lumpectomy vs masectomy?
Comments
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You are not alone...Akiss4me said:Confused & dazed
(isn't that a song?) anyway, thanks for validating my feelings Jeanne. I am VERY confused and (sniff, sniff) having a very bad day today. Just one of those things where I'm sure that when I wake up tomorrow, I'll find the bad feelings have faded into the background.
For the first time today I noticed the emotional strain this has caused to my husband & Son (Daughter handling much better) that it upsets me horribly; that I caused our lives to be so disrupted. Son due to take LSAT's on Monday June 8th. He quit job, moved back home and has been studing EVERY day for past 2 months. Now I see the look of concern on his face and I don't want to be the cause of him missing that "1" point he needs to get into best school. Or my husband whom I'm sure doesn't know what to do (although I have managed to point out all the wrong things he has done thus far) and it bothers me the way I have been acting towards him because he certainly does not deserve it. What scares me most is this is just the beginning and how will we ever make it through if this is a taste of what it will be like? I can't handle living my life at the moment let alone make a decision....I wish our attitudes didn't change with the diagnosis. I want the person back I was a month ago....I seem to have lost her in such a short time.
Hang in there... I'm here... just like we all are...here for you... For the last two days I have been like you... It really is a roller coaster ride. I found out.. was mortified.. cried.. angry... only spoke to a very select few people about it.. for me...I had to create a little army of positive people to deflect the negativity I new I would get from my family... (Sister, Mother) they are both very negative... after 2 days I was feeling good... scared but almost like it really wasn't happening..
Then met with the doctor on Wednesday and spent two more days crying... angry... pushing people away... My daughter (20yrs) is very strong and positive...My son, (22) I see, just as you discribed, the hurt, pain, fear in his eyes... the stress of it all.. I see it in my husband too...
I know we are going through it... living it... I guess we need to remember that it is happening to them to.. just in a different way.. I have decided to try to find some sort of support group for them as well... just a place they can express their fears... My husband is not handeling it as well as he would like me to think he is.. and vise versa.. same with the children...
How can our attitudes not change with something like this... it's a blow.. but we WILL GET BACK TO WHO WE ARE.. .THIS IS TEMPORARY... go easy on yourself.. There are so many emotions that we are feeling.. and they change.. sometimes day to day and sometimes moment by moment...
Take sometime to be kind to yourself... this will make it easier to deal with others...Sometimes I find myself snapping at my husband.. daughter (who lives with us with her fiance and my new three month old grandson)... but then I recognize that I need to regroup... I take sometime alone... bubble bath... music..computer...in my room until I feel a little better... I haven't been able to hold my grandson for the last week and normaly you couldn't pry him from my arms.... but guess what... I'm going to hold him today!!
You and I are pretty much in the same place on this journey... I will hold your hand... I will give you a hug... and so will all of these amazing women who have come before us...You are beautiful... in the big sceme of things, this is just a moment in time... a blip on the radar... and it will pass... and when we get to the other side (of kicking the beast in the a**) we will be like so many of these women... helping people who are just beginning on this journey...
My love... prayers... and hugs...
~T0 -
Alltaleena said:You are not alone...
Hang in there... I'm here... just like we all are...here for you... For the last two days I have been like you... It really is a roller coaster ride. I found out.. was mortified.. cried.. angry... only spoke to a very select few people about it.. for me...I had to create a little army of positive people to deflect the negativity I new I would get from my family... (Sister, Mother) they are both very negative... after 2 days I was feeling good... scared but almost like it really wasn't happening..
Then met with the doctor on Wednesday and spent two more days crying... angry... pushing people away... My daughter (20yrs) is very strong and positive...My son, (22) I see, just as you discribed, the hurt, pain, fear in his eyes... the stress of it all.. I see it in my husband too...
I know we are going through it... living it... I guess we need to remember that it is happening to them to.. just in a different way.. I have decided to try to find some sort of support group for them as well... just a place they can express their fears... My husband is not handeling it as well as he would like me to think he is.. and vise versa.. same with the children...
How can our attitudes not change with something like this... it's a blow.. but we WILL GET BACK TO WHO WE ARE.. .THIS IS TEMPORARY... go easy on yourself.. There are so many emotions that we are feeling.. and they change.. sometimes day to day and sometimes moment by moment...
