Question for the day

kayandok
kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
Hi teal ladies,

I just have just finished 6 cycles of gemzar/cisplatin as my second line chemo. My CA125 is at 18 which is a very good number, although it is not my "normal". My Japanese doctor's opinion is that I should stop at 6 and not continue. My feeling has been that I just want to BURN IT ALL OUT OF THERE and go for 8 cycles!! I have done very well with all my surgeries and chemo and the body seems to be holding up. Anyway, after going back and forth with him and my other doctors in the States, I made the decision today to go for it. I am going to go for number 7 and give it another shot or two.

I realized that in going through this process that my real issue is not how many chemos I do or don't do but, accepting my cancer and my condition. I have known in my head for a long time that I will not be cured and being on and off chemo will probably be my life. But my heart hasn't wanted to accept my reality. I know that many of you can relate to what I am talking about. I guess I process very slowly and am finally coming to terms with that, although I thought I had already done that :)

The good news is that I feel a burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I have just finished reading "same kind of different". It has been a one tissue box book but also very therapeutic for me. I have claimed one of the quotes in there. "I can smile today, because I woke up!!" Being a cancer survivor has helped me to be thankful for all the small things in life, but now I have one more thing to appreciate. I made it through the night and woke up to a whole new day!!

Thanks to all of you for sharing your lives and thoughts. It really is cool to be a part of this group.

Question for the day. What are you thankful for now that before your dx you took for granted?

Warm hugs to all of you,
kathleen:)

PS I am very slow to come around here. I can't figure out how to get an icon next to my name. Can anyone help?

Comments

  • beckyracn
    beckyracn Member Posts: 322
    #2
    It took me a while to come
    It took me a while to come around to the thought that cancer would be a part of me forever too; stage IV cervical with mets to pelvic/aortic/illeac lymph nodes and bladder. Although I am in remission at this time...how long, when will it rear it's ugly head again? The thing that has helped me most is the deterioration of the treatments side effects...slow, but steady. Very early on in my diagnosis I adopted a favorite old song of mine by Carol King...'you've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart'....keeping a positive attitude, even when I truly didn't feel like it, really helped. I have the energy to attend to my gardens now and keep the bird feeders filled (I've got a hummingbird feeder hanging right outside my kitchen window so they are the first thing I see)...so every morning I grab a cup of coffee and step out onto my back porch and, literally, say good morning to the birds...then wander around to my gardens pulling a weed here and there and just soak in all nature is allowing me to experience. Life is good!
  • JoanC
    JoanC Member Posts: 231 Member
    #3
    Icon and Thankful
    Kathleen,
    You won't see an icon next to your name but other people will....if you are on line there will be a plus and if you are off line a minus.
    I am thankful for my husband and his love and support but like you there are a million little things I notice and appreciate.
    (((HUGS)))) Joan
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    #4
    husbands
    I have a gem of one too!! I know I could not have made it without him. I don't see any plus or minus either.
    Hugs,
    kathleen:)
  • saundra
    saundra Member Posts: 1,370 Member
    #5
    Warm hugs back to you, Kathleen
    Sometimes the Lord calms the storm;
    And sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
    I think, today, He is calming His child by showing you to focus on the "gratitude list".

    I am grateful for close friends, today. We have five couples, plus one widow that travel, eat, take care of, love, share, etc. We have just returned from a weekend to the mountains and lots of laughs. One has just had surgery, one is having surgery this week, two have cancer, one has a bad neck. We all have something that hurts but can laugh more than any group you ever have seen. Of course, there are the close friends on this site, also. We never see each other except in pictures and yet we get to know one another and support each other.

    The site puts the + sign on when you are logged on and the - when you are off. You can't control it.

    "Hugs across the Pacific"
    Saundra
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    #6
    saundra said:

    Warm hugs back to you, Kathleen
    Sometimes the Lord calms the storm;
    And sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
    I think, today, He is calming His child by showing you to focus on the "gratitude list".

    I am grateful for close friends, today. We have five couples, plus one widow that travel, eat, take care of, love, share, etc. We have just returned from a weekend to the mountains and lots of laughs. One has just had surgery, one is having surgery this week, two have cancer, one has a bad neck. We all have something that hurts but can laugh more than any group you ever have seen. Of course, there are the close friends on this site, also. We never see each other except in pictures and yet we get to know one another and support each other.

    The site puts the + sign on when you are logged on and the - when you are off. You can't control it.

    "Hugs across the Pacific"
    Saundra

    Friends
    Dear Saundra,

    You are very blessed!! Nothing like friends and laughter for healing the soul.

    Ok, got it on the plus/minus thing. Funny it doesn't say that somewhere. Maybe I just missed it. Blame it on the chemo....

    Many blessings and hugs to you today!!
    kathleen:)
  • BonnieR
    BonnieR Member Posts: 1,526 Member
    #7
    Blessings
    Dear Kathleen,

    I love this question more than the others. I am blessed by each new day, family, friends a wonderful partner and most of all by the Father's Love n Grace.

    Hugs ♥ Prayers my friend
  • chiller
    chiller Member Posts: 11
    #8
    beckyracn said:

    It took me a while to come
    It took me a while to come around to the thought that cancer would be a part of me forever too; stage IV cervical with mets to pelvic/aortic/illeac lymph nodes and bladder. Although I am in remission at this time...how long, when will it rear it's ugly head again? The thing that has helped me most is the deterioration of the treatments side effects...slow, but steady. Very early on in my diagnosis I adopted a favorite old song of mine by Carol King...'you've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart'....keeping a positive attitude, even when I truly didn't feel like it, really helped. I have the energy to attend to my gardens now and keep the bird feeders filled (I've got a hummingbird feeder hanging right outside my kitchen window so they are the first thing I see)...so every morning I grab a cup of coffee and step out onto my back porch and, literally, say good morning to the birds...then wander around to my gardens pulling a weed here and there and just soak in all nature is allowing me to experience. Life is good!

    Still coming around
    My CA125 is great right now at 9. My CT scans are coming back good, too. I finished chemo in April. I'm having trouble dealing with the thought of every day. Will it come back? When will it come back? Do I keep working full time? I, too, have flower gardens and birds. I live in the country and enjoy my outdoor life so much. I want to go to part time and can afford to do so, but don't want to let down all the folks that have helped me through the past few months. I'm torn between getting more joy from the little things every day and continuing on with the life I've known. Those around me just want things to go back to normal. I feel like my life will never be normal again. At least it won't be the same.
  • Susan523
    Susan523 Member Posts: 231 Member
    #9
    BonnieR said:

    Blessings
    Dear Kathleen,

    I love this question more than the others. I am blessed by each new day, family, friends a wonderful partner and most of all by the Father's Love n Grace.

    Hugs ♥ Prayers my friend

    I am grateful daily....
    Grateful for so many things; beginning with my husband, who before this diagnosis, I never knew he loved me so much. And for my dog, "Bernie". He's with me through thick and thin; Night & Day.

    ~Hugs & Prayers all around
    ~Susan

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