Husband just dx with Stage IV with liver mestases
On May 22 my husband had a CT for what his doc thought was diverticulitis. Long story short - perforated colon with spots on liver. He was admitted to hospital, biopsied and was told he has Stage IV colon cancer with over 11 spots on his liver scattered throughout. We are devastated. He hadn't even missed more than a day or two from work for the diverticulitis, and had a colonoscopy at 49. They found a polyp, biopsied and told him it was benign and he didn't have to come back for 5 years for another. All of the doctors have been sort of surprised, if you will, that it is so advanced in light of him having a colonscopy not even a full 3 yrs ago. We were told that normally colon cancer grows slowly. Is that true?
He had surgery 6/8 at Fox Chase to remove damaged portion (approx 8-10 inches) and reconnect and at that time they also put a port in his chest for chemo. The doctor said his surgery was successful, and he was released from the hospital this past Monday, but he is weak from over 3 weeks of not eating (first hospital stay before Fox Chase was 5 days during which they wouldn't even give him ice chips and he had already been on a lighter diet because of the suspected diverticulits), has been very nauseous since surgery, and is very scared and very depressed. Tomorrow he will have a PET scan to determine if there are anymore spots anywhere else, and we are meeting with an oncologist on 6/23. He just turned 52 and we have two daughters - 21 and 19.
I am also scared, depressed, angry and overwhelmed. The "spinning", for lack of a better word, has not stopped yet. I am not optimistic by nature; I wouldn't say my husband is either, but I know that with this disesase attitude is everything, so I will be trying hard to cultivate an optimistic attitude and enviroment. I read some of the posts here and feel a little more hopeful, especially with regard to ignoring the survival rates out on the net. They terrified me. I have urged my husband to join this site and to talk to others who can relate to his fears, concerns, etc. I'm sure when he feels better physically he will. We also have a wonderful family and many wonderful friends who are willing to help in anyway, and if prayers were cash, we'd be very rich people.
I would appreciate any advice on how I can help my husband and help myself stay strong for him and my daughters. I know he needs to be a fighter now - we both do. We are very, very scared of what tomorrow's scan will reveal, and just seeing him so weak now is scaring the hell out of me. He is a strong, hardworking, sensitive, independent, intelligent and beautiful man, and he is overwhelmed right now with sadness and fear. I know there are even bigger challenges ahead and I need to get a handle on the fear I am feeling so I can be a better support person to him. My husband chose Fox Chase because he felt more comfortable being treated at a cancer center. Should we get other opinions also?
I'm sorry if I am rambling or this seems disjointed - I am just starting to find my voice again and even reaching out feels scary right now.
Thanks,
Donna
Comments
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I'm Donna as well!!
Hey girl!
I was diagnosed this past Jan of 09, with Stage 4 CC, with a tumor in my liver, and believe me, I was horrified! I was 43, just a month before my 44th birthday, and never had any signs or symptoms, just weight gain, fluid started swelling around me, and I felt this "hardness" in my abdominal area where it was uncomfortable for me to even bend and tie my shoes...I decided one Sunday, to just go to the ER room to make sure I was ok, and sure enough, when they took scans of me, it showed I had a thick mass in my colon, and a large tumor in my liver. Plus, I was anemic, and my blood was so low, I needed blood transfusions, as I was losing blood from somewhere, and they didn't know where.
I was then transferred by ambulance to the James Cancer Research Center, which is on the top 20 Cancer hospitals (Please make sure your hubby goes to a reputable cancer center, not some local hospital where they don't know much about anything)...But after 5 days of tests, that is what I had, and the doctor told me that there was hope, and none on the team would give me any prognosis, because there are people who are still going there with Stage 4 cancer for like 9 years, and 14 years, they don't know, but people are living longer with it (Yes! DO NOT READ THE INTERNET STATS)
I was referred to my doctor, since she is a colon specialist, who put me on chemo first, to shrink the tumors, since I didn't have any blockages, I didn't need surgery, I am on Folfiri with Avastin, and I'm on my 6th treatment out of 12.
