Hi. I'm new.

reindeer4
reindeer4 Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
This is my first visit to this website and I am amazed at all the information and support. I began my TCH chemo treatments in December and finished about a month ago. I'm now on day 16 of 33 radiation treatments, and will get Hercepton every three weeks through December. In the last week I find myself feeling more sad and anxious than usual and I'm wondering if anyone had these feelings crop up when they were in the "middle" of treatment?

Comments

  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #2
    Welcome reindeer
    Yes, many of us have felt the "end of treatment blues" as that time approaches. You are released from the hassles of treatment, but also from the comfort of constant doctor care and attention. You are, in a sense, on your own. After months of appointments, it can be hard to transition into this new state. People can feel lost or that their cancer is no longer being actively fought. I am right with you on this one. I finished chemo in April as well and am now on treatment 10 out of 33 rads. I have found myself getting weepy more often lately. I think it is the fear or recurrence slowly creeping up. It's natural, reindeer. The one great thing for feelings like this is to express them on this site. That way, the ladies (and gentlemen) here can help you out and identify with your thoughts. You've come a long way in your cancer journey and should be proud of yourself. The after-treatment phase will present new challenges and opportunities, and, just like before, you will learn to cope with them. Each step you make is a success. My radiation oncologist says that I will become more confident as each of my maintence scans comes back clear. I am thinking she's right. Again, welcome, reindeer.

    Mimi
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #3
    Hi, Reindeer
    First, congratulations on completing your chemo and half of your radiation treatments. I finished chemo 3 weeks ago and am getting ready for radiation.

    I tend to feel more sad and worried when I am especially tired. Also, I noticed that at certain points in the chemo treatment I would feel more down and scared. It was almost at the same time every cycle, so I knew the treatment was a big part of my feelings. Maybe that is what is happening with you, if you are noticing a pattern to when your feelings are more intense.

    As Mimi said, too, it seems that the post-treatment phase brings its own challenges. The treatments and close monitoring by doctors is reassuring; then, suddenly, we are on our own. That could also be a part of why you're feeling anxious as the end of treatment is close.

    Anyway, you have come to the right place to share your thoughts and feelings about the whole cancer journey. I am glad you found us and welcome you here.
  • ritazimm
    ritazimm Member Posts: 171
    #4
    WELCOME
    Welcome to the family. As the other ladies have expressed, this is very normal and it will continue for some time. I really expected everything to get back to normal as soon as I finished chemo and then radiation and they didn't for me. I had too mental games playing in my head and found it very hard to move ahead. In July I will be 1 year out from my last radiation treatment and I still have my days of sadness and fear but they are getting to be less and less all the time and I am finding ways to better handle them when they do appear. I am very thankful that you have found this wonderful family of fellow survivors. I found them last month and have been very blessed by them. I sure wish I had known them sooner so that I could have been helped through some of it by them. It was such a HUGE relief when I did find them because I finally realized that the feelings are normal and that I am not crazy (well maybe I am but not due to the cancer or treatment). Please feel free to ask ANY questions that you have or voice your thought about ANYTHING!!! I think you will find that your thoughts, fears, and worries have been shared by many others and this will help you to deal with them in a more productive manner. You'll be in my prayers!

    God bless,
    Rita
  • lafera12
    lafera12 Member Posts: 63
    #5
    ritazimm said:

    WELCOME
    Welcome to the family. As the other ladies have expressed, this is very normal and it will continue for some time. I really expected everything to get back to normal as soon as I finished chemo and then radiation and they didn't for me. I had too mental games playing in my head and found it very hard to move ahead. In July I will be 1 year out from my last radiation treatment and I still have my days of sadness and fear but they are getting to be less and less all the time and I am finding ways to better handle them when they do appear. I am very thankful that you have found this wonderful family of fellow survivors. I found them last month and have been very blessed by them. I sure wish I had known them sooner so that I could have been helped through some of it by them. It was such a HUGE relief when I did find them because I finally realized that the feelings are normal and that I am not crazy (well maybe I am but not due to the cancer or treatment). Please feel free to ask ANY questions that you have or voice your thought about ANYTHING!!! I think you will find that your thoughts, fears, and worries have been shared by many others and this will help you to deal with them in a more productive manner. You'll be in my prayers!

