just was told no more treatment for hubby

sally72
sally72 Member Posts: 25
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
my husband has bladder cancer --- he's beat the odds in treatment every time . now his specialist has said no more treatment it's simply too much for him . he's being referred to hospice . we are both believers so we are still hopeing and not giveing up.

yet we know his time is short . we simply want to spend the time together and create memorys . i'm a bit numb . the cancer had no symptoms until it was too late to have treatment help. he's just been back to the hospital now at the rehab and i'm lonely for him.

he loves the beach and we finally live close to go visit . i plan to take us there for picnics and ensure .... pictures and a journal of our time we had together ... plenty of tissues for the tears and prayers for the fears ... no need for anything to remember our love

then maby he'll out live the dr.'s expectations and we'll live each day to the fullest

Comments

  • Julis1111
    Julis1111 Member Posts: 5
    #2
    You are an inspiring person
    Oh, Sally, my heart aches for you - we all know that someday we'll come to the end of the road in our marriages, but it's so hard when it actually happens. I have faith, too, and I will encourage you that this life is not the end.....someday this terrible journey of illness will be over. No more tears, pain, separation or weakness. It's good to have that hope, but it sure hurts bad in the meantime. I can tell through the words of your messages the tremendous love there is in your marriage. And you never know - there have been plenty of folks who beat the diagnosis. The Doctor's don't know everything. I'm saying a prayer for you.
  • soccerfreaks
    soccerfreaks Member Posts: 2,788 Member
    #3
    Hospice
    Sally, hospice does not have to mean separation. Home hospice is almost always an option. It sounds as though you and your husband would prefer that he be in familiar surroundings, among familiar people. In this case, home hospice is a most viable option and one I would look into.

    I am a survivor, myself, but when my mom was in the throes of death due to breast cancer from long ago metastasizing to her brain, my dad chose to have her care take place at home during the last weeks.

    I do not know which ocean you are referring to, but I would suspect that if you are near the ocean and near populace, home hospice will be a possibility.

    It can ease your personal burden while making your husband's life more comfortable.

    It is just a consideration.

    I truly hope that your husband and you have the opportunity to fulfill this last dream, no matter what it takes to get it done.

    Take care,

    Joe
  • sally72
    sally72 Member Posts: 25
    #4
    Julis1111 said:

    You are an inspiring person
    Oh, Sally, my heart aches for you - we all know that someday we'll come to the end of the road in our marriages, but it's so hard when it actually happens. I have faith, too, and I will encourage you that this life is not the end.....someday this terrible journey of illness will be over. No more tears, pain, separation or weakness. It's good to have that hope, but it sure hurts bad in the meantime. I can tell through the words of your messages the tremendous love there is in your marriage. And you never know - there have been plenty of folks who beat the diagnosis. The Doctor's don't know everything. I'm saying a prayer for you.

    have had experence with only has a short time left
    when i was 14 my step father was given 6 months to live ... 6 months later his dr was well i guess he'll have 6 months more at the most .

    30 years later ... he finally passed on and no one can explain it .. i can he wasn't ready to go and too ornery to give up .

    my husband has this same mindset i have too much to live for this isn't going to take me out .... because his too much to live for is the love he shares with family and friends and love conqures all
  • sally72
    sally72 Member Posts: 25
    #5
    soccerfreaks said:

    Hospice
    Sally, hospice does not have to mean separation. Home hospice is almost always an option. It sounds as though you and your husband would prefer that he be in familiar surroundings, among familiar people. In this case, home hospice is a most viable option and one I would look into.

    I am a survivor, myself, but when my mom was in the throes of death due to breast cancer from long ago metastasizing to her brain, my dad chose to have her care take place at home during the last weeks.

    I do not know which ocean you are referring to, but I would suspect that if you are near the ocean and near populace, home hospice will be a possibility.

    It can ease your personal burden while making your husband's life more comfortable.

    It is just a consideration.

    I truly hope that your husband and you have the opportunity to fulfill this last dream, no matter what it takes to get it done.

    Take care,

    Joe

    i found out you are right
    i talked to my case manager about his wanting to do hospice at home and was told that can and will be arranged thanks for the help
  • Liz_1
    Liz_1 Member Posts: 2
    #6
    Just a thought -try keeping a "Fun Calendar"
    Sally ---my husband battled cancer too --- we came up with the idea of keeping a "Fun Calendar" --every day no matter what-- we did something that we could write on that calendar ---on some of the harder days (we were on hospice at home) it was as simple as eating ice cream,watching a sunset, or just sharing a laugh. It's a treasure of mine now. I too am a believer in never giving up hope.

    Take care... Elizabeth
  • sue Siwek
    sue Siwek Member Posts: 279
    #7
    do not accept that. there
    do not accept that. there are other hospitals! go to the nearest teaching and research hospital in your area it is worth the drive.

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