I just cannot go on anymore.....

woodsygal
woodsygal Member Posts: 64
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I had three great days, but now I feel like crap! My back is aching and I feel bloaty. I see my oncologist tomorrow, I am certain of stopping the chemo. Love you all!! Carlie
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Comments

  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #2
    And without chemo does your
    And without chemo does your oncologist have a viable option for you so that you can Kill the Beast? If so, by all means! If not...again, the cure is NOT worse than the disease!!!! I am so sorry that you feel like crap, so many of us do during chemo...what does your Cancer Team suggest? I hope that your Dr has some other suggestions for you!

    (((((HUGS))))
    Chen♥
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    #3
    Carlie, please think about
    Carlie, please think about this a little longer. I totally understand how you are feeling because I was there. I had a miserable time with my AC treatments and really wanted to stop them. But ultimately, I knew that the window of opportunity right after diagnosis is the time to reduce one's chance of recurrence with treatment and that window will not come again.

    I know its hard to get through but you can do it. It is temporary but it could prevent your cancer from coming back. Thats just my 2 cents. Eil
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #4
    Woodsy,
    you can do it! Yeah,I remember,it is a hard, crappy time. Chemo is not fun-but it is killing those cancer cells! And everyone else here is right,this is only temporary! Once you get through all of this,your body will flush all the toxins out and you can start feeling better! Don't give up-unless your onc has other options,your health depends on this!My back didn't hurt and I didn't feel bloaty,but I do remember feeling bad for the first week then feeling good for about the last 3 days and then having to go through the wringer again.I remember my last chemo was scheduled for right after Christmas of 2007,my onc was going on vacation then and said that I could either have my chemo as scheduled or wait till he got back after the New Year-well even though my catastropic cap was met and I would end up not having to pay for my last round and the neulasta ,I and my husband decided to give me a Christmas present that year and wait until after the New Year! It was well worth it to have that extra time where I felt great for once!
    Woodsy,please hang in there!
    Love,
    Patty
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #5
    outdoorgirl said:

    Woodsy,
    you can do it! Yeah,I remember,it is a hard, crappy time. Chemo is not fun-but it is killing those cancer cells! And everyone else here is right,this is only temporary! Once you get through all of this,your body will flush all the toxins out and you can start feeling better! Don't give up-unless your onc has other options,your health depends on this!My back didn't hurt and I didn't feel bloaty,but I do remember feeling bad for the first week then feeling good for about the last 3 days and then having to go through the wringer again.I remember my last chemo was scheduled for right after Christmas of 2007,my onc was going on vacation then and said that I could either have my chemo as scheduled or wait till he got back after the New Year-well even though my catastropic cap was met and I would end up not having to pay for my last round and the neulasta ,I and my husband decided to give me a Christmas present that year and wait until after the New Year! It was well worth it to have that extra time where I felt great for once!
    Woodsy,please hang in there!
    Love,
    Patty

    Woodsy,
    I didn't have chemo
    Woodsy,
    I didn't have chemo so I cannot speak to what this is like for you. But if you stop chemo and have no other recourse to fight cancer, I am sure that if it recurs and if it spreads that you will also be in pain and feeling horrible, probably way worse than the chemo is now. Having seen someone who was unable to fight their cancer and seeing the pain and agony they were in makes me want to tell you to fight this, to work through it day by day if necessary? The ladies that have had chemo all say the same thing, you can do it. If you make the decision to stop chemo you may not be able to use it effectively if you have a recurrence or mets. My heart goes out to you and I wish we were all together so we could help you through each treatment, each step. But know that we all want you to fight. And yes, I second the suggestion that you ask what are your other options to fighting this if you stop chemo. Every day that passes is one day closer to being done with chemo. Please consider this very, very carefully. And know that we are here for you whatever you decide.
    With prayers and love,
    Stef
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #6
    I just cannot go on anymore.....Charlie .. Think about it!!!!!!
    I am a new cancer victim. Yes, I said it victim. I did not do anything wrong, I did not ask for Breast Cancer .. having survived thryoid cancer 25 years ago, cervical/uterus cancer 12 years ago. But here I am faced with Breast Cancer, as I refer to it ==== bull crap.

