Really Scared

queenieb52
queenieb52 Member Posts: 48 Member
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
I'm sorry I have to be here, as I'm sure we all are. I was diagnosed with Stage 3 -O cancer back in May, and after a lot of crap, was able to have surgery. I am appalled at the healthcare in this country-truly. As some of the other ppl here, when I first found out, I had no ins, no $...and no one one wants to know you. Thats a rather humbling experience right off the get go. I think we all have this 'vision' of healthcare in America, and it is sadly lacking. Not the ppl...there are wonderful ppl wanting to help. I started chemo last Wed. and all was ok till they gave me the Neulasta shot on Thur. About Sat. I started having the bone pains, and even though I started taking pain killers to get ahead of it, it has been a rough couple of days. I know I am a strong person...I am trying to get thru this with a positive attitude, because I know how important that is. My husband passed away 2 yrs ago on 7/2 and we had just moved to Florida 8 mo. prior. I then had to get right back to work as he had been sick for 4-5 yrs and we were drained financially. I no sooner got a job & settled into that & the office closed last Sept. I found out about the cancer while I was unemployed-actually I had just found another job that I started in March. Now on Friday...I'm told I'm being laid off. I have to say, this is knocking me for a loop. I am really scared. I don't know how I'm going to have done what I need done. I wasn't there long enuf for unemployment- not to mention I'm not really employable at the moment so I don't think thats even an option. I could really use some advice if anyone has any out there, because I feel quite desperate right now. Thank you.

Comments

  • jane65
    jane65 Member Posts: 277
    #2
    Dear queenieb,
    You've really been through hell, one terrible thing after another. I can only sympathize with you.

    I want to express my condolences on the loss of your husband, what a horrible blow that had to be for you.

    Regarding your treatments for cancer, discuss it with your oncologist, perhaps he can set up a payment schedule for you, or direct you to organizations or manufacturers of chemo drugs, who help- or pay for people who are in situations similar to yours.

    I assume you're too young for Medicare, have you investigated Medicaid, and welfare? I'm sure you don't want to have to go that way, but your circumstances sound dire.

    I can't think of anything else to suggest at this time. I wish you luck.
    Jane
  • Susan523
    Susan523 Member Posts: 231 Member
    #3
    Dear Queenie,
    Have you thought about applying for Social Security Disability? You may qualify with Ovarian Cancer, but I don't know for sure. It would certainly be worth looking in to. ALSO: If you get SSDI, you would also qualify to receive Medicare. It would be worth it to see if your Doctor will sign for you. http://www.ssa.gov/disability/

    Good luck xoxo ~Susan
  • queenieb52
    queenieb52 Member Posts: 48 Member
    #4
    Susan523 said:

    Dear Queenie,
    Have you thought about applying for Social Security Disability? You may qualify with Ovarian Cancer, but I don't know for sure. It would certainly be worth looking in to. ALSO: If you get SSDI, you would also qualify to receive Medicare. It would be worth it to see if your Doctor will sign for you. http://www.ssa.gov/disability/

    Good luck xoxo ~Susan

    Thank you
    Thank you for your response Susan...I have to admit...I am quite blown away by all of this. I need to join a support group, because all of my bravado seems to be escaping me & I know how important that is right now. I hate that all of a sudden I'm this whimpering mass of whatever...I've always been the glass half full person and I don't know who I am now. Thank you again...I will chk that out today. with warm regards....Beth
  • queenieb52
    queenieb52 Member Posts: 48 Member
    #5
    jane65 said:

    Dear queenieb,
    You've really been through hell, one terrible thing after another. I can only sympathize with you.

    I want to express my condolences on the loss of your husband, what a horrible blow that had to be for you.

    Regarding your treatments for cancer, discuss it with your oncologist, perhaps he can set up a payment schedule for you, or direct you to organizations or manufacturers of chemo drugs, who help- or pay for people who are in situations similar to yours.

    I assume you're too young for Medicare, have you investigated Medicaid, and welfare? I'm sure you don't want to have to go that way, but your circumstances sound dire.

    I can't think of anything else to suggest at this time. I wish you luck.
    Jane

    Thanks to you Jane...
    Thank you Jane for responding to me. I'm not usually this needy, whimpering person,,,,don't know as I like this person to be honest with you. I have spent the last 6 yrs digging strength from some dark hole, and I'm just hoping this hole is not empty. Losing my job was truly a blow, as it came from the hand of a relative. And although I truly have not dwelled on that, it saddens me very much. I have had a day or 2 to 'regroup'...again, and now I will see what I can do. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me, I really appreciate it. with warm regards....Beth
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #6
    queenieb52 said:

    Thank you
    Thank you for your response Susan...I have to admit...I am quite blown away by all of this. I need to join a support group, because all of my bravado seems to be escaping me & I know how important that is right now. I hate that all of a sudden I'm this whimpering mass of whatever...I've always been the glass half full person and I don't know who I am now. Thank you again...I will chk that out today. with warm regards....Beth

    HELLO, QUEENIEB
    I'm so sorry to hear all that you've been through, and are still going through. I'm also sorry for the loss of your husband. What a difficult time to be without your soul-mate. I'm sure you miss him very much, and his illness must have been difficult for you.

