A very awkward subject

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  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #42
    Sorry to chime in so late....traveling...
    I was given 6 months to live. In December 2004. The docs told my beau "Help your girlfriend get her affairs in order" and (his father died 2 weeks before I started treatment) "You may come home to another funeral".

    I'm not saying that I could not have lost my battle, but I didn't. Part of that, I feel, is because I never accepted that I COULD die from this. Now, that said, I was only a stage III, so the local lymph nodes were the only ones involved. But, 6 months later, not only was I finished with the CRC, but I was starting treatment for my second, unrelated cancer, breast cancer.

    I also found something to laugh about, every day. And, I treated my body like a comfortable old friend, pushing it as little as possible. I suffered many side effects, and had 9 bowel obstructions after my resection, but only the first one required surgery (I learned how to clear them, once I knew what it was).

    That all said, I am NO hero. I did was I did because I had no other choice. I kept my hope alive, and focused on the future, a time BEYOND the cancer...

    Hugs to you both....

    Kathi
  • eric38
    eric38 Member Posts: 583
    #43
    I am not sure why they are
    I am not sure why they are telling your husband he only has two years to live. I have multiple mets to the liver myself and recently told that my cancer was even more extensive than I thought. Even after my surgery I still have involvement all throughout my abdomen and pelvic area. My doctor told me I was incurable and that it was useless to operate on my liver with everything else that is going on and he still told me that it was possible to keep me alive for several years.

    p.s.
    Noone but God knows how long your husband has anyway. Doctors go by their medical guidelines and according to medical standards all stage 4 cancer patients are terminal but there are many cancer patients who have proven them wrong. They only know what they are taught and they are all taught the same.

    Eric(:.)
  • kristasplace
    kristasplace Member Posts: 957 Member
    #44
    Complacent doctors
    Hi Rose! This is a very interesting topic. There are so many different kinds of descrimination these days. Mine was two fold. 1. I had no health insurance. This causes a descrimination that is absolutely an epidemic in this country. 2. I'm young (at the time under 40) no doctor believed, or even suspected for a second it could be cancer. If these two factors hadn't existed, i would have received my diagnosis two years earlier, and wouldn't be in the predicament i'm in now. I have noticed in dealing with so many different doctors that there is a blanketed arrogance and complacency running amok in the profession. They're overworked, overwhelmed, and they do not like being wrong. Some would describe it as a "God" complex. I think it's a combination of things. They've been desensitized to compassion. There is very little empathy in them. I wish you two were in California. I have the most compassionate oncologist who would never put an expiration date on his patients, and he would NEVER give up. I think doctors like this are hard to find, but they're out there. If any one of the ones you see aren't like that, then keep looking for as long as it takes. You NEED that desperately. It's probably one of the most important things (besides a positive attitude) to survive this. If any doctor tells you again he's going to die, kick them to the curb!

    Many hugs, and best wishes to you and your husband!
    Krista
  • SimplyMe1
    SimplyMe1 Member Posts: 3
    #45
    ittapp said:

    Georgia Girl
    Hi Rose, I am also in Ga. and was dx. on May 12th of colon cancer with mets to the liver. I had my colon resected at Gwinnett Medical Center by a wonderful dr. I am seeing an Onc. at Suburban Hemotology and Oncology. I understand that many people come from all over the South to see Drs. here. I am seeing Dr. Sakers and he did not give me a timeline. He is very optimistic and told me they are going to shrink the liver tumor and do an ablation once it has shrunk. I am on Folfox and Avastan for chemo treatment and I take that at Gwinnett Medical.I have been very pleased by my care. I actually have a friend that went to Dr. Sakers for her colon cancer and has now had her port removed and is cancer free! I hope your able to travel to NY like you want but know there are choices in Ga. Side note...I have a friend who works for the Emory system and she thought my care was great and did not recommend me to change to Emory. Something to think about. I wish you the best of luck, Lots of prayers and have an attitude that he will be healed. By the stripes on my back you are healed...I shall not die but live and proclaim what the lord has done. Patti (Ga. Girl)

    OMG!
    Patti! Suburban Hemotology is exactly where my husband goes! He sees Dr. Sarma! I like him, but it worries me that he doesn't seem engaged enough with my husband's case. He is a very soft spoken dr, and I just feel like he is looking at every single answer to his beast. As far as MSK is concerned, the next set of scans/pet will be forwarded to them, and then they will come up with a treatment plan. I really can't wait. He is doing well right now, and we have had 2 opinions that say he is getting the correct treatment, but I would feel so much better after this visit. Rose.
  • ittapp
    ittapp Member Posts: 383 Member
    #46
    SimplyMe1 said:

    OMG!
    Patti! Suburban Hemotology is exactly where my husband goes! He sees Dr. Sarma! I like him, but it worries me that he doesn't seem engaged enough with my husband's case. He is a very soft spoken dr, and I just feel like he is looking at every single answer to his beast. As far as MSK is concerned, the next set of scans/pet will be forwarded to them, and then they will come up with a treatment plan. I really can't wait. He is doing well right now, and we have had 2 opinions that say he is getting the correct treatment, but I would feel so much better after this visit. Rose.

    Let us know
    Rose, let us know what the rusults are from Kettering, I do my chemo on Tuesdays early, maybe I will meet you one day. Stay strong....Patti
  • eric38
    eric38 Member Posts: 583
    #47
    donnare said:

    Know what you are going through
    Hi Rose,

    My husband was dx on 6/28/09 with colon cancer with over 11 mets to liver. In the first hospital he was told he had approx 2 years to live and that nothing could be done about his liver. We then went to Fox Chase in Philadelphia -- they have not given him an "expiration date" and have told us the goal is to shrink what is on his liver to get him to the point where he is a candidate for liver resection, and if that was not possible, that he could live well with this as a "chronic" condition. He had his colon resection surgery there and will start chemo in a few weeks when he is stronger. He has decided to be part of a clinical trial that helps oncoligists choose which regimin (folfox or folfiri) will work better for patients based on the level of TS protein in their tumors. He is comfortable with his docs and wants to see how things go, but he is also open to other opinions at any point in this journey. We are in NJ and MSK is about an hour or so from us and it is the place he will go next if he feels it is necessary for another opinion.

    I am relatively new to this board, and nowhere near as knowledgable as most of the people here, but I can tell you you have come to the right place. I have gotten so much information in the short time I have been coming here - not to mention the wonderful support and compassion. I was a mess just a month ago and I have so much more hope now.

    I would highly recommend the book Emily suggested - "Beating Cancer with Nutrition" - we picked it up and are both reading it and are going to supplement his chemo with good nutrition, exercise, meditation, and prayer. He is also juicing, and when he is ready we are going to take yoga classes. Another good book (on meditation) is "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Kabat-Zinn has a few books on mindfulness, as well as meditation CDs. My friend is a yoga teacher, meditates regularly and cannot say enough about the practice of meditation to control stress.

    I will keep your family and your husband in my prayers Rose. Stay strong and positive, get rest and support when you can or when you need it so you stay healthy also, and never lose hope. Don't allow cancer to "define your family or steal your joy" (thank you Eric38!).


    All the best,
    Donna

    Donna - Thanks for the
    Donna - Thanks for the mention. I am glad that some things I say are making an impact and helping.

    Eric (:.)

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