My Little Angel

tasha_111
tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
My little Angel, Jamie, Woke us up at 2 am to tell us that one of the fish tanks had a problem.....It was the 50 gallon community tank that I have had for 3 years........All the fish were dead. The aquarium salt container was half empty........I could strangle him! He kept going on and on about he hadn't done anything...........IT IS SO OBVIOUS HE DID!
I lost 100$ of fish.

Any sdvice on how to handle this would be much appreciated......he will not own up to it.

Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Comments

  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    #2
    Not the guppies???
    Please tell us the guppies weren't in that tank ....

    hugs.
    teena
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    #3
    tasha......
    I'm so sorry about losing your fish. That's an expensive loss...

    I don't know, our son seemed to be in trouble with us ALL the time, from age 11 until 19!

    It's difficult for you because Jamie is with you for only a few months and of course, you want it to be a happy time for both of you.
    I just don't know what to do in a situation like this, unless it's to try very hard to put anger aside (don't blame you for being angry though) and talk to Jamie about it.

    Wish I could offer better advice.

    Hugs,

    CR
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #4
    Oh, nooooo...
    Dear J - So sorry for the loss of your fish. Sorry, too, for Jamie's mischief. :-(

    Am not a parent; therefore, not comfortable offering advice in this instance. Again, sorry.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
    #5
    How Awful!
    I am so sorry about your loss of your beloved fish. I feel so bad they died. He should own up to whatever he did to cause this.
    Pat
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #6
    Tash
    Sorry about your fish. Who will break the news to Joe? Poor Jamie. I know he must feel bad and am sure whatever he did wasn't intentional. I know my kids have got themselves into a few fixes...to say the least and as time goes on it becomes a funny story I can humiliate them with over and over! haha. But seriously, I am sorry. Maybe your little angel could work some to buy you some new fish!
    Lotsa love
    jackie
  • Aortus
    Aortus Member Posts: 967
    #7
    rjjj said:

    Tash
    Sorry about your fish. Who will break the news to Joe? Poor Jamie. I know he must feel bad and am sure whatever he did wasn't intentional. I know my kids have got themselves into a few fixes...to say the least and as time goes on it becomes a funny story I can humiliate them with over and over! haha. But seriously, I am sorry. Maybe your little angel could work some to buy you some new fish!
    Lotsa love
    jackie

    I heard the news today, oh boy
    I am already dressed in black. It's all I can do not to start drinking again. I will never forget Aortus, Aortus, Aortus, Aortus...
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #8
    Aortus said:

    I heard the news today, oh boy
    I am already dressed in black. It's all I can do not to start drinking again. I will never forget Aortus, Aortus, Aortus, Aortus...

    Tasha, Sorry this has
    Tasha, Sorry this has happened. I agree with Cr. With him only being with you a short time, this is a hard call. However, I think you need to do something. Maybe just tell him that you do know he did this, and not telling you the truth is worse then the lose of the fish. If he does not own up to it then, there really is not to much I think you can do. He will know you know. I did not get the truth out of my older son on some of the s--- he pulled until he got married.

    PS. Joe, I am so sorry for your lose. Drinking will not bring him back. We are here for you.
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #9
    Kat11 said:

    Tasha, Sorry this has
    Tasha, Sorry this has happened. I agree with Cr. With him only being with you a short time, this is a hard call. However, I think you need to do something. Maybe just tell him that you do know he did this, and not telling you the truth is worse then the lose of the fish. If he does not own up to it then, there really is not to much I think you can do. He will know you know. I did not get the truth out of my older son on some of the s--- he pulled until he got married.

    PS. Joe, I am so sorry for your lose. Drinking will not bring him back. We are here for you.

    Not The Guppies!
    Aortus, you can come out of Mourning.. The little Aortus's are fine, in fact it looks like even more are on the way!
    No it was my big community tank---- Catfish, Neons, Tetras, green swords, giant pleco, Yoyo loaches etc etc........

    I have hidden all the chemicals now.

