Question???????
tasha_111
Member Posts: 2,072
Is it just lovely, wonderful and caring people who are tagged by this horrible disease?..Or does this malady MAKE us into Lovely, wonderful and caring people?.. Just askin'
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Comments
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LOL, Ritaritazimm said:Let me know the answer
Let me know the answer to that one if you find out. Because if it is that only lovely, wonderful and caring get this crap.............I'm gonna stop being so lovely, wonderful and caring so I don't get it back again.
No wonder I married a Cheesehead. Y'all are hilarious. Thanks for making me really laugh.0 -
Good Question
You know, Julia, I have wondered that very same thing after meeting all of you here. You are all so kind, generous, loving, and unfailingly courageous and supportive. Why have such good and caring women been afflicted?
But, I think everyone was that way before; after all, you were Julia before, right? It is just that cancer makes those wonderful qualities all the more needed and evident. They are strengths that people reach for. Also, I think when you face your own mortality, to whatever degree cancer makes you do that, you realize you don't want to spend your time on pettiness.0 -
DefinitelyCR1954 said:Great question....
Great question! All I know is that you have described everyone here perfectly!! None better!!
CR
This is definitely one of those "chicken or the egg" conundrums.
Sometimes I've wondered if some people get certain kinds of cancer that relate to the lives they've led. In the case of breast cancer, women who are very motherly and nurturing to others (even if they don't have kids) -- the caretaking, often co-dependent types (like myself) who are always taking care of everyone else's needs before their own. Perhaps it's some sort of lesson on how to take care of yourself or finally let others take care of you?
My mother, who died of metastisized gall bladder cancer, spent most of her adult life being angry and bitter about my Dad leaving her after 8 years of marriage. She just never got over it, even after remarrying(sort of like, "How could he have the gall to leave me???"). At that time, gall bladder cancer was so rare that Sloan-Kettering had only 5 pages of information about it, which included the info that it was most common in Native American women in the 4-corners area of New Mexico. She was of German descent, very fair, and was born and lived her whole life in New York City...
Of course, I don't want to take this too far. Simply because I'm not sure how to apply it to colo-rectal cancer (and I know some of you out there have had this type of cancer, so PLEASE take this as the same kind of morbid humor we joke about with BC, OK?? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings inadvertantly...). However, this type of cancer could also be found in individuals prone to taking care of everyone first and themselves last, as in "holding it in until it's convenient to go..." instead of taking a break for oneself.
Wellllllllll...I've strayed pretty far.
Bottom line: In my opinion, women who get breast cancer are probably the nicest, most caring, loving, wonderful women in the world!!!! And again, although this is the club that no one wants to belong to, all its member are simply fabulous!!!
Here's to our very special, caring, loving club (imagine one of those animated cats with a margarita raised up to toast). I love you all.
Hugs,
Debi0 -
Wonderful, caring?Moopy23 said:Good Question
You know, Julia, I have wondered that very same thing after meeting all of you here. You are all so kind, generous, loving, and unfailingly courageous and supportive. Why have such good and caring women been afflicted?
But, I think everyone was that way before; after all, you were Julia before, right? It is just that cancer makes those wonderful qualities all the more needed and evident. They are strengths that people reach for. Also, I think when you face your own mortality, to whatever degree cancer makes you do that, you realize you don't want to spend your time on pettiness.
I'm not sure about the wonderful, caring---of COURSE we all were before BC----but it makes us all bosom buddies---or is that bosomless buddies? Or partially bosomed buddies?---I can get carried away with the details---but it's a nice diversion---thanks for the silliness!0 -
Hmmmmm....
Interesting question....or could it be that these boards help bring together caring, lovely, wonderful people who are compelled to reach out to help others and to connect to others for support...
jojo0 -
Partially BosomedNorcalJ said:Wonderful, caring?
I'm not sure about the wonderful, caring---of COURSE we all were before BC----but it makes us all bosom buddies---or is that bosomless buddies? Or partially bosomed buddies?---I can get carried away with the details---but it's a nice diversion---thanks for the silliness!
Guess I'll have to go with partially bosomed. At least for now. To be followed by pseudo bosomed and a half. But it will be the best darned pseudo bosom I can get.0 -
Jojo...jojo elizapest said:Hmmmmm....
Interesting question....or could it be that these boards help bring together caring, lovely, wonderful people who are compelled to reach out to help others and to connect to others for support...
jojo
YES! Although we all have our own needs, and find support & encouragement for ourselves here...
