whatever you can and leave when you feel you need to. I have always found that the sooner I can be doing something that keeps my mind off the beast, the better off I am. For me, this was work. A few years ago, I missed very little work when I had lumpectomies and radiation (I worked a shorter day during rads), and it really helped me deal better with everything.
This year, I had a double mastectomy and reconstruction, which required that I be out of work for weeks, and I found that although I didn't deal with a depression, I did tend to be overly concerned about things. Now that I'm working again, I have to put things in perspective and live by the motto, if it's not important, it's not important.
I am always in awe of someone who goes to school while they are working, and I commend you for it. But, I also think that you were very wise to skip a semester, so you can more easily deal with the radiation. Hope things continue to improve for you.
Joyce0 -
it is true, life goes on
but it just goes differently that we are used to. So glad you are feeling better, and a big giant whoopee for no chemo.
Let us know when your rads starts, and enjoy your Christmas at Wal-Mart! (I love the garden center at wal-mart, that is where I pick up my orphans (Christmas Girl referred to the clearance plants that way).
Take care and congrats again on the "no chemo" diagnosis.
Cat0 -
Hi Aurora -
I am so glad you are feeling better. Work is what helped me - to have someplace to go to every day, even if I only worked half days during rads. My oncotype score was 35 so I had 6 rounds of chemo, but like all of us here, got through it and the rads. I'm still tired, and getting up at 5 am every day stinks, but I think of all of us who cannot get up and go to work and I feel very blessed and lucky. Some days you just feel like you are forcing yourself to do everything. I have a tight knit quad of houses around me, and it seems that every night we all wind up on my deck (I have the only one)and we talk and laugh and have fun together. There are days, even weeks (like now) that I come in from work, and just keep the door closed and cuddle in with my Sadiecat and watch tv. We are lucky to have each other here on this board and I am so happy you do not need Chemo and get to keep your hair!!!!!
Keep on truckin!!!!
Pat0 -
Joycejk1952 said:Aurora, I'm glad that your
Aurora, I'm glad that your boss convinced you to go back to work and do whatever you can and leave when you feel you need to. I have always found that the sooner I can be doing something that keeps my mind off the beast, the better off I am. For me, this was work. A few years ago, I missed very little work when I had lumpectomies and radiation (I worked a shorter day during rads), and it really helped me deal better with everything.
This year, I had a double mastectomy and reconstruction, which required that I be out of work for weeks, and I found that although I didn't deal with a depression, I did tend to be overly concerned about things. Now that I'm working again, I have to put things in perspective and live by the motto, if it's not important, it's not important.
I am always in awe of someone who goes to school while they are working, and I commend you for it. But, I also think that you were very wise to skip a semester, so you can more easily deal with the radiation. Hope things continue to improve for you.
Joyce
Thank you for your admiration, 6 months age I thought nothing about pushing myself so hard, but now I have found new limits.
I absolutly love you motto, I even used it today at work. I came in to find that there was some miss communication about some directions that I had left for some one to complete. And all I could say was you know what, "no big deal, we'll make it work the way it is", after that I added "I just found out I don't have to have chemo, and right now that's the important thing" (big smile on my face)
I thyink I had the best day back at work so far!
lots of love
Aurora0 -
Hi Aurora
I am so glad you found your way back to work. I know how hard it is to focus on work when your mind is somewhere else, but I really feel that going back to work has been really good for me. Taking my mind off myself is the best thing I could do.
I am so glad for you that you dont need to do chemo. I cant advise you on radiation but I know Pammy has been documenting her experience in radiation so that may help you.
Hang in there and remember we are here for you...and fill that lexapro. Usually antidepressants take about 4 to 6 weeks to work. I am so glad I am on the paxil.
Hugs
Linda T0 -
Thanks Catcats_toy said:it is true, life goes on
but it just goes differently that we are used to. So glad you are feeling better, and a big giant whoopee for no chemo.
Let us know when your rads starts, and enjoy your Christmas at Wal-Mart! (I love the garden center at wal-mart, that is where I pick up my orphans (Christmas Girl referred to the clearance plants that way).
Take care and congrats again on the "no chemo" diagnosis.
Cat
That is so funny, "your orphans" when I first took over the area, they were literally throwing the dead or dieing plants away, and claiming out all the broke or torn bags of dirt and mulch. I decided set up a nice table and mark it all down to 50% off! I send people to the register's all the time with items, telling them to just to tell the cashier "Aurora said".People really love a great deal on gardening supplies.
Thanks for the warm wishes about chemo, I've been so happy ever since I found out, I'll be so sure to check and let you know how rad's go, my first appt is next.
God Bless you Cat, I hope you're healing well and back on your feet soon.