Take sometime to be kind to yourself... this will make it easier to deal with others...Sometimes I find myself snapping at my husband.. daughter (who lives with us with her fiance and my new three month old grandson)... but then I recognize that I need to regroup... I take sometime alone... bubble bath... music..computer...in my room until I feel a little better... I haven't been able to hold my grandson for the last week and normaly you couldn't pry him from my arms.... but guess what... I'm going to hold him today!!
You and I are pretty much in the same place on this journey... I will hold your hand... I will give you a hug... and so will all of these amazing women who have come before us...You are beautiful... in the big sceme of things, this is just a moment in time... a blip on the radar... and it will pass... and when we get to the other side (of kicking the beast in the a**) we will be like so many of these women... helping people who are just beginning on this journey...
My love... prayers... and hugs...
~T
of what you plan is good. But I need to be a wet blanket on one thing: this is not temporary. You will not "fix" this and go back to life as you knew it. Oh, you can get close but it's like having a major job change and things will be different. And your family is confused/shocked/upset because this doesn't happen. But it did and you need to let them know that *you* need *their* support. Because you are in the fight of your life and the damn roller coaster doesn't stop when requested to.
But it gets better. And come here with questions, venting, whatever you need.
Maureen0 -
MaureenEveningStar2 said:All
of what you plan is good. But I need to be a wet blanket on one thing: this is not temporary. You will not "fix" this and go back to life as you knew it. Oh, you can get close but it's like having a major job change and things will be different. And your family is confused/shocked/upset because this doesn't happen. But it did and you need to let them know that *you* need *their* support. Because you are in the fight of your life and the damn roller coaster doesn't stop when requested to.
But it gets better. And come here with questions, venting, whatever you need.
Maureen
I wasn't refering to our fight as temporary just the violent mood swings that go with it in the beginning... at least I hope it's temporary... at somepoint doesn't it level out some??? When treatment is complete... From what I have been reading... and reading... it seems that though it is always there... the emotions eventually mellow out some... I sure hope so...because I don't know if I could live with me.. if it doesn't0 -
much needed and greatful!!taleena said:You are not alone...
Hang in there... I'm here... just like we all are...here for you... For the last two days I have been like you... It really is a roller coaster ride. I found out.. was mortified.. cried.. angry... only spoke to a very select few people about it.. for me...I had to create a little army of positive people to deflect the negativity I new I would get from my family... (Sister, Mother) they are both very negative... after 2 days I was feeling good... scared but almost like it really wasn't happening..
Then met with the doctor on Wednesday and spent two more days crying... angry... pushing people away... My daughter (20yrs) is very strong and positive...My son, (22) I see, just as you discribed, the hurt, pain, fear in his eyes... the stress of it all.. I see it in my husband too...
I know we are going through it... living it... I guess we need to remember that it is happening to them to.. just in a different way.. I have decided to try to find some sort of support group for them as well... just a place they can express their fears... My husband is not handeling it as well as he would like me to think he is.. and vise versa.. same with the children...
How can our attitudes not change with something like this... it's a blow.. but we WILL GET BACK TO WHO WE ARE.. .THIS IS TEMPORARY... go easy on yourself.. There are so many emotions that we are feeling.. and they change.. sometimes day to day and sometimes moment by moment...
Take sometime to be kind to yourself... this will make it easier to deal with others...Sometimes I find myself snapping at my husband.. daughter (who lives with us with her fiance and my new three month old grandson)... but then I recognize that I need to regroup... I take sometime alone... bubble bath... music..computer...in my room until I feel a little better... I haven't been able to hold my grandson for the last week and normaly you couldn't pry him from my arms.... but guess what... I'm going to hold him today!!
You and I are pretty much in the same place on this journey... I will hold your hand... I will give you a hug... and so will all of these amazing women who have come before us...You are beautiful... in the big sceme of things, this is just a moment in time... a blip on the radar... and it will pass... and when we get to the other side (of kicking the beast in the a**) we will be like so many of these women... helping people who are just beginning on this journey...
My love... prayers... and hugs...
