I feel like giving up

kay-b
kay-b Member Posts: 11
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
I am feeling more sick than ever from the treatment and now am deciding whether I want to continue on with it. I feel so stressed because I know if I stop I may not have much longer. But is it worth it if I feel so sick and weak all the time? I think it's hitting me harder than ever that I may not be here much longer. The only friend I had left supporting me has seemed to disappear. I haven't heard from him in a while and i'm beginning to think it was too much for him. I feel more depressed than ever. I never thought i'd lose him, he was so supportive and protective of me. Now he's gone. I cry every single night, I can't eat or sleep anymore. I feel like giving up. I know i'm not alone because I have you guys, but sometimes I need more. I need someone who loves me and I don't understand why he has left me. What do I do now? I feel so lost.

Comments

  • sue Siwek
    sue Siwek Member Posts: 279
    #2
    kay-b, please don't give up.
    kay-b, please don't give up. speak with you doctors, join a support group and most of all get over all these jerks who can't handle the stress of your illness! there are a lot of them out there. don't wallow, you don't have the luxury of time. concentrate on getting well you can do this. keep posting. yes you are going to have some bad days but with us and an actual physical support group you can prevail! you doctors, clinic, and hospital have a wealth of information all you have to do is ask.
  • sue Siwek
    sue Siwek Member Posts: 279
    #3
    also, terminal is just a
    also, terminal is just a word, actually we all are terminal. my husband has survived brain cancer for 9+ yrs and he was told that there was nothing they could do and i was told it was a death sentence. we went somewhere else and he is still with us.
  • terato
    terato Member Posts: 375
    #4
    Back in winter of 1981, I felt the same way!
    kay,

    I was receiving cisplatin, bleomycin, and vinblastin for metastatic testicular cancer between 1980-82. Anyone familiar with these drugs knows them as the "unholy trinity" of chemotherapy. Any attempt to alleviate nausea with compazine or metaclopramide proved to make my situation worse, since we discovered that I was allergic to these anti-emetics, developing dystonic reactions (loss of neuro-muscular control). About half way into treatment, I told my oncologist that I wanted to discontinue treatment. He responded, "Rick, we aren't interested in partial remission, we're going for cure!" I stuck it out for the rest of the protocol. That was over 27 years ago, and I'm still cancer-free!

    Love and Courage!

    Rick

    BTW, my wife left two years later.
  • sue Siwek
    sue Siwek Member Posts: 279
    #5
    terato said:

    Back in winter of 1981, I felt the same way!
    kay,

    I was receiving cisplatin, bleomycin, and vinblastin for metastatic testicular cancer between 1980-82. Anyone familiar with these drugs knows them as the "unholy trinity" of chemotherapy. Any attempt to alleviate nausea with compazine or metaclopramide proved to make my situation worse, since we discovered that I was allergic to these anti-emetics, developing dystonic reactions (loss of neuro-muscular control). About half way into treatment, I told my oncologist that I wanted to discontinue treatment. He responded, "Rick, we aren't interested in partial remission, we're going for cure!" I stuck it out for the rest of the protocol. That was over 27 years ago, and I'm still cancer-free!

    Love and Courage!

    Rick

    BTW, my wife left two years later.

    hoorah!

    hoorah!
  • tiny one
    tiny one Member Posts: 465 Member
    #6
    treatment
    Treatment isn't easy but try to find a support group. The people in these groups have been through treatment and can relate to you totally. They also might have some tips on how to deal with side effects. I go to a support group and it's been very helpful. The center I go to has a person there who is a counselor. Does yours? The counselor at the center where I go literally saved my life, she spent alot of time on the phone with me. Also there are many medications out there that can help with the side effects of treatment. Please call where you're getting your treatment and tell them just how bad your feeling, both physically and mentally.
  • Cindy54
    Cindy54 Member Posts: 452
    #7
    tiny one said:

    treatment
    Treatment isn't easy but try to find a support group. The people in these groups have been through treatment and can relate to you totally. They also might have some tips on how to deal with side effects. I go to a support group and it's been very helpful. The center I go to has a person there who is a counselor. Does yours? The counselor at the center where I go literally saved my life, she spent alot of time on the phone with me. Also there are many medications out there that can help with the side effects of treatment. Please call where you're getting your treatment and tell them just how bad your feeling, both physically and mentally.

    For You
    Kay..if that man left you, then he wasn't much of a man. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Some people can only stand so much and if they have to watch someone they love go through things that they cannot fix, well, it is hard. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt here because you have loved him.I too have lost people who just decided it was "too hard" to be around me. It made me feel worthless, but I also kept plodding along. All of us have a lot to offer after having gone through what we have. Don't give up. Find one person, anyone who will listen to you and just talk. And keep talking. Come here as much as you need to, we care. And see if there is some kind of support group in your area. Take care new friend, hugs, Cindy
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #8
    Fight for your life Kay Please!
    Kay I do not know what stage your cancer is, however I do know you should not give up nor should you give in to cancer. You are worth the struggle and effort it takes to become well again. I am a stage 4 breast cancer survivor who had it metastasize to my sentinel node and chest wall and muscle, that was 9 years ago. I agree it is not a cake walk I endured 24 chemo infusions and 16 weeks of rads not to mention the surgeries. I was sick, tire, angry, frustrated and probably the best thing I was is angry....how dare this thing called cancer try to take my life. You ARE worth fighting for, just because someone who was once there for you has taken a walk does not mean there is not a great person in your future, the future you have to fight to get to. Not to be harsh, but if you are sick now you certainly will not feel better if you choose to stop treatment, in time you will feel much worse. PLEASE fight for your life, I think you can do this I really do! I agree as many here have stated you should probably look into a support group to help you through this tough time, there is no reason you should go this alone.

    RE
  • bluerose
    bluerose Member Posts: 1,104
    #9
    My idiot ex pulled away too
    Kay I know how you feel I have been where you are more than once as far as feeling like giving up. My husband at the time couldn't handle it all but pretended he was hanging in there with me but later on I found out he was off flirting with other YOUNGER AND HEALTHIER women. I am counting on karma to get him.

    Anywho my point is that this happens to lots of us who are sick, like terato and me and you and countless others I have spoken to so don't feel it's just you I know that sometimes it helps to realize that it wasn't just you.

    I will say a prayer for you tonight and please don't give up. I have been cancer free for 18 years after nearly dieing during a transplant and then nearly dieing twice again from penumonias and other fun stuff. I carry the scars of battles with cancer through drug related side effects daily that keep me down and no doubt one of those will get me sooner or later. However, we have the luxury of today and like someone else just said on here, we are all terminal, sick or not and whether people realize it or not who are healthy today.

    We are here for you and we understand and I know you want more, someone there with you too - we all do sometimes - but to tell you the truth even though I am alone too I get more out of my two cats than I did a man - well the last one anyways.

    Lots of love to you and a big cyberhug to go with it. Please keep on keeping on - you have alot to do yet on this nutty planet of ours. Blessings, Bluerose

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