    I am in my late 40's with 2 children - 18 yrs and 22 yrs - still living at home, a husband who has just beat .. Prostrate cancer 2 years ago. I was recently laid off after 17 years as a Purchasing Agent. I decided back in April to attend school and become an RN - testing, fee's, applications accepted .. Now .. bull crap. My life is on HOLD. Life is not fair. No other women I have met thru business affliations, personal relationships or church have gone thru what I have.

    I pray that God points you in the right direction. That's all I can offer at this point, as I have not started chemo and have no idea what you and your body are going thru. Please .. Please.. Please do not let this BEAST win.


    Vicki
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #7
    Think long and hard please!!!!
    Carlie I am sorry you are feeling like crap, however stopping chemo is not the answer. It is most definitely your choice and your choice alone, that said if you stop chemo and the cancer has the opportunity to continue to feed on your body you will most certainly feel far worse than how you feel on chemo. I know it is difficult as I have had to fight this nasty illness several times, it is not a walk in the park but it is doable and you can do this. I have three friends who made the choice you are considering and they are all gone now. As things worsened they did opt for chemo again but it was too late for them. Please forgive me for being harsh as it is not my intention, my intention is to be boldly honest with you. I implore you to reconsider, once treatment is over you will regain your strength and your old self will reemerge.

    My thoughts are with you,

    RE
  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    #8
    As I see it...
    those three great days were a gift which was intended to remind you of what your life CAN be again if you persevere now. Hold on to how wonderful it felt to feel good and determine within yourself that you will NOT cheat yourself of feeling that way again. Focus on something you really, really want out of life and plan strategies to get it. Today is one step in the direction of realizing your dreams.
    Talk to your medical team about medications that can help you get through the bad days. I took Ativan after each chemo treatment for three days and basically slept through the worst of the sickness. There are ways and means of mitigating the side effects of treatment, but you have to let them into your range of vision and explore various possibilities. Not everything works for everyone.
    And there are strategies you can effect for yourself that will help you cope with the hard times. When I am looking at something I want to avoid, I put clean, sun-dried sheets on my bed. That's it. Then I shower and go to bed that evening knowing I have done the difficult thing, and the feel and smell of those clean, fresh sheets is like a wonderful reward for having been the strong, capable person I know I can be. Whatever melts your butter, as they say, and sometimes we have to make it happen.
    God bless.
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #9
    carli
    You will feel a lot worse if you stop the treatment and the cancer spreads through your body, It seems we have all been at your point, but we all made it. sending positive energy your way in hopes you change your mind.
  • sausageroll
    sausageroll Member Posts: 415
    #10
    meena1 said:

    carli
    You will feel a lot worse if you stop the treatment and the cancer spreads through your body, It seems we have all been at your point, but we all made it. sending positive energy your way in hopes you change your mind.

    Good luck with your decision
    I agree with the other comments that you should really think this through before making a final decision. Your oncologist is the one to help you..only he or she knows how sick you have been and how many treatments you have already had. I had so many side effects that my cancer team decided to stop my chemo treatments..I had completed quite a few but was very disappointed as I waanted to go through to the end no matter what. However, they felt that the damage being done to the rest of my body outweighed the good being done by the last few treatments. My tumour also shrank dramatically very soon after the first treatment.
    I know you must feel roten right now..but each day will bring you closer to a good day.
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #11
    Seconding these comments
    Carlie, we all know how singularly awful chemo can be. It is no party and can wreak havoc on your life and your body. Sometimes it feels like you cannot take one more step, like there's no way you can go on -- that you're willing to accept any alternative to this assault on your body. But, the reality is that chemo works. It kills cancer cells and, yes, healthy cells, too. But, it KILLS cancer cells. Your body is in a monumental struggle right now and that is why you feel like crap. Your body is fighting. Please let it continue to fight for you. Think of all the great days ahead. As you know, you'll have great days even during treatment. But think of the days after your treatments end -- how you'll know you did all you could to kill the rouge cancer cells that wanted to colonize your body. Memory of pain fades, I can tell you that.

