Ostomy "Noise"

Buzzard
Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
OK, I was just now in church at a meeting and yep I did it.....farted in front of 8 people...Thats it, I am looking for a muffler or a cork, doesn't matter, Im not embarrassed but just aggravated....Surely with Multi Million dollar inventions, prosthetics ,etc they have some type of muffler system that will work.....Anyone got any suggestions except for the kuzzoo that my wife keeps telling me about....?

Comments

  • taraHK
    taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
    #2
    woops
    woops. I've had that happen before. If you have a nanosecond of knowledge beforehand, you can try slamming your elbow or (slightly more obvious) hand over the stoma. Otherwise, i think a "pardon me" is all one can do.....Embarraising but....what can yuo do.

    Tara
  • lmliess
    lmliess Member Posts: 329
    #3
    So annoying!
    Yes - I had a BDay party for my 5 year old yesterday and everytime I sat down to chat with someone, mine decided to wake up! I was so annoyed because it does not normally do that. And no one but close family knows about it. However, I made a great bean dip......need I say more. But it was funny when I went to bed my stomach was one big air bubble so I got the heating pad out and massaged out a 'bubble'. However it was so loud my husband woke up freaked out by it!! I laughed so hard it hurt....I am still really sore from my two surgeries. I had to laugh because otherwise I would cry from humiliation!
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #4
    lmliess said:

    So annoying!
    Yes - I had a BDay party for my 5 year old yesterday and everytime I sat down to chat with someone, mine decided to wake up! I was so annoyed because it does not normally do that. And no one but close family knows about it. However, I made a great bean dip......need I say more. But it was funny when I went to bed my stomach was one big air bubble so I got the heating pad out and massaged out a 'bubble'. However it was so loud my husband woke up freaked out by it!! I laughed so hard it hurt....I am still really sore from my two surgeries. I had to laugh because otherwise I would cry from humiliation!

    tara...
    I already hold my hand over it most of the time and I let it ease up one time and whoop there it is....I am going to invent a muffler system...something has got to work..I have farted in front of my last person........could have been the Mexican I ate last night......Ya Think.....:)
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #5
    Yup
    I had that happen in front of three men - yikes. I got red and walked away and they had no clue why but at least my husband was there to continue the conversation. I have no warning and during Mass is the most embarrassing time for me. I still can't sit long, so I have to stand in back of church and if "Bella" decides to start singing Alleluia when the rest of the congregation doesn't, I'm outta there. Hasn't happened yet, but that is on my mind constantly. Believe me living with your hand on your ostomy is not a way to live. I hate it and I would rather have a funny attitude about it, but I'm too new to an ostomy to take "Bella" singing with a grain of salt.

    Sorry I'm not much help, because you've helped me so much. I just guess these are one of the things "we give up to God" literally :)

    Kim
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #6
    Annabelle41415 said:

    Yup
    I had that happen in front of three men - yikes. I got red and walked away and they had no clue why but at least my husband was there to continue the conversation. I have no warning and during Mass is the most embarrassing time for me. I still can't sit long, so I have to stand in back of church and if "Bella" decides to start singing Alleluia when the rest of the congregation doesn't, I'm outta there. Hasn't happened yet, but that is on my mind constantly. Believe me living with your hand on your ostomy is not a way to live. I hate it and I would rather have a funny attitude about it, but I'm too new to an ostomy to take "Bella" singing with a grain of salt.

    Sorry I'm not much help, because you've helped me so much. I just guess these are one of the things "we give up to God" literally :)

    Kim

    yep.....
    I have just about "sang" in front of all of my friends so I guess its just a matter of remembering who I know that I haven't farted in front of yet and calling them to invite myself over and just get it over with...I guess that way I'll have all my bases covered....Oh well, as they say Life Goes On......... Thank Goodness :)

    Thinking that the kuzoo (sp) doesn't sound to bad now......
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #7
    Buzzard said:

    yep.....
    I have just about "sang" in front of all of my friends so I guess its just a matter of remembering who I know that I haven't farted in front of yet and calling them to invite myself over and just get it over with...I guess that way I'll have all my bases covered....Oh well, as they say Life Goes On......... Thank Goodness :)

    Thinking that the kuzoo (sp) doesn't sound to bad now......

    Would this help?
    I don't have an ostomy, so thankfully have not had your lovely experience. It did make me wonder, though. If you say you usually keep your hand over it to prevent the noises, would it help to wear some kind of wrap over it to apply pressure? Like I say, I don't have one, so this may be a totally stupid idea.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    #8
    tootsie1 said:

    Would this help?
    I don't have an ostomy, so thankfully have not had your lovely experience. It did make me wonder, though. If you say you usually keep your hand over it to prevent the noises, would it help to wear some kind of wrap over it to apply pressure? Like I say, I don't have one, so this may be a totally stupid idea.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    I can relate.....
    ....I have an ostomy as well, but thank goodness I haven't had it "sing" in front of anyone yet, except my family, sometimes my family can barely hear it, they hear alittle "bubble" sound and will look at me, and I just point to my husband and tell them "he did it!!" seems to work for me :)


    Hugsss!!
    ~Donna
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #9
    Shayenne said:

    I can relate.....
    ....I have an ostomy as well, but thank goodness I haven't had it "sing" in front of anyone yet, except my family, sometimes my family can barely hear it, they hear alittle "bubble" sound and will look at me, and I just point to my husband and tell them "he did it!!" seems to work for me :)


    Hugsss!!
    ~Donna

    Noise
    When "Bella" sings she sounds like a fart coming out the front and I can't explain that away. She just wants to make noise. Oh well. She has a mind of her own.
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #10
    Annabelle41415 said:

    Noise
    When "Bella" sings she sounds like a fart coming out the front and I can't explain that away. She just wants to make noise. Oh well. She has a mind of her own.

