new here but not to breast cancer

I just was wandering the internet one night and found this board. I am somewhat leery of too many sites as I tend to get anxious. I have already posted on some questions here and learned some interesting things. For EX" will need to discuss my lexapro as I will eventually be on tamoxifen.
I was dx 15 years ago, age 34 stg 1 breast cancer. Then the only did estrogen receptors which were neg. had CMF chemo I had a mastectomy for scattered in situ, interestingly enough 1 year later had a local recurrence, and had radiation.
I have had to have 5 biopsies in the ensuing years. each one producing more and more anxiety and had decided I had enough and was seeing doctors for propholactic mastectomy on the other side. I literall have seen 5 doctors in last eight months and neg mammogram. (also gene neg) I was also in the process of my daughter applying to colleges. Planned on the surgery more in the fall as i was told not an emergency.
Then In may felt a density-went to onc, same place where I had a biopsy 1.5 years earlier, thought it was scar tissue, another mammo, u/s inconclusive, MRI 50/50 scar tissue vs cancer. Lost that one. Invasive lobular. had the mastectomy (no wrenching decision for me) and to everyones surprise am in in stg 2. of course I was dissapointed and still am. More like devasted to be doing this again 2 or three times depending on your perspective. the first one was ductal. Anyways will now be having chemo and radiation and tamoxifen. plus a bone drug whose name escapes me. bone scan and CAT scan negative
Initally I tortured myself with should have done Mastectomy sooner, and I should have had an MRI. Went to 2 centers where they told me MRI is not "standard" IMO it should be. I did not know lobulars are not picked up well mammogram and feel like I should have informed myself better.
I feel knew to this as i have never had this chemo, chemopause, or chemo brain or lost my hair I know how I 'work" so know what I need and have supports in place. I recovered well from surgery except for the seroma(sp) but that is resolved.
I didnt ask the questions of prognosis or numbers that does not help me, I feel statistics did not help me the first time and they were better than my current ones. I dont need a doc to tell me that. However stats are good for determining what treatment you need. Over the years I have seen people from all over the spectrum do well, I feel that if I had to be diagnosed later this way the treatments are better than they were 15 years ago. I try very hard to take things one day at a time, one hour or one minute if thats all I can break it down to. For the most part my surgery is done, second opinions taken care of, will start chemo on thurs after I take my daughter to college.
I remember saying I CANT do this and someone saying you just dont WANT to and that is so true. But if I want the best chance of survival I must so I will, kicking and screaming the whole way.
I am sure I left out some details . ? Here for stg 2 they do not routinely do CT or bone scan my doc is the kind who does even within his practice(a whole other story) but do they do them routinely in other parts of the country/world or do PET scans? I read here more about PET scans. Am I to understand that in Canada they add 5FU to Adriamycin and cytoxin taxol regime?
I am sure I will have more questions as the chemo starts, I cant take compazine, but have prescribed amend, decadron, and ativan. I hope that is enough. anyway now i AM RAMBLING, but wanted to introduce myself instead of some random person who posts here and there. You all sound great!