Husband stage IV in hospital...I'm having trouble with unknowns.

Pnak
Pnak Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Esophageal Cancer #1
My husband was told stage IV spread to lymphnodes and lungs on 4/23/09. He is 32 years old, and we have two small children ages 4 and 1. Our families have not been as helpful as I hoped or thought they would be with the kids. I am having a hard time not being with my husband at the hospital. Also, It seems he has fallen so fast. I would like to talk to someone who may know where we are at. The unknowns are the worst. Thanks for listening.

Comments

  • MOE58
    MOE58 Member Posts: 589 Member
    #2
    ANOTHER SPOUSE COPING
    hi pnak,

    I know how you feel being a spouse trying to cope with cancer, i too am a spouse of a 45 year old man that worked anywhere from 45 to 6o hours a week. Never sick always outside from sun up to sundown, he was having a hard time swallowing and complaining about his upper stomach doctors thought it was his gallbladder, sent him for test until it all came back as negative. then was sent for a upper GI and thats when we found the cancer he has Esophogeal, stage 2 and is operable. We both have cried, asked why us, etc. It is a very hard thing for a spouse to go through, fortunately we don't have any kids at home so I can only imagine what you are going through with kids. He is a very kind and considerate man, but some days he just lashes out and nothing you do will please him, Therefore I just have to do the best I can. Somedays are easier than others but having the house and living on 7 acres my job duties get over the limit sometimes plus i hold down a 40 hour job.

    I know you are probably having a hard time not being there with your husband at the hosptial, have you checked with the cancer society to see if there is someone that can help with the kids while you are at the hospital? Is there a High School student somewhere close by that maybe will help you with no family willing to help?

    Also, here in our state there is help fiancially for utilties, and food, if no income is coming in? Do you all have health insurance for him?

    Has the doctors said how long his survival rate is? How long has he had this and how did you all find out?

    Also, there is a chat place you can check in on alot of us chat with one another and it has really helped me alot a another cancer person recommended it to me and i have learned so much, from just chating you might try that also.

    I am here to talk and listen as I am a spouse also

    My name is Lori but my online is Moe

    GOD BLESS

    Lori
  • Pnak
    Pnak Member Posts: 4
    #3
    MOE58 said:

    ANOTHER SPOUSE COPING
    hi pnak,

    I know how you feel being a spouse trying to cope with cancer, i too am a spouse of a 45 year old man that worked anywhere from 45 to 6o hours a week. Never sick always outside from sun up to sundown, he was having a hard time swallowing and complaining about his upper stomach doctors thought it was his gallbladder, sent him for test until it all came back as negative. then was sent for a upper GI and thats when we found the cancer he has Esophogeal, stage 2 and is operable. We both have cried, asked why us, etc. It is a very hard thing for a spouse to go through, fortunately we don't have any kids at home so I can only imagine what you are going through with kids. He is a very kind and considerate man, but some days he just lashes out and nothing you do will please him, Therefore I just have to do the best I can. Somedays are easier than others but having the house and living on 7 acres my job duties get over the limit sometimes plus i hold down a 40 hour job.

    I know you are probably having a hard time not being there with your husband at the hosptial, have you checked with the cancer society to see if there is someone that can help with the kids while you are at the hospital? Is there a High School student somewhere close by that maybe will help you with no family willing to help?

    Also, here in our state there is help fiancially for utilties, and food, if no income is coming in? Do you all have health insurance for him?

    Has the doctors said how long his survival rate is? How long has he had this and how did you all find out?

    Also, there is a chat place you can check in on alot of us chat with one another and it has really helped me alot a another cancer person recommended it to me and i have learned so much, from just chating you might try that also.

    I am here to talk and listen as I am a spouse also

    My name is Lori but my online is Moe

    GOD BLESS

    Lori

    Thank you for the great
    Thank you for the great information. Where is this chat place you were talking about? The doctors gave him an average of a year. I think they are waiting until after his first round of chemo is over before they tell us anything more.
  • MOE58
    MOE58 Member Posts: 589 Member
    #4
    Pnak said:

    Thank you for the great
    Thank you for the great information. Where is this chat place you were talking about? The doctors gave him an average of a year. I think they are waiting until after his first round of chemo is over before they tell us anything more.

    on line chat
    go up to where it says home and it will connect you to the chat and will say online chat you just follow the commands and it will walk you through it.

    if i can help further please let me know

    Lori

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