everything hit me today

padee6339 said:

Peggy
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Reading through the posts, everything has been covered. I too cried alone in my room at night, and smiled and joked throughout the daylight hours. I can't believe in a few short weeks it will be one year that I was diagnosed. I finished chemo in the beginning of March, and Rads the beginning of June. My hair is growing back, and has reached the point where I can feel the wind blowing it a bit. Its even starting to look a bit straggly in spots. I have my first mammo next month since dx and am petrified there will be something there or on the other side. If flopsy got it, is mopsy next? I don't think the fear ever leaves, its just learning to live with it is hard. Thank God I have friends who have been through this and are such a big help to me. (Not thank God they had BC - I wish they hadn't.) Yesterday I went shopping and tried on a pretty scoop neck blouse. It showed the scar from the port and the discoloration of where the port line went up to my neck. I took it off and picked out a higher necked shirt. My friend said not to be ashamed of it, and I'm not. I just don't want to put it out there for the world to see. Its mine. People can tell you how strong you are, and how well you are handling the beast, but only you know how you really feel. It sounds like you have a wonderful husband, and that is a HUGE plus! Take good care of yourself and I will keep you in my prayers.
Pat

to all you heros
my god you girls are the best thing that has come out of this breast cancer reading your posts you are all heros in my eyes stong independant wonderful woman god is looking down and smilling on you i know im proud i hope i can be like all of you someday i have so much respect for you all you girls deserve medals the way these posts made me feel is alive again ike i cand do this get through this and its all because of you all im proud to be apart of you wonderful woman god bless you so much i hope i can help someone some day like you girls have just done for me ty for being here for me and everyone else luv peggy