Phrases that mean something different to you now than before your diagnosis

scouty
scouty Member Posts: 1,965 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
A fun thread, I'll start;

Sh@t happens

Opinions are like a@@holes, everyone has one

Bootie check



I know you all have your own, bring them on. Think of the smiles you will be generating!!!

Lisa P.
«13

Comments

  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
    #2
    I just posted this on another flaming thread and then saw yours. So I apologize for the repeat.

    Here's my joke:


    Why are rectal cancer patients all so nice?

    Because there isn't an @$$#0le among them!


    peace, emily
  • kristasplace
    kristasplace Member Posts: 957 Member
    #3
    No a##holes in the bunch...
    That's pretty cute, Emily!

    How about "turn the other cheek". Why do they always want you on your RIGHT side for a rectal exam and colonoscopy??

    Krista
  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    #4
    Fun...
    How about

    Butt out - makes me think of an ostomy now!

    Butt ugly - mine after radiation

    Butt naked - EVERY doctor visit

    Butt-head - this is code for any medical person who doesn't really help or dismisses the patient's problems. I don't have any of these.


    Vicki
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #5
    How About...
    Self Colonoscopy - Someone who has their head very far up their own A$$


    Q: What's the difference between and endoscopy scope and an colonoscopy scope?
    A: The taste
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #6
    kristasplace said:

    No a##holes in the bunch...
    That's pretty cute, Emily!

    How about "turn the other cheek". Why do they always want you on your RIGHT side for a rectal exam and colonoscopy??

    Krista

    Left side
    I've always been on the left side.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #7
    Juicing
    Someone asked "Does anyone juice with a colostomy?"
    I said I prefer using vegetables and fruits but whatever floats your boat...
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #8
    Just off the top....
    Feeling like Sh@t...

    Would that be on one of my 'good' days (firm and warm)
    ...or my 'bad' days...well, I'll leave that up to you guys...

    Either way, I, personally, wouldn't want to feel it ANY day....

    ROFL! Great post!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • kmygil
    kmygil Member Posts: 876 Member
    #9
    Okay!
    Rectal patients are perfect A@@holes--no hemorrhoids!

    Kirsten
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    #10
    I'll Play
    When I got my colostomy I told everyone that when they called me a worthless a$$hole, they'd be right! LOL

    Kimby
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
    #11
    PhillieG said:

    Juicing
    Someone asked "Does anyone juice with a colostomy?"
    I said I prefer using vegetables and fruits but whatever floats your boat...

    I got it now!
    It took your two posts but I got it now! HAHAHAHA! good one.

    :-)

    peace, emily
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #12
    2bhealed said:

    I got it now!
    It took your two posts but I got it now! HAHAHAHA! good one.

    :-)

    peace, emily

    :-)
    It went over like a punctured colostomy bag...
    I did it on a dare, that's what I get
    ;-}
  • colon2
    colon2 Member Posts: 183
    #13
    kimby said:

    I'll Play
    When I got my colostomy I told everyone that when they called me a worthless a$$hole, they'd be right! LOL

    Kimby

    new name
    yesterday at lunch I commented that salad (any kind of lettuce other than iceberg) just goes right thru me after losing 32 inches of colon. My son said my new name would be Salad Shooter.
    Carletta
  • scouty
    scouty Member Posts: 1,965 Member
    #14
    colon2 said:

    new name
    yesterday at lunch I commented that salad (any kind of lettuce other than iceberg) just goes right thru me after losing 32 inches of colon. My son said my new name would be Salad Shooter.
    Carletta

    That made me laugh out loud and scare the dog
    Goodness, I've certainly had projectile diarrhea. Over the years it is much better but too much butter and grease does still set me off. I never left books and magazines in my bathrooms but I have them now. Reading material is essential.

    Thanks for the laugh Carletta!!!

    Lisa P.
  • colon2
    colon2 Member Posts: 183
    #15
    scouty said:

    That made me laugh out loud and scare the dog
    Goodness, I've certainly had projectile diarrhea. Over the years it is much better but too much butter and grease does still set me off. I never left books and magazines in my bathrooms but I have them now. Reading material is essential.

    Thanks for the laugh Carletta!!!

    Lisa P.

    Me too
    I laughed myself when he said it, I may have to try to figure out a way to change my name on the board. We all need to laugh as much as we can, and as often as we can. As for the books in the bathrom, I've been thinking about building shelves in there.
    Carletta
  • scouty
    scouty Member Posts: 1,965 Member
    #16
    colon2 said:

    Me too
    I laughed myself when he said it, I may have to try to figure out a way to change my name on the board. We all need to laugh as much as we can, and as often as we can. As for the books in the bathrom, I've been thinking about building shelves in there.
    Carletta

    Bathroom shelves
    with books intertwined with rolls of toilet paper, single and double ply.
  • trainer
    trainer Member Posts: 241
    #17
    scouty said:

    Bathroom shelves
    with books intertwined with rolls of toilet paper, single and double ply.

    BOHICA
    Stands for Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    #18
    trainer said:

    BOHICA
    Stands for Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!

    angel said now that i have
    angel said now that i have the ileostomy i'm twice the ### hole we laughed so hard
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #19
    KathiM said:

    Just off the top....
    Feeling like Sh@t...

    Would that be on one of my 'good' days (firm and warm)
    ...or my 'bad' days...well, I'll leave that up to you guys...

    Either way, I, personally, wouldn't want to feel it ANY day....

    ROFL! Great post!

    Hugs, Kathi

    After prep, before colonoscopy:
    Scared sh@t-less...

    (sorry if I offended anyone with this...)

    Hugs, Kathi
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    #20
    kristasplace said:

    No a##holes in the bunch...
    That's pretty cute, Emily!

    How about "turn the other cheek". Why do they always want you on your RIGHT side for a rectal exam and colonoscopy??

    Krista

    left side, same Dr.
    That's interesting Krista, since I know we both have gone to Dr. Ramamoorthy (& I imagine you also had your flex sig w/ Dr. Savides?)
    I've always been asked to lie on my left side, not right. Are you sure it's your right side they have you lie on? If so, maybe it depends upon where the initial tumor was?! Weird...

    Lisa
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    #21
    colon2 said:

    new name
    yesterday at lunch I commented that salad (any kind of lettuce other than iceberg) just goes right thru me after losing 32 inches of colon. My son said my new name would be Salad Shooter.
    Carletta

    LOL- me too!
    "Salad Shooter"- that is sooo funny!! I've noticed the same problem and I never even had the colon resection. Just with all the chemo, etc., salad seems to be the main thing that will start the diarhea up. A real bummer since I'm trying to eat healthier!

    This is a great thread!!

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