    I know you feel like it's the end of the line as far as chemo is concerned, but Carlie, you have strength in you. I felt like quitting, too. In fact, I cried and cried and didn't think I could take one more step, or survive one more night. But I did. And so can you. Just think about it, is all we ask.

    Mimi
  • mberg
    mberg Member Posts: 62
    #12
    I have been where you are! I
    I have been where you are! I feel like that every 3 weeks when I get my chemo!It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and I have had some struggles in my time. Please don't give up, you will feel better. Chemo sucks!!Whenever I say I am gonna stop, my husband tells me "no one said this was going to be a party, if you feel this bad, think what it's doing to the cancer". as much as I hate to admit it, he's right. I hope you feel better soon, don't give up, you'll be finished with chemo before you know it!!!
  • tjhay
    tjhay Member Posts: 655
    #13
    Treatment
    Carlie
    I can tataly relate to how you are feeling. Most on this board do not know that there were several times when I came close to quitting treatment. There were several times when my sister and I would get into shouting matches about it. Her final word was always if you have the ability to argue with me so strongly you can focus that energy at the monster that is trying to kill you.
    I had to work closely with my team to insure that my needs were being addressed. Changing my nausea meds twice, pain medication because the chemo comlicated my neurapothy, and so forth. This can be done, it by no means easy. This battle is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do.
    Please give it a little time, work with you team a bit more, give them the chance to find the right combination of meds to make thing work for you.
    tjhay
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #14
    meena1 said:

    carli
    You will feel a lot worse if you stop the treatment and the cancer spreads through your body, It seems we have all been at your point, but we all made it. sending positive energy your way in hopes you change your mind.

    If you stop your treatment,
    If you stop your treatment, your cancer can spread and then it will be too late. Others have gotten thru it, you will too. The chemo will end. Try to stay positive and do what you can to fight it.
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #15
    Carlie
    Some of the others
    Carlie
    Some of the others made some good points, but really hon, you shouldn't be feeling that bad if you have the right meds to take. I have a general queasiness for 2 out of 3 weeks , but it is manageable and I am managing to work and do what I need to do, because of all the good antinausea meds I have. Make sure that you have the right meds. If the ones you have don't do the job, talk to your ONC. and ask him for something else. I hope you'll try once more before you quit.
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #16
    DON"T STOP THE CHEMO, please
    Carli,
    We all feel like crap after chemo, but it is one of the most effective ways of keeping this beast from coming back. I just had my LAST chemo on Monday....I am SO PROUD OF MYSELF! I really didn't know if I was going to be able to do it, but I knew I really had no other choice, if I want the BEST chance of this not coming back......If I had chose NOT to have chemo and just radiation, and it came back, I would be furious with myself. I start radiation in September.......I want to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to stop this from coming back.
    It is certainly your choice but I think you're giving up to easily, I'm going to be hard on you because I want you to FIGHT THIS BEAST with everything you have!....Especially if this is your first chemo.....Please rethink your choice.......I wouldn't want you to have any regrets down the road......
    N
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #17
    MAJW said:

    DON"T STOP THE CHEMO, please
    Carli,
    We all feel like crap after chemo, but it is one of the most effective ways of keeping this beast from coming back. I just had my LAST chemo on Monday....I am SO PROUD OF MYSELF! I really didn't know if I was going to be able to do it, but I knew I really had no other choice, if I want the BEST chance of this not coming back......If I had chose NOT to have chemo and just radiation, and it came back, I would be furious with myself. I start radiation in September.......I want to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to stop this from coming back.
    It is certainly your choice but I think you're giving up to easily, I'm going to be hard on you because I want you to FIGHT THIS BEAST with everything you have!....Especially if this is your first chemo.....Please rethink your choice.......I wouldn't want you to have any regrets down the road......
    N