~T
Wow, thank you Taleena!! I just sat back down from looking all over my house for you (ok, I give up....where are you hiding?). I feel like you are standing right next to me watching everything play out just as you said!! Thought I would wake up this morning feeling a little better (there I go again, made my head hurt from thinking!). Was thinking to myself what a crappy day was ahead of me until I read your post. Thank you soooo much for making me feel better (It definitely was not the coffee.....toooo stronge!!). I'm sorry that you are going thru the same (as I'm sure many of us have) but on the other hand I'm truely thankful the Lord has put someone in my life that is experiencing a similar situation at the very same time (guess he choose you!). Your help is much needed and I am very, very grateful that we are in the same place in our journey....(yippie!!) I smell fresh coffee! Guess they didn't like what I made either (Ha Ha). Hugs back to you....Pammy0 -
Mood swingstaleena said:Maureen
I wasn't refering to our fight as temporary just the violent mood swings that go with it in the beginning... at least I hope it's temporary... at somepoint doesn't it level out some??? When treatment is complete... From what I have been reading... and reading... it seems that though it is always there... the emotions eventually mellow out some... I sure hope so...because I don't know if I could live with me.. if it doesn't
You're right, they mellow. But, unfortunately, it takes a long time and several ladies here have mentioned crying at the drop of a hat. I'm not quite at that point but I cry easier and am more emotional than I was before. But I was diagnosed in January 2009 so I am not that far out myself.
Maureen0 -
Coffee... did someone sayAkiss4me said:much needed and greatful!!
Wow, thank you Taleena!! I just sat back down from looking all over my house for you (ok, I give up....where are you hiding?). I feel like you are standing right next to me watching everything play out just as you said!! Thought I would wake up this morning feeling a little better (there I go again, made my head hurt from thinking!). Was thinking to myself what a crappy day was ahead of me until I read your post. Thank you soooo much for making me feel better (It definitely was not the coffee.....toooo stronge!!). I'm sorry that you are going thru the same (as I'm sure many of us have) but on the other hand I'm truely thankful the Lord has put someone in my life that is experiencing a similar situation at the very same time (guess he choose you!). Your help is much needed and I am very, very grateful that we are in the same place in our journey....(yippie!!) I smell fresh coffee! Guess they didn't like what I made either (Ha Ha). Hugs back to you....Pammy
Coffee... did someone say coffee... count me in...:)
~T0 -
Decisions like this are so hard...
Pammy,
I've been reading this forum for a few weeks, and just today registered. Even though I've been eaves-dropping all this time, I've found this group to be a fantastic community of people willing to share and be rocks of support for others. I thank all of you.
I've read your post and all of the responses (which have been wonderful). I zeroed in on your post stating your fears about a lumpectomey and radiation and a recurrence in the future. I had invasive cancer (no node involvement) in 2000 which was treated with a lumpectomy and radiation. Since then, I've had all the normal tests along with MRI's and some biopsies that were all OK until late last year.
Early this year, the biopsy showed that I had developed DCIS in the same breast where I had had invasive cancer. This required a mastectomy, but my surgeon talked to me about my alternatives which included DIEP reconstruction (fat and tissue are removed from your abdomen and a breast 'mound' is made from this fat and tissue). Using microsurgery, the blood supply is reattached under your arm. Although the number of doctors who can perform this is limited, it is a good alternative if you have some abdominal fat that can be used. (They are really using the fat that would be removed and discarded in a tummy tuck). And, it can be done whether or not you've had radiation.
I would encourage you to talk to your breast surgeon about the feasibilty of doing this type of reconstruction, in the future, if you decide to do a lumpectomy now and later need a mastectomy.
I wouldn't have been ready for a mastectomy in 2000, so a lumpectomy was the right thing for me, at the time. But, this year, I chose a bilateral mastectomy (done 4/22) with immediate reconstruction, and I have no regrets.
Joyce0 -
Thanks from me toojk1952 said:Decisions like this are so hard...
Pammy,
I've been reading this forum for a few weeks, and just today registered. Even though I've been eaves-dropping all this time, I've found this group to be a fantastic community of people willing to share and be rocks of support for others. I thank all of you.
I've read your post and all of the responses (which have been wonderful). I zeroed in on your post stating your fears about a lumpectomey and radiation and a recurrence in the future. I had invasive cancer (no node involvement) in 2000 which was treated with a lumpectomy and radiation. Since then, I've had all the normal tests along with MRI's and some biopsies that were all OK until late last year.
Early this year, the biopsy showed that I had developed DCIS in the same breast where I had had invasive cancer. This required a mastectomy, but my surgeon talked to me about my alternatives which included DIEP reconstruction (fat and tissue are removed from your abdomen and a breast 'mound' is made from this fat and tissue). Using microsurgery, the blood supply is reattached under your arm. Although the number of doctors who can perform this is limited, it is a good alternative if you have some abdominal fat that can be used. (They are really using the fat that would be removed and discarded in a tummy tuck). And, it can be done whether or not you've had radiation.