    God bless,
    Rita

    I'm new too
    I'm new here, I just wish I found the site while I was going for treatments..it would have helped a whole lot---
    Anyway, here's a short version of what I did..
    Was diagnose in Feb. of 2008 with breast cancer--started chemo the end of the month with
    Adr./Cytox for four treatments then went on to Taxol/Herceptin for 12 treatments-that ended the beginning of Aug.--Had a mast. in September and then radiation for 28 treatments and at the same time was getting the rest of the Herceptin -finished that the beginning of April of this year...I still get depressed and sad...my thought is everyone does....
    especially when you're waiting for test results--it's the worse....

    Angie
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    #6
    Welcome.......
    Hi Reindeer, and welcome.

    I think that we have all experienced every emotion known to man, during our fight with cancer. And it is all normal, in my opinion.

    I have felt complete terror, sadness, giddiness, despair, elation, overwhelmed. I have sometimes been so depressed that I thought that I would never climb out of that hole.

    Everyone here understands and this is a wonderful place to come for reassurance and information, understanding and compassion.

    CR
  • Jadie
    Jadie Member Posts: 723
    #7
    lafera12 said:

    I'm new too
    I'm new here, I just wish I found the site while I was going for treatments..it would have helped a whole lot---
    Anyway, here's a short version of what I did..
    Was diagnose in Feb. of 2008 with breast cancer--started chemo the end of the month with
    Adr./Cytox for four treatments then went on to Taxol/Herceptin for 12 treatments-that ended the beginning of Aug.--Had a mast. in September and then radiation for 28 treatments and at the same time was getting the rest of the Herceptin -finished that the beginning of April of this year...I still get depressed and sad...my thought is everyone does....
    especially when you're waiting for test results--it's the worse....

    Angie

    Welcome Reindeer and Angie
    I think everyone get depressed or sad at the end of treatment. We feel as if we have lost our security blanket and are facing this big world all alone. And yes waiting is the worse even after almost 6 yrs for me.

    Glad you both found us. We are here for you whenever you have a question, an answer or just want to vent.

    Jadie
  • reindeer4
    reindeer4 Member Posts: 4
    #8
    mimivac said:

    Welcome reindeer
    Yes, many of us have felt the "end of treatment blues" as that time approaches. You are released from the hassles of treatment, but also from the comfort of constant doctor care and attention. You are, in a sense, on your own. After months of appointments, it can be hard to transition into this new state. People can feel lost or that their cancer is no longer being actively fought. I am right with you on this one. I finished chemo in April as well and am now on treatment 10 out of 33 rads. I have found myself getting weepy more often lately. I think it is the fear or recurrence slowly creeping up. It's natural, reindeer. The one great thing for feelings like this is to express them on this site. That way, the ladies (and gentlemen) here can help you out and identify with your thoughts. You've come a long way in your cancer journey and should be proud of yourself. The after-treatment phase will present new challenges and opportunities, and, just like before, you will learn to cope with them. Each step you make is a success. My radiation oncologist says that I will become more confident as each of my maintence scans comes back clear. I am thinking she's right. Again, welcome, reindeer.

    Mimi

    Thanks for your encouraging
    Thanks for your encouraging words, Mimi. You certainly make me feel welcome. I should have signed onto this supportive network months ago when it all started. I've just recently begun to feel particularly isolated and came to the cancer society site to see what resources there might be. I'm glad I found this discussion group. You're right, fear is a big part of the anxiety. As I'm almost half way through radiation, I think I'm starting to have more thoughts wondering what the outcome of all this will be. Wondering, too, if a person ever stops worrying. I have so many emotions and don't know what to do with them all. I like what your radiation oncologist told you about confidence. When does a person start maintenance scans? Are these MRIs? Again, thank you so much for your kind and helpful thoughts.
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    #9
    Welcome Reindeer and Angie.
    Welcome Reindeer and Angie. Glad you found us. I had 8 rounds of CAF and also felt very blue towards the end of treatment. I think that it got worse when I was tired. If you can, try taking a little cat nap in the afternoon to recharge. Eat smaller meals more often and drink lots of liquids. I found that helped me a lot. Hugs, Lili
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #10
    mmontero38 said:

