lmaniacek Member Posts: 5
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Lost right breast to cancer last June. I did not have to go through chemo-rad. I also
did not have to have any of my lymph nodes taken out. At that time might sound weird but i felt I did not have cancer. I have met people recently who have or had breast cancer, but they have gone thru chemo-rad. These people seem to be doing better than I am. Now that I had my left breast removed for reconstruction, and that after 2 surgeries, 4 infections, expander taken out from left side, I feel like I have the cancer now. I have gone through more problems now than I did last year. I don't sleep nights, I cry all the time. It has been almost 2 months since the last surgery, and I have not looked at myself. Just thinking about what I look like upsets me. People tell me they are only breast, but I feel I am not whole without them. I know going through chemo-and rad is a lot worse, I don't mean to sound like what i am going through is worse, but how do you deal with it. I have gotten to the point that my health nurse, and doctor want me to see a therapist. Just not sure what to do anymore. anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with myself.


  • EveningStar2
    EveningStar2 Member Posts: 491 Member
    I'm sorry that you have been through all this.

    I think that your medical team is correct and you would probably benefit from therapy. Some one on some thread said we *all* should go through therapy along with surgery, chemo, rads, medication, therapy. I'm thinking I agree. Lately, my hubby thinks I spend too much time on the board and I'm dwelling on this bout with cancer and that I should 'get over it'. We have talked & I've tried to explain it ain't that easy. Back to: we probably all need therapy.

  • peggy65
    peggy65 Member Posts: 100
    i also think therapy would
    i also think therapy would be a good idea. you have experienced several losses and you sound as if you are grieving those losses. as you should. having someone to share with especially one who has had cancer is always beneficial. do you have access to a support group in your community? when we can come together on common ground we can move forward. you have been through so much that it might be time to give yourself permission to ask for some help. i know that it may be hard to seek help for some of us but you will begin to feel more alive as you do. this board is also a wonderful resource for you. i have experienced many of the symptoms that you spoke about. i have tried to take my advice and it does help. i can see glimpses of acceptance and forgiveness entering into my life. it is a wonderful gift that i have given myself. i now have many more good days rather than bad days. thinking of you and wishing you support and peace, love, peggy
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Hello, Imaniacek!
    I believe we all experience at least a bit of denial, at some point along the way. A cancer diagnosis is devastating, and beyond extremely difficult to accept and learn to deal with. Although we all travel the same road, the journey is quite different for each of us. And, we must all find our own way along it, at our own pace... So, please - it's not beneficial to compare yourself & the way you feel right now to others. Try to just focus on yourself.

    If your own doctor & nurse are suggesting professional help - go for it! There is no shame in this, none at all. In fact, there is a thread from a few days back in which many members expressed that during/following treatment - some sort of mental & emotional therapy should be standard, automatically included. Because we all struggle.

    Of course, we are all here within this group/forum to support & encourage each other. My best wishes to you.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    You have really been through the wringer, both physically and emotionally. All of this will leave scars on both body and mind.

    A therapist is not a bad thing, especially when it comes to trying to resolve these things for which we had no control over.

    My father-in-law was the exact same way that you are describing, after his third cancer diagnosis. His last surgeries were on his face, and so he would not go out the door because he did not want to be seen. He would simply sit in the house and cry. Would not talk to anyone. Wouldn't look at himself. (HE THOUGHT he looked fact, he DID NOT)
    His doctors finally suggested therapy, and while it was very, very difficult to get him to go at first, the therapist helped him immensely! And both he and the family were very grateful for the help provided to him.

    I don't like to look at the place where my breast used to be. But I also accept that it is gone and this is the way it is now, and will be. It is all part of the "new me".
    But even though I have accepted and am pretty much at peace with the way things are, I have times when I mourn for the "old me".
    I think we would all benefit from talking to a therapist when dealing with cancer and the changes that it brings to our lives. Nobody wants to be continually sad and frightened, and therapy is just another healing tool.

    Great big hugs for you.
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    I hope that you are feeling
    I hope that you are feeling stronger and better with each passing day. I also think you should talk to your oncologist about your feelings and maybe they can prescribe something for you to take or make an appointment for you to talk to a therapist or something. You have been thru so much and just need a little help now, like we all do after going thru this disease.