Delay again and apologies

vhorani
vhorani Member Posts: 2
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
OK, back again. First of all, my sincere apologies if my first post offended anyone. Second of all -- I am a man whose wife has Breast Cancer. Please .. I do not wish to offend anyone. If I do let me know. I'm going through pressures myself, and I have no one to talk to.

My wife was supposed to start chemotherapy today, but the area where she had her lumpectomy was still swollen with the possibility of infection, so they decided to wait until Monday to let the antibiotics do there job.

It feels like I am standing outside watching a storm approach. Afraid and wanting to run. I stand firm to support my wife, but that doesn't eliminate my own fears. It feels like I am alone at times.

Marion
Indiana

Comments

  • Aortus
    Aortus Member Posts: 967
    #2
    Check your private message box
    Like the title says. You are more than welcome here. Check your PM box.
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #3
    Aortus said:

    Check your private message box
    Like the title says. You are more than welcome here. Check your PM box.

    There is a very good book
    There is a very good book out titled "Breast Cancer Husband" by Marc Silver. You can get a used copy on Amazon.com for a little over $2.00. Also, most hospitals offer support groups, not only for the patient, but, for the family. You might check into those. Just call any or all of them and ask. Also, the ASC can help you with information, books and support groups. Good luck!
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #4
    Welcome MARION
    I want to welcome you here to our group. I am sure you are going through many pressures, please feel free to come here with your questions or if you and you wife need support. We are here 24-7. And I know the feeling very well of standing outside watching a storm approach. I have been a care-giver to many, including my Mom and first husband. Now the shoe is on the other foot and it is me fighting the beast. Both sides are very hard but i think the helpless feeling you have is common. You are helping by the way, although it maybe doesn't feel like it. Just being there for her is the biggest help you could give someone. Standing firm and supporting your wife is of great value . you and you wife will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    Jackie
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #5
    Welcome, Marion
    I did not see/read your very first post (therefore, no offense was taken by me) - so, I welcome you here, at this one (which I am currently seeing as #2)... We are all here to support and encourage each other. As a little bit of an intro, I am now an almost six year breast cancer survivor. There are many members within this group that can count their own survivorships by decades.

    Although I'm sure your wife, and you, are frustrated by the delay in her starting chemo - it is for the best, and for her safety. A patient cannot be ill, nor have an infection, to begin with. And all during chemo, it is imperative to avoid any type of sickness/infection.

    In addition to this group, other excellent ideas and resources have also been suggested for you. There is even a Caregivers Board on this site. You are not alone.

    Our beloved and respected Aortus - husband & caregiver (and there are others like him, and you) - joined this group first. Eventually, our much beloved and precious Moopy - his wife - joined, too. Please know that if/when your own wife is ready, she'll be warmly welcomed here, also.

    I'll be hoping the infection clears up, so that your wife can start chemo on Monday, without further delay. With my best wishes to her, and to you.
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #6
    Marion
    No offense here either, everyone is welcome to this site, caregiver, survivor, newbie to the experience. Your wife is also welcome. Not sure I even saw your first post, sometimes if you are gone too long, these things get lost by some of us, so if you don't get an answer from someone, it isn't always that we are ignoring you, sometimes post slip past us.
    Your wife is lucky to have someone by her that cares enough to ask questions, and you will get plenty of info from here. Everyone gets afraid during this journey, but sometimes it does seem harder for the ones on the outside.
    Take care and let us know how her first chemo goes.
    Cat
  • dmc_emmy
    dmc_emmy Member Posts: 549
    #7
    Welcome again...
    no offense taken here either. We all, as you have read, welcome Marion to join us on this site also. We have a lot comradery here, we even crack jokes sometimes (who would have thought).

    Sorry for Marion's delay in chemo. I had to wait a month+ before I started chemo, due to surgery issues. I cannot remember the window for chemo to be most effective, but I'm sure that her dr knows what's best.

    Post when you can. Best to all of you.
    dmc
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #8
    dmc_emmy said:

    Welcome again...
    no offense taken here either. We all, as you have read, welcome Marion to join us on this site also. We have a lot comradery here, we even crack jokes sometimes (who would have thought).

    Sorry for Marion's delay in chemo. I had to wait a month+ before I started chemo, due to surgery issues. I cannot remember the window for chemo to be most effective, but I'm sure that her dr knows what's best.

    Post when you can. Best to all of you.
    dmc

    Welcome Marion. We will be
    Welcome Marion. We will be happy to answer any questions you or your wife have about what to expect from treatment. Aortus is a favorite member of this group, and he is also a loving supportive husband. So don't feel out of place. We all have different stories, but we all are dealing with the BC beast.
    Dee
  • ladybug22
    ladybug22 Member Posts: 646
    #9
    marion
    tell your wife (you are a keeper) ITS a one day at a time walk for you and her ther is light at the end of the road.just no u are never alone you will find great support for both of u
    together you will beat this. great looking family pic there. good luck from marion co. kentucky
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #10
    Welcome back...
    I saw your first post and did not see anything offensive about it. Glad you came back. My husband just voiced this same concerns to me and the doctors today. Of course you have fears and feel alone. She may have BC but as a husband you are just as effected and probably feel pretty overwhelmed with your new roles. Besides, if your like my husband, he likes to fix things and this is something he can not fix. Hang in there. I bought my husband the "Breast Cancer Husband" and he was greatful for having a book that helped him through understanding not only what I was going through, but how it effected him. You can even check it out at the library. Come back when ever you need to, we'll be glad to answer any questions you have. We're good listeners too if your just looking for an ear. :) Pammy

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