We JOIN in order to reach out to OTHERS, not expecting to gain without also giving.
Your particular point backs up the example Debi provided, about her poor mother, who just couldn't get over HERSELF (please, dear Debi, no insult to your mother is intended... hers was a very sad story - I am sorry for her, and you).
Kind regards, Susan0 -
Aaahhh, Julia...
One heckuva question you pose... Really had to pause and THINK about this one...
Already, many have answered. Rita, entertainingly witty! Debi, with her unique introspection.
All interesting & unique points of view, from intelligent folks. I think... (for whatever it's worth) First off, breast cancer primarily affects WOMEN. And we all know that women are superior! And I think cancer magnifies the best in mostly all of us - the best of what was already there, at least insofar as how we treat others. And cancer helps us to toss aside what's negative & hurtful. Because cancer hurts us so badly, we know & realize so clearly that what is NOT necessary in order to truly thrive is easier to let go of. Therefore, we become not only more caring & compassionate; but, also more accepting & forgiving.
Not long after diagnosis, my doctor had a little chat with me that went something like this. Words of wisdom for a cancer patient/survivor to LIVE by...
The PAST: It's over & done with. Can't go back, can't revise it. Therefore, don't look back with regret, ever - NO REGRETS. Hold close within your memories & your heart ONLY that which is good & precious. Let go of all else. Forgive & forget. (Think about THAT one, ladies - there's been an awful lot of "forgive & forget" on this board over the last several days - hasn't there?)
The PRESENT: Live WITHIN it, every day. Be grateful for it, every day. Because the present is ALL we ever really have.
The FUTURE: HOPE for it.
I have tried to apply these words of wisdom to my own life each day. I also firmly believe that this method of being & living is wise for everyone, even those without cancer. It's just so much harder for them to "get it" & clearly understand how much stands behind so few words. (I know this for sure because I've tried so hard to share, with very little success.) And how much sweeter life can be, when one truly savors it - as opposed to taking it for granted. I think we instinctively learn NOT to sweat the stupid & small stuff, which makes much more room for the truly important & big stuff.
Am I making any sense, or just rambling? My post is probably just a much longer & expanded version of Moopy's?
Well, anyway, "food for thought" & my two cents worth...
Kind regards, Susan0 -
Batch
Actually, in my worser moments I am a batch with an "i" instead of an "a." and when I am depressed and anxious I can be a horrible person and then people tell me otherwise and I think about forgiveness - for myself and others. So today is a new day, a blue sky day and the finches are as yellow as the dandelions and daffodils and the hills are green with gleams of white on the mountain ridges far away and I think I must go plant some peas and spinach today or I'll never forgive myself and so life goes on.
But I actually told my son to go get f'd yesterday (I have never said that word in front of ANY of my children before!). In my defense, what he did was quite egregious. I guess it's the depression anger. It took a lot of apologizing, since we are NOT a swearing family (my husband and I quit after our first baby was born.) And to think that I am a teacher, too... although in a past incarnation I was a sign painter and HAD to cuss with the the best of 'em being a girl and all. Well, I'm rambling as I try to balance this how wonderful we all are, so that's why we got breast cancer. Lynn0 -
I asked my husband for
I asked my husband for advice. He suggested this: It's like every person we have met from Oklahoma is the most sweet, caring, friendly people we have ever met. He wondered if this is because they have such a trial with natural disasters. Tornadoes, flooding, fire, almost all the extremes happen there. Maybe to survive they need to counter balance the disasters with being kind and helping each other.
What is that saying...Steel has to go through fire and water to make it strong? It's not a correct quote but you get the idea.0 -
You all have answered..Marcia527 said:I asked my husband for
I asked my husband for advice. He suggested this: It's like every person we have met from Oklahoma is the most sweet, caring, friendly people we have ever met. He wondered if this is because they have such a trial with natural disasters. Tornadoes, flooding, fire, almost all the extremes happen there. Maybe to survive they need to counter balance the disasters with being kind and helping each other.
What is that saying...Steel has to go through fire and water to make it strong? It's not a correct quote but you get the idea.
...I only had to read. Well said Ladies.0 -
Well SaidGreeneyedGirl said:You all have answered..
...I only had to read. Well said Ladies.
Hey you all put it beautifully....Maybe I should add to my question "Intelligent and Erudite"..LOL..Luv ya all Jxxxxx0
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