    Hugs and thanks to you all Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #10
    So sorry....
    Tasha, so sorry you lost your fish. However, if it were me, I would try to keep in perspective that the fish ARE replacable but my relationship with my son is too precious to become too angry with him. I would give him the benefit of the doubt that it was accidental or his curiosity got the better of him. I doubt he was doing something to be a spitefull brat or just to be mean. I would ask him to please leave the care of all pets to you and move on. Enjoy what short time you have with him because it will be over before you know it. My son did not own up to alot of his shanangans till he was in his 20's!! I think it's a teenage boy thing. :) Pammy
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #11
    Tasha, probably when your
    Tasha, probably when your son gets older, he will be more mature and own up to his wrong doings. He is probably just too young now. Kids will be kids. How old is he? I would probably have a talk with him though, about how one should tell the truth and admit when they make a mistake. Not accusing him, but, just so he knows right from wrong.
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #12
    Oh my
    Sorry Tash to hear about your fish. That's just awful. I'll bet they were beautiful and well cared for fish. I am at a loss as to how to deal with this with your son. Having no children myself, I have no reference point. Maybe speak to him during a calm time when the emotion over the event has somewhat dissipated. You can tell him that owning up to his mistakes is the most important thing to you, apart from the fish. Then you can ask him why he did it.

    I hope this resolves and that you can continue to have a good visit together.

    Mimi
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    #13
    Isn't the salt container
    Isn't the salt container SUPPOSE to be half empty???? As you can guess, I know nothing about aquariums. Do you think he dumped salt in or took salt out of the container??

    I say Chucky did it!! And then wanted to blame Jamie. Does that work????? LOL

    If he did do something particular to kill the fish, do you think he did it on purpose???
    If so, why?? Do you think he lies??? If he won't own up to it, maybe he didn't do it. "See blame Chucky above".

    You have such a short time with him, don't let him take home sad memories or ones you may regret later. I'm not making light of your loss but he is your "little angel".
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #14
    phoenixrising said:

    Isn't the salt container
    Isn't the salt container SUPPOSE to be half empty???? As you can guess, I know nothing about aquariums. Do you think he dumped salt in or took salt out of the container??

    I say Chucky did it!! And then wanted to blame Jamie. Does that work????? LOL

    If he did do something particular to kill the fish, do you think he did it on purpose???
    If so, why?? Do you think he lies??? If he won't own up to it, maybe he didn't do it. "See blame Chucky above".

    You have such a short time with him, don't let him take home sad memories or ones you may regret later. I'm not making light of your loss but he is your "little angel".

    Is there no possibility that
    Is there no possibility that this was not his fault and that there was a problem with the salt container? If not, then it is important to talk with him calmly and find out the why. Was he curious about how it worked, messing around (which teens are inclined to do), angry about something and reacted badly? I agree that you have only limited time with him and you don't want to jeopardize your relationship, but at the same time acting out angrily is a big red flag. Has he ever done something like this before or at his primary home? I do think that he needs to find a way to help pay for their loss. Can he work at the nursery with you? Maybe not for pay, of course, but the time would be a way to make amends. I didn't have boys so I don't know their mindset. The loss of the fish is terrible but the last thing you want is to lose your relationship with Jamie. Maybe giving him the benefit of the doubt is the best way to go.
    Stef
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #15
    fauxma said:

    Is there no possibility that
    Is there no possibility that this was not his fault and that there was a problem with the salt container? If not, then it is important to talk with him calmly and find out the why. Was he curious about how it worked, messing around (which teens are inclined to do), angry about something and reacted badly? I agree that you have only limited time with him and you don't want to jeopardize your relationship, but at the same time acting out angrily is a big red flag. Has he ever done something like this before or at his primary home? I do think that he needs to find a way to help pay for their loss. Can he work at the nursery with you? Maybe not for pay, of course, but the time would be a way to make amends. I didn't have boys so I don't know their mindset. The loss of the fish is terrible but the last thing you want is to lose your relationship with Jamie. Maybe giving him the benefit of the doubt is the best way to go.
    Stef

    Faux.......
    The salt container was new, looked like a 1 Litre milk carton..............before.............I told him I can't prove he did it so we'll drop it. I know I'm taking the cowards way out but...............

    Thanks Faux..........for everything........Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #16
    tasha_111 said:

    Faux.......
    The salt container was new, looked like a 1 Litre milk carton..............before.............I told him I can't prove he did it so we'll drop it. I know I'm taking the cowards way out but...............

    Thanks Faux..........for everything........Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    It isn't the cowards way out
    It isn't the cowards way out Tasha. It is just that you love your son

    and want to enjoy what time you have with him. You are a sweetheart!

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