Aurora0 -
It's easy to tellaurora2009 said:Thanks Cat
That is so funny, "your orphans" when I first took over the area, they were literally throwing the dead or dieing plants away, and claiming out all the broke or torn bags of dirt and mulch. I decided set up a nice table and mark it all down to 50% off! I send people to the register's all the time with items, telling them to just to tell the cashier "Aurora said".People really love a great deal on gardening supplies.
Thanks for the warm wishes about chemo, I've been so happy ever since I found out, I'll be so sure to check and let you know how rad's go, my first appt is next.
God Bless you Cat, I hope you're healing well and back on your feet soon.
Aurora
why they want/need you back at work. I would love a good deal like that on gardening supplies!
I am doin the Happy Happy nekkid dance for you ! congratulations on NO CHEMO!! What a blessing!
Love, Jackie0 -
Thank you Patpadee6339 said:Hi Aurora -
I am so glad you are feeling better. Work is what helped me - to have someplace to go to every day, even if I only worked half days during rads. My oncotype score was 35 so I had 6 rounds of chemo, but like all of us here, got through it and the rads. I'm still tired, and getting up at 5 am every day stinks, but I think of all of us who cannot get up and go to work and I feel very blessed and lucky. Some days you just feel like you are forcing yourself to do everything. I have a tight knit quad of houses around me, and it seems that every night we all wind up on my deck (I have the only one)and we talk and laugh and have fun together. There are days, even weeks (like now) that I come in from work, and just keep the door closed and cuddle in with my Sadiecat and watch tv. We are lucky to have each other here on this board and I am so happy you do not need Chemo and get to keep your hair!!!!!
Keep on truckin!!!!
Pat
I think what was holding me back, for a while was just not wanting to go back, and face all the "how are you's?" I know people mean well, and that for the most part they really care, but when you don't even have the answer's your self, it gets kind of over whelming.
I'm actually a real home body, I love my T.V. and DVR, I sitting on pin's and needles waiting for he new season to start this fall! And that's another thing that has made this summer so long, kids out of school, to much time off from work, no school or homework bills piling up, nothing to watch on tv, and no schedule. Yuk, it just left me with a very over active mind! This site and the new friends I have has been a god send, I don't know how I would of got through with out it either
I have to share with you what my son said when I told him that mommy was doing really good and that I wouldn't need to take the medicine that makes my hair fall out. His only response was (now remember he's 6 so there was a slight whine to his voice)"Awwwwwwwwwww, but i wanted to see you bald with no hair" (slight foot stomp include) It was the funnist thing I ever heard and something I didn't expect. i guess he was more prepared than I thought he was:
Take care Pat and remember the do what's best for you if spending time with your Sadiecat and a nice good movie make you feel good then do it!
Lots of love
Aurora0 -
Lindamlmjt1 said:Hi Aurora
I am so glad you found your way back to work. I know how hard it is to focus on work when your mind is somewhere else, but I really feel that going back to work has been really good for me. Taking my mind off myself is the best thing I could do.
I am so glad for you that you dont need to do chemo. I cant advise you on radiation but I know Pammy has been documenting her experience in radiation so that may help you.
Hang in there and remember we are here for you...and fill that lexapro. Usually antidepressants take about 4 to 6 weeks to work. I am so glad I am on the paxil.
Hugs
Linda T
I'm still up in the air on the lexapro , but you can bet I will fill it just in case. if I start to feel down I know I need to have it ready, since it takes so long to start working. But for now I'm going to brave it one day at a time. I think what I'm looking for is highs and lows, right now I feel good, but if I suddenly experience a low, then I think that's a good sign that I need something to balance me out.
Thanks for all the warms wish, I hope you're doing okay in your treatment and can get back to running and exercising soon, I really admire atheletic people. I just wish I had that drive.
God Bless,
Aurora0 -
Hi Auroraaurora2009 said:Linda
I'm still up in the air on the lexapro , but you can bet I will fill it just in case. if I start to feel down I know I need to have it ready, since it takes so long to start working. But for now I'm going to brave it one day at a time. I think what I'm looking for is highs and lows, right now I feel good, but if I suddenly experience a low, then I think that's a good sign that I need something to balance me out.
Thanks for all the warms wish, I hope you're doing okay in your treatment and can get back to running and exercising soon, I really admire atheletic people. I just wish I had that drive.
God Bless,
Aurora
Im glad to see that you came and posted. You sound so good and i am so happy for you that you dont have to do chemo. Thats totally awesome. One day at a time is the only way you can take anything. Im so happy that you are back at work and enjoying it. Its nice to be spoiled by a boss huh?! You take care and check in still please.
laura0 -
AURORA!!!!!!!
(Jumping up & down!!) Welcome back!
Wow, you have had a lot happen! But glad to see you pulled through. When I get old (future snapshot in my new avatar!)....I'm going to work for walmart! They sound like they treat you pretty well. I would be a great greeter!! My boss had us over last night for dinner. She has a broken arm and broken neck! She is back to work after only a few weeks and all I could do is sit there and feel like a wimp! We laughed....she knows what I am going through and wants me back when I'm ready no matter how long I'm out.
