maliamad Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
I am asking for help and i guess support. Today I feel so alone. I been married less then 2 month My huband has bone ca with unknow primary site. He just finished radiation to diffrerent sites in his body. Later today we will go to the hospital for more testing- cat
of lung and abdomen stomack etc to find the primary. Then we have the long wait until monday He will see his physician to start chemo. I hate cancer it has destoryed are life together. I feel no one understands how I feel. Please does every one understands.


  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    I am so sorry...
    I can't honestly say 'I understand' because I have not walked in your shoes. But I can tell you that unexpected positive things do happen all the time in the world of cancer. I had 3 cancer diagnoses over a span of 10 years, beginning when I was 38. I am now 61 and still here. You just never know what the future holds. I think one way to handle the future is to try hard to live in the present and take whatever happiness we can find here in this moment.
    God bless.
  • MichelleP
    MichelleP Member Posts: 254
    There are many of us here
    There are many of us here who understand how you feel completely. This disease just seems to take over our lives. It's all I think about....whether it be day or night there is no difference. I search and search on the computer for information etc. It's horrible to be a caretaker I realize, but when you love someone as much as we do we must continue to fight. Keep coming back here because there are many who can help you.

    Please let us know how you are.
  • lily33
    lily33 Member Posts: 27
    You are not alone

    My husband has been fighting stage IV kidney cancer for over 5 years. I am so sorry to hear that you have now joined in the cancer battle. You have every right to be angry. I feel that cancer has destroyed my family's live as well. Even more unfair is that this has happened so early in your marriage. I wish I had some magic words that would make everything less stressful. All I can say is to take one day at a time. Let yourself feel the emotions that flare up...sadness, anger, resentment. I have felt these (and more) every day to some degree. Let yourself cry, yell, or laugh. If you hold all your emotions in, they will just eat you away. Only fellow caregivers will really understand the feelings you are going through. Please continue to reach out to those that do understand...we are out here.

  • sue Siwek
    sue Siwek Member Posts: 279
    so sorry, you are young and
    so sorry, you are young and new to marriage and now this. just know that your husband is feeling pretty lousy about saddling you with his illness as well and wondering if you will stick around. i don't know how to tell a newly wed how to cope, just do the best you can. please get help for yourself, see your primary care doctor and have some psychological help it will help you work through you feelings without judging you.