update to my Angels
I gave way to the fear, and I really think I have been over-doing it. It takes awhile to heal from Rad burns, and chemo..and just because I am finished with all but the Herceptin, does not mean I am back to where I was hoping I would be, A sister here (12/25) put it so simply to me relating it to a "emotional set-back" such as on a game board where you take 2 steps back and THEN move 7 spaces forward.
I did get a call from my chemo Nurse saying she had seen nothing to be alarmed about. The last blood test was the one the DR. was reading, and she did not see anything about Macro (large )red blood cells on this new test. She said the folic acid (iron) and vitamin B-12 test were still pending, but I was well above the level that I would need a transfusion. and said they did have a shot (that many take for the B-12) I was so relieved.
About the Onc. sending me to the breast specialist in Billings, she said she was probably just wanting me to have the best of care...as it was time for my mamogram , ultrasound or MRI. What a huge relief.
Isn't it strange what our fear of the demon can do to us. imagining the worse, reading between the lines and half driving us crazy. I am not sure what all other tests will show, but i am going to try to think positive until I know results. I'm sorry for my melt-down. But know you all know how easy it is to let our emotions get the best of us.
Just want to say thank you all for holding me up when I was so down. And to Joe for all the research he does for me and for al of us.
I love you all my angels.
Jackie
Comments
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Hi rjjj
The fear demon is really evil. I was doing well all week until I found a little ulceration on the scar tissue on my right breast where I had a wound in June which had to be surgically repaired. Its put me in such a scared spot so I know what you mean about the fear getting ahold of you.
Glad youre feeling better
Isnt this a great place to have friends
Hugs
Linda t0 -
Miss Jackie... what on earth
Miss Jackie... what on earth are you sorry for??? No apologies needed or required... melt downs.. I think I've written the book on that and personally it is comforting to know that a few of my members here have added a chapter or two and not left me as the sole author of that book.. ;-) (wink wink)..
I am so glad that the nurse was able to bring you some comfort and reassurance... as far as keeping positive about the rest of the results... I have always believed in using the "cross that bridge when we come to it" philosophy... now if only I could get to that damned bridge....lol...I am trying to remember which member here refered to our emotional ride through BC as a roller coaster... and she told the story so elequantly... I think it was Claudia... I guess that ride doesn't stop just because one finishes "treatment"... so my dear friend go easy on yourself... and DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR BEING HUMAN!
We love you... and holding you up is an honor..that is the beauty of this site... that no matter what we are going through in our own individual trials, through this bc journey, helping others helps us lift our own spririts... and with all of us holding you up my dear friend .... you are lite as a feather!
Hugs,
~T0 -
Well said, T Well said!taleena said:Miss Jackie... what on earth
Miss Jackie... what on earth are you sorry for??? No apologies needed or required... melt downs.. I think I've written the book on that and personally it is comforting to know that a few of my members here have added a chapter or two and not left me as the sole author of that book.. ;-) (wink wink)..
I am so glad that the nurse was able to bring you some comfort and reassurance... as far as keeping positive about the rest of the results... I have always believed in using the "cross that bridge when we come to it" philosophy... now if only I could get to that damned bridge....lol...I am trying to remember which member here refered to our emotional ride through BC as a roller coaster... and she told the story so elequantly... I think it was Claudia... I guess that ride doesn't stop just because one finishes "treatment"... so my dear friend go easy on yourself... and DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR BEING HUMAN!
We love you... and holding you up is an honor..that is the beauty of this site... that no matter what we are going through in our own individual trials, through this bc journey, helping others helps us lift our own spririts... and with all of us holding you up my dear friend .... you are lite as a feather!
Hugs,
~T
Jackie
I am so happy you are feeling more at ease today
those emotions can and do get the best of all of us sometimes! The really great part is coming here and knowing you are not alone and are surrounded by bunches of angles!
((hugs))
TT0 -
updatetaleena said:Miss Jackie... what on earth
Miss Jackie... what on earth are you sorry for??? No apologies needed or required... melt downs.. I think I've written the book on that and personally it is comforting to know that a few of my members here have added a chapter or two and not left me as the sole author of that book.. ;-) (wink wink)..
I am so glad that the nurse was able to bring you some comfort and reassurance... as far as keeping positive about the rest of the results... I have always believed in using the "cross that bridge when we come to it" philosophy... now if only I could get to that damned bridge....lol...I am trying to remember which member here refered to our emotional ride through BC as a roller coaster... and she told the story so elequantly... I think it was Claudia... I guess that ride doesn't stop just because one finishes "treatment"... so my dear friend go easy on yourself... and DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR BEING HUMAN!
We love you... and holding you up is an honor..that is the beauty of this site... that no matter what we are going through in our own individual trials, through this bc journey, helping others helps us lift our own spririts... and with all of us holding you up my dear friend .... you are lite as a feather!
Hugs,
~T
Jackie,
First let me say how relieved and happy I am for you. I read your post late last night and remembered you in my prayers. I think we overreact sometimes because we as breast cancer patients are so used to hearing the bad news. First you need an ultrasound, then a biopsy, then you hear the dreaded news YOU HAVE CANCER, you follow that with surgery and then maybe chemo or rads. Really how much can a person take without being prepared to hear the worst? On the other hand it is so nice to hear the good news. I'm glad that your doctor is looking out for you by suggesting that you receive the best care possible, that speaks volumes about her character. Love Surf0 -
no apologies needed...it
no apologies needed...it takes courage to articulate and face fear...thanks for sharing0 -
Hi Lindamlmjt1 said:Hi rjjj
The fear demon is really evil. I was doing well all week until I found a little ulceration on the scar tissue on my right breast where I had a wound in June which had to be surgically repaired. Its put me in such a scared spot so I know what you mean about the fear getting ahold of you.