Pssst.....don't tell anyone....I'm kinda enjoying the break!
Sounds like you have everything under control now, so we will call the hounds off since you are no longer lost! Keep us updated whenever you can. Say maybe every 5 seconds!! Ok, just kidding. What can I say, we missed you!
♥ Pammy0 -
Lauralolad said:Hi Aurora
Im glad to see that you came and posted. You sound so good and i am so happy for you that you dont have to do chemo. Thats totally awesome. One day at a time is the only way you can take anything. Im so happy that you are back at work and enjoying it. Its nice to be spoiled by a boss huh?! You take care and check in still please.
laura
Not to worry, you are always in my thoughts and prayers, I'll be checking on you and everyone else here. I admire your stength and wisdom so much, I know it hasn't been easy for you, especially with 3 kids and chemo, but I think you are a great mom. And I wish only the best for you and your precious family. Following your story has made it so much easier for me to go through mine. It's great to know we're not alone in this, even when sometimes it feels like we are.
As for work, yes I'm happy, I've only been in retail for about 3 years now and never realized how much I would enjoy it, it's alot of work, but it's fun. My boss and I actually started at the same time so we've built a really great relationship. And I've pretty much got him wraped, lol.
Take care, you should be down to only 4 more sessions by now, right? I'm counting down with you, Hopefully I'll be able to help you more thru rad's!
God Bless, your friend,
Aurora0 -
And as for you missyAkiss4me said:AURORA!!!!!!!
(Jumping up & down!!) Welcome back!
Wow, you have had a lot happen! But glad to see you pulled through. When I get old (future snapshot in my new avatar!)....I'm going to work for walmart! They sound like they treat you pretty well. I would be a great greeter!! My boss had us over last night for dinner. She has a broken arm and broken neck! She is back to work after only a few weeks and all I could do is sit there and feel like a wimp! We laughed....she knows what I am going through and wants me back when I'm ready no matter how long I'm out.
Pssst.....don't tell anyone....I'm kinda enjoying the break!
Sounds like you have everything under control now, so we will call the hounds off since you are no longer lost! Keep us updated whenever you can. Say maybe every 5 seconds!! Ok, just kidding. What can I say, we missed you!
♥ Pammy
I love you new pic, and as a matter of fact you do look like one of my greeters!! lol.
So sorry to her about your boss, but it's great to hear she understands, and believe me you are no whimp! She just might be super woman that's all, lol.
I'll keep in touch, last night I was in the middle of sending you a PM with the codes I forgot in the first PM when the computer or the site did it's thing about not loading the next page, so next thing I knew, it was in gone to cyber space. but I'll get them yo you, besides I'm holding out on one for you graduation day
Take care, lots of love,
Aurora0 -
Awwwwwwrjjj said:It's easy to tell
why they want/need you back at work. I would love a good deal like that on gardening supplies!
I am doin the Happy Happy nekkid dance for you ! congratulations on NO CHEMO!! What a blessing!
Love, Jackie
Thank you, Jackie!!0 -
Your too sweetaurora2009 said:And as for you missy
I love you new pic, and as a matter of fact you do look like one of my greeters!! lol.
So sorry to her about your boss, but it's great to hear she understands, and believe me you are no whimp! She just might be super woman that's all, lol.
I'll keep in touch, last night I was in the middle of sending you a PM with the codes I forgot in the first PM when the computer or the site did it's thing about not loading the next page, so next thing I knew, it was in gone to cyber space. but I'll get them yo you, besides I'm holding out on one for you graduation day
Take care, lots of love,
Aurora
My avatar actually dances, but we can not get her to work. I liked her so much that I kept her as a still pic. ♥ Pammy0 -
Auroraaurora2009 said:Laura
Not to worry, you are always in my thoughts and prayers, I'll be checking on you and everyone else here. I admire your stength and wisdom so much, I know it hasn't been easy for you, especially with 3 kids and chemo, but I think you are a great mom. And I wish only the best for you and your precious family. Following your story has made it so much easier for me to go through mine. It's great to know we're not alone in this, even when sometimes it feels like we are.
As for work, yes I'm happy, I've only been in retail for about 3 years now and never realized how much I would enjoy it, it's alot of work, but it's fun. My boss and I actually started at the same time so we've built a really great relationship. And I've pretty much got him wraped, lol.
Take care, you should be down to only 4 more sessions by now, right? I'm counting down with you, Hopefully I'll be able to help you more thru rad's!
God Bless, your friend,
Aurora
Your words brought tears to my eyes. They were so sweet. And i have only two more chemos with no rads. They told me no rads because i had a double mastectomy, not lumpectomy. Please tell me they didnt lie to me?! And Pammy, love the new pic for you too!
laura0
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