Very frightened for my mother

Waiting
Cobra makes some excellent points, not the least of which is that you both need to keep enjoying life. Even with the worst possible results (and that can happen), what is the use of being miserable or worrying? ESPECIALLY if that is the case.

As Cobra also acknowledges, that is easier said than done, but it is something worth pursuing.

It may be dating me, but I happen to think Tom Petty's song, "The Waiting is the Hardest Part" should be the cancer survivor/caregiver theme song. It IS a tough job, regardless of which role you serve.

Adding to what Cobra wrote, I would suggest that your mom's doctors have done a wonderful job so far! From what you write, they got her in immediately and were able to make some determinations at once. Believe me, in this time of Baby Boomers and carcinogen city, cancer is a rather hot fad at the moment, and getting your mom in for biopsy is a great thing on the part of her doctor(s).

Now, as Cobra describes in remembering his own experiences, the follow-up is not necessarily so quick. There are a number of reasons for this, as far as I can tell. First, as mentioned above, things have to fit into schedules, not just the doctors' schedules (they apparently do not even have time to go play golf anymore, as the stereotype would suggest), but also the load on others involved with this process.

Before your mom's doctors even see these results, they will be touched and evaluated by any number of other folks, including a specialist or two, evaluated carefully so that opinions are as accurate as possible, even before doc sees the results to provide his/her own opinion.

In addition, believe it or not, it appears that cancer does not hit you one day and kill you the next. Some, perhaps many, will argue that an earlier diagnosis might have saved a significant other. I would argue instead that the diagnosis came too late in those cases.

As a rule.

Finally, you indicate that mom has always been a lively, a 'vivacious' person, suggesting that she should not have cancer. I do not know what your image of a cancer survivor is, but, trust me, and I think you know this now, cancer is the least prejudiced of things.

It hits folks of all ages, races, religions, habits, the gamut. The fact that mom has been active, as you suggest, is a good thing for her, to be sure, but, on the other hand, cancer doesn't look for losers, if you will. It does not prey only on the smokers among us, or the shipworkers, or the roofers, or the coal miners. Whatever you might have thought before: it has no prejudice.

Mom is fortunate to have a caregiver such as yourself, Dee. Stick with it, continue to ask questions, continue to seek support for yourself (you, as a caregiver, need to take care of yourself as well).

And, as Cobra suggests, if you can, worry if and when you need to worry, when you have some answers and some new questions.

We are here for you and for mom.

Hope and Humor!

Take care,

Joe

MarykayUSMC said:

good advise from both
good advise from both prior.

My cancer was found on a Wednesday from a ultrasound - the same day they did a CAT scan and another more complete CAT scan the very next day. By Friday they did a biopsy - by Monday I saw the doctor and started chemo that same Wednesday. It is true that it does take time for the results but I have found that if it is real bad they call right away. I now have the "no news is good news". Waiting is scary however when they call too fast and rush too fast - it's scary too.

I've found this site and the advise from others here very helpful.

Prayers are with you and your family.

Marykay!
I LOVE a woman in uniform! (That is probably why my mail lady leaves my mail at the end of my driveway, but still!)



Best wishes to you.

Take care,

Joe

DeeS said:

I can breathe again...
I just talked with my mother and she said the Doctor called her and said that the test results were negative!! We are so grateful and happy!! What I don't understand is why he mentioned he would be talking to her on the 24th about surgery. There is no way she (or my 78 year old father) will let anyone poke and prod her any further. If there's nothing there, why continue with any drastic measures?? I'm so confused...

hmmm
This is just a guess, Dee, but in your initial post, you do state that the scan revealed a 'mass'. While the nature of the mass was not yet then known, its existence is apparently a certainty. Even if it is benign, as the doc has indicated, it may still be a problem, something to be removed.

That is just conjecture. Only doc will have the answers.

Best wishes to mom and her family, with congratulations to her for the negative results!

Take care,

Joe