incident at the gym

Carol9439
Carol9439 Member Posts: 6
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I need your opinions regarding an incident at the gym yesterday. First a little about me, I have metastatic breast cancer since 2005. This is the second time that I have lost my hair and probably will not get it back since I will be on chemo for the rest of my life. I am an upbeat person and count my blessings that I am still alive.
I joined the planet fitness gym in November 2008. I go to the gym faithfully three times a week with two friends. I usually wear a bucket hat with fake hair attached or fake bangs. Since the weather is getting warm and my head is getting hot, yesterday I wore a scarf, one from the TLC catalog tied in the rosette style. I had on the hat liner and fake bangs. When my friend and I passed the front desk a staff member told me that I would have to take off my scarf. It was against the rules to wear a bandana. I said no I would not take my scarf off. My friend said to the staff person that I had breast cancer. I told the staff person (Laurie) that I did not have any hair. Laurie said I could wear the scarf today but not in the future cause it would be discrimination against others who wanted to wear a scarf. Laurie told me to wear a baseball cap. I said no I was not going to wear a baseball cap because it would show my bald head. Laurie said she would ask the manager and let me know what he said. Laurie also said I could email the corporate headquarters and ask them. When we were leaving Laurie said the manager said no that I could not wear my scarf any more. My friend and I noticed a person in an office and we ask if he was the manager. Another staff member said yes he was. I was annoyed that he did not have the courtesy to talk with me in person. He was obviously not busy, just sitting around talking. I was also annoyed that the gym has the little pink ribbons displayed and the race for the cure. Yea real funny race for the cure but don’t let a breast cancer person wear a scarf because it would be discrimination. When I returned home I had several messages on my phone from the gym now stating that corporate headquarters said I could wear the scarf. Laurie asked if I would return the call which I did and she apologized. I am still upset how this was handled. I was not treated like an ordinary person. I would like to write to there corporate headquarters, what do you think. All your opinions are welcome. Sorry this story was so long
Thanks, Carol9439

Comments

  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #2
    Carol, I think that is
    Carol, I think that is horrible what they did to you. What is wrong with those people? And, you are right, you weren't treated fairly. I really don't understand people like that. I would think, if anything, they would have treated you more gently and kinder than others. This really shocks me. I am so sorry and apologize for their ignorance. My best to you!
  • corey50
    corey50 Member Posts: 111
    #3
    INCIDENT AT THE GYM
    hi carol,
    i would definitely write to the corporate headquarters of this gym and also write a letter to the manager of that branch. and i would make it scathing. lately i just can't take it when people in the service industry are rude and unaccomodating. and when someone who works at the desk of a gym act like they are better than you. no excuse.
    if it was me i would probably quit that gym, but thats just me.
    after you told them that you had breast cancer, which why should you have to give that info unless you want to, they should have let you wear whatever you want on your head.
    good luck with whatever you decide to do.
    and GODSPEED to you.
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #4
    corey50 said:

    INCIDENT AT THE GYM
    hi carol,
    i would definitely write to the corporate headquarters of this gym and also write a letter to the manager of that branch. and i would make it scathing. lately i just can't take it when people in the service industry are rude and unaccomodating. and when someone who works at the desk of a gym act like they are better than you. no excuse.
    if it was me i would probably quit that gym, but thats just me.
    after you told them that you had breast cancer, which why should you have to give that info unless you want to, they should have let you wear whatever you want on your head.
    good luck with whatever you decide to do.
    and GODSPEED to you.

    SUE 'EM!
    If you were wearing a scarf because of religious beliefs or culture (Eg Muslim) They would have never have dared say a word!

    Sue them for Hairless Descrimination.!

    Jxxxxxxxxx
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #5
    Sigh, our travels as warriors are sometimes rocky...
    But, good show for making a point!!!! We are emissaries for the warriors that follow us. You handled it soooooo well, with poise and strength!!!!

    If I were you, Carol, I would take the high road. Here in So. Calif, a scarf/bandanna is a gang sign, so that is probably what you ran in to. I would write the corporate office, and thank them for their understanding, saying something to the effect of:

    'We breast cancer warriors are shaken from the changes in our appearance, as well as other body changes. Thank you for being understand of my situation. I knew there would be an answer, considering your obvious show of support for breast cancer survivors, with the pink ribbons and the signs around the gym. It is hard enough for me to live a normal life with no hair, thank you, again, for giving me a little piece of normal!'

    That's my 2 cents...we are here to educate people that cancer is NOT freakish, and IS survivable!

    Hugs, Kathi

    BTW....take care of weights on the arm/arms that had lymph nodes removed...the right amount is great, the wrong amount can lead to lymphedema.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #6
    Insensitivity
    Carol~

    Unfortunately, you experienced being part of the "one size fits all" company policies so prevalent today! And obviously, one size rarely fits all~ or even most! It is, I think, the complete lack of fellow-feeling which affects us the most! Of course most of us don't want to be the one to set a precedence when things go badly, or to have to sue a company, or go to the local TV news to get justice. Sadly, we can also see how some are forced to take things a step further, because of the situation you found yourself in.

    I am glad that smarter heads prevailed, and that of course you and your scarves will be seen at the gym regularly! How ironic that the pink ribbons festooned the gym...sigh!

