Just Finished Treatment
Comments
-
welcome Pat
Hi Pat, and welcome..I understand how you feel about missing a loved one. I miss my mom so bad. she died in 2004. I miss calling her and us just chatting and talking about our day.
As for the feeling of "now what?" I can relate in a way. I am done with treatment, but sometimes feel like I am missing something. I do have to admit that I don't miss the long drive to Rads, but it was a daily routine and now its done.
We are here to lead a sympathetic ear and you will have lots of moral support here.
Julie0 -
Isn't this group awesome?!padee6339 said:Thanks!
Thanks everyone for the wonderful welcomes!!!! I feel part of a group now. One question, how do I get into this Daft Sod's Club???? I can start the Maryland chapter. hahaha
Pat,
Welcome! We have all felt as you do now and, even after time has passed we still have our moments (I had my 2-day pity party last week-end and I'm a 3+ yr survivor). But, that's okay. What was the '70s saying, "I'm okay. You're okay," that's us alright! The nice thing about it: no one here cares if you're up, down, or somewhere in-between and there will be likely somone signing on who feels exactly the same way you feel at the moment.
I joined a month and 9 days ago and I have, not once, felt like I didn't belong here. I signed-on being scared and confused about drug reactions and thought I was going crazy. Well, according to all the fine folks here, I'm not crazy and, the funny thing is, I don't feel like am either crazy any more. See, I told you this group is awesome!
We all belong here regardless of the prognosis, diagnosis,... We are a family, we are all friends, and we are here to walk each and everyone of us down that road to good health.
) Glad you joined in to walk with us!
dmc0 -
Warm welcome, Pat
Based on everything you've gone through, remember that you are a Warrior Princess amongst us here!
I joined this amazing group to mark my own five year anniversary for completion of all treatment (lumpectomy, chemotherapy, radiation). Although my original intention was to "give back" to others - I have gained much that I simply didn't anticipate. In particular, new friends who already feel like old friends. Becoming a member has been the best thing I've done, regarding being a breast cancer survivor. I sincerely hope it will be the same experience for you, too.
Yes, most of us (if not all) strive to regain our "old life" - yet, the experience changes us forever. In time, I'm sure you will find your own "new normal" - it simply takes a while. And, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister.
Best wishes to you, Pat. Visit often, there's always someone here...
Kind regards, Susan0 -
WelcomeChristmas Girl said:Warm welcome, Pat
Based on everything you've gone through, remember that you are a Warrior Princess amongst us here!
I joined this amazing group to mark my own five year anniversary for completion of all treatment (lumpectomy, chemotherapy, radiation). Although my original intention was to "give back" to others - I have gained much that I simply didn't anticipate. In particular, new friends who already feel like old friends. Becoming a member has been the best thing I've done, regarding being a breast cancer survivor. I sincerely hope it will be the same experience for you, too.
Yes, most of us (if not all) strive to regain our "old life" - yet, the experience changes us forever. In time, I'm sure you will find your own "new normal" - it simply takes a while. And, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister.
Best wishes to you, Pat. Visit often, there's always someone here...
Kind regards, Susan
Pat-Welcome to the group--AWESOME people.
You will get support from everyone here.
Hugs,
Margo0 -
Just wanted to welcome you
to the group too!I think the time after treatment carries with it mixed feelings. You are happy to be through and to not have to live through a schedule of appointments(especially rads every day-even though you're not there long),but at the same time you kind of feel cut off from your medical caregivers "apron strings"-and I know for me,that was very hard!You will still see them,just not as regularly as you used to.
I hope that you can find(or start your own)a support group. Until then and even when you do,we are here for you anytime of the day or night(even if it's only online)!
The bit about your mom and the wig I'm sure is upsetting. You know,I wish others who have a tough time with it would just get over it-just because they're so worried about what other people think,shouldn't mean that you can't be you!! I had the same problem a little when I first lost my hair,but when I got just a little bit of peach fuzz back-you can bet I didn't wear anything up there anymore-and if people were bothered by it,that was their problem not mine!!
I am sorry about your sister.
By the way,my name is Patty or Pat too!0 -
Welcometommaseena said:Welcome
Pat-Welcome to the group--AWESOME people.
You will get support from everyone here.
Hugs,
Margo
Hi Pat, I think we are kindred spirits. I was diagnosied last Sept also and completed treatment in May. I had chemo and a bilateral mas. I am finding the end of active treatment to be the hardest. Everyone wants you be normal again. This week was my first back to work after being off for 8 weeks. I hate my job. It just doesn't feel right anymore. My whole world view is different. I really don't want to waste my time on petty concerns. I won't. My mother is and was in complete denial about my bc. She insisited I just had a bruise. I'm not scared of a reoccurance. If it happens it happens. I am not going to live my life in fear. This is not easy I just think that you have to be who you are now.0 -
Kindred SpiritTrishyG said:Welcome
Hi Pat, I think we are kindred spirits. I was diagnosied last Sept also and completed treatment in May. I had chemo and a bilateral mas. I am finding the end of active treatment to be the hardest. Everyone wants you be normal again. This week was my first back to work after being off for 8 weeks. I hate my job. It just doesn't feel right anymore. My whole world view is different. I really don't want to waste my time on petty concerns. I won't. My mother is and was in complete denial about my bc. She insisited I just had a bruise. I'm not scared of a reoccurance. If it happens it happens. I am not going to live my life in fear. This is not easy I just think that you have to be who you are now.