I would encourage you to talk to your breast surgeon about the feasibilty of doing this type of reconstruction, in the future, if you decide to do a lumpectomy now and later need a mastectomy.
I wouldn't have been ready for a mastectomy in 2000, so a lumpectomy was the right thing for me, at the time. But, this year, I chose a bilateral mastectomy (done 4/22) with immediate reconstruction, and I have no regrets.
Joyce
Joyce.. I have been having the same struggle as Penny... thank you for sharing your story with us.. and welcome to the group, I watched for only a couple of days before joining...When the doctor told me "malignant" I was thrown back to a 12 year old who walked in the front door after school to hear a terrible scream from the bathroom... it was my mother seeing herself for the first time after a masectomy... That was my introduction to breast cancer. They hadn't told me...
I am scared, and wonder what I should do, but like you in 2000, I'm not sure I'm ready to take that route... however, if like you the beast rears his ugly head again, I will have no other option and that will be fine. I just think for me, at this time, it is the option I choose for myself.. maybe I'm just to scared, my mother says vain... and wants me to have the masectome, but for me for now... it's what I choose.
Again, thank you for sharing.... and welcome...
~T0 -
tram flap?jk1952 said:Decisions like this are so hard...
Pammy,
I've been reading this forum for a few weeks, and just today registered. Even though I've been eaves-dropping all this time, I've found this group to be a fantastic community of people willing to share and be rocks of support for others. I thank all of you.
I've read your post and all of the responses (which have been wonderful). I zeroed in on your post stating your fears about a lumpectomey and radiation and a recurrence in the future. I had invasive cancer (no node involvement) in 2000 which was treated with a lumpectomy and radiation. Since then, I've had all the normal tests along with MRI's and some biopsies that were all OK until late last year.
Early this year, the biopsy showed that I had developed DCIS in the same breast where I had had invasive cancer. This required a mastectomy, but my surgeon talked to me about my alternatives which included DIEP reconstruction (fat and tissue are removed from your abdomen and a breast 'mound' is made from this fat and tissue). Using microsurgery, the blood supply is reattached under your arm. Although the number of doctors who can perform this is limited, it is a good alternative if you have some abdominal fat that can be used. (They are really using the fat that would be removed and discarded in a tummy tuck). And, it can be done whether or not you've had radiation.
I would encourage you to talk to your breast surgeon about the feasibilty of doing this type of reconstruction, in the future, if you decide to do a lumpectomy now and later need a mastectomy.
I wouldn't have been ready for a mastectomy in 2000, so a lumpectomy was the right thing for me, at the time. But, this year, I chose a bilateral mastectomy (done 4/22) with immediate reconstruction, and I have no regrets.
Joyce
Thanks joyce for bringing up another option. I have considered this possibility, however, I am pretty sure I do not have enough belly (I'm very petite) to do both breast (not sure I would want one "belly boobie" & one implant down the road). Which bums me out because I wouldn't have minded the free belly tuck!! Did you choose that proccedure or expanders if you don't mind my asking?
0 -
By the way.....jk1952 said:Decisions like this are so hard...
Pammy,
I've been reading this forum for a few weeks, and just today registered. Even though I've been eaves-dropping all this time, I've found this group to be a fantastic community of people willing to share and be rocks of support for others. I thank all of you.
I've read your post and all of the responses (which have been wonderful). I zeroed in on your post stating your fears about a lumpectomey and radiation and a recurrence in the future. I had invasive cancer (no node involvement) in 2000 which was treated with a lumpectomy and radiation. Since then, I've had all the normal tests along with MRI's and some biopsies that were all OK until late last year.
Early this year, the biopsy showed that I had developed DCIS in the same breast where I had had invasive cancer. This required a mastectomy, but my surgeon talked to me about my alternatives which included DIEP reconstruction (fat and tissue are removed from your abdomen and a breast 'mound' is made from this fat and tissue). Using microsurgery, the blood supply is reattached under your arm. Although the number of doctors who can perform this is limited, it is a good alternative if you have some abdominal fat that can be used. (They are really using the fat that would be removed and discarded in a tummy tuck). And, it can be done whether or not you've had radiation.
I would encourage you to talk to your breast surgeon about the feasibilty of doing this type of reconstruction, in the future, if you decide to do a lumpectomy now and later need a mastectomy.
