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  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #22
    bfbear said:

    By the numbers...
    Dearest Tasha,

    1. You are an incredible, strong woman, who also happens to be a cancer survivor;

    2. You know that life is short, more so than "non-survivors;"

    3. Only you know how committed you want to be to this relationship, but remember...

    4. Men (and women) can be abusive in SO many ways other than physical, and anyone that repeatedly attacks their "loved" one's self-esteem is being abusive, period;

    5. Use your support here, and find more face-to-face support where you live...divorce can be as challenging and exhausting and depressing as cancer (been there, done that) Of course, maybe after dealing with cancer, divorce is no big deal at all!!;

    6. Personally, I made my decision based on, "I'd rather live alone for the rest of my life than spend any more time here with him..." (We are sort of friends now, because we have a daughter in common and many years have passed, but it took a long, long time. If you haven't any kids, it's much easier to disengage.)

    7. "Above all, to thine own self be true."

    You are in my thoughts and prayers,
    Much love,
    Debi

    P.S. 8. If someone was behaving like that to me, after all I'd been through and now that I'd found a bit of happiness again, I'd give him the boot...after I gave him a piece of my mind!

    I totally agree Debi!
    Totallyyyyyyyyyyyy!
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #23
    Noel said:

    I totally agree Debi!
    Totallyyyyyyyyyyyy!

    Maybe they aren't used to our strength!
    You know,I had some fire before I was diagnosed,but I was pretty passive too. But cancer and my medical caregivers changed things. I'll never forget,my medical onc told me once that I underestimated myself-that I was stronger than I let on! I took that moment to my advantage and believed what he said and took a good look at myself! I feel more confident of myself and more outgoing!
    I think sometimes that people aren't ready for even the positive changes in us after cancer-they sometimes don't know what to think.
    Something to think on,I guess!
    Love,Patty
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #24
    bfbear said:

    By the numbers...
    Dearest Tasha,

    1. You are an incredible, strong woman, who also happens to be a cancer survivor;

    2. You know that life is short, more so than "non-survivors;"

    3. Only you know how committed you want to be to this relationship, but remember...

    4. Men (and women) can be abusive in SO many ways other than physical, and anyone that repeatedly attacks their "loved" one's self-esteem is being abusive, period;

    5. Use your support here, and find more face-to-face support where you live...divorce can be as challenging and exhausting and depressing as cancer (been there, done that) Of course, maybe after dealing with cancer, divorce is no big deal at all!!;

    6. Personally, I made my decision based on, "I'd rather live alone for the rest of my life than spend any more time here with him..." (We are sort of friends now, because we have a daughter in common and many years have passed, but it took a long, long time. If you haven't any kids, it's much easier to disengage.)

    7. "Above all, to thine own self be true."

    You are in my thoughts and prayers,
    Much love,
    Debi

    P.S. 8. If someone was behaving like that to me, after all I'd been through and now that I'd found a bit of happiness again, I'd give him the boot...after I gave him a piece of my mind!

    Thanks Debi
    I thought that what you said summed it up very well!
    love and hugs jackie

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