Chemo isn't what it used to be back in the old days, sure, there are side effects that are pretty yucky, but he can do it! He has to stay positive, and keep a positive attitude that this cancer CAN be fought. I am on an anti-depressant (Zoloft) which does help balance me, and the doctor can help him with that, he should get anti-anxiety pills should he need that as well, they take about a month to get into effect, but after the shock and horror of the diagnosis, you will be able to move on, to focus on kicking this cancer's A$$!!!!
Please tell him he is more then welcome to come here and chat, he will meet alot of us stage 4 survivors, some as many as 7 years! there is hope, especially with the new advanced technology they have these days!
Just take time to come to terms with what's going on, because you'll be like us, and want to come back swinging, he can do this, there is meds to help him with anything he needs, pain, depression, etc...My first scan was just a couple months ago, which showed the chemo had killed most of my cancer! it IS working!
I had a temp colostomy in March due to a perforated colon, and hopefully I won't have no more setbacks, heck, I was hospitalized twice in one month, watch for those infections, but please don't lose hope, there's alot of us here who are going through what you're going through, and know that we are all here for you!
Hugssss!
~Donna0 -
it is overwhelming, I know
Hi Donna,
I'm sorry to hear of your husband's diagnosis. It is most definitely very overwhelming, especially at the beginning of dealing with it all. You will find this site to be very helpful, and you said you've already read some posts with regard to not reading the survival statistics on the net, so I guess you've already seen many of our posts.
I was diagnosed as stage IV when I just turned 41, which is now almost two years ago & am doing pretty well and am living life pretty fully as a busy mom of three.
Since I never had a colonoscopy before my diagnosis, I had no idea how long the cancer had been growing in me. You said your husband just had his colonoscopy three years ago, and now he's stage IV. Wow- that is faster than I thought it could happen. Again, since I never had a colonoscopy before diagnosis, I have no idea how long (or short) of time it took to grow and then spread to my liver and lungs. I had thought maybe 6, 7, even 8 years, but maybe it wasn't that long- I guess I'll never know.
I had many tumors in my liver, just like your husband, as well as several in both lungs. The good news is that I went from being not considered a surgical candidate due to too many widespread tumors, to having 3/4 of my tumors shrink away with chemo. I then ended up having a liver resection to remove the remaining liver tumors. That was a year ago & I've recovered well from it. I did suffer a recurrence this past August (I never had postsurgical chemo- a big mistake I think). After six months of more chemo again after the recurrence, I currently am on a maintenance chemo dose and continue to get monitored. I am thankful that I feel so good and pretty much function with a "normal" life (other than dealing with bloodwork and Avastin infusions every 2 wks, scans every 3-4 months, and monthly Dr. appts). There is so much more available today for treatment for colorectal cancer than there was even 4 or 5 yrs ago- even at stage IV. I know it's lousy and overwhelming, but please do NOT feel like this is a death sentence! There are so many people on this board who are stage IV and are doing well and are stable, and quite a few who are even NED (no evidence of disease- the newer term for "remission").
I love what you said about if prayers were cash, you'd be rich. I love that! You ARE rich if you have that many people who care and are praying. Add me to the list!!!
You take care, take deep breaths, and BELIEVE that your husband will be okay!
Oh- one word of advice to keep things organized- if you aren't already doing so, keep a 3 ring binder with copies of all labwork, scan reports, doctor notes, etc. Always ask for copies of everything, including getting CD's of your husband's scans. The hospitals normally will just give it upon your request. It will be so helpful for going to Dr. appts, whether it's your regular doctor or a specialist. I've discovered numerous times that the doctor or I referred to a certain scan report, bloodwork on a certain date, etc. and it was very helpful for me to be able to just flip open my binder and have the info right there. I recently just had to buy a bigger binder!
You CAN do this! I'm not exactly sure of your beliefs, but if I could quote one Bible verse that has become my mantra, it is: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". That really gets me through this all! Note: I don't know if you were on the board a few weeks back when there was much discussion about God, the Christian faith, etc. on this board. So, just a note to everyone: no offense meant there & I'm not trying to preach- I'm just sharing one thought that happens to be a verse, but it's been sooo meaningful to me, I just had to share it- just the one!
You take care Donna!