I think we are kindred spirits, going through this at the same time. I am not on any medication at all for it any more, and today I am going to ask my oncologist why? It seems so many on this site are taking meds for 5 years. Why did mine stop? I think its because I was double negative and the chemo pills wouldn't work for me. I will confirm that today. Mom is good, and I think you all have given me the strength that tomorrow if we go out shopping or something, I will wear my Relay for Life t-shirt and NOT THE WIG. It is hot and uncomfortable. My Mom wore a wig for many years, she loved them. She can't understand why I hate it. Obvious. I hate what it stands for. I will take a hat or scarf with me in case we go somewhere to eat, I don't really want to make her uncomfortable. And I know it bothers her more than being embarrassed. Its a reminder that her daughter is sick and she just doesn't know how to handle it in public. At home she's fine. I am taking her home in 2 weeks. I will miss her greatly, and she will miss me, but I think its time I did get on with my life and begin the new normal. I think all Mom's wish it were them instead of us. Your Mom will come around. I bet she tells everyone how proud she is of you for the way you are dealing with it. I know mine does.
Pat0 -
Pat,padee6339 said:Kindred Spirit
I think we are kindred spirits, going through this at the same time. I am not on any medication at all for it any more, and today I am going to ask my oncologist why? It seems so many on this site are taking meds for 5 years. Why did mine stop? I think its because I was double negative and the chemo pills wouldn't work for me. I will confirm that today. Mom is good, and I think you all have given me the strength that tomorrow if we go out shopping or something, I will wear my Relay for Life t-shirt and NOT THE WIG. It is hot and uncomfortable. My Mom wore a wig for many years, she loved them. She can't understand why I hate it. Obvious. I hate what it stands for. I will take a hat or scarf with me in case we go somewhere to eat, I don't really want to make her uncomfortable. And I know it bothers her more than being embarrassed. Its a reminder that her daughter is sick and she just doesn't know how to handle it in public. At home she's fine. I am taking her home in 2 weeks. I will miss her greatly, and she will miss me, but I think its time I did get on with my life and begin the new normal. I think all Mom's wish it were them instead of us. Your Mom will come around. I bet she tells everyone how proud she is of you for the way you are dealing with it. I know mine does.
Pat
I shouldn't have vented like that about head coverings and other people's feelings. I didn't mean anything against your mom.
I guess sometimes I just wish that people thought about us(the cancer survivors) and our feelings more than their's at times. Especially when it has to do with our appearance(we have enough to think about!
I am by nature a pretty laid back person,but sometimes some things really get to me and I guess that's one of them.
Yeah,from what I've heard(and of my own experience-I'm estr,progestr,positive)it's the different kinds of cancer and that's why sometimes the meds are prescibed and sometimes not.0 -
Hi Pat, from Patoutdoorgirl said:Just wanted to welcome you
to the group too!I think the time after treatment carries with it mixed feelings. You are happy to be through and to not have to live through a schedule of appointments(especially rads every day-even though you're not there long),but at the same time you kind of feel cut off from your medical caregivers "apron strings"-and I know for me,that was very hard!You will still see them,just not as regularly as you used to.
I hope that you can find(or start your own)a support group. Until then and even when you do,we are here for you anytime of the day or night(even if it's only online)!
The bit about your mom and the wig I'm sure is upsetting. You know,I wish others who have a tough time with it would just get over it-just because they're so worried about what other people think,shouldn't mean that you can't be you!! I had the same problem a little when I first lost my hair,but when I got just a little bit of peach fuzz back-you can bet I didn't wear anything up there anymore-and if people were bothered by it,that was their problem not mine!!
I am sorry about your sister.
By the way,my name is Patty or Pat too!
I took no offense about the Mom comment. My Mom is a very strong independent woman who never, in all my life, tolerated illness. She was a Navy Wave during WWII and I guess the discipline she had there she brought home with her. One of her mottos is to never let them see your weaknesses. I love her to death, but wish she could be a little softer. She is very much like her own father. If it bothers her to see me bald, there's nothing I can do about it. I'll wear the wig for the next two/three weeks and then be done with it when she goes home. I guess at 88 she has earned the right to speak her mind, although I wish sometimes she wouldn't. LOL.
Pat0 -
Still thinkpadee6339 said:Hi Pat, from Pat
I took no offense about the Mom comment. My Mom is a very strong independent woman who never, in all my life, tolerated illness. She was a Navy Wave during WWII and I guess the discipline she had there she brought home with her. One of her mottos is to never let them see your weaknesses. I love her to death, but wish she could be a little softer. She is very much like her own father. If it bothers her to see me bald, there's nothing I can do about it. I'll wear the wig for the next two/three weeks and then be done with it when she goes home. I guess at 88 she has earned the right to speak her mind, although I wish sometimes she wouldn't. LOL.