    Carlie
    You can do it! the first days after chemo are the worse, you will have days that you will feel fine, and enjoy the love laughter and joy of your family and friends, they are also ones who will be affected by your decision, and I'm sure you do want them to know and for you to know that you have done everything possible to fight the beast. I know it is not fun, but when you ardone you will be sooo glad you did. I'm praying that you will make the right decision.
    Hugs, Jackie
  • mlmjt1
    mlmjt1 Member Posts: 537 Member
    #18
    OK Carlie its my turn
    I am halfway thru ac and I agree it is the most difficult thing I have ever been thru.. but I am 1/2 way thru...I know you feel like crap...Ive been feeling that way too but you need to look at the bigger picture.. this is your life you are talking about and its worth the fight and aggrevation. You dont want to be in the situation some day if it comes back and you didnt take all the steps necessary to fight it.

    Please reconsider...

    HUgs
    Linda T
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #19
    mlmjt1 said:

    OK Carlie its my turn
    I am halfway thru ac and I agree it is the most difficult thing I have ever been thru.. but I am 1/2 way thru...I know you feel like crap...Ive been feeling that way too but you need to look at the bigger picture.. this is your life you are talking about and its worth the fight and aggrevation. You dont want to be in the situation some day if it comes back and you didnt take all the steps necessary to fight it.

    Please reconsider...

    HUgs
    Linda T

    Carlie, Please don't give
    Carlie, Please don't give up. I am only on my 4th treatment with AC, and yes I have days that I don't feel well. I am going on taxol now in 2 weeks, hoping it will not be as bad, I will have this every week for 12 weeks. 12 weeks to save my life. If your meds are not helping you then get your doctor to order another and another until you find something to help a little bit. You will feel crappy, but maybe not as bad as your feeling now. Think about this. What if the Cancer spreads. Hugs you can do this, we can do this together.
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181 Member
    #20
    don,t give up please.
    HI,I AM A NEW MEMBER.I HAVE NOT STARTED TREATMENTS YET.SO I WILL NOT PRETEND TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE CHEMO OR RADATION.BUT I DO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE TOLD YOU HAVE CANCER.ONE DAY I MIGHT BE OK THEN MAYBE THE NEXT FEW DAYS I WILL BE REALLY DEPRESSED.MY FEELINGS ARE LIKE A ROLLER COASTER RIDE UP AND DOWN.but i know i need to deal the best i can.For me and my family.i pray alot and check in on this sight 1 or 2 times a day.I keep hoping i find a close friend to talk back and forth on here.until then i just keep checking in.I pray you have God in your life.please i pray you don,t give up,hang in their.theirs some wonderful people on this sight to talk to.Pat.
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #21
    ppurdin said:

    don,t give up please.
    HI,I AM A NEW MEMBER.I HAVE NOT STARTED TREATMENTS YET.SO I WILL NOT PRETEND TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE CHEMO OR RADATION.BUT I DO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE TOLD YOU HAVE CANCER.ONE DAY I MIGHT BE OK THEN MAYBE THE NEXT FEW DAYS I WILL BE REALLY DEPRESSED.MY FEELINGS ARE LIKE A ROLLER COASTER RIDE UP AND DOWN.but i know i need to deal the best i can.For me and my family.i pray alot and check in on this sight 1 or 2 times a day.I keep hoping i find a close friend to talk back and forth on here.until then i just keep checking in.I pray you have God in your life.please i pray you don,t give up,hang in their.theirs some wonderful people on this sight to talk to.Pat.

    Pat
    we are all on here for you and everyone else. You can talk(cyber talk) to us anytime!

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