Hugs,
Lisa0 -
There is hope
I am 38 and was recently diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. Same kind of situation as your husband. Diagnosed with diverticulitis by the proctologist and just as a precaution he gave me a colonoscopy and found a very large mass in my ascending colon. I think he was as shocked as me considering my age and the fact that my blood work was normal. Upon further investigation they found metastisis in my liver, not as many as your husband but still multiple tumors. They rushed me into surgery.They were afraid because of the size of my original tumor it would perforate my colon. During surgery they discovered that I had already been walking around with a perforated colon. They removed my whole ascending colon along with the original tumor and several lymph nodes. Now we are doing chemo for the systematic cells and liver tumors. Granted, it has not been long since my diagnosis but other than the few blah chemo days I am feeling better with every treatment. All the statistics are truly outdated and they are coming up with new things all the time. MD Anderson is on the cutting edge of cancer treatment and on their website they have more updated statistics for stage 4 colon cancer survival rates that are alot more promising. Go to md anderson website and click on colon cancer. Not to mention all the statistics have to date back to five years and I`ll bet in a few years they will find the statistics even more promising. Through being on this website and researching alot about my condition I have become more and more hopeful. Stray away from the negative stuff and most of the update dates on those negative pages go back at least a couple of years and the statistics date 5 years before that. There are people in your husbands position that are either ned now or have lived with this disease for a long time. There are many new options for liver surgery now and even if they tell you he is not a candidate for surgery there are people who didn`t start out as candidates for surgery whose cancer regressed enough to make them eligible. By the way, the newer statistics give a 5 year survival rate of 30% and even those are slighly outdated and include alot of people that are much older than your husband. To quote one of the cancer survivors on this site who also had multiple mets in liver and has been Ned (no evidence of disease) since 2002 " Statistics and odds are for horse races."
Eric0 -
By the way,eric38 said:There is hope
I am 38 and was recently diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. Same kind of situation as your husband. Diagnosed with diverticulitis by the proctologist and just as a precaution he gave me a colonoscopy and found a very large mass in my ascending colon. I think he was as shocked as me considering my age and the fact that my blood work was normal. Upon further investigation they found metastisis in my liver, not as many as your husband but still multiple tumors. They rushed me into surgery.They were afraid because of the size of my original tumor it would perforate my colon. During surgery they discovered that I had already been walking around with a perforated colon. They removed my whole ascending colon along with the original tumor and several lymph nodes. Now we are doing chemo for the systematic cells and liver tumors. Granted, it has not been long since my diagnosis but other than the few blah chemo days I am feeling better with every treatment. All the statistics are truly outdated and they are coming up with new things all the time. MD Anderson is on the cutting edge of cancer treatment and on their website they have more updated statistics for stage 4 colon cancer survival rates that are alot more promising. Go to md anderson website and click on colon cancer. Not to mention all the statistics have to date back to five years and I`ll bet in a few years they will find the statistics even more promising. Through being on this website and researching alot about my condition I have become more and more hopeful. Stray away from the negative stuff and most of the update dates on those negative pages go back at least a couple of years and the statistics date 5 years before that. There are people in your husbands position that are either ned now or have lived with this disease for a long time. There are many new options for liver surgery now and even if they tell you he is not a candidate for surgery there are people who didn`t start out as candidates for surgery whose cancer regressed enough to make them eligible. By the way, the newer statistics give a 5 year survival rate of 30% and even those are slighly outdated and include alot of people that are much older than your husband. To quote one of the cancer survivors on this site who also had multiple mets in liver and has been Ned (no evidence of disease) since 2002 " Statistics and odds are for horse races."
Eric
It is surreal
By the way,
It is surreal and it does make your head spin. Original diagnosis is the toughest to handle but it gets better and then you do what you have to do and kick into fight mode. When they originally diagnosed me with liver mets I assumed I was a dead man and that it would happen soon. It was devastating. Because you hear all those stories about how once it reaches the liver you are pretty much doomed. But that is not the case this day and age and especially with colon cancer. It is one of the most researched cancers because it is one of the most common. You and your husband should never give up hope and he has not been handed a death sentence. It won`t be easy but it is possible and I believe prayers make all the difference too. Who knows, all those chemicals might morph him into some sort of chemical superman and then you`ll have deal with him running off to fight crime.
Eric0 -
Husband stage 4
Wow, my husband found out last October. Stage4 mets to the liver and both lungs and a spot on his adrenial gland. I no what you are going through.
I joined this site first too. I got him to look at it and now he post too. I think it has helped us both.
There is hope. I have read peoples stories and it has given me hope. We are not optimistic by nature either but we have desided he needs to have hope and fight and fight hard.
He is 56 and always seemed so healthy.
Keep your chin up I know it's hard. Read what people have to say. There are many stage 4's living and fighting. Love to you both Paula G.0 -
I heard something that stuckPaula G. said:Husband stage 4
Wow, my husband found out last October. Stage4 mets to the liver and both lungs and a spot on his adrenial gland. I no what you are going through.
I joined this site first too. I got him to look at it and now he post too. I think it has helped us both.
There is hope. I have read peoples stories and it has given me hope. We are not optimistic by nature either but we have desided he needs to have hope and fight and fight hard.
He is 56 and always seemed so healthy.
Keep your chin up I know it's hard. Read what people have to say. There are many stage 4's living and fighting. Love to you both Paula G.
I heard something that stuck in my head.
1. Do what is necessary
2. Do what is possible
3. Do what seems impossible because if it is necessary, it is possible0 -
I also heard I think it was from Kimby. It is up to my doctor to get me five years and five will get me ten. Or something like that. There is so much being worked on right now that it gives us hope. Paula G.eric38 said:I heard something that stuck
I heard something that stuck in my head.
1. Do what is necessary
2. Do what is possible
3. Do what seems impossible because if it is necessary, it is possible0 -
spinning
Hi Donna,
The spinning word describes how we felt in January. My "very healthy" husband had a routine colonoscopy and they found a 9cm tumor in his cecum (small intestine and large intestine connect there). His colon cancer is Stage lllC with 7/17 lymph nodes involved. He had surgery 2 weeks after diagnosis and they removed 75% of his colon. It was tough recovering from surgery mostly because **** did not take well to the pain meds. When he got off the pain meds things went much better.
I want to encourage you that as you go through this fight it will get easier and there may be days where neither of you think of cancer. Many days will be filled with appointments and treatments but on the days that your husband feels good he can and should get out there and enjoy life. I know that sounds crazy right now cause you are at the beginning of the fight but you will get there.
**** and I were just talking about how those first trips around the hospital floor were so hard and painful. Then, he graduated to outside walks, then was discharged and could walk around the block. He just kept going. **** has stayed very active and is running 4 miles, surfing, working out at the gym and doing yoga. (He does more than me. The joke around the neighborhood is "There goes **** again, what's my excuse.") I share this with you to encourage you and your husband. Yes, **** has 3 or 4 days every two weeks that he feels junk but the rest of the days we are really working on enjoying our kids and all the good things.
The other thing is, **** has chosen to not really go on the cancer sites. I do the reading and ask the questions. For him, he says he does not want to be thinking cancer all the time. I am extremely grateful to every single person on this site who has patiently answered our questions and never once disregarded me because I am the caregiver. People have been fantastic.
Sooo we are here for you. Let us help when we can.
Aloha,
Kathleen0 -
SimiliarKathleen808 said:spinning
Hi Donna,
The spinning word describes how we felt in January. My "very healthy" husband had a routine colonoscopy and they found a 9cm tumor in his cecum (small intestine and large intestine connect there). His colon cancer is Stage lllC with 7/17 lymph nodes involved. He had surgery 2 weeks after diagnosis and they removed 75% of his colon. It was tough recovering from surgery mostly because **** did not take well to the pain meds. When he got off the pain meds things went much better.
I want to encourage you that as you go through this fight it will get easier and there may be days where neither of you think of cancer. Many days will be filled with appointments and treatments but on the days that your husband feels good he can and should get out there and enjoy life. I know that sounds crazy right now cause you are at the beginning of the fight but you will get there.
**** and I were just talking about how those first trips around the hospital floor were so hard and painful. Then, he graduated to outside walks, then was discharged and could walk around the block. He just kept going. **** has stayed very active and is running 4 miles, surfing, working out at the gym and doing yoga. (He does more than me. The joke around the neighborhood is "There goes **** again, what's my excuse.") I share this with you to encourage you and your husband. Yes, **** has 3 or 4 days every two weeks that he feels junk but the rest of the days we are really working on enjoying our kids and all the good things.
The other thing is, **** has chosen to not really go on the cancer sites. I do the reading and ask the questions. For him, he says he does not want to be thinking cancer all the time. I am extremely grateful to every single person on this site who has patiently answered our questions and never once disregarded me because I am the caregiver. People have been fantastic.
Sooo we are here for you. Let us help when we can.
Aloha,
Kathleen
I had a colonscopy 5 years ago and other then polyps that were removed there weren't any signs of cancer. 5 years later, I am at stage 4 cancer with a tumour in my acending colon. They also took out all the ascending colon and 14 lymp nodes, 8 that were affected with cancer.
My colorectal surgeon did mention to me that my tumour was located where the acending colon and the small intestines meet and I could have had a polyp here 5 years ago that was overlooked. I had been wondering the same thing.... but then my oncologist said that my tumour could have grown in 6-8 months to the size of a golf ball. So I guess that I will never know for sure. I do know that I was in pain for a long time trying to get a referral for a colonoscopy, instead I was being treated for gas, told to go home to do sit ups. I should have gone to the emergency room, instead I waited for two months for a referral, maybe it, the C word wouldn't have made to my liver......but I will never know that either :-( Maybe I don't want to know :-)
Be strong for him and try and get past the anger and remember, a cancer dagnosis is devasting and we don't know how to act some times, forgive us. We will never go back to the life that we had prior, but we will learn to live with the changes and hopefully enjoy life more.
Wish you both lots of hugs, smiles and laughter......0 -
What I did...
Donna,
When I was first diagnosed I directed my internet activities to finding people who are long-term survivors of Stage IV (as I am Stage IV). I keep a notebook and when I find a name I jot it down in my list and when I am blue I reread that list of names. My perspective is if "he/she can do it, I can do it too." That list is up to about 100 names right now. Keep in mind that so many people that have gone onto long-term survivial after this diagnosis aren't necessarily posting on user message boards. In fact a good friend of ours was diagnosed over 5 years ago with inoperable Stage IV and responded so well to chemo that he just had the colon surgery and no other surgeries. He just had his 5-year NED ct scan in April. We saw him at a party a few weeks ago and he is going fantastic. He does not post on message boards..
My neighbor's good friend had Stage IV colon cancer 15 years ago and is now 14 years NED (liver surgery was done). She doesn't post either.
When I go for treatment (I go to Memorial Sloan Kettering) I strike up conversations with others around me (on my treatment floor almost everyone is being treated for colon cancer) and I find lots of people that are doing quite well (either NED for years or well into their diagnosis but still on active treatment).
If you want to read more about the posters here just click on their usernames. Personally I had 5 bilobar liver mets (diagnosed in 11/08) and I had colon/liver resection in February. I just had my 4 month CT scan and I am NED. Important to my recovery (I believe) is exercise, eating well (avoiding sugar as much as I can and juicing fresh veggies everyday) and a simple belief that I WILL be healed. I will complete my active chemo treatment (HAI liver-directed chemo as well as systemic chemo) in late October and then will begin a heavy supplementation regimen (not currently recommended by my oncologist while I am on chemo).
The people on this board have been an invaluable support to me in many ways and I know you will find the same. I will make a contribution to your bank account and keep you in my prayers as well.
Amy
PS If your husband is currently inoperable (liver) you may want to investigate something called HAI therapy. This is a chemo pump that is inserted into the abdomen and directed right into the main liver vein. It is not in widespread use as some oncologists feel it is "older" technology. At MSK, however, people come from around the country to get this type of treatment and it can work wonders in getting people to liver resectability. I had mine implanted at my liver resection for adjuvant therapy in the hopes that I can avoid a liver recurrence. If you want any further information you can post here or PM me.0 -
5/10/20Paula G. said:I also heard I think it was from Kimby. It is up to my doctor to get me five years and five will get me ten. Or something like that. There is so much being worked on right now that it gives us hope. Paula G.
Yes, Paula, that was me. Here it is again. It's my 5/10/20 theory.
It's my doctor’s job to get me 5 years. In that time technology (researchers/trial drugs) will get me 5 more and 10 will get you 20 every time!
Grins and Giggles,
Kimby0 -
Sorrymom_2_3 said:What I did...
