scared, friend has colon stage 4

You came to a great place.
You came to a great place. There are plenty of people here who have either survived stage 4 colon cancer or have lived with it for a long time. Colon cancer is one of the most common cancers therefore it is one of the most researched cancers. They are constantly finding new ways to treat it and alot has changed in the last five years. You have to remember those statistics are based on five year studies so they come from old data and even most of those if you read the date on the page were updated 2 or more years ago. Recent studies from an Md Anderson website says that the median survival rate for stage 4 colon cancer is 30 months and the five year survival rate is 30% and even those were dating back from 2006 studies so even though that is not great it is much better than the old statistics and they will probably find that the rates are higher now. Also, even though there are more and more younger people getting the disease my surgeon told me that most of the people he sees with this disease are in their 60`s or older so those statistics include a majority of older people. So, your friend is still young and has age on their side which probably increases their chances. This is a terrible and life threatening illness but there is hope and even greater hope for the future. In a couple of years there is no telling what they will have come up with and your friend will probably still be here to reap the benefits of it.

Diagnosis
The first days and weeks after diagnosis are the scariest. You don't know were to begin or who to trust. DON'T trust stats on the internet or anywhere else! Here are my stats: I was 43 at diagnosis so less than 5% chance of getting colon canzer, less than 10% of having a second primary canzer, 8% 5 yr survival. If I can't get the disease I can't die from it. If I beat the odds to even be in this position, I'll beat the odds to be here for 5 yr survival. ASCO just released some very promising stats that improve those odds by 30%!! That is HUGE. Statistics are old and our treatments are new.

Your friend needs a team of oncologists that include a medical onc, a surgical onc and a radiation onc. They need to be able to communicate well with each other, even if your friend needs you there to translate from geek to English. They should be specialists in GI canzers and mets. This is not the time for a general medical oncologist. Look for the best.

You were just given the NCI Comprehensive canzer Center web address, but I feel strongly enough about it to post again. This is a wonderful place to start the search for a doctor and facility that she is happy with.

http://cancercenters.cancer.gov/cancer_centers/cancer-centers-list.html

She should have someone with her at every appointment taking notes or recording the appointment. My doctors even suggested a tape recorder.

She needs you. Her family and friends just being there. Try to make her laugh - it's still ok to have fun. Be there for the tears, fears and anger that will come.

I hope this helps. You are all in my thoughts and prayers,

Kimby

Just please tell your friend
Just please tell your friend not to believe those statistics,believe herself.Each individual is so different,so she shouldn't consider herself as the statistic.I also believe knowledge is power,the more you know about the disease,the better you prepare for it,and the better you handle it.You can suggest her to go to cancer.org and chemocare.com to learn about how to cope and manage cancer,and how the chemo and radiation work.Also tell her that she should stay positive and she has to make a fight to drive this cancer away for her kids and her family.I was very shocked and I was very terrified when my husband was diagnosed with cancer because I am asian and this just happened right after I arrived the U.S for a month.We had been being apart for 16 months because of the immigration process,I thought finally I am here and my hubby and I are reunited and we can go on our life,but this just happened.I couldn't stop crying everyday and I lost 5b in ten days,but finally I realized that I need to learn the knowledge and also make right decisions for getting the right treatment for my husband,so I started to learn all these knowledge and learn how to make nutritious food for my husband.I will make this fight with my husband together no matter how tough it is and we both believe finally we will win.If you can give your friend support and help,that will be great.My hubby and I are both new to the area where we are living,so we don't know any friends and we don't have relatives closed by,but we still have to make do.Also tell your friend to come to this discussion board,people here are very nice and many of them have experience with fighting cancer away successfully.Just let her post the questions that she wants to ask or maybe she can just read other people's message,all of these messages are very helpful.Good luck to you and to your friend.

You are a dear friend
Though my case was anal cancer, cancer is cancer. Good friends at this time is one of the best therapies there is. I agree with all the other posts, to not take everything you read on the Internet as there is so many different, inacorate information on the Internet. The best place for knowledge is from the doctors and right here from those who have gone through or are going through this too.

My advice to you as a friend, just be there for her, listen to her, offer to do what you can for her during this time, even if she says no at first leave the door open. The best support I had was from dear friends like you who were willing to go the extra mile for me. As time goes by and the acceptance settles in your friend will need you more then ever and she will seek your friendship and help.

Everyone is different, but for me those who were not afraid to ask me questions, wanted to know just what was going on with me, were really the one's that encouraged me the most, as so many times they asked questions I never thought of asking the doctors, they were the ones that I knew I could open up to and talk to about every aspect of my disease, and treatments. Hang in there, you will know when she is ready for all your support.

Debbie