    One thing is certain~ these discussion boards have the most empathetic warrior-survivors anywhere! We do know what its like to be bald, afraid, triumphant, set-back,hopeful: you name it, we feel it!

    I think you should indeed write to corporate headquarters, especially mentioning the pink ribbons! At the very least they will indeed know how important this was to you and others who will be coming to the gym while undergoing chemotherapy. And, who knows? You may even get a few months free as an apology! :-)

    Keep fighting the good fight~ and keep us posted!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #7
    tasha_111 said:

    SUE 'EM!
    If you were wearing a scarf because of religious beliefs or culture (Eg Muslim) They would have never have dared say a word!

    Sue them for Hairless Descrimination.!

    Jxxxxxxxxx

    I'm so glad you went to the
    I'm so glad you went to the corporate headquarters and didn't let these mindless little cretins at the facility bully you. I would still follow up with a letter about how you were treated so that they can make an effort to educate their staff.
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #8
    Carol, yes~yes~yes write the
    Carol, yes~yes~yes write the corporate office and soon. I would be kind in your presentation especially if you intend to continue to frequent this gym. In the body of you letter I would be certain to note how degrading and inconsiderate the staff was in the handling of you unique situation. At the very least some sensitivity training is needed. As Chen said I would make sure they realize how hypocritical it was to deny you your right to cover your head while they displayed the pink ribbons and race for a cure posters, what is the deal with that do they want the cure so they no longer have to deal with us at the gym? I am sorry you had to run into such clods but you seemed to have handled it well.

    image

    RE
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #9
    Kudos to you, Carol9429!
    First off, I'm sorry you had to endure all of this - especially considering you're a long-term member at the gym! Geez...

    However, and most importantly, I sincerely applaud the way in which you handled this difficult - on so many levels - situation. With grace and dignity. You GO, girl!

    Yes, I would most definitely write that letter. And, as soon as possible while the incident is still current. "Real" letters - via "snail mail" - are still the very best way to gain the attention of those at the top who can truly make a difference. Communication written on a piece of paper is rarely ignored. Unlike email, voice mail, etc. I suggest you retain your grace and dignity within your letter, while still strongly making clear your point of view.

    Best wishes to you.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #10
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    #11
    Christmas Girl said:

    Kudos to you, Carol9429!
    First off, I'm sorry you had to endure all of this - especially considering you're a long-term member at the gym! Geez...

    However, and most importantly, I sincerely applaud the way in which you handled this difficult - on so many levels - situation. With grace and dignity. You GO, girl!

    Yes, I would most definitely write that letter. And, as soon as possible while the incident is still current. "Real" letters - via "snail mail" - are still the very best way to gain the attention of those at the top who can truly make a difference. Communication written on a piece of paper is rarely ignored. Unlike email, voice mail, etc. I suggest you retain your grace and dignity within your letter, while still strongly making clear your point of view.

    Best wishes to you.

    Kind regards, Susan

    Hey Carol. I can't believe
    Hey Carol. I can't believe that happened to you. And, after they had the pink ribbons and the race for the cure info around. What a bunch of hypocrits! You should most certainly write the corporate company and make them aware of how a breast cancer patient/survivor was being treated at their gym. I would think they would be appalled.

    You acted more respectfully than I would have. I would have thrown a fit. lol I just don't understand how anyone could be like that, nor, will I ever.

    I wish you the best Carol, and, keep us updated please.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #12
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    No Wonder!
    Sheesh.....I get it! "Planet Fitness" is evidently not from THIS planet! We need to take the time to explain the ways of us who live on the 3rd rock from the sun; obviously, P-F managers are aliens. Make them show you their "Green Cheese Cards" the next time you show up wearing a head-scarf! :-)

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #13
    Carol,
    I am sorry this happened to you. The result of mindless corporate dronism, I think. But, I am proud that you held your ground and stood up for yourself. No one should be able to treat you that way. The problem is that no one stopped to think what the purpose of the original rule was. Surely it wasn't to stop breast cancer survivors from attending the gym. The person at the desk doesn't have much power, but she could have used her brain or at least acted with more tact. This was very poorly handled. Thankfully, corporate headquarters had someone with a brain to reverse that decision. I would write a well worded letter to corporate to let them know how you felt when you were forced to discuss a condition that was none of their business. Let them know the hurt they caused you. Beyond that, hold your head up high and get your exercise as often as you like.

    Mimi
  • eric38
    eric38 Member Posts: 583
    #14
    You should have been trated
    You should have been treated with more dignity. I am glad corporate made it right but the employees at the gym completely dropped the ball.
  • ladybug22
    ladybug22 Member Posts: 646
    #15
    You shoould wright and let
    You shoould wright and let then know just how it made you feel.I dont no what to say. that takes the cake.
  • jgridley
    jgridley Member Posts: 169
    #16
    Incident in the gym
    I would! You go girlllllllllllllllllllllllll
    Julie
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #17
    another point to consider....
    carol, another point to consider on the discrimination issue....I am not a baseball fan (No offense to those who are) and do not care to wear a baseball cap. Why is this type of headress allowed and who decided this particular item was acceptable? I was raised that men wore baseball caps + women wore scarfs....Can we not keep our feminism in the gym? Must we conform to a manly nature to use the facilities? I would definitly write that letter and then next time I went wore the brightest pink scarf I could find!!! However, kudos to you for setting a great example on how to handle a very "hairy" situation!! :) Pammy

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