Donna,
When I was first diagnosed I directed my internet activities to finding people who are long-term survivors of Stage IV (as I am Stage IV). I keep a notebook and when I find a name I jot it down in my list and when I am blue I reread that list of names. My perspective is if "he/she can do it, I can do it too." That list is up to about 100 names right now. Keep in mind that so many people that have gone onto long-term survivial after this diagnosis aren't necessarily posting on user message boards. In fact a good friend of ours was diagnosed over 5 years ago with inoperable Stage IV and responded so well to chemo that he just had the colon surgery and no other surgeries. He just had his 5-year NED ct scan in April. We saw him at a party a few weeks ago and he is going fantastic. He does not post on message boards..
My neighbor's good friend had Stage IV colon cancer 15 years ago and is now 14 years NED (liver surgery was done). She doesn't post either.
When I go for treatment (I go to Memorial Sloan Kettering) I strike up conversations with others around me (on my treatment floor almost everyone is being treated for colon cancer) and I find lots of people that are doing quite well (either NED for years or well into their diagnosis but still on active treatment).
If you want to read more about the posters here just click on their usernames. Personally I had 5 bilobar liver mets (diagnosed in 11/08) and I had colon/liver resection in February. I just had my 4 month CT scan and I am NED. Important to my recovery (I believe) is exercise, eating well (avoiding sugar as much as I can and juicing fresh veggies everyday) and a simple belief that I WILL be healed. I will complete my active chemo treatment (HAI liver-directed chemo as well as systemic chemo) in late October and then will begin a heavy supplementation regimen (not currently recommended by my oncologist while I am on chemo).
The people on this board have been an invaluable support to me in many ways and I know you will find the same. I will make a contribution to your bank account and keep you in my prayers as well.
Amy
PS If your husband is currently inoperable (liver) you may want to investigate something called HAI therapy. This is a chemo pump that is inserted into the abdomen and directed right into the main liver vein. It is not in widespread use as some oncologists feel it is "older" technology. At MSK, however, people come from around the country to get this type of treatment and it can work wonders in getting people to liver resectability. I had mine implanted at my liver resection for adjuvant therapy in the hopes that I can avoid a liver recurrence. If you want any further information you can post here or PM me.
Just the word cancer is scarey enough but when its someone very close its a total shock . but don't give up and be proactive with his treatment There are alot of stage 4 that are doing ok,
I am sorry you and your husband are going threw this. Make the most of every day with your loved one. I hope he feels better soon.
michelle0 -
Thank you to all
Everyone,
Not exactly sure how to do this so I am replying to my own post but it is meant for all of you who responded to me.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your responses. Today was a particularly bad day. My husband has been very, very sick since his surgery. His doc said sometimes it takes a while before they feel better, and they've kind of been watching day by day to see if he should be re-admitted (my husband is totally against going back to the hospital).
I started the day out by going to my doc for an antidepressant for myself along with something for anxiety and he was very kind but explained how grave my husband's diagnosis is and I left the office feeling more even more panicked. Then today was his PET scan and he was so weak they had me sit in the room behind him during the scan in the event they had to stop because of his nausea. Thankfully they didn't have to stop, but he must've asked me what time it was every five minutes. They called his doc and he had him put on IV fluids and meds for nausea before we could leave. I thought I had it together somewhat, but ended up falling apart while waiting for the IV to finish. I was wondering to myself "if things are this bad now, how will he ever even get to the chemo and how will he ever be able to tolerate it". I pray that the scan doesn't show anymore than what we already know. He is so depressed already - I'm not sure how much more bad news he can take in this weakened state. We have an appt with the oncologist this coming Tuesday and I am going to speak to them about an antidepressant and counseling for him.
Anyway, I logged on here and found all of your wonderful responses, compassion, faith and positivity. Thank you for the valuable info and insights and compassion. I will keep each and every one of you in my prayers and I am so, so sorry that this has touched your lives and your loved ones lives also. A friend of my mother's told her "... in this dark time Donna will now encounter some of the most wonderful people..." and she was so right. From the nurses & docs at the original hospital who were so kind to us, to the nurses & docs at Fox Chase, all of our family and friends, and all of you who, in light of all you have to deal with, had the hearts and took the time to reach out to me. Thank you very, very much. I will "pay it forward" when I have the chance.