Pat
you should go wigless(hatless,whatever) with your relay for life t-shirt on when you go shopping with her...
I've got a t shirt that says Cancer Sucks on the front and I wear it out in public sometimes-well,it does,doesn't it?!!
No,I feel for you,I wouldn't want to make her feel bad either-but sometimes you've just got to be you!0 -
Hi Toni! Just want to sayToniinNampa said:Pat,
I so understand how
Pat,
I so understand how you feel. I felt that way for a long time. No one seemed to be able to tell me what to do other than just live. That's hard to do when you life has been so upside down. I always felt like a sitting duck just waiting. It has been 11 years since I was diagnosed but just last month at my yearly check up I once again asked my oncologist how does he know if I will be ok or not. He told me there are no guarantees for anyone of us with or without cancer and I need to just live everyday the best I can. I was stage 4 and was sure it was coming back and maybe it will but I have over time learned to go on. Occasionally I get scared all over again, usually when I get the card every year for my appointment. I just want to encourage and support you. All of your feelings are normal and will get better as time goes on. As far as the wig, I only wore it because my kids were horrified if I would go out in public but eventually I just did what I wanted and went without it. That was a freeing moment for me. I embraced my baldness and was thrilled that showering was so quick and easy. Keep your chin up. Journalize, it helps a lot to write down your feelings. I still do it after all these years and when I feel down I go back and read my old entries and am thrilled to see just how far I have come. Toni
Hi Toni! Just want to say welcome!0 -
Pat, congrats on finishingconfused123 said:So happy for you that your
So happy for you that your treatment is over! For me when my treatment is over as well as now I feel like a live life a little happier and try not to let little things get to me. I have not joined a group though there are ones near me. Maybe you could post a flier somewhere and see if there is interest in a group or ask at the doc office. You could always start your own group. There are probably many women around you wondering why there is not one to go to. I feel lucky that I have a great support with friends and family and my kids keep me very busy. Also for the support group, try local hospitals, a lot of times you don't need to be getting treatment to go to groups. I am welcome to lots of things such as exercise programs etc at my local hospital but got to a different state for treatment.
I can relate to the wig problem. I think I have worn mine twice in 4 months. I prefer hats and scarves. My 6 yr old did not want me picking her up at school with out the "fake hair" on. she did not want anyone else to know. The kids have gotten better about it, hope your mom does. Maybe it is hard for her because it is a reminder something is wrong with her baby. My aunt had cancer and my grandmom said "she is still my baby even if she is 60.
Hope this helps and hope you feel better soon,
Kim
Pat, congrats on finishing your treatment!0 -
Pat, your mom...padee6339 said:Hi Pat, from Pat
I took no offense about the Mom comment. My Mom is a very strong independent woman who never, in all my life, tolerated illness. She was a Navy Wave during WWII and I guess the discipline she had there she brought home with her. One of her mottos is to never let them see your weaknesses. I love her to death, but wish she could be a little softer. She is very much like her own father. If it bothers her to see me bald, there's nothing I can do about it. I'll wear the wig for the next two/three weeks and then be done with it when she goes home. I guess at 88 she has earned the right to speak her mind, although I wish sometimes she wouldn't. LOL.
Pat
sounds like an amazing woman! My father is a WWII vet and I think war made him the strong and independent man that he is today. We don't always see eye-to-eye on even the simplest matter, but he brought me up to be strong and independent. That WWII group is tough. I don't think we are that much different from them; we are in a fight, too, and it has changed our lives for lifetime. With this change, we can make a choice to make the best of it, learn from it, and give back to others, or not. It seems to me, in her own way, your mother has decided to give back by teaching you to be strong. You, I'm sure, have thanked her many times over, in spite of her openness to speak her mind. We need strong allies on our side.
dmc0 -
Congrats Pat!confused123 said:So happy for you that your
So happy for you that your treatment is over! For me when my treatment is over as well as now I feel like a live life a little happier and try not to let little things get to me. I have not joined a group though there are ones near me. Maybe you could post a flier somewhere and see if there is interest in a group or ask at the doc office. You could always start your own group. There are probably many women around you wondering why there is not one to go to. I feel lucky that I have a great support with friends and family and my kids keep me very busy. Also for the support group, try local hospitals, a lot of times you don't need to be getting treatment to go to groups. I am welcome to lots of things such as exercise programs etc at my local hospital but got to a different state for treatment.
I can relate to the wig problem. I think I have worn mine twice in 4 months. I prefer hats and scarves. My 6 yr old did not want me picking her up at school with out the "fake hair" on. she did not want anyone else to know. The kids have gotten better about it, hope your mom does. Maybe it is hard for her because it is a reminder something is wrong with her baby. My aunt had cancer and my grandmom said "she is still my baby even if she is 60.
Hope this helps and hope you feel better soon,
Kim
Congrats Pat!0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.8K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 446 Bladder Cancer
- 309 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 397 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.4K Kidney Cancer
- 671 Leukemia
- 792 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 237 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 61 Pancreatic Cancer
- 487 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.5K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 539 Sarcoma
- 730 Skin Cancer
- 653 Stomach Cancer
- 191 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.8K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards