My Mom
First off, my name is Brittany and I am 22 years old. My mother is 51 and is battling Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer.
My mom went to the ER on April 20th complaining of having a bloated abdomen and swelling in her legs. A mass was found in the pelvic area.
In 2003, my mom had a hysterectomy. There was 2 cysts found and severe endomitriosis. My mom always believed that both of her ovaries were taken out. But that wasn't the case. The ER obtained information from the surgery and apparently, the gynocologist that did the surgery back in 2003 did NOT take out both ovaries. One was left in because it was tangled. You would think that there might of been a follow up.. but that wasn't the case.
My mom underwent surgery on May 6th. The gyno/oncologist (a different one. The one that did the hysterectomy was only a gyno I think) attempted a debulking surgery. But .. nothing could be taken out, because the mass was 'like cement,' he stated. The surgery took shorter than expected.
While in the hospital, my mom received the usual chemo that is used for Ovarian Cancer (carbo plat and the taxol). I found it funny that taxol is from a tree in washington.. and my mom and I live in washington.
The first round went well. My mom was tired a lot, as expected, but that didn't stop her from walking around, taking showers, making her own food, etc.
As her daughter, I took it hard. It made me realize that my parents will not always be around to help me and that I need to grow up and learn how to do things myself. I've done all the usual things for my mom: help with bills, set up an appointment with Social Security, etc.
Anyways, when my mom went in for her 2nd treatment, .. she got really, really, REALLY sick!!
I found out that Group Health had .. only taken 2 1/2 hours for the chemo. It made me angry. The chemo is normally to be 5-6 hours! It feels like the oncologist SHOVED the chemo into my mom so that another patient could be seen!! It was INSANE!! My mom did not deserve that kind of treatment!!
My aunty had did some research and set up a second opinion with Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (Fred Hutchison). One of the top places in the nation. My mom deserves the best care possible. So I canceled her 3rd round with Group Health.
Tomorrow will be my mom's 3rd round at 7 am. I went with her, along with her siblings to the exam for the second opinion. The doctors and the resident doctor were very genuinely nice and know what they are doing. I trust that they will give my mom the best so that her life can be prolonged.
My mom has Stage 4. It is in her abdominal area, lymph nodes, and in her bones.
Her CA-125 in the ER on April 20th was 1,960.
On her 2nd chemo round .. it was 674!!!
When she told me that, she and I cried our eyes out!! I was so happy!!
My mom and I pray that she will be taken care of and receive the best care.
She stays with her significant other in the same city, because I cannot be home all day to care for her. But once she gets around and stronger, she will come back home (I work a lot). The apartment that we share is too big for just me.
I have realized that as her daughter, I cannot do anything. I can only be there for her. It is up to the doctors and the lord to help my mom. And I hope that she will be given more time here. She wants to see me get married and have children.
Thank you for reading this. I have read through this forum and have seen many wonderful people give and receive advice and I feel like I can come here anytime to read and respond to messages.
Comments
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For Brittany
You sound like a wonderful daughter who cares so much for her Mom not just as a mother but as a friend. I have been where you are. But my Mom was not strong enough for chemo, so all that was done was surgery. I do agree with you about the second opinion. It is sad that a lot of the treatment centers and hospitals and yes doctors, have certain quotas that they need to meet to order to make a profit or keep their insurance rates down. Yes, doctors have a right to make money, but insurance places have made medicine a business and that is sad. Keep a watchful eye out for your Mom. And hugs to you from one who has been there, Cindy0 -
Thank you so muchCindy54 said:For Brittany
You sound like a wonderful daughter who cares so much for her Mom not just as a mother but as a friend. I have been where you are. But my Mom was not strong enough for chemo, so all that was done was surgery. I do agree with you about the second opinion. It is sad that a lot of the treatment centers and hospitals and yes doctors, have certain quotas that they need to meet to order to make a profit or keep their insurance rates down. Yes, doctors have a right to make money, but insurance places have made medicine a business and that is sad. Keep a watchful eye out for your Mom. And hugs to you from one who has been there, Cindy
My mom
Thank you so much
My mom has internet access (in fact she's online a lot) and I sent her the link to this forums. We e-mail each other a lot. It has always been the way for us to communicate and share how we feel. It helps me.
I sometimes have to get on her case about walking! I know that she is tired a lot.. but she's got an excellent walker (my grandma calls it the cadillac walker!) - it has a place my mom can sit down if she gets tired, and a place to store items in, etc. I have a feeling that her signifiant other is a bit too easy with her and doesn't get on her case to walk! My mom has a blood clot in her leg and lung from the side effects of the 1st chemo. My uncle told me that my mom and I's roles are reversed. I feel like I'm the mother for the time being!! It is quite true and I never imagined that it would be this way.
I think my mom misses her hair. I do. She began to lose it before her 2nd round. She had me cut it off. She was scared that I would cut her. But I put a finger on her head and the scissors above it, so if I did cut, I WOULD CUT MYSELF!!! She is looking forward to her hair growing back though
She would always keep it flat ironed. She wears hats or nothing at all nowdays. Wigs are just more tiring to put on!