Peace in your hearts,
Donna0 -
I still believe there isdonnare said:Thank you to all
Everyone,
Not exactly sure how to do this so I am replying to my own post but it is meant for all of you who responded to me.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your responses. Today was a particularly bad day. My husband has been very, very sick since his surgery. His doc said sometimes it takes a while before they feel better, and they've kind of been watching day by day to see if he should be re-admitted (my husband is totally against going back to the hospital).
I started the day out by going to my doc for an antidepressant for myself along with something for anxiety and he was very kind but explained how grave my husband's diagnosis is and I left the office feeling more even more panicked. Then today was his PET scan and he was so weak they had me sit in the room behind him during the scan in the event they had to stop because of his nausea. Thankfully they didn't have to stop, but he must've asked me what time it was every five minutes. They called his doc and he had him put on IV fluids and meds for nausea before we could leave. I thought I had it together somewhat, but ended up falling apart while waiting for the IV to finish. I was wondering to myself "if things are this bad now, how will he ever even get to the chemo and how will he ever be able to tolerate it". I pray that the scan doesn't show anymore than what we already know. He is so depressed already - I'm not sure how much more bad news he can take in this weakened state. We have an appt with the oncologist this coming Tuesday and I am going to speak to them about an antidepressant and counseling for him.
Anyway, I logged on here and found all of your wonderful responses, compassion, faith and positivity. Thank you for the valuable info and insights and compassion. I will keep each and every one of you in my prayers and I am so, so sorry that this has touched your lives and your loved ones lives also. A friend of my mother's told her "... in this dark time Donna will now encounter some of the most wonderful people..." and she was so right. From the nurses & docs at the original hospital who were so kind to us, to the nurses & docs at Fox Chase, all of our family and friends, and all of you who, in light of all you have to deal with, had the hearts and took the time to reach out to me. Thank you very, very much. I will "pay it forward" when I have the chance.
Peace in your hearts,
Donna
I still believe there is hope for your husband. The darkest days are the days right after diagnosis and surgery. Surgery will definitely get you down physically. When he recovers from that he may feel alot better. There are people here with multiple tumors in liver and lungs that are still alive and kicking after 5 years. Pretty soon you will get on a routine and it will be down to business. After the initial shock wears off it will be alot easier to get your head in the game and maybe get into fight mode. It`s devastating for all of us in the beginning. The sting may never wear off but it does fade with time. You get out of the mind set that you are dying with cancer and into the mind set of living with cancer. Your husband could still be around for many more years. If you have to take anti depressants do it because staying in a funk makes it easier to give up and that is not healthy for recovery which I believe is still possible. I know you and your husband have it in you to be strong and that strength will come out when it is needed. You cannot give cancer one ounce of advantage over you. Cancer is merciless and you have to be the same way with it. A pro active approach is always the best chance for recovery. When you are up to it I would consult a surgeon who specializes in liver surgery. He may have a totally different perspective for you. That alone has saved some peoples lives. I`m sure it is hard to even think about it right now but I have learned to develop a sense of humor about it. I am not making light of it but it helps to take away some of the sting and make it seem like it`s not such a big deal even though it is. I personally went online and customised a t-shirt that says Cancer? Whatever......
I wear it on my chemo days and the onc. and nurses get a kick out of it. You can still beat this. Believe it.
Eric
Eric0 -
I like that Kimby. Lolkimby said:5/10/20
Yes, Paula, that was me. Here it is again. It's my 5/10/20 theory.
It's my doctor’s job to get me 5 years. In that time technology (researchers/trial drugs) will get me 5 more and 10 will get you 20 every time!
Grins and Giggles,
KimbyI like that Kimby. Lol
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"How I Beat Stage Four Colon Cancer"
Dear donnare. If you would be interested in my story "How I Beat Stage Four Colon cancer" just go to my site and click on blog and my story will come up. I have no medical advice, just what worked for me. God Bless blessed39
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Deadblessed39 said:"How I Beat Stage Four Colon Cancer"
Dear donnare. If you would be interested in my story "How I Beat Stage Four Colon cancer" just go to my site and click on blog and my story will come up. I have no medical advice, just what worked for me. God Bless blessed39
Donnare's husband passed away in 2012.
This is a very old thread, and several that have posted here are now dead.
TRU
0
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