Just how tired are we?

Tired
Theresa,

I understand. I've been on chemo since 8/07 with breaks for surgeries or toxicity. Tired follows me and builds up in my system it seems. Irinitecon kicked my butt! As a fellow stage IV'er, I have tried to balance quanity vs quality. I am always chasing NED and that makes it difficult for me to even report the full side effects I'm experiencing because I'm afraid they will reduce dosages or pull me off somthing all together. I already don't have a good track record with chemo working and there isn't much left, so I really hesitate.

If I spend a day doing "normal" things, it takes at least the next day of laying around to feel better. I just had an extra 1 1/2 weeks off chemo (gave me a total of 2 1/2 wks off) which helped. This weekend I went on a college visitation with my youngest (I managed to walk the whole way with a couple breaks - yeah!) and then had the family here on Sunday. I spent Monday and Tuesday in my pj's resting. Doctor appts have the same effect. I worked the first year of treatments so this is a tremendous change. I'm not the same person as bc (before canzer) in many ways. My energy level is only one of them. *I* really have changed, too.

Do you think it's time to re-evaluate your chemo cocktail? Maybe a reduction in dosage, getting it less often, or a change of meds? If there isn't a marked improvement, is it worth it at the current levels? Or, maybe your doctor can give some premeds that would help. Weight gain: are you on any steroids? I gained 20# on folfox because of the decadron I was on.

It also sounds like you might be fighting either depression (medical term and I can't diagnose you cuz I ain't no doctor and can't be diagnosed over the internet anyway) or maybe just 'the blues'. Depression you should talk to your doctor about. The blues, I'll try to address - we all get that sometimes. You probably already know my only rule - I have fun every.single.day. No exceptions. I make fun of everything I can. I watch comedy central, read funny books, watch youtube, call friends that cheer me, listen to good music....something. I have a file in my email of every funny comic I've ever received and have a file of old jokes and stuff from my office days. Some days I feel like laying in my haze, but I force myself to do something that makes me laugh. (alright, when I'm feeling really sick, a smile is all I can muster) It helps with energy. That doesn't mean I run to the mall, but it makes life enjoyable. I don't just want to be alive, I want to LIVE. That is not the same thing I thought of 2 years ago, but enjoying each day is enough for now.

I also have a gratitude journal. I journal and even have started to blog on this site a little, but my gratitude journal is different. I started it many years ago. Before bed every night I write at least 5 things that I'm grateful for that day. It is hard somedays, but you will find yourself looking for things all day long to write that night. Sometimes I'm grateful for silly things, sometimes big things. I have trouble limiting myself to 5 most days!

What does all of that have to do with being tired? I dunno, but I know it DOES! The mind, body, spirit connection is very real. I don't know if this answers anything for you but I hope it makes you feel less alone. You are NOT alone. We are here.

Take care, dear friend,

Kimby

Julie 44 said:

Same for me
Hi there I am stage three and this week is my last treatment for now.I have been doing chemo since Sept...I had a CEA test done to see if my liver and bladder are ok and I need a coloscopy to deterine if thats ok too..Then I will have a HUGE BBQ to celebrate...The reason I am telling you all of this is because you NEED to find something in the furture to look forward to...I am going to the Jersey shore for a week this summer and I have a senior graduating this June..So party party party and lots of plans to make....
Talk to your doc and see if he can reduce your meds alittle to see if that works....I am always tired..I am 45 years old and still work..I feel like the more you try to keep your regular routine going the better you will feel physically and mentaly..It is very hard to do but just read you body signals.There is no crime in resting and know your limits...I have had to pass on alot of activities I used to do because I knew it would be to much for me..Dissapointing yes but you have to do whats best for you...
Try to keep positive I know how hard it is with all the side effects and what you are going through with head games and I also know how sick you can become of people telling you to stay positive but really really try it does help...Good luck keep us posted..God Bless Julie

Mine was a trip to the Spa in Palm Springs....
I can't agree more with Julie.

I was a stage III rectal cancer, with 9 bowel obstructions (one required ANOTHER hospitalization with 3 inches of small bowel removed...sigh...), and then a second diagnosis of cancer, stage II breast cancer, 6 months later...

I used the word 'weary'.

I set my mind on going to a spa in Palm Springs that I had visited before. So, I had good memories, and good visuals. After treatment....my final was rads for the breast cancer, 2 years after my first diagnosis...I went to the spa, for 3 days of glory, by myself. It helped get me thru many, many tough moments to be able to close my eyes, and imagine I was lounging by the pool, or taking the waters in the spa....

I still, 4 plus years later, visit that spa, and always with a smile in my heart. This last time, I told my story to a gal, turned out she was the head of the whole place. She was so taken by my story, and said she would remember it always. Added bonus...she had added a service to my spa day, for free!

Hugs, Kathi

KathiM said:

Mine was a trip to the Spa in Palm Springs....
I can't agree more with Julie.

I was a stage III rectal cancer, with 9 bowel obstructions (one required ANOTHER hospitalization with 3 inches of small bowel removed...sigh...), and then a second diagnosis of cancer, stage II breast cancer, 6 months later...

I used the word 'weary'.

I set my mind on going to a spa in Palm Springs that I had visited before. So, I had good memories, and good visuals. After treatment....my final was rads for the breast cancer, 2 years after my first diagnosis...I went to the spa, for 3 days of glory, by myself. It helped get me thru many, many tough moments to be able to close my eyes, and imagine I was lounging by the pool, or taking the waters in the spa....

I still, 4 plus years later, visit that spa, and always with a smile in my heart. This last time, I told my story to a gal, turned out she was the head of the whole place. She was so taken by my story, and said she would remember it always. Added bonus...she had added a service to my spa day, for free!

Hugs, Kathi

Tired longer now
I've only been doing the chemo gig since December, but I can honestly say that I am exhausted most of the time. I can remember being so tired before my DX that I could fall asleep at any time, but this is a different tired. After the surgery it was recooperating tired. The beginning of chemo I remember feeling tired, but not exhausted. Now, I get up in the morning and it takes me a little longer to get in the groove, I feel good for a few hours at work, but by the time I come home it's all I can do to clean up the kitchen from the night before!

I have to admit tho, that during the treatments I usually feel pretty good the first night (due to steroids and vicodin for leg pain), but it's hard to do any cleaning with the pack attached! I just can't wait until it's over, I want to feel better, especially since summer is nearly here!