Before her 2nd round, she took the keys and her and I went out to eat at Ivars!! I will remember that! Her strength amazes me and I have amazed myself. I never thought that I could be this strong. 0 -
Hugs BrittanyBrittanyC said:Thank you so much
My mom
Thank you so much
My mom has internet access (in fact she's online a lot) and I sent her the link to this forums. We e-mail each other a lot. It has always been the way for us to communicate and share how we feel. It helps me.
I sometimes have to get on her case about walking! I know that she is tired a lot.. but she's got an excellent walker (my grandma calls it the cadillac walker!) - it has a place my mom can sit down if she gets tired, and a place to store items in, etc. I have a feeling that her signifiant other is a bit too easy with her and doesn't get on her case to walk! My mom has a blood clot in her leg and lung from the side effects of the 1st chemo. My uncle told me that my mom and I's roles are reversed. I feel like I'm the mother for the time being!! It is quite true and I never imagined that it would be this way.
I think my mom misses her hair. I do. She began to lose it before her 2nd round. She had me cut it off. She was scared that I would cut her. But I put a finger on her head and the scissors above it, so if I did cut, I WOULD CUT MYSELF!!! She is looking forward to her hair growing back though She would always keep it flat ironed. She wears hats or nothing at all nowdays. Wigs are just more tiring to put on!
Before her 2nd round, she took the keys and her and I went out to eat at Ivars!! I will remember that! Her strength amazes me and I have amazed myself. I never thought that I could be this strong.
Dear Brittany,
What a wonderful and amazing daughter you are ~ such a blessing to your mom. I am glad to hear your mom is doing so well and that you sent her this link. This is a wonderful place to connect with others for support and encouragement. So glad you found us, you will find other caregivers that come here for support also. Hugs N Prayers Bonnie0 -
Dear Brittany
I'm glad you found us. Your mom is so blessed to have you as a daughter. Switching to Fred Hutch was a very good choice. I have lot's of family in Seattle, an If I lived in Seattle, that is where I would choose. I wish both of you the best. Please keep us posted.
Warm hugs and prayers,
kathleen:)0 -
BrittanyBrittanyC said:Thank you so much
My mom
Thank you so much
My mom has internet access (in fact she's online a lot) and I sent her the link to this forums. We e-mail each other a lot. It has always been the way for us to communicate and share how we feel. It helps me.
I sometimes have to get on her case about walking! I know that she is tired a lot.. but she's got an excellent walker (my grandma calls it the cadillac walker!) - it has a place my mom can sit down if she gets tired, and a place to store items in, etc. I have a feeling that her signifiant other is a bit too easy with her and doesn't get on her case to walk! My mom has a blood clot in her leg and lung from the side effects of the 1st chemo. My uncle told me that my mom and I's roles are reversed. I feel like I'm the mother for the time being!! It is quite true and I never imagined that it would be this way.
I think my mom misses her hair. I do. She began to lose it before her 2nd round. She had me cut it off. She was scared that I would cut her. But I put a finger on her head and the scissors above it, so if I did cut, I WOULD CUT MYSELF!!! She is looking forward to her hair growing back though She would always keep it flat ironed. She wears hats or nothing at all nowdays. Wigs are just more tiring to put on!
Before her 2nd round, she took the keys and her and I went out to eat at Ivars!! I will remember that! Her strength amazes me and I have amazed myself. I never thought that I could be this strong.
Dear Brittany,
As the ladies said, you're Mom is so blessed to have you for a daughter. Yes, you did have to grow up fast once your Mom was diagnosed, but you are obviously a very bright young lady.
I'm staged 4B with mets. to the lymph nodes, my diagnosis was 2+ years ago, and in 1983 I had a hysterectomy where one (healthy) ovary was left, that's the one which developed my cancer.
I agree that Mom's chemo drugs were infused too fast, it should be over a 6 hour period, I'm so glad that she's being treated at a center which will give her the care she deserves.
I got a buzz cut when my hair started coming out, the way you did it for Mom was so loving and caring, you're amazing.
I hope Mom joins our forum, we'd like to talk with her and give her (and you) support and the benefit of our experience with this disease.
Good luck to you and Mom,
{{{Hugs}}}
Jane0 -
Welcome Brittany
Brittany,
I just want to echo everyone's comments. You are such an amazing daughter! You truly are doing a tremendous amount for your Mom, and I'm sure her gratitude must exceed her capacity for expressing it. I too agree with the chemo being infused way too quickly, and I'm so glad you have found a better place for treatment. It sounds like your Mom is a great fighter! It also sounds like you're quite a great Mom yourself! Please both of you keep coming here, you'll get lots of support and love.
Love and hugs, Carol0 -
Welcome and ask all you want
Dear Brittany, I am so sorry that your mother has been treated unfairly. I think we all feel that way with this diagnosis at first. I always had my annual gyn check up and pap smear faithfully, so I was deeply shocked when finally diagnosed with Stage IV Ovarian Cancer! That was in March of 2007 and I am still here and there are lots of survivors on this site so there is hope.