    Thinking Outloud............
    I think I will just get a shirt with "I have an ostomy and an Ipod, Guess which one you just heard ? ".......That should do it.....you think ? :)
  • menright
    menright Member Posts: 256 Member
    #11
    Ostomy muffler
    Buzzard:

    Sign me up once you invent the muffler system. This is an embarassing issue and I would welcome a solution.

    I am trying Beano, but it has not eliminated the noise...maybe it less frequent but I'm not convinced of that either.

    Best of luck with your muffler invention. I will anxiously await news of your success.

    Mike
  • Paula G.
    Paula G. Member Posts: 596
    #12
    Buzzard said:

    Thinking Outloud............
    I think I will just get a shirt with "I have an ostomy and an Ipod, Guess which one you just heard ? ".......That should do it.....you think ? :)

    You make me laugh
    I no it really isn't funny but the shirt idea cracked me up!!! You just have a way about you Buzzard.... I needed a laugh today. Good luck and thanks.
  • tiny one
    tiny one Member Posts: 465 Member
    #13
    Buzzard said:

    Thinking Outloud............
    I think I will just get a shirt with "I have an ostomy and an Ipod, Guess which one you just heard ? ".......That should do it.....you think ? :)

    I Pod
    Buzzard you sure make us all laugh and smile. Have you heard of a redneck horn? It's a hoot to have in the car. It has some neat sayings
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #14
    menright said:

    Ostomy muffler
    Buzzard:

    Sign me up once you invent the muffler system. This is an embarassing issue and I would welcome a solution.

    I am trying Beano, but it has not eliminated the noise...maybe it less frequent but I'm not convinced of that either.

    Best of luck with your muffler invention. I will anxiously await news of your success.

    Mike

    On the Trail........
    Ok Guys and Gals....Im on the trail for a muffler system that does not protrude out from our clothing...Those that do not like the Kuzoo(sp) idea then you will just have to wait for a little while but I will come up with a solution....I can't believe there is nothing for us.....

    or maybe.............we can use earplugs in our own ears and when we (pass gas) "Politically correct" or fart then we won't hear it so it doesn't embarrass us...Hows that for a start....I think Im on the right track...... anybody got any suggestions....? :)
  • JR
    JR Member Posts: 139 Member
    #15
    Buzzard said:

    On the Trail........
    Ok Guys and Gals....Im on the trail for a muffler system that does not protrude out from our clothing...Those that do not like the Kuzoo(sp) idea then you will just have to wait for a little while but I will come up with a solution....I can't believe there is nothing for us.....

    or maybe.............we can use earplugs in our own ears and when we (pass gas) "Politically correct" or fart then we won't hear it so it doesn't embarrass us...Hows that for a start....I think Im on the right track...... anybody got any suggestions....? :)

    Blame it on the dog.
    Just keep your dog close by at all times. After all, he is mans best friend. When some gas passes, the dog did it.

    John
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #16
    A question
    Were you sitting in a pew?
    Sorry Buzzard, I couldn't resist.
    If I had one I'd learn to play it like a bagpipe I think.
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #17
    PhillieG said:

    A question
    Were you sitting in a pew?
    Sorry Buzzard, I couldn't resist.
    If I had one I'd learn to play it like a bagpipe I think.

    LOL....
    Good one Phil.....LOL...Yes, for a second Phil I was...and so was everyone else...Phil, its that type of humor that everyone in here needs...we may have not met eye to eye on a lot of things but thats past history and your still hiliarious, keep up the good work, people in here need it.....also, nice tie..... LOL
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #18
    Buzzard said:

    LOL....
    Good one Phil.....LOL...Yes, for a second Phil I was...and so was everyone else...Phil, its that type of humor that everyone in here needs...we may have not met eye to eye on a lot of things but thats past history and your still hiliarious, keep up the good work, people in here need it.....also, nice tie..... LOL

    :- )
    That is true Buzzard, but it's ok to disagree. Sometimes I have a hard time with it and I get cranky but I get over it. The bottom line is that you and I and others are here to help each other.
    Yes, that is some tie. The don't make them like that any more (I hope). The nuns made me wear it at catholic school which may explain some of my past behavior.
    ;-)
    Hope you're feeling OK.
    -p
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #19
    Buzzard said:

    Thinking Outloud............
    I think I will just get a shirt with "I have an ostomy and an Ipod, Guess which one you just heard ? ".......That should do it.....you think ? :)

    Oh My Goodness
    Thing is I don't have an Ipod so I guess they would guess that one real fast on me LOL Kim
  • nudgie
    nudgie Member Posts: 1,478 Member
    #20
    Great Sound
    Great sound as my husband would say. I was soooo constipated throughout my teen and adult life that I never really passed gas (farted) or had regular/normal bowel movements, so my husband loves to hear that sound now-a-days.

    His words: It's nice to know it is working :)

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