Glad youre feeling better
Isnt this a great place to have friends
Hugs
Linda t
I hope all is well and that your ulceration is nothing, I will be praying for you. Together we can fight the fear. so post and let us know. Angels are surrounding you also.
Yes it is the BEST place filled full of friends!
Good luck and God Bless, Jackie0 -
My dear Jackie
So happy to see this post from you! I have been so worried. But, it seems that all will be taken care of easily. And, isn't that wonderful that they only want the BEST for you? That should make you feel really special, which you are! Now, open up a bottle of wine, pour yourself a glass and relax!
Love, Jeanne0 -
Jackie, I'm glad to see
Jackie, I'm glad to see things have been sorted out. It's hard not to panic when we hear words that aren't suppose to be part of this experience you're going through, so please don't apologize, that's what we're here for
hugs
jan0 -
Glad to hear you're feeling better!!!!!!!!
Fear is something that can easily over take us all. I'm just glad you're feeling better now and that you're docter is giving you the best of care. How nice that the nurse called and gave you re-assurance.
Take it easy and God Bless you Jackie.
Glad we could help you, when so often you're here for all of us.
Aurora0 -
Thanks sistersaurora2009 said:Glad to hear you're feeling better!!!!!!!!
Fear is something that can easily over take us all. I'm just glad you're feeling better now and that you're docter is giving you the best of care. How nice that the nurse called and gave you re-assurance.
Take it easy and God Bless you Jackie.
Glad we could help you, when so often you're here for all of us.
Aurora
You have all been so much help to me. This is the first place I turn to when I am worried, sad, happy or just want to laugh and celebrate life. You all mean so much to me.
Has anyone heard how Tasha's apt. went? She has also been on my mind.... Oh Tash....?
Gotta go to work but I'll check back.
love, jackie0 -
So Gladrjjj said:Thanks sisters
You have all been so much help to me. This is the first place I turn to when I am worried, sad, happy or just want to laugh and celebrate life. You all mean so much to me.
Has anyone heard how Tasha's apt. went? She has also been on my mind.... Oh Tash....?
Gotta go to work but I'll check back.
love, jackie
Jackie,
I'm so glad it unfolded differently than you initially thought!
Have a good day at work,
KC0 -
Taking a leaf from Pammy'sfaithandprayer said:So Glad
Jackie,
I'm so glad it unfolded differently than you initially thought!
Have a good day at work,
KC
Taking a leaf from Pammy's post. Hooray!!
Stef0 -
Angel Care
Thank you for letting us know your test results, Jackie. It is a relief. I will continue to pray for more good test results to come, and I know they will. The good coming out of this is that you are going to get the best breast specialist around, and the best of care. Yea.
The fear you had, we all know. Please don't apologize for your emotions, ok? I for one would have reacted the same way and may yet on some day or other. And you would be there--and later tell me not to apologize. Isn't that right?
Love,
Moopy
p.s. My big sis Jackie used to call me and our brother "little ingrates." I'll have to tell her of my new angel status. Afraid she won't be impressed, though: she used to change my diapers.0 -
All right!Moopy23 said:Angel Care
Thank you for letting us know your test results, Jackie. It is a relief. I will continue to pray for more good test results to come, and I know they will. The good coming out of this is that you are going to get the best breast specialist around, and the best of care. Yea.
The fear you had, we all know. Please don't apologize for your emotions, ok? I for one would have reacted the same way and may yet on some day or other. And you would be there--and later tell me not to apologize. Isn't that right?
Love,
Moopy
p.s. My big sis Jackie used to call me and our brother "little ingrates." I'll have to tell her of my new angel status. Afraid she won't be impressed, though: she used to change my diapers.
I'm SO relieved, as you are!
It is amazing what fear can do to us, even when we know better!!!! It's great to have all these sisters, isn't it? And 12/25 is terribly wise. We are all very blessed to have each other, in my (humble) opinion!
Much love to you,
Debi0 -
I am so happy for youbfbear said:All right!
I'm SO relieved, as you are!
It is amazing what fear can do to us, even when we know better!!!! It's great to have all these sisters, isn't it? And 12/25 is terribly wise. We are all very blessed to have each other, in my (humble) opinion!
Much love to you,
Debi
I am so happy for you Jackie. And, just know that you are going to have the best looking out for you, besides us.
Diane0 -
You're welcome dear Jackie.
You're welcome dear Jackie. Fear can be a powerful thing and unfortunately, it is an emotion all of us here live with. You are entitled to an emotional break down every now and then. Just know we are here to support you all the way. Love, Lili0 -
little ingrates!Moopy23 said:Angel Care
Thank you for letting us know your test results, Jackie. It is a relief. I will continue to pray for more good test results to come, and I know they will. The good coming out of this is that you are going to get the best breast specialist around, and the best of care. Yea.
The fear you had, we all know. Please don't apologize for your emotions, ok? I for one would have reacted the same way and may yet on some day or other. And you would be there--and later tell me not to apologize. Isn't that right?
Love,
Moopy
p.s. My big sis Jackie used to call me and our brother "little ingrates." I'll have to tell her of my new angel status. Afraid she won't be impressed, though: she used to change my diapers.
Your so funny Moopy that made me laugh. I bet i would love your sister Jackie, and I bet she does know you are an angel !! LOL.
And yes Moopy I would always be there for you..and you are right again!! I would tell you not to apologize ..you little ingrate you!! Ha Ha.
Thanks for the smile,
Jackie0
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