I wouldn't have been ready for a mastectomy in 2000, so a lumpectomy was the right thing for me, at the time. But, this year, I chose a bilateral mastectomy (done 4/22) with immediate reconstruction, and I have no regrets.
Joyce
Welcome .....and as long as we are confessing (shhhh...) I did alot of eaves dropping before I couldn't resist anymore. Realized how much we need each other Pammy 0 -
I was in a dazeAkiss4me said:perky boobie!!!
Wow Jackie....feel like you were in my head tonight! If I go for masectomy....definitly both!! Want a matching set. But it's soooo hard to make these kind of decisions in such a short time. Heck, if I were making a major purchase, I would only proceed AFTER I was 100% sure!! (No matter how long it took!). I feel like the sand in my hour glass is running out & you can't flip it over. Or maybe I'm running away from the decision; afraid of making a wrong one?
I went through this part in a daze unable to make decisions just did what the Doctors said without thinking about my options. I only knew i wanted it out! That is why you are being so smart to weigh your options and go into it with informed choices. I wish I would have. You are so blessed to have found this board so early on in your journey. Keep us posted.
hugs
Jackie0 -
DIEP is like Free TRAM Flap
Pammy,
The DIEP surgery is very similar to the Free TRAM flap; it is not the same surgery that is normally associated with the term 'TRAM Flap', where the tissue is tunneled up to the breast. With the DIEP and the Free TRAM flap, the tissue and fat are actually disconnected and moved to the make the breast.
There is another surgery called GAP reconstruction which takes part of your buttocks to make the breast. I have seen instances where people have had one DIEP and one GAP surgery, so their breasts both 'age' together. This might be an option for you.
In 2000, neither of these options would have been available, so I'm very thankful that I didn't have a recurrence quickly after the original diagnosis.
Please don't think that I am trying to encourage you to do the lumpectomy over the mastectomy: as everyone has stated, the decision needs to be right for you. I just wanted to try to reassure you that there are probably options if you choose the lumpectomy route and you need a mastectomy sometime in the future.
Joyce0 -
I went for....jk1952 said:DIEP is like Free TRAM Flap
Pammy,
The DIEP surgery is very similar to the Free TRAM flap; it is not the same surgery that is normally associated with the term 'TRAM Flap', where the tissue is tunneled up to the breast. With the DIEP and the Free TRAM flap, the tissue and fat are actually disconnected and moved to the make the breast.
There is another surgery called GAP reconstruction which takes part of your buttocks to make the breast. I have seen instances where people have had one DIEP and one GAP surgery, so their breasts both 'age' together. This might be an option for you.
In 2000, neither of these options would have been available, so I'm very thankful that I didn't have a recurrence quickly after the original diagnosis.
Please don't think that I am trying to encourage you to do the lumpectomy over the mastectomy: as everyone has stated, the decision needs to be right for you. I just wanted to try to reassure you that there are probably options if you choose the lumpectomy route and you need a mastectomy sometime in the future.
Joyce
I went for the lumpectomy thinking it would be a small operation and a few scars and no second operation for reconstruction.
My lump was so huge, I had a massive lumpectomy which left me with less than a third of the breast and a horrible nipple facing up and out. I still am lop-sided and have to wear a prosthesis....and I still have to have mammos.
I will NOT be having reconstructive surgery, implants etc. Maybe I would have been better off going for the whole breast off.
jxxxxxxxxxxxx0 -
Hmmm....free buttlift!!jk1952 said:DIEP is like Free TRAM Flap
Pammy,
The DIEP surgery is very similar to the Free TRAM flap; it is not the same surgery that is normally associated with the term 'TRAM Flap', where the tissue is tunneled up to the breast. With the DIEP and the Free TRAM flap, the tissue and fat are actually disconnected and moved to the make the breast.
There is another surgery called GAP reconstruction which takes part of your buttocks to make the breast. I have seen instances where people have had one DIEP and one GAP surgery, so their breasts both 'age' together. This might be an option for you.
In 2000, neither of these options would have been available, so I'm very thankful that I didn't have a recurrence quickly after the original diagnosis.
Please don't think that I am trying to encourage you to do the lumpectomy over the mastectomy: as everyone has stated, the decision needs to be right for you. I just wanted to try to reassure you that there are probably options if you choose the lumpectomy route and you need a mastectomy sometime in the future.
Joyce
now that I can use!! Forgot about that option. Thanks for bringing it up joyce. If I recall, they will only do one side at a time since this involves turning you during surgery and the healing process. Definitly something to think about though...0
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