I found cotton bandanas from WalMart the most comfortable head covering in the hot summer and only $.99 and lots of colors. I did use wigs, scarfs, and lots of hats too. Kept me occupied during the 20 months of chemo and no hair.
My daughter has a CA125 each year with her gyn check up and will from now on. You have to ask for it and pay for it but it is a good peace of mind for her.
You are doing all the right things. That taxol really works on shrinking the tumors for most of us. I did develope a tolerance after 20 months (the last 11 in a small maintenance dose) and have been able to take a vacation from chemo for the last 9 months.
((Hugs))) Saundra0 -
Thank you, Thank yousaundra said:Welcome and ask all you want
Dear Brittany, I am so sorry that your mother has been treated unfairly. I think we all feel that way with this diagnosis at first. I always had my annual gyn check up and pap smear faithfully, so I was deeply shocked when finally diagnosed with Stage IV Ovarian Cancer! That was in March of 2007 and I am still here and there are lots of survivors on this site so there is hope.
I found cotton bandanas from WalMart the most comfortable head covering in the hot summer and only $.99 and lots of colors. I did use wigs, scarfs, and lots of hats too. Kept me occupied during the 20 months of chemo and no hair.
My daughter has a CA125 each year with her gyn check up and will from now on. You have to ask for it and pay for it but it is a good peace of mind for her.
You are doing all the right things. That taxol really works on shrinking the tumors for most of us. I did develope a tolerance after 20 months (the last 11 in a small maintenance dose) and have been able to take a vacation from chemo for the last 9 months.
((Hugs))) Saundra
Thank you, Thank you everyone
All of youre support makes me feel like I am not alone in helping my mom and that gives me so much strength.
Saundra - I have been going for yearly check ups at Planned Parenthood since I was 20. I recently got insurance from my job, and I plan to find a gynocologist/oncologist. My boyfriend's mother recommended me to this lady. I plan to make a switch, even if that means that I have to pay for birth control. It is my health and I want to take care of myself. I also will ask for CA125 also!! I have been told that I need to be firm with the doctor that I see, because they may say "You are too young!" .. I've actually read stories of women my age having Ovarian Cancer!! And pelvic pain is NOT NORMAL if one is not on their period!!
My mom was afraid of the gynocologist, but she said she is not anymore. Cancer is scary and I don't think she would want me to go through this. I also found out that my great aunt passed of Ovarian Cancer in her 40's. It shocked me.0 -
Hugs
Hi Brittany, let me say that you are a wonderful daughter!!! I'm so sorry for the experience your Mom had. You will definitely find this a place to share your ups and downs, ask questions and help others. These are amazing woman here full of encouragement, enthusiam, compassion and support. Please come here as often as you want.
I wouldn't know what to do with out my friends here.It's an awesome bunch of "Teal Warriors".
Hugs and Prayers, Terry0 -
MY MOM
Hi BrittanyYou sound like a wonderful andf caring daughter. And to your mother who raised a loving and caring daughter. She must be a wonderful mother. I am sorry that your mother had to through a bad experience because some of these Drs push us through. I am glad she is getting good treatment now. This is a wonderful site, I am also new and I have gotten so much support and alot of questions answered. No one can answer alot of the questions about how you are feeling unless they have gone through it. All of these ladies are truly TEAL WARRIORS.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mother.
HUGS!!!!!!!! Dinora0 -
GOD BLESS YOUBrittanyC said:Thank you, Thank you
Thank you, Thank you everyone
All of youre support makes me feel like I am not alone in helping my mom and that gives me so much strength.
Saundra - I have been going for yearly check ups at Planned Parenthood since I was 20. I recently got insurance from my job, and I plan to find a gynocologist/oncologist. My boyfriend's mother recommended me to this lady. I plan to make a switch, even if that means that I have to pay for birth control. It is my health and I want to take care of myself. I also will ask for CA125 also!! I have been told that I need to be firm with the doctor that I see, because they may say "You are too young!" .. I've actually read stories of women my age having Ovarian Cancer!! And pelvic pain is NOT NORMAL if one is not on their period!!
My mom was afraid of the gynocologist, but she said she is not anymore. Cancer is scary and I don't think she would want me to go through this. I also found out that my great aunt passed of Ovarian Cancer in her 40's. It shocked me.
You are such a wonderful daugther to be so supportive, loving and helpful to your Mom. As you can see, you get lots of information here, and all of our experiences can be helpful to one-another. Tell your Mom that I'll be praying for her strength and perserverance through this journey. Also, that it will kick the cancer right out of her body. I know it's a tuff road, but take one day at a time, one MOMENT at a time.
God bless you both. Sending hugs and prayers.
Monika0 -
Daughters
Brittany,
Just like all the ladies have said this is a wonderful support group that you and your mother can receive words of encouragement, advice, and love.
I too have a daughter who is going through this journey with me. She lifts me up in prayer and comes home often to see me. She is BRACA2 positive and will be undergoing a hysterectomy when she is 35.
You are so supportive of your mom and I know she appreciates your love and devotion. That is what makes this journey easier is our Lord and Savior, family and friends. Especially praying family and friends.
Remember God is good all the time, all the time God is good.
In His Grip,
Libby0
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