    Welcome Reindeer and Angie.
    Welcome Reindeer and Angie. Glad you found us. I had 8 rounds of CAF and also felt very blue towards the end of treatment. I think that it got worse when I was tired. If you can, try taking a little cat nap in the afternoon to recharge. Eat smaller meals more often and drink lots of liquids. I found that helped me a lot. Hugs, Lili

    Warm welcome, reindeer4 & lafera12
    Warm welcome to both of you! I joined this amazing group not long ago, to mark my own 5 year anniversary for completion of all invasive treatment (surgery/chemotherapy/radiation). You've both already come a long way, and been through much. We're all here to help & share, support & encourage each other. No topics off limits. Feel free to express yourselves; and, vent if you need to. We don't judge, nor criticize. We recognize that we travel the same journey; but, the road is different for each of us, as we are different from each other.

    Another relatively new member described this group as a "safe zone" - and I thought that was perfect!

    The physical rigors of treatment, along with tremendous anxiety & stress, brings indescribable fatigue - for body, mind & spirit. Recovery from this exhaustion cannot begin in earnest until all invasive treatment ends. Then, with time, you will heal. Follow up appointments, maintenance tests and schedules differ for each patient, based on individual diagnosis and many other factors. For now, I suggest you simply focus on finishing your treatments. Then, I'm sure your doctors will explain their plans and guide you accordingly.

    As my fellow posters have already stated, your feelings are quite normal. And, we all understand.

    Best wishes to both of you.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • djteach
    djteach Member Posts: 273
    #11
    Christmas Girl said:

    Warm welcome, reindeer4 & lafera12
    Warm welcome to both of you! I joined this amazing group not long ago, to mark my own 5 year anniversary for completion of all invasive treatment (surgery/chemotherapy/radiation). You've both already come a long way, and been through much. We're all here to help & share, support & encourage each other. No topics off limits. Feel free to express yourselves; and, vent if you need to. We don't judge, nor criticize. We recognize that we travel the same journey; but, the road is different for each of us, as we are different from each other.

    Another relatively new member described this group as a "safe zone" - and I thought that was perfect!

    The physical rigors of treatment, along with tremendous anxiety & stress, brings indescribable fatigue - for body, mind & spirit. Recovery from this exhaustion cannot begin in earnest until all invasive treatment ends. Then, with time, you will heal. Follow up appointments, maintenance tests and schedules differ for each patient, based on individual diagnosis and many other factors. For now, I suggest you simply focus on finishing your treatments. Then, I'm sure your doctors will explain their plans and guide you accordingly.

    As my fellow posters have already stated, your feelings are quite normal. And, we all understand.

    Best wishes to both of you.

    Kind regards, Susan

    Welcome! I don't have too
    Welcome! I don't have too much to add. You have found one of the best support groups on the internet. What ever you need support for, this is where you will get it. This group is incredible.

    Love and gentle hugs,
    Donna
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #12
    djteach said:

    Welcome! I don't have too
    Welcome! I don't have too much to add. You have found one of the best support groups on the internet. What ever you need support for, this is where you will get it. This group is incredible.

    Love and gentle hugs,
    Donna

    Hi, nice to meet you both and sorry too.

    I found that when I was in treatment is was a chaotic whirlwind for most of the time. Then all of a sudden.......Nothing. It does take it out of you and I ended up on antidepressents, as did a lot of people who had been through this.

    They sure helped though, even though I fought like mad not to have to take anything.

    Warm wishes to you both (and everyone else in here too)

    Big Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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