    The other ladies have given some good suggestions. I know also that Bonnie speaks often of 'compassionate care'. Maybe she will chime in and explain how that works. I hope that you're able to collect unemployment. How sad that your lost your job by a family member. I had a family member situation not long ago. I have a strong faith and believe in forgiveness, but this has been difficult for me to let go. So I know how you feel. But in view of having to deal with your health issues right now, I hope you can put that aside and focus on you. That's most important right now.

    If I can think of anything else that hasn't been mentioned, I'll post again. These are difficult times for many of us, and compounding health issues don't make it any easier. I will pray for strength for you, and that doors will be opened where the need is. Come back for hugs and support any time. And keep us informed.

    (((HUGS)))
    Monika
  • lindachris
    lindachris Member Posts: 173
    #7
    Managing the fear
    You've been through a lot and I wonder how you're dealing with it. You sure have shown strength and were smart to arrive here. From (our) humble experience I might recommend getting some anti-anxiety medicine as you move forward. It helps, I know.

    Chris
  • carol2dogs
    carol2dogs Member Posts: 132
    #8
    Not sure what to say
    Dear Quennieb,
    I'm so very glad that others have had such great suggestions, since I couldn't think of any. You truly have come to the right place here - lots of extremely knowledgeable people who have gone through the gamut of difficulties. It seems to me that you have not had the opportunity to truly appreciate what tremendous strength you have already shown for many years in taking care of your husband through his illness and dealing with the grief of his loss. You are absolutely entitled to not feel like a tower of strength every moment, especially given the finanical difficulties that have been thrust upon you. Please allow others to help you - sometimes it is much harder to receive than to give, but sometimes God wants us to learn how to do that. I really liked Chris' suggestion about asking for some anti-anxiety medications - they really are wonderfully helpful.
    You will be in my prayers and thoughts. God is great and He will help you through this.
    Love and hugs, Carol
  • Karen1418
    Karen1418 Member Posts: 48
    #9
    Dear Beth,

    I just want to offer my condolences to you and tell you I will be praying for you. And to echo what others have said about the tremendous amount of strength you have shown and that it's OK to have weak moments and look to others for help. Be kind to yourself!

    Just one thought: Do you have insurance now? If so, is there anyway you could continue on COBRA for a time?

    God be with you,
    Karen
  • BonnieR
    BonnieR Member Posts: 1,526 Member
    #10
    Hugs ♥ Prayers
    Dearest Queenie,

    So sorry you have to be on this road once again, just isn't fair is it. You have recieved lots of good advice from the other ladies so I will try not to address them once again. I will say a prayer for you and for the insurance(rememember the stimulus helps pay cobra cost actually 65%) for disability insurance (call social security) for doors to open and people to show up(God Moments) to help now.

    Sending lots and lots of hugs n prayers, please come back and let us know how you are doing. Bonnie
  • queenieb52
    queenieb52 Member Posts: 48 Member
    #11
    You all have been so kind...TY
    I would like to sincerely thank you all for your warm thoughts & advice. I have to say I have never missed my John any more than now...I so could use his arms around me. But I'm a realist amongst other things...and I know that will not happen. So I guess I have to supplement with you all...lol...please don't take offense! I do have have 2 good things to report..I had my 1st CBC after 1st chemo on July 8, and my oncology nurse was very excited because it was, to quote.."great!" WBC was right where they wanted it, platelets good, RBC good & energy level right in the middle where they wanted it. I have had no nausea, and although I did have some what wrenching bone pain at times, on Sunday after my Neulasta, I got thru it ok. She said the first is usually the worst...any comments from anybody? I have not begun to lose any hair yet, but I do eat...constantly, although my weight has stayed the same. I can't seem to eat as large a meal as I used to before my surgery(they cut me 22 cm straight up & down in abdomen as I had masses in peritoneal cavity besides the ovaries), so they told me he 'rearranged' some of my innards...which is why I feel so different. But they didn't take anything else out(this is good!) but my female parts, and slowly I'm building myself back up. I also got an appt with SS next week, so wish me well. I've been told by a number of ppl that I will qualify, and I should be able to draw from my husbands, as he was on SSDI for ESRD (end stage renal disease), even though I'm only 52. So we shall see. I have to say that if there is a snafu to be found, I will probly find it..LOL...we ran into a lot of that when John got sick. He was only 44...you can't believe the 'loopholes' you find when your faced with serious illness (he had been Type 1 diabetic for over 20 yrs). You're 'too young' for this...you 'make to much' (? are u kidding me...on Soc.Sec.??) for that....its just crazy. But again...I'm truly humbled that you all have reached out a hand to me, it really does help. xoxo....Beth
  • Staci J
    Staci J Member Posts: 1
    #12
    Queenieb52, I'm so sorry for
    Queenieb52, I'm so sorry for your trials. It must seem hopeless, but it's not. You can get through this, step by step, even if they are little steps.

    After reading your post, I think you should go to your local state representatives-house and senate. Additionally, go to your Congressman/woman and Senator. They have people in their offices who can put you in the right direction. It's their job to assist you and you have been a life long taxpayer who now needs help. I don't know what city you live in, go on line to www.house.gov and www.senate.gov. Follow the prompts for "Find your Senator", "Find your Congressman". Call their office, briefly explain your problem and they will connect you to the staff member who handles that issue.

    Let me know how that works..

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